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We join the iron Barons
Doing that famous deed-
From John at Runnymede.
On Shrewsbury's bloody bounds;
On Hotspur's weeping wounds.
The Red Rose, and the White,
Foaming in Barnet fight.
To royal Windsor ride,
A palfrey at his side.
And prancingly go forth
At stately Kenilworth.
Under the greenwood tree,
And cans clink merrily.
And doughty Robin Hood,
Al feast in green Sherwood.
The collops of the deer,
To crown the woodland cheer.
At coming of the dark,
At singing of the lark;
We hear the abbey chimes-
Of the proud priestly times.
And owe we not these visions
Fresh to the natural eye-
To the good art and bigh-
The maker of the Lays?
Back to the ancient days?
The voices, sweet, and bold,
From the true life of old.
P. P. COOKE.
IN THE LIFE OF
MODEST ASSURANCE; OR, SOME PASSAGES
I had finished my collegiate studies, and modestly waited for the outpourings obtained my degree, and had entered the of his gratitude. law office of an eminent solicitor. The “What is this?” said he hastily, the choice of a profession had occasioned me moment his eye glanced upon it; “ this no little perplexity. For divinity I was is not what I gave you to copy,” unfortunately not qualified, and as to law “ The same, sir, only a little altered and medicine, I regarded them both with and amended.” nearly equal aversion. But there was no “ The fellow's a fool,” he exclaimed, remedy ; I was not one of the silver “ here, Harris, throw this into the tire, and spoons of this world, and to one of the make me out an exact copy of the origi“three black Graces ” I must sacrifice nal; a pretty affair, to suppose that a myself. The legal profession, upon the tyro like you understands these things whole, I considered the least objectiona- better than I do. However, let it pass. ble; for though it has not been inaptly I perceive, young man, you wholly misdefined to be the indiscriminate defence understand the scope end genius of our of right and wrong," and in the success- profession. The first thing to be considful prosecution of it I might lose every ered when a cause is put into your
hands, particle of my virtue—yet still, said I is to what extent you can benefit yourwith a feeling worthy of a Curtius, so letself, and secondly of course, your client. it be: let me become the veriest shark in As most legal documents are remuneratexistence, rather than be guilty of the ed according to their length, your object monstrous hypocrisy of spending my should be to make them as voluminous leisure hours in inventing new diseases, as possible. Whether they are particuand then pretending to go forth into the larly lucid or not, is no affair of yours; world to combat them.
your business being merely to draw them The first incident in my new career -it is for the Judge to understand them. was not a flattering one. A bill in Chan- Were your plan carried out we should cery was put into my hands to copy, but soon all starve, and the profession be on looking it over I was so much struck worse than nothing." with its tedious and unnecessary prolix These hints were not lost upon me, ity, that I resolved at once to alter it. and from that moment there was no more
“ If the Chancellor is a man of sense,” cause for complaint. Every ill-spelled I reasoned, " he will be much more fa- word, and every thumbmark that graced vorably impressed with a straight-for- the original, was duly transferred to the ward, manly exposition of the case, than copy, and I nearly ruined my own fair by such a wretched involved affair as chirography in my hopeless attempts to this, even if it is larded with humble en- rival my employer's precious pot-hooks. treaties to “ his Honor,” and pious and Thus rolled three years away, and the pathetic promises that “ be will ever time arrived when I was to be admitted pray” (for patience for his readers I to the bar. It was a critical period, for I should fain hope); and then the vanity was profoundly ignorant of my profes. and arrogance of styling oneself “your sion, but by the aid of good guessing, and orator” —for surely, if this is a specimen having literally “ a friend at court”-for of the writer's abilities, he is as little en one of the examiners had been an early titled to the epithet as any man living. associate of my father's—I succeeded in However, his early advantages were obtaining my license : and if an unwor. doubtless defective, and I will do him a thy member became attached to the legal good service without his knowing it.” profession, upon others rest the responSo at it I went, and in a short time I cut sibility-not me. off all needless repetitions, put it into fair This important point settled, the next intelligible English, and reduced it from thing to be determined was, what part of eighty to fifty folio, and it was a proud the country should have the benefit of moment when I placed it in his hands my talents; and after boring my friends
“ Is it possible,” said he ; “I knew it “ Wouldn't it be better for me to state was something bad, but I'd no thought it the circumstances,” said his companion was so bad as that.”
soothingly; " it's a leetle difficult to un“ Yes, sir,” I again repeated, “ a case derstand you." of trover as round as a ring.
