The Dramatic Works of William Shakspeare

Ant. S. Sweet mistress, (what your name is | me; but that she, being a very beastly creature, else, I know not, lays claim to me.

Nor by what wonder you do hit on mine,) Less, in your knowledge, and your grace, you show not,

Than our earth's wonder; more than earth divine.

Teach me, dear creature, how to think speak;

and

Lay open to my earthly gross conceit,
Smother'd in errors, feeble, shallow, weak,
The folded meaning of your word's deceit.
Against my soul's pure truth why labour you,
To make it wander in an unknown field?
Are you a god? would you create me new?
Transform me then, and to your power I'll
yield.

But if that I am I, then well I know,

Your weeping sister is no wife of mine, Nor to her bed no homage do I owe;

Far more, far more, to you do I decline. O train me not, sweet mermaid,

note,

with thy

To drown me in thy sister's flood of tears; Sing, siren, for thyself, and I will dote:

Spread o'er the silver waves thy golden
hairs,

And as a bed I'll take thee, and there lie;
And in that glorious supposition, think

He gains by death, that hath such means to
die :-

Let love, being light, be drowned if she sink! Luc. What, are you mad, that you do reason 50 ?

Ant. S. Not mad, but mated; † how, I do not know.

Luc. It is a fault that springeth from your eye.

Ant. S. For gazing on your beams, fair sun,

Dro. 8. Do you know me, Sir? am I Dromio? am I your man? am I myself? Ant. S. Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art thyself.

Dro. 8. I am an ass, I am a woman's man,'and besides myself.

Ant. S. What woman's man? and how besides thyself?

Dro. S. Marry, Sir, besides myself, I am due to a woman; oue that claims me, one that haunts me, one that will have me.

Ant. S. What claim lays she to thee? Dro. S. Marry, Sir, such claim as you would lay to your horse; and she would have me as a beast; not that I being a beast, she would have 11. e. Confounded.

Mermaid for siren.

Ant. S. What is she?

Dro. S. A very reverend body; ay, such a one as a man may not speak of, without he say, sir-reverence: I have but lean luck in the match, and yet is she a wondrous fat marriage?

Ant. S. How dost thou mean, a fat marriage'? Dro. S. Marry, Sir, she's the kitchen-wench, and all grease and 1 know not what use to put her to, but to make a lamp of her, and run from her by her own light. I warrant, her rags, and the tallow in them, will burn a Poland winter: if she lives till doomsday, she'll burn a week longer than the whole world.

Ant. S. What complexion is she of? Dro. S. Swart, like my shoe, but her face nothing like so clean kept; For why she sweats, a man may go over shoes in the grime of it.

Ant. S. That's a fault that water will mend. Dro. S. No, Sir, 'tis in grain; Noah's flood could not do it.

Ant. S. What's her name?

Dro. S. Neil, Sir;-but her name and three quarters, that is, an ell and three quarters, will not measure her from hip to hip.

Ant. S. Then she bears some breadth?

Dro. S. No longer from head to foot, than from hip to hip: She is spherical, like a globe; 1 could find out countries in her.

Ant. S. In what part of her body stands Ireland?

Dro. S. Marry, Sir, in her buttocks; I found it out by the bogs.

Ant. S. Where Scotland?

Dro. S. I found it by the barrenness: hard, in the palm of the hand.

Ant. S. Where France?

Dro. S. In her forehead; arm'd and reverted, making war against her hair.

Ant. S. Where England?

Dro. S. I look'd for the chalky cliffs, but I could find no whiteness in them but I guess, it stood in her chin, by the salt rheum that ran between France and it.

Ant. S. Where Spain?

Dro. S. Faith, I saw it not; but I felt it, hot in her breath.

Ant. S. Where America, the Indies?

Dro. S. O Sir, upon her nose, all o'er embellished with rubies, carbuncles, sapphires, declining their rich aspect to the hot breath of Spain; who sent whole armadas of carracks to be ballast to her nose.

