we may refer the reader to an able, though not over indulgent, article in "The Quarterly Review."

Of what occurred, at that which appears to have been Mr. Barham's first interview with his old companion after their separation at college, we have a somewhat detailed account :

"November 6th.-Passed one of the pleasantest evenings I ever spent at Lord's. The company, beside the host and hostess, consisted of Mr. Cannon, Mr. C. Walpole, Mr. Hill, generally known as 'Tom Hill,' Theodore Hook, and myself. It was Hook's first visit there, and none of the party but myself, Cannon, and Hill, who were old friends of his, had ever seen him before. While at dinner he began to be excessively amusing. The subject of conversation was an absurdly bombastic prologue, which had been given to C, of D. L. T., to get by heart, as a hoax, beginning—

When first the drama's muse by freedom reared, In Grecian splendor unadorned appeared, etc. "Gattie, whose vanity is proverbial, was included in the joke. The stage-manager, who had the arranging of it, offered him also some equally ridiculous lines, which he said the author of the new comedy had written for himself, but that he had not sufficient nerve to deliver them.

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"No man on the stage has such nerve as I,' interrupted Gattie.

"Then it must be spoken in five characters; the dresses to be thrown off one after the other.'

"No performer can change his dress so quickly as I can,' quoth Gattie.

"Then I am afraid of the French dialect and the Irish brogue.'

"I'm the only Frenchman and Irishman on the stage,' roared Gattie.

etc.

"The hoax was complete, and poor Gattie sat up the whole night to learn the epilogue; went through three rehearsals with five dresses on, one over the other, as a Lady, a Dutchman, a Highlander, a Teague, and lastly, as Monsieur Tonson come again. All sorts of impediments were thrown in his way, such as sticking his breeches to his kilt, The time at length arrived, when the stagemanager informed him with a long face, that Colman, the licenser, instigated, no doubt, by Mathews, who trembled for his reputation, had refused to license the epilogue: and poor Gattie, after waiting during the whole of the interlude, in hopes that the license might yet come down, was obliged to retire most reluctantly and disrobe.

'Hook took occasion from this story to repeat part of a prologue which he once spoke as an amateur, before a country audience, without one word

being intelligible from the beginning to the end. He afterwards preached part of a sermon in the style of the Rev. of Norwich, of whom he gave a very humorous account; not one sentence of the harangue could be understood, and yet you could not help, all through, straining your attention to catch the meaning. He then gave us many absurd particulars of the Berners street hoax, which he admitted was contrived by himself and Henry H, who was formerly contemporary with me at Brazenose, and whom I knew there, now a popular preacher. He also mentioned another of a similar character, but previous in point of time, of which he had been the sole originator. The object of it was a Quaker who lived in Henrietta street, Covent Garden. Among other things brought to his house

were the dresses of a Punch and nine blue devils, and the body of a man from Lambeth-bone house, who had the day before been found drowned in the Thames.

"In the evening, after Lady had sung, 'I've been roaming,' Hook placed himself at the pianoforte, and gave a most extraordinary display of his powers, both as a musician and an improvisatore. His assumed object was to give a specimen of the burlettas formerly produced at Sadlers' Wells, and he went through the whole of one which he composed upon the spot. He commenced with the tuning of the instruments, the prompter's bell, the rapping of the fiddlestick by the leader of the band, and the overture, till, the curtain being supposed to rise, he proceeded to describe :—

"The first scene.-A country village-cottage (0. P.) church (P. S.) Large tree near wing. Bridge over a river occupying the centre of the background. Music.-Little men in red coats seen riding over bridge. Enter-Gaffer from cottage, to the symphony usually played on introducing old folks on such occasions. Gaffer, in recitative, intimates that he is aware that the purpose of the Squire in thus early

"The Squire dismisses all save Confidant, to whom, in recitative, he avows his design of carrying off the old man's daughter, then sings under her window. The casement up one pair of stairs

opens.

whether the voice which has been serenading her Susan appears at it, and sings—asking is that of her 'true blue William, who on the seas, -is blown about by every breeze.' The Squire hiding behind the tree she descends to satisfy herself; is accosted by him, and refuses his offer: he attempts force. The old man interferes, lectures Squire sings a song expressive of rage and his dethe Squire, locks up his daughter, and exit (P. S.) termination to obtain the girl, and exit (P. S.)