“ Well, whose fault is it,” said he any suspicions of the culprit ?"
warmly; " the time was when I had as “ Yes, sir, it was Jo Ricks; 1 traced it pretty a handle to my countenance as any to his premises, and can swear to it.” man in Four Corners, but now".
Was it timothy grass,” said I, deter We should much prefer to give the mined to show off a little.
account in Mr. Jakes' own strong and “ Indeed it was, and as pretty a lot of nervous language ; but we live in a fastimothy as ever you set eyes on. I think tidious age, and plain and homespun I ought to know, for I mowed it myself; truths will not be tolerated, unless, like and what with bumble bees and hornets, “sugar-coated pills,” they are daintily I guess I've suffered as much as any man dressed up: therefore, those of my readof my inches. Why, sir," and he looked ers who are interested in nought but tales me appealingly in the face, “I never of elegant distress, had better proceed no mowed a day in my life without being farther. one continued sting from my shoes up The circumstances were briefly these : ward. But as to Jo Ricks, what course Mr. Bruce and my client were attendants do you advise ?”
and rivals at the village singing-school; He must be made to disembogue, so and meeting one day, Mr. Bruce reto speak. I can issue a casa, or a capias, proached the latter with his ignorance or if you feel very inveterate a writ of of the first principles of psalmody, and fieri facias."
with a sad breakdown, which it seems « Ah! that's the thing for my money Mr. Jakes bad made in a certain fuguethat sounds well ; what will it do to him?” ing passage, on a recent public occasion.
“ Hell know, and I'll warrant he'll Such an insult was not to be endured, not make love to other people's timothy and after a few bitter words, they closed again in a hurry."
in mortal combat. There was a short, After considerable more conversation, sharp yell, as of one “o'ermastered in he rather faintly inquired if there was his agony,” and when they were forci. anything to pay; and on my saying a bly separated, my client was found to be retaining fee was usual in such cases, he minus an important feature. Indifferent fished very diligently in either pocket: to his “outward man,” he repudiated but not being able to line anything to the the idea that he lamented it from any surface but a solitary tenpenny piece, I personal considerations, but there was waved the ceremony till" the business one result which came much nearer to should be finally adjusted.
his “ business and bosom." The particThe next day was a stormy one, but it ular sense enshrined in that locality, had did not prevent my friend's making his become, from its exposure, so preternatuappearance, and with him a new candi- rally acute, that certain agricultural dudate for my professional exertions. The ties, (which the classical reader will at face of the new comer was so entirely once understand as those which the heenveloped in a black silk handkerchief, roic Hercules achieved, by turning the that it was impossible to distinguish bis course of a river,) bad become so intolfeatures ; but as his voice was singularly erable to him, that he was " necessitated" nasal and disagreeable, it was but fair to - to use his own words lo relinquish infer that everything about was conform them, and yet he was the least squeamable. A few minutes' conversation con. ish fellow breathing. It is true, a memvinced me that Mr. Jakes was a preity ber of the healing art had kindly offered common specimen of humanity-but he to repair the injury, by substituting a was “a man for a’ that.” The majesty piece of the “ raw material,” cut from of the law had been violated in his per- some other portion of the human frame; son--he had sustained a cruel wrong; but this Mr. Jakes very properly deand it was not for me to flinch because clined, except upon the condition that my clients were not all of them a Sydney the operator should himself furnish the or a Bayard.
piece. Everything was tried, but with. “ Dan Bruce has bit off my nose,” said out success; and he could not consent, any he bluntly, “and I've come to consult you more than the English, to go with his about damages.”