Ant. S. Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands?

Dro. 8. O Sir, I did not look so low. To
conclude, this drudge, or diviner, laid claim to
me; called me Dromio; swore I was assur'd
to her; told me what privy marks I had about
me, as the mark on my shoulder, the mole in
my neck, the great wart on my left arm, that I,
amazed, ran from her as a witch and I think
if my breast had not been made of faith, and
my heart of steel, she had transformed me to a
curtail-dog, and made me turn i'the wheel. §
Ant. S. Go, hie thee presently, post to the
road;

And if the wind blow any way from shore,
I will not harbour in this town to-night.
If any bark put forth, come to the mart,
Where I will walk, till thou return to me.
If every one know us, and we know none,
'Tis time I think, to trudge, pack, and be

For fear you ne'er see chain nor money, more.
Ang. You are a merry man, Sir; fare you
well.
[Exit.
Ant. S. What I should think of this, I cannot
tell;

But this I think, there's no man is so vain,
That would refuse so fair an offer'd chain,
I see, a man here needs not live by shifts,
When in the streets he meets such golden gifts.
I'll to the mart, and there for Dromio stay:
If any ship put out, then straight away.

ACT IV.

SCENE I.-The same.

[Exit.

Enter a MERCHANT, ANGELO, and an

OFFICER.

Mer. You know, since pentecost the sum is

due,

And since I have not much impórtun'd you;
Nor now I bad not, but that I am bound
To Persia, and want gilders for my voyage :
Therefore make present satisfaction,

Or, I'll attach you by this officer.

Ang. Even just the sum, that I do owe to you,

Is growing + to me by Antipholus ;
And, in the instant that I met with you
He had of me a chain; at five o'clock,
I shall receive the money for the same:
Pleaseth you walk with me down to his house,
I will discharge my bond, and thank you too.

Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, and DRO-
MIO of Ephesus.

Offi. That labour may you save; see where he

comes.

Ant. E. While I go to the goldsmith's house, go thou

And buy a rope's end; that will I bestow
Among my wife and her confederates,

For locking me out of my doors by day.-
But soft, I see the goldsmith:-get thee gone;
Buy thou a rope, and bring it home to me.
Dro. E. I buy a thousand pound a year!
buy a rope!
[Exit DROMIO.
Ant. E. A man is well holp up, that trusts
to you;

I promised your presence, and the chian;

But neither chain, nor goldsmith came to me : Belike, you thought our love would last too long,

If it were chain'd together; and therefore camne

not.

Ang. Saving your merry humour, here's the Dote,

How much your chain weighs to the utmost

carat ;

The fineness of the gold, and chargeful fashion;
Which doth amount to three old ducats more
That I stand debted to this gentleman;
I pray you, see him presently discharg'd,
For he is bound to sea, and stays but for it.
Ant. E. I am not furnish'd with the present
money:

Besides, I have some business in the town:
Good signior take the stranger to my house,
And with you take the chain, and bid my wife
Disburse the sum on the receipt thereof;
Perchance, I will be there as soon as you.
Ang. Then you will bring the chain to her
yourself?

Ant. E. No; bear it with you, lest I come not time enough.

Ang. Well, Sir, I will: Have you the chain

about you?

much to say so.

Ang. You wrong me more, Sir, in denying it.
Consider, how it stands upon my credit.
Mer. Well, officer, arrest him at my suit.
Offi. I do; and charge you in the duke's name
to obey me.

Ang. This touches me in reputation :—
Either consent to pay this sum for me,
Or I attach you by this officer.

Ant. E. Consent to pay thee that I never bad! Arrest me, foolish fellow, if thou dar'st.

I would not spare my brother in this case,
Ang. Here is thy fee; arrest him, officer;
If he should scorn me so apparently.

Offi. I do arrest you, Sir; you hear the suit. Ant. E. I do obey thee, till 1 give thet bail:

• I shall.

But, sirrah, you shall buy this sport as dear As all the metal in your shop will answer.

