Written by the Reverend Dr SWIFT on his own DEAFNESS.

Ertiginofus, inops, furdus, male gratus amicis ; Non campana Jonans, tonitru non ab Jove missum, Quod mage mirandum, faltem fi credere fas eft, Non clamofa meas mulier jam percutit aures.

DE

In ENGLISH.

EAF, giddy, helpless, left alone,
To all my friends a burden grown;
No more I hear my church's bell,
Than if it rang out for my knell:
At thunder now no more I start,
Than at the rumbling of a cart:
Nay, what's incredible, alack!
I hardly hear a woman's clack.

Å LETTER to Dr HELSHAM.

SIR,

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Nov. 23, 1731, at night.

WHEN I left you, I found myself of the grape's

juice fick :

I'm fo full of pity, I never abuse fick;

And the patienteft patient that ever you knew fick ;
Both when I am purge-fick, and when I am spue-fick.
I pitied my cat, whom I knew by her mew-fick;
She mended at firft, but now she's anew fick.
Captain Butler made fome in the church black and

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Dean Cross, had he preach'd, would have made us all pew-fick.

Art not you, in a croud, when you feat and flew, fick?

Lady Santry got out of the church † when she grew fick,

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And, as fast as she could, to the deanery flew fick.
Mifs Morice was (I can assure you 'tis true) fick.
For who would not be in that numerous crew fick ?
Such mufic would make a fanatic or Jew fick :
Yet ladies are seldom at ombre or lue fick ;
Nor is old Nanny Shales |, whene'er she does brew,

fick.

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My footman came home from the church of a bruife

fick,

And look'd like a rake, who was made in the stews

fick;

But you learn'd doctors can make whom you chufe

fick.

Poor I myself I was, when I withdrew, fick,

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For the smell of them made me like garlick and rue

fick.

And I got thro' the croud, tho' not led by a clue, fick. You hop'd to find many (for that was your cue) fick; But there were not a dozen (to give 'em their due)

fick,

And thofe to be fure, ftuck together like glue, fick. 25 So are ladies in crouds, when they squeeze and they fcrew, fick...

You may find they are all, by their yellow pale hue, fick;

So am I, when tobacco, like Robin, I chew fick,

Το

+ St Patrick's cathedral, where the mufic on St Cæcilia's day

was ufually performed.

Vide Gratton inter Belcamp et Clenfhob.

To Dr SHERIDAN.

Nov. 23. at night.

FI write any more, it will make my poor mufe

IF I

fick.

This night I came home with a very cold dew fick,
And I wish I may foon be not of an ague fick ;
But I hope I shall ne'er be, like you, of a shrew fick,
Who often has made me, by looking ascue, fick.

A LETTER to Dr HELSHAM.

SIR,

Pray difcruciate what follows.

T

HE dullest beaft, and gentleman's liquor, When young, is often due to the vicar. The dulleft of beafts, and fwine's delight, Make up a bird very fwift of flight.

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The dullest beast, when high in stature,
And another of royal nature,

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For breeding is a useful creature.

The dulleft beaft, and a party diftreft,

When too long, is bad at best.

The dulleft beaft, and the faddle it wears,
Is good for partridge, not for hares.

The dulleft beast and kind voice of a cat,
Will make a horse go, though he be not fat.
The dulleft of beafts and of birds in the air,
Is that by which all Irishmen fwear.

The dullest beaft and fam'd college for Teagues,
Is a perfon very unfit for intrigues.

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The dullest beast and a cobler's tool,
With a boy that is only fit for school,
In fummer is very pleasant and cool.

The dulleft beaft, and that which you kifs,
May break a limb of master or miss.
Of ferpent-kind, and what at distance kills,
Poor Mistress Dingley oft hath felt its bills.
The dulleft beaft, and eggs unfound,
Without it I rather would walk on the ground.
The dulleft beaft, and what covers a house,
Without it a writer is not worth a loufe.
The dulleft beaft, and fcandalous vermin,
Of roaft or boil'd, to the hungry is charming.

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The dulleft beast, and what's cover'd with crust,

There's no body but a fool that would truft.
The dulleft beast mending highways,

Is to a horfe an evil disease.

The dullest beast, and a hole in the ground,

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Will drefs a dinner worth five pound.

The dullest beaft, and what doctors pretend,
The cook-maid often has by the end.

The dulleft beast, and fish for lent,

May give you a blow you'll for ever repent.

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The dulleft beaft, and a fhameful jeer,
Without it a lady fhould never appear.

Wednesday night.

I writ all thefe before I went to bed. them for me, because I cannot do it. VOL. VII.

Pray explain

PRO

PROBATUR ALITER.

A Long-ear'd beaft, and a field-house for cattle,

Among the coals does often rattle.

A long-ear'd beaft, a bird that prates, The bridegrooms first gift to their mates, Is by all pious Chriftians thought,

In clergymen the greatest fault.

A long-ear'd beast, and woman of Endor,
If your wife be a fcold, that will mend her.

With a long-ear'd beaft, and med'cines ufe,
Cooks make their fowl look tight and spruce.
A long-car'd beaft, and holy fable,
Strengthens the shoes of half the rabble.
A long-ear'd beat, and Rhenish wine,
Lies in the lap of ladies fine.

A long-ear'd beaft, and Flanders college,
Js Dr T-1 to my knowledge.

A long-ear'd beaft, and building knight; Cenforious people do in spight.

A long-ear'd beast, and bird of night, We finners are too apt to flight.

A long-ear'd beaft, and fhameful vermin,

A judge will eat, tho' clad in ermin.
A long-ear'd beaft, and Irish cart,
Can leave a mark, and give a smart.
A long-ear'd beast in mud to lie,
No bird in air fo fwift can fly.

A long-ear'd beaft, and a sputt'ring old Whig,

I wish he were in it, and dancing a jig.
A long-ear'd beaft, and liquor to write,
Is a damnable smell both morning and night.
A long-ear'd beast, and the child of a sheep,
At whift they will make a defperate sweep.
A beast long-ear'd, and till midnight you stay,
Will cover a house much better than clay.

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