his feelings, and appear with perfect ease after so painful an accident. The cheerfulness of her ladyship, and the familiar chat of the young ladies, insensibly led me to throw off my reserve and sheepishness; 'til at length I ventured to join in conversation, and even to start fresh subjects. The library being richly furnished with books in elegant bindings, I conceived sir Thomas to be a man of literature, and ventured to give my opinion concerning the several editions of the Greek classics, in which the baronet's opinion exactly coincided with my own. To this subject I was led by observing an edition of Xenophon in sixteen volumes, which (as I had never before heard of such a thing), greatly excited my curiosity, and I rose up to examine what it could be; sir Thomas saw what I was about, and (as I supposed), willing to save me trouble, rose to take down the book, which made me more eager to prevent him; and hastily laying my hand on the first volume, I pulled it forcibly, but lo! instead of books, a board, which by leather and gilding had been made to look like so many volumes, came tumbling down, and unluckily pitched upon a wedgewood ink-stand on the table under it. In vain did sir Thomas assure me there was no harm; I saw the ink streaming from an inlaid table on the Turkey carpet, and scarcely knowing what I did, attempted to stop its progress with my cambric handkerchief. In the height of this confusion, we were informed that dinner was served up; and I with joy perceived that the bell, which at first had so alarmed my fears was only the half-hour dinner bell. In walking through the hall, and suit of apartments to the dining-room I had time to collect my scattered senses, and was desired to take my seat betwixt lady Friendly and her cldest daughter, at the table. Since the fall of the wooden Xenophon, my face had been continually burning like a fire-brand, and I was just beginning to recover myself, and feel comfortably cool, when an unlooked-for accident rekindled all my heat and blushes.-Having set my plate of soup too near the edge of the table, in bowing to Miss Dinah, who politely complimented me on the pattern of my waistcoat, I tumbled the whole scalding contents into my lap: in spite of an immediate supply of napkins to wipe the surface of my clothes, my black silk breeches were not stout enough to save me from the painful effects of the sudden fomentation, and for some minutes my legs and thighs seemed stewing in a boiling cauldron but recollecting how sir Thomas had disguised his torture when I trode upon his toe, I firmly bore my pain in silence, and sat with my lower extremities parboiled, amidst the stifled giggling of the ladies and servants. : I will not relate the several blunders I made during the first course, or the distress occasioned by my being desired to carve a fowl, or help to various dishes that stood near me, spilling a butter-boat, and knocking down a salt-cellar,-rather let me hasten to the second course, where fresh disasters overwhelmed me quite. I had a piece of rich sweet pudding on my fork when Miss Louisa Friendly begged to trouble me for a pidgeon that stood near me, in my haste, scarce knowing what I did, I whipped it into my mouth, hot as a burning coal: it was impossible to conceal my agony, my eyes were starting from their sockets at last in spite of shame or reso❤ lution, I was obliged to drop the cause ¦ of torment on my plate. Sir Thomas A and the ladies all compassioned my 1^1^ misfortune, and each advised a differ ent application; one recommended 37 oil, another water, but all agreed that wine was best for drawing out the fire how much I feel on the occasion, they will spare a BASHFUL MAN. FROM THE NORTH GEORGIA GAZETTE. To the EDITOR of the Winter Chronicle. In performance of the promise made to you and your readers in your last Number but one, I continue my account of the several annoyances by which our tables have been long visited; and I beg at the same time to offer you my acknowledgments for the part you have taken towards their eradication, by inserting a letter of such unconscionable length as my last, in your Gazette. The class standing next upon my list is that of the Snorers, who are upon the whole, so inoffensive a set, that it almost goes to my heart to hold them up to public notice. There is, moreover, some danger, lest by doing any might also be prevented from sleeping; and this would be an irreparable injury to our community, because, whilst in this state, they are certainly much less an To release me from the intolerable state of perspiration which this accident had caused, without considering what I did, I wiped my face with that ill-thing to break them of snoring, they fated handkerchief which was still wet from the consequences of the fall of Xenophon, and covered my features with streaks of ink in every direction. The Baronet himself could not sup-noyance to us than when wide awake; port this shock, but joined his lady in the general laugh, while I sprang from the table in despair, rushed out of the house, and ran home in an agony of confusion and disgrace, which the most poignant sense of guilt could not have excited. Thus without having deviated from the path of moral rectitude, I am suffering torments like a goblin damned; the lower half of me has been almost boiled, my tongue and mouth grilled, and I bear the mark of Cain on my forehead, yet these are but trifling considerations to the everlasting shame I must feel whenever this adventure shall be mentioned, perhaps by your assistance when my neighbours know for you must know, Mr. Editor, that these same snorers, as soon as they open their