Ang. Sir, Sir, I shall have law in Ephesus, To your notorious shame, I doubt it not.

Enter DROMIO of Syracuse.

Dro. S. Master, there is a bark of Epidam

num,

That stays but till her owner comes aboard, And then, Sir, bears away: our fraughtage,

Sir,

I have convey'd aboard; and I have bought
The oil, the balsamum, and aqua-vitæ.
The ship is in her trim! the merry wind
Blows fair from land; they stay for nought at all,
But for their owner, master, and yourself.

Ant. E. How now! a madman! why thou peevish sheep,

What ship of Epidamnum stays for me?

Dro. S. A ship you sent me to, to hire waf tage. I

Ant. E. Thou drunken slave, I sent thee for a rope;

And told thee to what purpose and what end. Dro. S. You sent me, Sir, for a rope's end

as soon:

You sent me to the bay, Sir, for a bark.

Ant. E. I will debate this matter at more leisure,

And teach your ears to listen with more heed.
To Adriana, villain, hie thee straight;
Give her this key, and tell her, in the desk
That's cover'd o'er with Turkish tapestry.
There is a purse of ducats let her send it;
Tell her, I am arrested in the street,
And that shall bail me: hie thee, slave; be
gone.

On, officer, to prison till it come.

[Exeunt MERCHANT, ANGELO, Officer, and ANT. E.

Dre. S. To Adriana! that is where he din'd, Where Dowsabel did claim me for her hus

Far from her nest the lapwing cries away ; † My heart prays for him, though my tongue do curse.

Enter DROMIO of Syracuse.

Dro. S. Here, go; the desk, the purse; sweet now, make haste.

Luc. How hast thou lost thy breath f
Dro. S. By running fast.

Adr. Where is thy master, Dromio! is he well?

Dro. S. No, he's in tartar limbo, worse than hell:

A devil in an everlasting garment hath him One, whose hard heart is button'd up with steel;

A flend, a fairy, pitiless and rough;

A wolf, nay, worse, a fellow all in buff;
A back-friend, a shoulder-clapper,

countermands

one that

The passages of alleys, creeks, and narrow lands;

A hound that runs counter, and yet draws dryfoot well;

One that, before the judgment, carries poor souls to hell. §

Adr. Why, man, what is the matter?
Dro. S. I do not know the matter? he is

'rested on the case.

Adr. What, is he arrested? tell me, at whose suit.

Dro. S. I know not at whose suit he is ar

rested, well;

But he is in a suit of buff, which 'rested him, that can I tell :

Will you send him, mistress, redemption, the money in the desk ?

Adr. Go fetch it, sister.-This I wonder at, [Exit LUCIANA. That he unknown to me, should be in debt: Tell me, was be arrested on a band?¶

Dro. S. Not on a band, but on a stronger thing;

A chain, a chain; do you not hear it ring ?
Adr. What, the chain?

Dro. S. No, no, the bell: 'tis time, that I were gone.

It was two ere I left him, and now the clock strikes one.

Adr. The hours come back! that did I never hear.

Dro. S. O yes, if any hour meet a sergeant, a 'turns back for very fear.

Adr. As if time were in debt! how fondly dost thou reason?

Dro. S. Time is a very bankrupt, and owes more than he's worth to season. Nay, he's a thief too: have you not heard men

say,

That time comes stealing on by night and day?

If he be in debt, and theft, and a sergeant in the way, Hath be not reason to turn back an hour in a day.

Enter LUCIANA.

Adr. Go, Dromio; there's the money, bear it straight;

And bring thy master home immediately.

Marked by nature with deformity.

+ Who crieth most where her nest is not.

1 The officers in those days were clad in buff, which

is also a a cant expression for a man's skin. Hell was the caut term for prison.

Dro. S. Marry, he must have a long spoos, that must eat with the devil.

Ant. S. Avoid then, fiend? why tell'st thou me of supping?

Thou art, as you are all, a sorceress :

I conjure thee to leave me, and be gone.

