me.

Adr. Come, come, no longer will I be a fool, To put the finger in the eye and weep, Whilst man and master, laugh my woes to

scorn.

Come, Sir, to dinner; Dromio, keep the gate :-
Husband, I'll dine above with you to-day,
And shrive you of a thousand idle pranks :
Sirrah, if any ask you for your master,
Say, he dines forth, and let no creature enter.-
Come, sister :-Dromio, play the porter well.
Ant. S. Am I in earth, in heaven, or in hell?
Sleeping or waking? mad, or well-advis'd?
Known unto these, and to myself disguis'd!
I'll say as they say, and perséver so,
And in this mist at all adventures go.

Dro. S. Master, shall I be porter at the gate? Adr. Ay; and let none enter, lest I break your pate.

Luc. Come, come, Antipholus, we dine too [Exeunt.

late.

Ant. E. And welcome more common; for that's nothing but words.

Bal. Small cheer, and great welcome, makes a merry feast.

Ant. E. Ay, to a niggardly host, and more sparing guest; But though my cates be mean, take them in good part; Better cheer may you have, but not with better

heart.

But, soft; my door is lock'd; Go bid them let us in.

Dro. E. Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian, Jen'!

Dro. S. [Within.] Mome, + malt-horse, capon, coxcomb, idiot, patch! Either get thee from the door, or sit down at

the hatch:

Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st for such store,

When one is one too many? Go, get thee from the door.

Dro. E. What patch is made our porter? My master stays in the street.

Dro. S. Let him walk from whence he came, lest he catch cold on's feet.

Ant. E. Who talks within there? ho, open the door.

Dro. S. Right, Sir, I'll tell you when, and you'll tell me wherefore.

Ant. E. Wherefore? for my dinner; I have not din'd to-day.

Dro. S. Nor to day here you must not; come again, when you may.

Ant. E. What art thou, that keep'st me out from the house I owe? §

Dro. S. The porter for this time, Sir, and my name is Dromio.

Dro. E. O villain, thou hast stolen both mine office and my name; The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle

blame.

If thon had'st been Dromio to-day in my place, Thou would'st have chang'd thy face for a name, or thy name for an ass. Luce. [Within.] What a coil is there? Dromio, who are those at the gate ?

Ant. S. Sweet mistress, (what your name is else, I know not,

Nor by what wonder you do hit on mine,) Less, in your knowledge, and your grace, you show not,

Than our earth's wonder; more than earth divine.

Teach me, dear creature, how to think and speak;

Lay open to my earthly gross conceit,
Smother'd in errors, feeble, shallow, weak,
The folded meaning of your word's deceit.
Against my soul's pure truth why labour you,
To make it wander in an unknown field ?
Are you a god? would you create me new?
Transform me then, and to your power I'll
yield.

But if that I am I, then well I know,
Your weeping sister is no wife of mine,
Nor to her bed no homage do I owe;

Far more, far more, to you do I decline.
O train me not, sweet mermaid,

note,

with thy

To drown me in thy sister's flood of tears;
Sing, siren, for thyself, and I will dote :
Spread o'er the silver waves thy golden
hairs,

And as a bed I'll take thee, and there lie;
And in that glorious supposition, think

He gains by death, that hath such means to

die :

Let love, being light, be drowned if she sink! Luc. What, are you mad, that you do reason 507

Ant. S. Not mad, but mated; † how, I do not know.

Luc. It is a fault that springeth from your

eye.

Ant. S. For gazing on your beams, fair sun, being by.

Luc. Gaze where you should, and that will clear your sight.

Ant. S. As good to wink, sweet love, as

look

on night.

Luc. Why call you me love? call my sister

80 ?

Ant. S. Thy sister's sister.

Luc. That's my sister.
Ant. S. No;

It is thyself, mine own self's better part ;
Mine eye's clear eye, my dear heart's dearer
heart;

My food, my fortune, and my sweet hope's aim, My sole earth's heaven, and my heaven's claim." Luc. All this my sister is, or else should be. Ant. S. Call thyself sister, sweet, for I aim thee :

Thee will I love, and with thee lead my life; Thou hast no husband yet, nor I no wife: Give me thy hand.

Luc. O soft, Sir, hold you still; I'll fetch my sister, to get her good will. [Exit Luc. Enter, from the house of ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, DROм10 of Syracuse, Ant. S. Why, how now, Dromio? where run'st thou so fast?

Dro. S. Do you know me, Sir? am I Dromio? am I your man? am I myself?

Ant. S. Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art thyself.

Dro. 8. I am an ass, I am a woman's man, and besides myself. Ant. S. What woman's man? and how besides thyself? Dro. S. Marry, Sir, besides myself, I am due to a woman; one that claims me, one that haunts me, one that will have me.

