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Bene. When I know the gentleman, I'll tell him what
Beat. Do, do, he'll but break a comparison or two on me; which, peradventure, not mark’d, or not laugh'd at, strikes him into melancholy, and then there's a partridge wing fav’d, for the fool will eat no fupper that night. We must follow the leaders.
[Mufick within. Bene. In every good thing.
Beat. Nay, if they lead to any ill, I will leave them at the next turning.
[Exeunt.. Manent John, Borachio, and Claudio. John. Sure, my brother is amorous on Hero, and. hath withdrawn her father to break with him about it: the ladies follow her, and but one visor remains.
Bora. And that is Claudio; I know him by his Bear. ing:
John. Are you not. Signior Benedick?
John. Signior, you are very near my brother in his love, he is enamour’d on Hero; I pray you, diffuade him from her, she is no equal for his birth; you may do the part of an honest man in it.
Claud. How know ye, he loves her ?
Bora. So did I too, and he swore he would marry her to night. John. Come, let us to the banquet;
[Exeunt John and Bor.'. Claud. Thus answer I in name of Benedick, But hear this ill news with the ears of Claudio. 'Tis certain so, the Prince wooes for himself. Friendship is constant in all other things, Save in the office and affairs of love ; Therefore all hearts in love use their own tongues, Let every eye negotiate for it self, And trust no agent; beauty is a witch, Against whofe charms faith melteth into blood... This is an accident of hourly proof, Which I miftrusted not. Farewel then, Hero!
Enter Benedick.. Bene. Count Claudio ? Claud. Yea, the fame. Bene. Come, will you go with me? Claud. Whither? Bene. Even to the next willow, about your own bufi-ness, Count. What fashion will you: wear the garland of?. about your neck, like an Usurer's chain? or under your arm, like a Lieutenant's scarf? you must wear it one way, for the Prince hath got your Hero.
Claud. I wish him Joy of her.
Bene. Why, that's spoken like an honest drover ; fo. they fell bullocks : but did you think, the Prince would. have served you thus ?. Claud. I
pray you, leave Bene. Ho! now you strike like the blind man ; 'twas the boy that stole your meat, and you'll beat the Poft.
Claud. If it will not be, I'll leave you. [Exit.
Bene. Alas, poor hurt fowle! now will he creep into fedges. But, that my Lady Beatrice should know me, and not know me! the Prince's fool! ha? it may be, I go
under that Title, because I am merry ; yea, but so I am apt to do my self wrong: I am not so reputed. It is the base (tho' bitter) difpofition of Beatrice, that puts the World into her person, and so gives me out; well, I'll be reveng'd as I may.
Enter Don Pedro.. Pedro. Now, Signior, where's the Count ? did you see him?
Bene. Troth, my lord, I have play'd the part of lady Fame. I found him here as melancholy as a lodge in a warren, I told him (and I think, told him true) that your Grace had got the Will of this young lady, and I offer'd him my company to a willow tree, either to make him a garland, as being forsaken, or to bind him up a sod, as being worthy to be whipt.
Pedro. To be whipt! what's his fault ?
being overjoy'd with finding a bird's nest, thews it his companion, and he fteals it.
Pedro. Wilt thou make a trust, a transgrellion ? the transgression is in the stealer.
Bene. Yet it had not been amiss, the rod had been made, and the garland too; for the garland he might have worn himlelf, and the rod he might have beftow'd on you, who (as I take it) have ftol'n his bird's neft.
Pedro. I will but teach them' to fing, and restore them to the owner.
Bene. If their singing answer your saying, by my faith, you say honestly.
Pedro. The lady Beatrice hath' a quarrel to you; the gentleman, that danc'd with her, told her she is much wrong'd by you.