ports open. Fancy noses of putty, sick
ened him, sealing-wax made too showy, view. Suffice it to say, that after much. as well as painful application ; in short, interesting discussion we separated, and he was driven to his wit's end, to know I hastened to acquaint myself with the how he should live the allotted period of pains and penalties attached to the crime existence, with any degree of comfort or of mayhem. To make out my brief was decency to himself. “ But,” said he, the work of a moment, and recollecting “revenge is sweet, if this world is not that the famous Grecian orator was in and Dan Bruce shall smart for it,” and the habit of perfecting himself by prihence his earnest question, if the law vate rehearsals, I resolved to follow his afforded any remedy.
example. My arm-chair figured as judge, “ Most assuredlý it does,” said I;“ the and the remaining five as jurymen; and law is made, not to prevent crime, but to fixing my eyes on a large knothole which punish it after it is committed ; and here blazed in the forehead of the foreman, I is a striking allusion to your case, in one commenced with hundred and two, Blackstone.
16 • Facilis descensus Averni. Sed re “ Gentlemen of the Jury: vocare gradum, hoc opes, hic labor est,' “When I consider that I am about to which may be thus translated : It is an address such an array of talent and learneasy thing to bite off a nose; but when ing, I well may tremble at my youth and you come to replace it, here is the trouble, inexperience; but strong in the justice of here is the perplexity. The first thing to my cause, I feel that I could brave the be considered is, in what way was the assembled universe. Gentlemen, my climember lopped from its parent stem? ent is well known to you. You all reWere the mere point taken off, such are member when he rejoiced in the usual the recuperative powers of nature, that complement of features—but now, how is in due time it would be restored again, it? Alas ! an aching, aching void ! You and you would be entitled to compensa. have heard the sickening detail of crime, tion only for the loss of its services; but but permit me to recapitulate it. Fatigued were it torn up absolutely by the roots, with his rural duties, my client strolls so to speak, you might claim exemplary forth— his custom always in the after. damages; but in either case, the amount noon'- and meets his pseudo friend. would be regulated something by its size Learners of the same gamut, warblers and general comeliness," and I appealed from the same singing-book, one would to Mr. Nubbins, as a disinterested witness have thought their souls would be aton that point. Mr. Nubbins talked very tuned to harmony —but no! (what a sensibly on the subject, and said the act comment on the power of song !") the was less justifiable, from the fact that it defendant derisively inquires if he has was not one of those prying, inquisitive yet been able to find the mi ? Gentlenoses, that go poking about into other men, if to be ignorant of this great sepeople's concerns, and also from the mode cret of psalmody is a crime, then is the in which it was done: that had he made humble individual who now addresses a clean sweep of it, the offence could you, then was that ornament of the have been borne; but that he had per- English bar, the great Lord Eldon, most formed it in so jagged and unfeeling a guilty, for to him was the science of mumanner, that it was evident that it would sic as a sealed book. “Touch my honor never close up handsomely. As to its and you touch my life! The soul of appearance, it was of the class called valor and of knightly courage—and feel. bottle, and might weigh half an ounceing a stain like a wound what does
my client do? Casting the imputation Mr. Jakes said, from its not being a back into his teeth, they close in a deadmarketable commodity, it was difficult to ly embrace. They fall-he is beneath. form an estimate of its value, but he Talk of guardian angels! it is all a hum, should think it was, at least, worth a for if 'twere not, they would have resdollar! he had always considered them cued him in his hour of peril. That unas useful in wearing spectacles and snuff- guarded moment the caitiff seizes to taking, but he had never known its worth make a snap at my client's hapless vistill he had lost it, thus verifying the re age; and he rises mangled, bereavedmark of the poet, Those blessings and to sum up all, in his own expressive brighten as they take their flight.” language
ville.' There was a pang I will not fatigue my readers, by de- sharpa
mpent's tooth,' and the tailing all the particulars of the inter- deer'