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Irreverent mockery of the genuflexions
Inculcated by the arch-priest, have been whipt
Into a loyal and an orthodox whine.
Things being in this happy state, the Queen
A loud cry from the Pigs. She is innocent! most innocent!
Purganar. That is the very thing that I was saying,
Gentlemen swine; the Queen Iona being
Most innocent, no doubt, returns to Thebes,
And the lean sows and boars collect about her,
Wishing to make her think that we believe
(I mean those more substantial pigs, who swill
Rich hog-wash, while the others mouth damp straw,)
That she is guilty ; thus, the lean pig faction
Seeks to obtain that hog.wash, which has been
Your immemorial right, and which I will
Maintain you in to the last drop of-
A Boar (interrupting him).
Does any one accuse her of ?
Why, no one
Makes any positive accusation ;-but
There were hints dropped, and so the priry wizards
Conceived that it became them to advise
His majesty to investigate their truth ;-
Not for his own sake; he could be content
To let his wife play any pranks she pleased,
If, by that sufferance, he could please the pigs ;
But then he fears the morals of the swine,
The sows especially, and what effect
It might produce upon the purity and
Religion of the rising generation
Of sucking-pigs, if it could be suspected
Tbat Queen lona-
[A pause First Boar.
Well, go on; we long
To hear what she can possibly have done.
Purganax. Why, it is hinted, that a certain bull
Thus much is known :the milk-white bulls that feed
Beside Clitumnus and the crystal lakes
Of the Cisalpine mountains, in fresh dews
Of lotus-grass and blossoming asphodel,
Sleeking their silken hair, and with sweet breath
Loading the morning winds until they faint
With living fragrance, are so beautiful !-
Well, I say nothing ;-but Europa rode
On such a one from Asia into Crete,
And the enamoured sea grew calm beneath
His gliding beauty. And Pasiphae,
Iona’s grandmother,- but she is innocent!
And that both you and I, and all assert.
First Boar. Most innocent!
Behold this Bag; a bagSecond Boar. Oh! no GREEN Bags !! Jealousy's eyes are green, Scorpions are green, and water-snakes, and efts, And verdigris, and Purganax.
Honourable swine, In piggish souls can prepossessions reign ? Allow me to remind you, grass is greenAll flesh is grass ;-no bacon but is fleshYe are but bacon. This divining BAG (Which is not green, but only bacon colour) Is filled with liquor, which if sprinkled o'er A woman guilty of—we all know whatMakes her so hideous, till she finds one blind, She never can commit the like again. If innocent, she will turn into an angel, And rain down blessings in the shape of comfits As she flies up to heaven. Now, my proposal Is to convert her sacred majesty Into an angel, (as I am sure we shall do,) By pouring on her head this mystic water. [Showing the Bag. I know that she is innocent; I wish Only to prove her so to all the world.
First Boar. Excellent, just, and noble Purganax!
Second Boar. How glorious it will be to see her majesty
Flying above our heads, her petticoats
But like a standard of an admiral's ship,
Or like the banner of a conquering host,
Or like a cloud dyed in the dying day,
Unravelled on the blast from a white mountain ;
Or like a meteor, or a war-steed's mane,
Or water-fall from a dizzy precipice
Scattered upon the wind.
Or a cow's tail,
Second Boar. Or any thing, as the learned boar observed.
Purganax. Gentlemen boars, I move a resolution,
That her most sacred majesty should be
Invited to attend the feast of Famine,
And to receive upon her chaste white body
Dews of Apotheosis from this Bag.
[A great confusion is heard of the Pigs out of Doors, which
communicates itself to those within. During the first
Strophe, the doors of the Sty are staved in, and a number
of exceedingly lean Pigs and Sows and Boars rush in.
Porkers, we shall lose our wash,
Or must share it with the lean pigs !
Order! order! be not rash!
Was there ever such a scene, pigs !
AN OLD Sow (rushing in).
I never saw so fine a dash
Since I first began to wean pigs.
SECOND BOAR (solemnly).
The Queen will be an angel time enough.
I vote, in form of an amendment, that
Purganax rub a little of that stuff
Upon his face-
Purganax. (His heart is seen to beat through waistcoat. Gods 1 What would ye be at?
Purganax has plainly shown a
Cloven foot and jack-daw feather.
I vote Swellfoot and Iona
Try the magic test together ;
Whenever royal spouses bicker,
Both should try the magic liquor.
AN OLD BOAR (aside).
