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Hol. He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his argument. I abhor such phanatical phantasms, such infociable and point-devise companions ; such rackers of orthography, as do speak dout fine, when he should say doubt ; det, when he should pronounce debt ; d, e, b, t; not d, e, t: he clepeth a calf, cauf: half, hauf: neighbour vocatur rebour; neigh abbreviated ne : this is abominable, which we would call abhominable : (30) it insinuateth me of Infanie : Ne intelligis, Domine, to make frantick, lue natick?
Nath. Laus deo, bone, intelligo.
Hol. Bone? bone, for benè ; Priscian a little scratch'd ; 'twill serve.
Enter Armado, Moth and Costard.
(30) It infinuateth me of infamy: Nè intelligis, Domine, to make frantick, lunatick? Nath. Laus Deo, bene intelligo.
Hol. Bome boon for boon Prescian; a little. Scratch, 'twill serve.) This Play is certainly none of the best in it self, but the Editors have been so very happy in making it worse by their Indolence, that they have left me Augeas's Stable to cleause: and a Man had need have the Strength of a Hercules to heave out all their Rubbish. But to Business; Why should Infamy be explain'd by making frantick, lunatick? It is plain and obvious that the Poet intended, the Pedant should coin an uncouth affected Word here, infanie, from infania of the Latines. Then, what a piece of unintelligible Jargon have these learned Criticks given us for Latine? I think, I may venture to affirm, I have restor'd the Passage to its true Purity.
Nath. Laus Deo, bone, intelligo. The Curae, addressing with Complaisance his brother Pedant, says, bone, to him, as we frequently in Terence find bone Vir; but the Pedant thinking, he had mistaken the Adverb, thus descants on it.
-bone for benė, Priscian a little fcratch'd:'will serves Alluding to the common Phrase, Diminuis Prisciani caput, apply'd to such as speak fallo Latine.
Arm. Men of Peace, well encountred.
Moth. They have been at a great feast of languages, and stole the scraps.
Coft. O, they have liv'd long on the Alms-basket of words. I marvel, thy master hath not eaten thee for a word; for thou art not so long by the head as honori. ficabilitudinitatibus: thou art easier swallow'd than a flap-dragon.
Moth. Peace, the peal begins.
Moth. Yes, yes, he teaches boys the horn-book : What is A B spelt backward with a horn on his head ?
Hol. Ba, pueritia, with a horn added.
Moth. Ba, most filly sheep, with a horn. You hear his learning
Hol. Quis, quis, thou consonant ?
Moth. The third of the five vowels, if you repeat them ; or the fifth, if I. (31)
Hol. I will repeat them, a, e, I.
Arm. Now by the falt wave of the Mediterraneum, a sweet touch, a quick venew of wit ; snip, snap, quick and home; it rejoiceth my intellect; true wit.
Moth. Offer'd by a child to an old man: which is wit-old.
Hol. What is the figure? what is the figure ?"
(31) The last of the five Vowels, if you repeat them; or the fifth if 1: Hol. I will repeat them, a, e, I. Moth. The Sheep: the other two concludes it out.] Wonderful Sagacity again! All the Editions agree in this Reading;. but is not the last, and the fifth, the same Vowel? Tho' my Correction restores but a poor Conundrum, yet if ic restores the Poet's Meaning the Duty of an Editor to trace him in
whip about your infamy (32) circùm circà; a gigg of a cuckold's horn.
Cof. An' I had but one penny in the world, thout shouldit have it to buy ginger-bread ; hold, there is the very remuneration I had of thy master, thou halfpenny purse of wit, thou pidgeon-egg of discretion. O, that the heav'ns were fo pleased, that thou wert but my bastard! what a joyful father wouldst thou make me? go to, thou haft it ad dunghill; at the fingers' ends, as they say,
Hol. Oh,'I smell false latine, dunghill for unguem.
Arm. Arts-man, preambula ; we will be fingled from the barbarous. Do you not educate youth at the chargehouse on the top of the mountain ?
Hol. Or, Mons the hill.
Arm. Sir, it is the King's most sweet pleasure and affection, to congratulate the Princess at her Pavilion, in the posteriors of this day, which the rude multitude call the afternoon.
Hol. The posterior of the day, most generous Sir, is liable, congruent, and measurable for the afternoon : the word is well cull'd, choice, sweet, and apt, I do assure you, Sir, I do assure.
Arm. Sir, the King is a noble gentleman, and my fa. miliar ; I do assure ye, my very good friend ; for what is inward between us, let it pass I do beseech thee, remember thy curtesie I beseech thee, apparel thy head, and
and most serious designs, and of great import indeed too but let that pafs : for I must tell thee, it will please bis Grace
his loweft Conceits. By, O, U, Moth would mean Oh, You. --- i. e. You are the Sheep Atill, either way; no Matcer, which of Us repeats them.
(32) I will whip about your Infamy unum cita ; ] Here again all the Editions give us Jargon instead of Latine. But Moih would certainly mean, circúm circà : i. e. about and about : sho' it may be desiga'd, he should mistake the Terms,
(by the world) sometime to lean upon my poor shoulder, and with his royal finger thus dally with my excrement, with my mustachio; but sweet heart, let that pass. By the world, I recount no fable ; fome certain special honours it pleaseth his Greatness to impart to Armado, a foldier, a man of travel, that hath seen the world; but let that pass
all of all is but sweet heart, I do implore secrecy that the King would have me present the Princess (sweet chuck) with some delightful oftentation, or show, or pageant, or antick, or fire-work. Now, understanding that the Curate and your sweet self are good at such eruptions, and sudden breaking out of mirth, (as it were) I have acquainted you withal, to the end to crave your assistance.
Hol. Sir, you shall present before her the nine Worthies. Sir, as concerning some entertainment of time, some show in the posterior of this day, to be rendred by our asliftants at the King's command, and this most gallant, illustrate and learned gentleman, before the Princess : I say, none so fit as to present the nine Worthies.
Nath. Where will you find men worthy enough to present them?
Hol. fua, your self; this gallant man, Judas Macabeus ; this fwain (because of his great limb or joint) thall pass Pompey the great ; and the page, Hercules
. Arm. Pardon, Sir, error: he is not quantity enough for that Worthy's thumb; he is not so big as the end of his club
Hol. Shall I have audience ? he shall present Hercules in minority: his Enter and Exit shall be strangling a snake; and I will have an apology for that purpose.
Moth. An excellent device : for if any of the au. dience hiss, you may cry; “ well done, Hercules, now • thou crushest the snake ;” that is the way to make an offence gracious, tho* few have the grace to do it.
Arm. For the rest of the Worthies,
Hol. We attend.
Arm. We will have, if this fadge not, an Antick. I beseech you, follow.
Hol. Via! good-man Dull, thou haft spoken no word all this while.
Dull. Nor understood none neither, Sir.
Dull. I'll make one in a dance, or fo: or I will play on the taber to the Worthies, and let them dance the hay. Hel. Most dull, honest, Dull, to our Sport away.
SCENE, before the Princess's Pavilion.
Enter Princess, and Ladies.
Rof. Madam, came nothing else along with That?
Rof. That was the way to make his God-head wax, For he hath been five thousand years a boy.
Cath. Ay, and a shrewd unhappy gallows too.
Cath. He made her melancholy, fad and heavy,
light word? Carh. A light condition, in a beauty dark,