Ant. S. Sweet mistress, (what your name is | me; but that she, being a very beastly creature, else, I know not, lays claim to me. Nor by what wonder you do hit on mine,) Less, in your knowledge, and your grace, you show not, Than our earth's wonder; more than earth divine. Teach me, dear creature, how to think speak; and Lay open to my earthly gross conceit, But if that I am I, then well I know, Your weeping sister is no wife of mine, Nor to her bed no homage do I owe; Far more, far more, to you do I decline. O train me not, sweet mermaid, note, with thy To drown me in thy sister's flood of tears; Sing, siren, for thyself, and I will dote: Spread o'er the silver waves thy golden And as a bed I'll take thee, and there lie; He gains by death, that hath such means to Let love, being light, be drowned if she sink! Luc. What, are you mad, that you do reason 50 ? Ant. S. Not mad, but mated; † how, I do not know. Luc. It is a fault that springeth from your eye. Ant. S. For gazing on your beams, fair sun, Dro. 8. Do you know me, Sir? am I Dromio? am I your man? am I myself? Ant. S. Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art thyself. Dro. 8. I am an ass, I am a woman's man,'and besides myself. Ant. S. What woman's man? and how besides thyself? Dro. S. Marry, Sir, besides myself, I am due to a woman; oue that claims me, one that haunts me, one that will have me. Ant. S. What claim lays she to thee? Dro. S. Marry, Sir, such claim as you would lay to your horse; and she would have me as a beast; not that I being a beast, she would have 11. e. Confounded. Mermaid for siren. Ant. S. What is she? Dro. S. A very reverend body; ay, such a one as a man may not speak of, without he say, sir-reverence: I have but lean luck in the match, and yet is she a wondrous fat marriage? Ant. S. How dost thou mean, a fat marriage'? Dro. S. Marry, Sir, she's the kitchen-wench, and all grease and 1 know not what use to put her to, but to make a lamp of her, and run from her by her own light. I warrant, her rags, and the tallow in them, will burn a Poland winter: if she lives till doomsday, she'll burn a week longer than the whole world. Ant. S. What complexion is she of? Dro. S. Swart, like my shoe, but her face nothing like so clean kept; For why she sweats, a man may go over shoes in the grime of it. Ant. S. That's a fault that water will mend. Dro. S. No, Sir, 'tis in grain; Noah's flood could not do it. Ant. S. What's her name? Dro. S. Neil, Sir;-but her name and three quarters, that is, an ell and three quarters, will not measure her from hip to hip. Ant. S. Then she bears some breadth? Dro. S. No longer from head to foot, than from hip to hip: She is spherical, like a globe; 1 could find out countries in her. Ant. S. In what part of her body stands Ireland? Dro. S. Marry, Sir, in her buttocks; I found it out by the bogs. Ant. S. Where Scotland? Dro. S. I found it by the barrenness: hard, in the palm of the hand. Ant. S. Where France? Dro. S. In her forehead; arm'd and reverted, making war against her hair. Ant. S. Where England? Dro. S. I look'd for the chalky cliffs, but I could find no whiteness in them but I guess, it stood in her chin, by the salt rheum that ran between France and it. Ant. S. Where Spain? Dro. S. Faith, I saw it not; but I felt it, hot in her breath. Ant. S. Where America, the Indies? Dro. S. O Sir, upon her nose, all o'er embellished with rubies, carbuncles, sapphires, declining their rich aspect to the hot breath of Spain; who sent whole armadas of carracks to be ballast to her nose. Ant. S. Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands? Dro. 8. O Sir, I did not look so low. To And if the wind blow any way from shore, For fear you ne'er see chain nor money, more. But this I think, there's no man is so vain, ACT IV. SCENE I.-The same. [Exit. Enter a MERCHANT, ANGELO, and an OFFICER. Mer. You know, since pentecost the sum is due, And since I have not much impórtun'd you; Or, I'll attach you by this officer. Ang. Even just the sum, that I do owe to you, Is growing + to me by Antipholus ; Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, and DRO- Offi. That labour may you save; see where he comes. Ant. E. While I go to the goldsmith's house, go thou And buy a rope's end; that will I bestow For locking me out of my doors by day.