A miserable state is that of pigs,
For if their drivers would tear caps and wigs,
The swine must bite each other's ear therefore.
AN OLD Sow (aside).
A wretched lot Jove has assigned to swine,
Squabbling makes pig-herds hungry, and they dine
On bacon, and whip sucking-pigs the more.
Hog-wash has been ta'en away:
If the Bull-Queen is divested,
We shall be in every way
Hunted, stript, exposed, molested;
Let us do whate'er we may,
That she shall not be arrested.
QUEEN, we entrench you with walls of braw
And palisades of tusks, sharp as a bayonet :
Place your most sacred person here. We pawa
Our lives that none a finger dare to lay on it.
Those who wrong you, wrong us;
Those who hate you, hate us ;
Those who sting you, sting us;
Those who bait you, bait us ;
The oracle is now about to be
Fulfilled by circumvolving destiny ;
Which says: “Thebes, choose reform or civil war,
When through your streets, instead of hare with dogs, A CONSORT-QUEEN shall hunt a King with hogs, Riding upon the Ionian MINOTAUR.”
Enter IonA TAURINA. lona Taurina (coming forward). Gentlemen swine, and
The tender heart of every boar acquits
Their QUEEN, of any act incongruous
With native piggishness, and she reposing
With confidence upon the grunting nation,
Has thrown herself, her cause, her life, her all,
Her innocence, into their hoggish arms;
Nor has the expectation been deceived
Of finding shelter there. Yet know, great boars,
(For such who ever lives among you finds you,
And so do I) the innocent are proud!
I have accepted your protection only
In compliment of your kind love and care,
Not for necessity. The innocent
Are safest there where trials and dangers wait;
Innocent Queens o'er white-hot plough-shares tread
Unsinged ; and ladies, Erin's laureate sings it, *
Decked with rare gems, and beauty rarer still,
Walked from Killarney to the Giant's Causeway,
Through rebels, smugglers, troops of yeomanry,
White boys, and orange-boys, and constables,
Tithe-proctors, and excise people, uninjured!
Lord PURGANAX, I do commit myself
Into your custody, and am prepared
To stand the test, whatever it may be !
Purganax. This magnanimity in your sacred majesty
Must please the pigs. You cannot fail of being
A heavenly angel. Smoke your bits of glass,
Ye loyal swine, or her transfiguration
Will blind your wondering eyes.
An Old Boar (aside).
Take care, my lord,
They do not smoke you first.
At the approaching feast
Of Famine, let the expiation be.
• “Rich and rare were the gems she wore."
See Moore's Irish Melodin
Swine. Content! content!
Iona Taurina (aside). I, most content of all,
Know that my foes even thus prepare their fall!
SCENE II.—The interior of the Temple of FAMINE. The statue of
the Goddess, a skeleton clothed in party-coloured rags, seated upon a neap of skulls and loaves intermingled. A number of exceedingly fat Priests in black garments arrayed on each side. with marrow-bones and cleavers in their hands. A flourish of
trumpets. Enter MAMMON as Arch-priest, SWELLFOOT, DAKRY, PURGANAX,
LAOctonos, followed by Iona TAURINA guarded. On the other side enter the Swine.
CHORUS OF PRIESTS,
Accompanied by the Court Porkman on marrow-bones and cleavers.
Goddess bare, and gaunt, and pale,
Empress of the world, all haili
What though Cretans old called thee
City-crested Cybele ?
We call thee FAMINE!
Goddess of fasts and feasts, starving and cramming;
Through thee, for emperors, kings, and priests and lords,
Who rule by viziers, sceptres, bank-notes, words,
The earth pours forth its plenteous fruits,
Corn, wool, linen, flesh, and roots-
Those who consume these fruits through thee grow fat
Those who produce these fruits through thee grow lean, Whatever change takes place, oh, stick to that!
And let things be as they have ever been;
At least while we remain thy priests,
And proclaim thy fasts and feasts !
Through thee the sacred SWELLFOOT dynasty
Is based upon a rock amid that sea
Whose waves are swine-s0 let it ever be !
(SWELLFOOT, &c., seat themselves at a table magnificently
covered at the upper end of the temple. Attendants pass
over the stage with hog-wash in pails. A number of Pigs,
exceedingly lean, follow them licking up the wash.
Mammon. I fear your sacred majesty has lost
The appetite which you were used to have.
Allow me now to recommend this dish-
A simple kickshaw by your Persian cook,
Such as is served at the great King's second table.