"Whistle-Scene changes with a slap.-Publichouse door; sailors carousing with long pig-tails, checked shirts, glazed hats, and blue trousers. Chorus-Jolly tars, Plough the main,-Kiss the

girls, Sea again.' William, in recitative, states that he has been 'With brave Rodney,' and has got 'Gold galore;' tells his messmates he has heard a land-lubber means to run away with his sweetheart, and asks their assistance. They promise it.

Tip us your fin! We'll stick t'ye, my hearty, And beat him! Haven't we beat Boneyparty? Solo, by William, 'Girl of my heart, Never part. Chorus of sailors-'Shiver my timbers,' 'Smoke, and fire, d-n the Squire,' etc., etc. (Whistlescene closes-slap.)

"Scene-the village as before. Enter Squire; reconnoitres in recitative; beckons on gipsies, headed by confidant in red. Chorus of gipsies entering Hark! hark! Butchers' dogs bark! Bow, wow, wow. Not now, not now.' 'Silence, hush!

"Artist!" mentally ejaculated the Colonel. "Mon Colonel, de Marqui had de mauvais goût one day, when he had large partie to dine, to put salt into his soup, before all his compagnie."

Indeed," said Arden; "and, may I ask, is that considered a crime, sir, in your code?"

"I don't know Code," said the man, "Morue?dat is salt enough without."

"I don't mean that, sir," said the Colonel; "I ask, is it a crime for a gentleman to put salt into his soup ?"

"Not a crime, mon Colonel," said Rissolle, "but it would be de ruin of me, as cook, should it be known to the world, so I told his Lordship I must leave him; that de butler had said, dat he saw his Lordship put de salt into de soup, which was to proclaim to the universe dat I did not know de propre quantite of salt required to season my soup." "And you left his Lordship for that?" inquired the astonished country gentleman.

"Oui, sir, his Lordship gave me excellent character; go afterward to live wid my Lord Trefoil, very good, respectable man, my Lord, of good family, and very honest man, I believe-but de king, one day, made him his governeur in Ireland, and I found I could not live in dat devil Dublin." "No!"

"No, mon Colonel-it is fine city?" said Rissolle good place-but dere is no Italian Opera." "How shocking!" said Arden, "and you left his Excellency on that occount?"

onel. Tigre," said Rissolle, "little man-boy, to hold de horse." "Ah!" said Arden, "" seven hundred pounds ayear, and a tiger!"

"Exclusive of de pâtisserrie, mon Colonel, I never touch dat departement, but I have de honor to recommend Jenkin, my sister's husband, for the påtisserrie, at five hundred pound, and his wine. Oh Jenkin is dog ship at dat, mon Colonel."

"Oh! exclusive of pastry," said the Colonel, emphatically.

"Oui, mon Colonel," said Rissolle.

"Which is to be contrived for five hundred pounds per annum, additional. Why, sir, the rector of my parish, a clergyman, and a gentleman, with an amiable wife and seven children, has but half the sum to live upon."

"Dat is hard," said Rissolle, shrugging up his shoulders.

"Hard-it is hard, sir," said Arden; "and yet you will hear the men who pay their cooks seven hundred a-year for dressing dinners, get up in their places in Parliament, declaim against the exorbitant wealth of the Church of England, and tell the people that our clergy are over-paid."

"Poor clergie! mon Colonel," said the man, "I pity your clergie; but den, you don't remember de science and experience dat it require to make an omelette soufflé."