Ant. S. What claim lays she to thee? Dro. S. Marry, Sir, such claim as you would lay to your horse; and she would have me as a beast; not that I being a beast, she would have

Mermaid for siren.

1 I. e. Confounded,

me; but that she, being a very beastly creature, lays claim to me.

Ant. S. What is she?

Dro. S. A very reverend body; ay, such a one as a man may not speak of, without he say, sir-reverence: I have but lean luck in the match, and yet is she a wondrous fat marriage?

Ant. S. How dost thou mean, a fat marriage'? Dro. S. Marry, Sir, she's the kitchen-wench, and all grease: and I know not what use to put her to, but to make a lamp of her, and run from her by her own light. I warrant, her rags, and the tallow in them, will burn a Poland winter: if she lives till doomsday, she'll burn a week longer than the whole world.

Ant. S. What complexion is she of?

Dro. S. Swart, like my shoe, but her face nothing like so clean kept; For why she sweats, a man may go over shoes in the grime

of it.

Ant. S. That's a fault that water will mend. Dro. S. No, Sir, 'tis in grain; Noah's flood could not do it.

Ant. S. What's her name?

Dro. S. Nell, Sir;-but her name and three quarters, that is, an ell and three quarters, will not measure her from bip to hip.

An S. Then she bears some breadth?

Dro. S. No longer from head to foot, than from hip to bip: She is spherical, like a globe; I could find out countries in her.

Ant. S. In what part of her body stands Ireland?

Dro. S. Marry, Sir, in her buttocks; I found it out by the bogs.

Ant. S. Where Scotland?

Ant. S. Where America, the Indies?

Dro. 8. O Sir, upon her nose, all o'er embellished with rubies, carbuncles, sapphires, declining their rich aspect to the hot breath of Spain; who sent whole armadas of carracks + to be ballast to her nose.

Ant. S. Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands?

Dro. S. O Sir, I did not look so low. To conclude, this drudge, or diviner, laid claim to me; called me Dromio; swore I was assur'd ↑ to her; told me what privy marks I had about me, as the mark on my shoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart on my left arm, that 1, amazed, ran from her as a witch and I think if my breast had not been made of faith, and my heart of steel, she had transformed me to a curtail-dog, and made me turn i'the wheel.

I

Ant. S. Go, hie thee presently, post to the road;

And if the wind blow any way from shore, I will not harbour in this town to-night. If any bark put forth, come to the mart, Where I will walk, till thou return to me. If every one know us, and we know none, 'Tis time I think, to trudge, pack, and be gone.

Dro. S. As from bear a man would run for life.

So fly I from her that would be my wife.

[Erit. Ant. S. There's none but witches do inhabit here;

But neither chain, nor goldsmith came to me: Belike, you thought our love would last too long,

If it were chain'd together; and therefore came not.

Ang. Saving your merry humour, here's the How much your chain weighs to the utmost carat ;

note,

The fineness of the gold, and chargeful fashion;
Which doth amount to three old ducats more
That I stand debted to this gentleman;
I pray you, see him presently discharg'd,
For he is bound to sea, and stays but for it.
Ant. E. I am not furnish'd with the present
money:

Besides, I have some business in the town:
Good signior take the stranger to my house,
And with you take the chain, and bid my wife
Disburse the sum on the receipt thereof;
Perchance, I will be there as soon as you.
Ang. Then you will bring the chain to ber
yourself?

Ant. E. No; bear it with you, lest I come not time enough.

Ang. Well, Sir, I will: Have you the chain about you?

Ant. E. An if I have not, Sir, I hope you have ;

Or else you may return without your money. Ang. Nay, come, I pray you, Sir, give me the chain;

And buy a rope's end; that will I bestow Among my wife and her confederates, For locking me out of my doors by day.But soft, I see the goldsmith :-get thee gone; Buy thou a rope, and bring it home to me. Dro. E. 1 buy a thousand pound a year! buy a rope! [Exit DROMIO. Ant. E. A man is well holp up, that trusts to you; I promised your presence, and the chian; † Accruing.

• A coin.

Both wind and tide stays for this gentleman,
And I, to blame, have held him here too long
Ant. E. Good lord, you use this dalliance, to

excuse

Ant. E. You gave me none, you wrong me much to say so.

Ang. You wrong me more, Sir, in denying it. Consider, how it stands upon my credit.

Mer. Well, officer, arrest him at my snit.
Offi. I do; and charge you in the duke's name
to obey me.

Ang. This touches me in reputation :-
Either consent to pay this sum for me,
Or I attach you by this officer.

Ant. E. Consent to pay thee that I never had! Arrest me, foolish fellow, if thou dar'st.

I would not spare my brother in this case,
Ang. Here is thy fee; arrest him, officer;
If he should scorn me so apparently.

Offi. I do arrest you, Sir; you hear the suit. Ant. E. I do obey thee, till 1 give thee bail:

• I shall.