Cour, Give me the ring of mine you had at dinner,

Ant. S. There's not a man I meet, but doth Or, for my diamond, the chain you promis'd;

salute me

As if I were their well-acquainted friend;
And every one doth call me by my name.
Some tender money to me, some invite me ;
Some other give me thanks for kindnesses;
Some offer me commodities to buy:
Even now a tailor call'd me in his shop,
And show'd me silks that he had bought for me,
And, therewithal, took measure of my body.
Sure, these are but imaginary wiles,
And Lapland sorcerers inhabit here.

Enter DROMIO of Syracuse.

Dro. S. Master, here's the gold you sent me for What, have you got the picture of old Adam new apparelled?

Ant. S. What gold is this? what Adam dost thou mean?

Dro. S. Not that Adam, that kept the paradise, but that Adam, that keeps the prison: he that goes in the calf's skin that was killed for the prodigal; he that came behind you, Sir, like an evil angel, and bid you forsake your liberty.

Ant. S. I understand thee not.

And I'll be gone, Sir, and not trouble you.
Dro. S. Some devils ask but the paring of
one's nail,

A rush, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin,

A nut, a cherry-stone: but she, more covetons,
Would bave a chain.

Master, be wise; and if you give it her,
The devil will shake her chain, and fright as
with it.

Cour. I pray you, Sir, the ring, or else the
chain;

I hope, you do not mean to cheat me so.
Ant. S. Avaunt, thou witch! Come Dromis,
let us go.

Dro. S. Fly pride, says the peacock: M
tress, that you know.

[Exeunt ANT. and Dro.
Cour. Now, out of doubt, Antipholas is mai,
Else would he never so demean himself :
A ring he hath of mine worth forty ducats,
And for the same he promised me a cbaia!
Both one, and other, he denies me now.
The reason that I gather he is mad,
(Besides this present instance of his rage,)
is a mad tale, he told, to-day at dinner,
Of his own doors being shut against his en
trance.

Belike, his wife, acquainted with his fits,
On purpose shut the doors against his way.
My way his now, to hie home to his house,
And tell his wife, that, being lunatic,

Dro. S. No? why, 'tis a plain case: he that went like a base-viol, in a case of leather; the man, Sir, that, when gentlemen are tired, gives them a fob, and 'rests them; he, Sir, that takes pity on decayed men, and gives them suits of durance; he that sets up his rest to do more exploits with his mace, than a morris-He rush'd into my house, and took perforce pike. My ring away: This course I fittest choose; For forty ducats is too much to lose.

Ant. S. What! thou mean'st an officer ? Dro. S. Ay, Sir, the serjeant of the band; he, that brings any man to answer it, that breaks his band: one that thinks a man always going to bed, and says, God give you good rest.

Ant. S. Well, Sir, there rest in your foolery. Is there any ship puts forth to-night? may we be gone?

Dro. S. Why, Sir, I brought you word an hour since, that the bark Expedition put forth to-right! and then were you hindered by the serjeant, to tarry for the hoy, Delay: Here are the angels that you sent for, to deliver you. Ant. S. The fellow is distract, and so am 1; And here we wander in illusions: Some blessed power deliver us from hence!

Dro. S. Master, is this mistress Satan?
Ant. S. It is the devil.

Dro. S. Nay, she is worse, she is the devil's dam; and here she comes in the habit of a light wench; and thereof comes, that the wenches say, God damn me, that's as much as to say, God make me a light wench. It is written they appear to men like angels of light: light is au effect of fire, and fire will burn; ergo, light wenches will burn; Come not near her.

Cour. Your man and you are marvellous merry, Sir. [here. Will you go with me? We'll mend our dinner) Dro. S. Master, you do expect spoon-meat, or bespeak a long spoon.

Ant. S. Why, Dromio?

•Fanciful conception.

SCENE IV.-The same.

[Exit.

Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, and an
OFFICER.