eyes, are generally converted, as if by magic, into hummers or drummers, or some other of the noisy classes I have before described. Rather, therefore, than be the means of robbing our tables of one hour's quiet during the day, by finding fault with so laudable a practice as that of sleeping, I shall dismiss this part of the subject with expressing a hope that some means may be suggested of teaching these gentlemen to sleep without snoring. Perhaps it might be of some service to have attached to each of them a flapper, such as we are told by Gulliver, the great people in Laputa have. I dare say the marines could easily be trained to this: they should be instructed to give them a good smart box on the ear at every snore, and then to smooth them down, to re-compose them to sleep, taking particular care, which a few days practice would enable them to do, to make them feel pretty sharply, but by no means to run the risk of absolutely awakening them. I now come to the Sniffers, who by some means or other, have got out of their place in my catalogue, as they ought to have followed the Blowers; because, like those, the offence they give is chiefly by the nose. They are, however, in one essential point, the very reverse of the Blowers; because, whereas these last are always using their pocket-handkerchiefs, the Sniffers never use any, but perform the same office more economically, more frequently, and I must in justice add, with less disturbance to others than those tremendous Conch-Blowers. The Sniffers have been observed to increase very much since the last cold weather set in, and there is, perhaps, some excuse for them; but I do hereby give notice that all Sniffing, after the 10 of March must be considered absolutely inadmissible; and the Sniffers are hereby required, in the mean time to provide themselves with a proper number of handkerchiefs, and to blow their noses like gentlemen, after that date, on pain of being posted for the non performance of the same in the succeeding week's newspaper. Next in order on my list I find the Slammers, or as my correspondent X. has denominated, them the DoorSlammers. These, Mr. Editor, are indeed as Mr. X. has expressed it, "a daily and hourly inconvenience."But alas! what chance can any effort of mine have of correcting this noisy practise, when even a civil request, publicly made by the commander of the expedition to have mercy on his own door, and the adjoining bulk-heads, has not yet had any perceptible effect? It is not necessary for me to explain in what the art of the Slammers consists, for the word must at once convey to our minds, what our ears are so constantly in the habit of experiencing. But there are some circumstances attending the practise of this art, which my constant observation has made me acquainted with, and which you, readers will, upon trial, find to be correct. It may be relied on as an incontrovertible fact, that the force with which the Slammers shut the doors, is intended by them, as by the Bangers, to announce their arrival; for without some such means, so important an event might possibly remain unnoticed, and for this they would never forgive themselves. Some of the more inveterate of this class, after they have slammed the door with becoming energy, on entering stand awhile to assure themselves that all hands are made aware of their coming; and then, and not till then, complacently take their seats. It has often been remarked, Mr. Editor, that little people are more consequential than those who are taller. Whether this be the case or not, I will not pretend to determine; but certain I am that, with very few exceptions, the great people of our community slam the doors the hardest, and the little great people the hardest of all. Indeed so exactly proportional have I generally found the slam of the door to be to the size of the person, and according to the popular notion, to his consequence also, that I would be bound to guess a man's height within an inch or so, by the manner in which he shuts the door. Perhaps, if you knew my own size, you would allow that I have, in the following description, sacrifised all personal feeling to * a sense of justice and truth. Your King-John's man, commonly said to measure four feet nothing, enters with a tremendous slam,-like Jove he carries his thunder about with him! A neat dapper little fellow of five feet three or four inches makes the bulkheads quake again, and what is even worse, by his ill-managed violence, causes the door to re-open, so that he stuns and freezes you at the same time. As we get to five feet six, and from that to five feet ten, the doors are shut more moderately; and a decent sized fellow, of near six feet or upwards, even of considerable consequence, may go in and out of an apartment and scarcely be heard. I know of one way, and only one, in which the Slammers can possibly be cured of their habit. I have heard of a dog having been broke of worrying a cat by muzzling him, and then letting pussy scratch his nose in security. My recipe for the Slammers is of the same kind. Let their heads be securely and closely tied to the most rattling door in either ship, then let two stqut men, one on each side, be employed for an hour in opening and shutting the door as often and as hard as they are able. If this dose taken three times a day, for one week, does not cure the most inveterate case in the history of this discase, the Slammers may indeed be pronounced incorrigible. I now come to the Growlers, a very teasing class, of whom I had a good deal to say, but I find I have been anticipated by a more satyrical writer in your last gazette, who took occasion to descant