Bene. O, ihe misus'd me past the indurance of a block; an oak, but with one green leaf on it, would have' anfwer'd her ; my very visor began to assume life, and fcold with her, she told me, not thinking I had been my self, that I was the Prince's jefter, and that I was duller than a great thaw ; (6) hudling jest upon jest, with such impassable conveyance upon me, that I ftood like a man' at a' mark, with a whole army shooting at me; she speaks Ponyards, and every word stabs'; if her breath were as terrible as her terminations, there were no living near her, she would infect to the North-Star ; I would not marry her, though she were endowed with all that Adam had left him before he transgress’d ; she would have made Hercules have turn’d Spit, yea, and have cleft his club to make the fire too. Come, talk not of her, you shall find her the infernal Até in good apparel. · I would to God, fome scholar would conjure
(6) hudling jeft upon jest, with such impossible conveyance, upon me.] Thus all the printed Copies; but 1 freely confess, I can't possibly understand the Phrase. I have ventur'd to substitute impassable. To make a Pass (in Fencing,) is, to thrust, pusha : and by impassable, I presume, the Poet meant, that me puth'd her jests upon him with such Swiftness, that it was impoflible for him to pass them off, to parry them.
her; for, certainly, while she is here a man may live as quiet in hell as in a fanctuary, and people sin upon purpose, because they would go thither; so, indeed, all difquiet, horror, and perturbation follow her.
Enter Claudio, Beatrice, Leonato and Hero.
Bene. Will your Grace command me any service to the world's end? I will go on the slightest errand now to the Antipodes, that you can devise to send me on; I will fetch you a tooth-picker now from the farthest inch of Afia; bring you the length of Prefter John's
fetch you a hair off the great Cham's beard ; do you any ambassage to the pigmies, rather than hold three words conference with this harpy; you have no employment for me?
Pedro. None, but to desire your good company,
Bene, O God, Sir, here's a dish I love not. I can. not indure this Lady Tongue.
Pedro. Come, Lady, come; you have lost the heart of Signior Benedick.
Beat. Indeed, my Lord, he lent it me a while, and I gave him 'use for it, a double heart for a single one ; marry, once before he won it of me with false dice, therefore
may well say, I have lost it. Pedro. You have put him down, Lady, you ha: put him down.
Beat. So I would not he should do me, my Lorii left I should prove the mother of fools: I have brough Count Claudio, whom you sent me to feek.
Pedro. Why, how now, Count, wherefore are you sad ?:
Claud. Not fad, my Lord.
Beat. The Count is neither fad, nor fick, nor merry, nor well ; but civil, Count, civil as an orange, and something of that jealous complexion.
Pedro. I'faith, Lady, I think your blazon to be true; though I'll be sworn, if he be so, his conceit is false. Vol. II.
Here, Claudio, I have wooed in thy name, and fair Hero is won; I have broke with her father, and his good will obtained ; name the day of marriage, and God give thee joy.
Leon. Count, take of me my daughter, and with her my fortunes: his Grace hath made the match, and all grace fay, Amen, to it.
Beat. Speak, Count, 'tis your cue.
Claud. Silence is the perfecteft herald of joy; I were but little happy, if I could fay how much. Lady, as you are mine, I am yours: I give away my self for you, and doat upon the exchange.
Beat. Speak, Coufin, or (if you cannot) stop his mouth with a kiss, and let him not speak neither.
Pedro. In faith, Lady, you have a merry heart.
Beat. Yea, my Lord, I thank it, poor fool, it keeps on the windy side of care ; my cousin tells him in his ear, that he is in her heart. Claud. And so she doth, cousin.
Beat. Good Lord, for alliance! thus goes every one to the world but I, and I am sun-burn'd; I may fit in a corner, and cry heigh ho! for a husband.
Pedro. Lady Beatrice, I will get you one.
Father's get ting: hath your Grace ne'er a brother like you ? your Father got excellent husbands, if a maid could come by them.
Pedro. Will you have me, Lady?
Beat. No, my Lord, unless I might have another for working days; your Grace is too costly to wear every day : but, I beseech your Grace, pardon me, I was born to speak all mirth and no matter.
Pedro. Your filence most offends me, and to be merry best becomes you; for, out of question, you were born in a merry
hour. Beat. No, sure, my Lord, my mother cry'd; but then there was a star danc'd, and under that I was born. Cousins, God give you joy.
Leon. Neice, will you look to those things I told
you of ?