THERE is one class of people who, with a depravity of appetite not excelled by that of the celebrated Anna Maria Schurman, who rejoiced in eating spiders, thirst after puns. If you fall in with these, you have no resource but to indulge them to their hearts' content; but, in order to rescue yourself from the imputation of believing punning to be wit, quote the definition of Swift, and be like him, as inveterate a punster as you possibly can, immediately after resting every thing, and hazarding all, upon the principle, that the worse the pun the better.

In order to be prepared for this sort of punic war, (for the disorder is provocative and epidemic,) the moment any one gentleman or lady has, as they say in Scotland, "let a pun," every body else in the room who can, or cannot do the same, sets to work to endeavor to emulate the example. From that period, all rational conversation is at an end, and a jargon of nonsense succeeds, which lasts till the announcement of coffee, or supper, or the carriages, puts a happy termination to the riot.

Addison says, one may say of a pun, as the countryman described his nightingale, that it is vox et præterea nihil, a sound, and nothing but a sound;" | and, in another place he tells us that "the greatest authors in their most serious works make frequent use of puns; the sermons of Bishop Andrews, and the tragedies of Shakspere are full of them; if a sinner was punned into repentance as in the latter, nothing is more usual than to see a hero weeping and grumbling for a dozen lines together;" but he also says, "it is indeed impossible to kill a weed which the soil has a natural disposition to produce. The seeds of punning are in the minds of all men, and though they may be subdued by reason, reflection, and good sense, they will be very apt to shoot up in the greatest genius that is not broken and cultivated by the rules of art."

Here is something like a justification of the enormity; and, as the pupil is to mix in all societies, he may as well be prepared.

Puns may be divided into different classes; they may be made in different ways, introduced by passing circumstances, or by references to by-gone events; they may be thrown in anecdotically, or conundrumwise. It is to be observed that feeling, or pity, or commiseration, or grief, are not to stand in the way of a pun-that personal defects are to be made available, and that sense, so as the sound answers, has nothing to do with the business.

If a man is pathetically describing the funeral of his mother or sister, or wife, it is quite allowable to call it a "black-burying party," or to talk of a "fit of coffin," a weeping relative struggling to conceal his grief may be likened to a commander of " "private tears;" throw in a joke about the phrase of "funerals performed," and a re-hearsal; and wind up with the anagram real-fun, funeral.

I give this instance first, in order to explain that nothing, however solemn the subject, is to stand in the way of a pun.

It is allowable, when you have run a subject dry in English, to hitch in a bit of any other language which may sound to your liking. For instance, on a fishing party. You say fishing is out of your line; yet, if you did not keep a float, you would deserve a rod; and if anybody affects to find fault with your joke, exclaim "Oh, vous bête !" There you have line, rod, float, and bait ready to your hand. Call two noodles from the city in a punt, endeavoring to catch small fry, "East Angles;” or, if you please, observe that "the punters are losing the fish," "catching nothing but a cold," or that "the fish are too deep for them." Call the Thames a “tidy" river; but say you prefer the Isis in hot weather.

Personal deformities or constitutional calamities are always to be laid hold of. If any body tells you that a dear friend has lost his sight, observe that it will make him more hospitable than ever, since now he would be glad to see any body. If a clergyman breaks his leg, remark that he is no longer a clergyman, but a lame man. If a poet is seized with apoplexy, affect to disbelieve it, although you know it to be true, in order to say

Poeta nascitur non fit;

and then, to carry the joke one step further, add, "that it is not a fit subject for a jest." A man falling into a tan-pit you may call "sinking in the sublime," a climbing boy suffocated in a chimney meets with a sootable death; and a pretty girl having caught the small-pox is to be much pitted. On the subject of the ear and its defects, talk first of something in which a cow sticks, and end by telling the story of the man who, having taken great pains to explain something to his companion, at last got into a rage at his apparent stupidity, and exclaimed, "Why, my dear Sir, don't you comprehend? the thing is as plain as A, B, C." "I dare say it is," said the other; "but I am D, E, F."

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