on this subject, when, lamentable to relate! the pies on board the Hecla, were not cooked in time for dinner. As your correspondent, "A Spectator," may have it in contemplation to resume this fertile subject at a future time, I shall very willingly leave it in his hands, and as I proper fancy you and your readers will begi to think I am growing tedious, I shall reserve the remainder of my list to some other time; and I assure you I have yet a choice collection. By way of reporting progress on my last communication, I shall only at present add that one Nose-Blower has been reclaimed; but another is as bad as ever. I have heard two Whistlers stifle their tunes in the middle, and they may therefore be said to be half corrected in their habit. The Bangers all laugh at my joke; but one of the principal of them does not put the cap on his own head, for which it was chiefly intended. Να amendment is yet perceived in the Hummers or Drummers, and I therefore give notice to the said Hummers and Drummers, that as they are unanimiously declared to be the greatest pests, except the Slammers, which our tables have, they must either mend their manners, or expect to be handled more severely in some future communication, it is the only spot sheltered from the bitter wind, which I suppose he thought was too great an indulgence. But I do not give ayself any uneasiness about it, as when a man's time is come, he must go.' I took the liberty of asking if he was a predestinarian. 'Yes,' replied Napoleon, as much so as the Turks are. I have been always so. When destiny wills, it must be obeyed. Asked him some questions about Blucher. Blucher,' said he, is a very brave soldier. He is like a bull who shuts his eyes, and, seeing no danger, rushes on.He committed a thousand faults, and had it not been for circumstances, I could repeatedly have made him and the greatest part of his army prisoners. He is stubborn and indefatigable, afraid of nothing, and very much attached to his country; but, as a general, he is without talent. I recollect, that when I was in Prussia, he dined at my table after he had surrendered, and he was then considered to be an ordinary character.' Speaking about the English soldiers, he observed, the English soldier is brave, nobody more so, and the officers generally men of honor, but I do not think them yet capable of executing grand manoeuvres.I think that if I were at the head of them, I could make them do any thing.' gave Napoleon thus his opinion, on the comparative merit of the Russians, Prussians, and Germans : men.' When Mr. O. M. was conversing with B. in his bath, the marks of two wounds were shown to him.: 6 One a very deep cicatrice above the left knee, which he said he had received in his first campaign of Italy, and was of so serious a nature, that the surgeons were in doubt whether it might not be ultimately necessary to amputate. He observed, that when he was wounded it was always kept a secret, in order not to discourage the soldiers. The other was on the toe, and had been received at Eckmuhl. At the siege of Acre,' continued he, a shell thrown by Sydney Smith, fell at my feet. Two soldiers who were close by, seized, and closely embraced me, one in front and the other on one side, and made a rampart of their bodies for me, against the effect of the shell, which exploded, and overwhelmed us with sand. We sunk into the hole formed by its bursting; one of them was wounded. I made them both officers. One has since lost a leg at Moscow, and commanded at Vincennes when I left Paris. When he was summoned by the Russians, he replied, that as soon as they sent him back the leg he had lost at Moscow, he would surrender the fortress. Many times in my life,' continued he, have I been saved by soldiers and officers throwing themselves before me when I was in the most eminent danger. me. At Arcola, when I was advancing, Col. Meuron, my aid-de-camp, threw himself 'Soldiers change, sometimes brave, some- before me, covered me with his body, and times base. I have seen the Russians at Ey-received the wound which was destined for lau perform prodigies of valor: they were so many heroes. At Moscow, entrenched up to their necks, they allowed me to beat 250,000 men with 90,000. At Jena, and at other battles in that campaign, the Prussians fled like sheep; since that time they have fought bravely. My opinion is, that now, the Prussian soldier is superior to the Austrian. The French cuirassiers were the best cavalry in the world. Individually, there is no horseman superior, or perhaps equal, to the Mameluke; but they cannot act in a body. As partizans, the Cossacs excel, and the Poles as lancers.' This he said in re ply to a question made by me of his opinion relative to the cavalry. I asked who he thought was the best generál amongst the Austrians. Prince Charles,' he replied, though he has committed a thousand faults. As to Schwartzemberg, he is not fit to command 6000 He fell at my feet, and his blood spouted up in my face. He gave his life to preserve mine. Never yet, I believe, has there been such devotion shown by soldiers as mine have manifested for me. In all my misfortunes, never has the soldier, even when expiring, been wanting to me -never has man been served more faithfully by his troops, With the last drop of blood gushing out of their veins, they exclaimed, Vive l'Empereur !' To the restrictions, which Sir Hudson Lowe thought it necessary to place on B. and his attendants at Longwood, may be ascribed the abuse which they lavished on him, and which Mr, O'M. seems by no means inclined to soften. No man, however, who is in possession of his senses, can for a moment |