- I promised your presence, and the chian; But neither chain, nor goldsmith came to me : Belike, you thought our love would last too long, If it were chain'd together; and therefore camne not. Ang. Saving your merry humour, here's the Dote, How much your chain weighs to the utmost carat ; The fineness of the gold, and chargeful fashion; Besides, I have some business in the town: Ant. E. No; bear it with you, lest I come not time enough. Ang. Well, Sir, I will: Have you the chain about you? much to say so. Ang. You wrong me more, Sir, in denying it. Ang. This touches me in reputation :— Ant. E. Consent to pay thee that I never bad! Arrest me, foolish fellow, if thou dar'st. I would not spare my brother in this case, Offi. I do arrest you, Sir; you hear the suit. Ant. E. I do obey thee, till 1 give thet bail: • I shall. t But, sirrah, you shall buy this sport as dear As all the metal in your shop will answer. Ang. Sir, Sir, I shall have law in Ephesus, To your notorious shame, I doubt it not. Enter DROMIO of Syracuse. Dro. S. Master, there is a bark of Epidam num, That stays but till her owner comes aboard, And then, Sir, bears away: our fraughtage, Sir, I have convey'd aboard; and I have bought Ant. E. How now! a madman! why thou peevish sheep, What ship of Epidamnum stays for me? Dro. S. A ship you sent me to, to hire waf tage. I Ant. E. Thou drunken slave, I sent thee for a rope; And told thee to what purpose and what end. Dro. S. You sent me, Sir, for a rope's end as soon: You sent me to the bay, Sir, for a bark. Ant. E. I will debate this matter at more leisure, And teach your ears to listen with more heed. On, officer, to prison till it come. [Exeunt MERCHANT, ANGELO, Officer, and ANT. E. Dre. S. To Adriana! that is where he din'd, Where Dowsabel did claim me for her hus Far from her nest the lapwing cries away ; † My heart prays for him, though my tongue do curse. Enter DROMIO of Syracuse. Dro. S. Here, go; the desk, the purse; sweet now, make haste. Luc. How hast thou lost thy breath f Adr. Where is thy master, Dromio! is he well? Dro. S. No, he's in tartar limbo, worse than hell: A devil in an everlasting garment hath him One, whose hard heart is button'd up with steel; A flend, a fairy, pitiless and rough; A wolf, nay, worse, a fellow all in buff; countermands one that The passages of alleys, creeks, and narrow lands; A hound that runs counter, and yet draws dryfoot well; One that, before the judgment, carries poor souls to hell. § Adr. Why, man, what is the matter? 'rested on the case. Adr. What, is he arrested? tell me, at whose suit. Dro. S. I know not at whose suit he is ar rested, well; But he is in a suit of buff, which 'rested him, that can I tell : Will you send him, mistress, redemption, the money in the desk ? Adr. Go fetch it, sister.-This I wonder at, [Exit LUCIANA. That he unknown to me, should be in debt: Tell me, was be arrested on a band?¶ Dro. S. Not on a band, but on a stronger thing; A chain, a chain; do you not hear it ring ? Dro. S. No, no, the bell: 'tis time, that I were gone. It was two ere I left him, and now the clock strikes one. Adr. The hours come back! that did I never hear. Dro. S. O yes, if any hour meet a sergeant, a 'turns back for very fear. Adr. As if time were in debt! how fondly dost thou reason? Dro. S. Time is a very bankrupt, and owes more than he's worth to season. Nay, he's a thief too: have you not heard men say, That time comes stealing on by night and day? If he be in debt, and theft, and a sergeant in the way, Hath be not reason to turn back an hour in a day. Enter LUCIANA. Adr. Go, Dromio; there's the money, bear it straight; And bring thy master home immediately. Marked by nature with deformity. + Who crieth most where her nest is not. 1 The officers in those days were clad in buff, which is also a a cant expression for a man's skin. Hell was the caut term for prison. Dro. S. Marry, he must have a long spoos, that must eat with the devil. Ant. S. Avoid then, fiend? why tell'st thou me of supping? Thou art, as you are all, a sorceress : I conjure thee to leave me, and be gone. Cour, Give me the ring of mine you had at dinner, Ant. S. There's not a man I meet, but doth Or, for my diamond, the chain you promis'd; salute me As if I were their well-acquainted friend; Enter DROMIO of Syracuse. Dro. S. Master, here's the gold you sent me for What, have you got the picture of old Adam new apparelled? Ant. S. What gold is this? what Adam dost thou mean? Dro. S. Not that Adam, that kept the paradise, but that Adam, that keeps the prison: he that goes in the calf's skin that was killed for the prodigal; he that came behind you, Sir, like an evil angel, and bid you forsake your liberty. Ant. S. I understand thee not. And I'll be gone, Sir, and not trouble you. A rush, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin, A nut, a cherry-stone: but she, more covetons, Master, be wise; and if you give it her, Cour. I pray you, Sir, the ring, or else the I hope, you do not mean to cheat me so. Dro. S. Fly pride, says the peacock: M [Exeunt ANT. and Dro. Belike, his wife, acquainted with his fits, Dro. S. No? why, 'tis a plain case: he that went like a base-viol, in a case of leather; the man, Sir, that, when gentlemen are tired, gives