Ant. E. Fear me not, man, I will not break
away;

I'll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money
My wife is in a wayward mood to-day:
To warrant thee, as I am 'rested, for.
And will not lightly trust the messenger,
That I should be attached in Ephesus :
I tell you, 'twill sound harshly in her ears.—

Enter DROMIO of Ephesus with a rope's end.
Here comes my man; I think, be brings the
money.

How now, Sir? have you that I sent you fort
Dro. E. Here's that, I warrant you, wiii pay

them all.

Ant. E. To what end did I bid thee hie thee home ?

Dro. E. To a rope's end, Sir: and to that end am I return'd.

Ant. E. And to that end, Sir; I will wel-
come you.
[Beating him.

Off. Good Sir, be patient.
Dro. E. Nay, 'tis for me to be patient; I am
in adversity.

Of. Good now, hold thy tongue. Dro. E. Nay, rather persuade him to hold his hands.

Ant. E. Thou whoresou, senseless villasa !

• Correct them all.

Dro. E. I would I were senseless, Sir, that I might not feel your blows.

Ant. E. Thou art sensible in nothing but blows, and so is an ass.

Dro. E. I am an ass, indeed; you may prove it by my long ears. I have serv'd him from the hour of nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his hands for my service, but blows: when I am cold, he beats me with beating: when I am warm, he cools me with beating: am waked with it, when I sleep; raised with it, when I sit; driven out of doors with it, when I go from home; welcomed home with it, when I return: nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as a beggar wont her brat; and, I think, when he hath lamed me, I shall beg with it from door to door.

Enter ADRIANA, LUCIANA, and the COURTEZAN, with PINCH, and others.

Ant. E. Come, go along; my wife is coming

yonder,

Dro. E. Mistress, respice finem, respect your end; or rather the prophecy, like the parrot, Beware the rope's end.

Ant. E. Wilt thou still talk?

[Beats him.

Cour. How say you now? is not your bus

band mad?

Pinch. It is no shame; the fellow finds his vein,

And, yielding to him, humours well bis frenzy. Ant. E. Thou hast suborn'd the goldsmith to arrest me.

Adr. Alas! I sent you money to redeem you. By Dromio here, who came in haste for it. Dro. E. Money by me? heart and good-will you might,

But surely, master, not a rag of money. Ant. E. Went'st not thou to her for a purse of ducats ?

Adr. He came to me, and I deliver'd it. Luc. And I am witness with ber, that she did.

Dro. E. God and the rope-maker, bear me witness,

That I was sent for nothing but a rope!

Pinch. Mistress, both man and master is possess'd:

They must be bound, and laid in some dark I know it by their pale and deadly looks:

room.

Ant. E. Say, wherefore didst thou lock me forth to-day,

And why dost thou deny the bag of gold? Adr. I did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth.

Dro. E. And, gentle master, I receiv'd no gold; But I confess, Sir, that we were lock'd out. Adr. Dissembling villain, thou speak'st false in both.

Ant. E. Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all:

To make a loathsome abject scorn of me:
And art confederate with a damned pack,
But with these nails I'll pluck out these false
eyes,

That would behold in me this shameful sport.

(PINCH and his assistants bind ANT. and DROMIO.

Adr. O bind him, bind him, let him not

come near me.

Pinch. More company;-the fiend is strong within him.

Luc. Ah! me, poor man, how pale and wan

he looks!

officer ?

Hast thou delight to see a wretched man
Do outrage and displeasure to himself?

The debt he owes, will be requir'd of me.
Off. He is my prisoner; if I let him go,

Adr. I will discharge thee, ere I go from thee:

Bear me forthwith unto his creditor,
And, knowing how the debt grows, I will pay it.
Good master doctor, see him safe convey'd
Home to my house.-O most unhappy day!
Ant. E. O most unhappy + strumpet !
Dro. E. Master, I am here enter'd in bond

for you.

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The Dramatic Works of William Shakspeare: With Glossarial Notes, a Sketch of ...