them a fob, and 'rests them; he, Sir, that takes pity on decayed men, and gives them suits of durance; he that sets up his rest to do more exploits with his mace, than a morris-He rush'd into my house, and took perforce pike. My ring away: This course I fittest choose; For forty ducats is too much to lose. Ant. S. What! thou mean'st an officer ? Dro. S. Ay, Sir, the serjeant of the band; he, that brings any man to answer it, that breaks his band: one that thinks a man always going to bed, and says, God give you good rest. Ant. S. Well, Sir, there rest in your foolery. Is there any ship puts forth to-night? may we be gone? Dro. S. Why, Sir, I brought you word an hour since, that the bark Expedition put forth to-right! and then were you hindered by the serjeant, to tarry for the hoy, Delay: Here are the angels that you sent for, to deliver you. Ant. S. The fellow is distract, and so am 1; And here we wander in illusions: Some blessed power deliver us from hence! Dro. S. Master, is this mistress Satan? Dro. S. Nay, she is worse, she is the devil's dam; and here she comes in the habit of a light wench; and thereof comes, that the wenches say, God damn me, that's as much as to say, God make me a light wench. It is written they appear to men like angels of light: light is au effect of fire, and fire will burn; ergo, light wenches will burn; Come not near her. Cour. Your man and you are marvellous merry, Sir. [here. Will you go with me? We'll mend our dinner) Dro. S. Master, you do expect spoon-meat, or bespeak a long spoon. Ant. S. Why, Dromio? •Fanciful conception. SCENE IV.-The same. [Exit. Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, and an Ant. E. Fear me not, man, I will not break I'll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money Enter DROMIO of Ephesus with a rope's end. How now, Sir? have you that I sent you fort them all. Ant. E. To what end did I bid thee hie thee home ? Dro. E. To a rope's end, Sir: and to that end am I return'd. Ant. E. And to that end, Sir; I will wel- Off. Good Sir, be patient. Of. Good now, hold thy tongue. Dro. E. Nay, rather persuade him to hold his hands. Ant. E. Thou whoresou, senseless villasa ! • Correct them all. Dro. E. I would I were senseless, Sir, that I might not feel your blows. Ant. E. Thou art sensible in nothing but blows, and so is an ass. Dro. E. I am an ass, indeed; you may prove it by my long ears. I have serv'd him from the hour of nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his hands for my service, but blows: when I am cold, he beats me with beating: when I am warm, he cools me with beating: am waked with it, when I sleep; raised with it, when I sit; driven out of doors with it, when I go from home; welcomed home with it, when I return: nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as a beggar wont her brat; and, I think, when he hath lamed me, I shall beg with it from door to door. Enter ADRIANA, LUCIANA, and the COURTEZAN, with PINCH, and others. Ant. E. Come, go along; my wife is coming yonder, Dro. E. Mistress, respice finem, respect your end; or rather the prophecy, like the parrot, Beware the rope's end. Ant. E. Wilt thou still talk? [Beats him. Cour. How say you now? is not your bus band mad? Pinch. It is no shame; the fellow finds his vein, And, yielding to him, humours well bis frenzy. Ant. E. Thou hast suborn'd the goldsmith to arrest me. Adr. Alas! I sent you money to redeem you. By Dromio here, who came in haste for it. Dro. E. Money by me? heart and good-will you might, But surely, master, not a rag of money. Ant. E. Went'st not thou to her for a purse of ducats ? Adr. He came to me, and I deliver'd it. Luc. And I am witness with ber, that she did. Dro. E. God and the rope-maker, bear me witness, That I was sent for nothing but a rope! Pinch. Mistress, both man and master is possess'd: They must be bound, and laid in some dark I know it by their pale and deadly looks: room. Ant. E. Say, wherefore didst thou lock me forth to-day, And why dost thou deny the bag of gold? Adr. I did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth. Dro. E. And, gentle master, I receiv'd no gold; But I confess, Sir, that we were lock'd out. Adr. Dissembling villain, thou speak'st false in both. Ant. E. Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all: To make a loathsome abject scorn of me: That would behold in me this shameful sport. (PINCH and his assistants bind ANT. and DROMIO. Adr. O bind him, bind him, let him not come near me. Pinch. More company;-the fiend is strong within him. Luc. Ah! me, poor man, how pale and wan he looks! officer ? Hast thou delight to see a wretched man The debt he owes, will be requir'd of me. Adr. I will discharge thee, ere I go from thee: Bear me forthwith unto his creditor, for you. |