NESTOR.

I beg to remind you, gentlemen, that we wander from the business of the night, and that the Lieutenant and the Beau unfortunately never fail to carry on hostilities till the rest of the company are dead-asleep.-Dr. Ploddem, you have the list of names which were concocted at a private meeting-be pleased to read them.

DR. PLODDem.

[Adjusting his spectacles, and then reading.]

"Tweed Visitor"-"Berwick Magazine"-" Tweedside Remembrancer"-" Tweedside Repository and Border Record:"-Now, for my part, I would discard the two first as utterly insignificant ;-Berwick is hackneyed, and in the mouth of every one from the Land's End to John o' Groat's, nor do I perceive any meaning that can be attached to Visitor ;-it is too trifling for the character of the work, to which the energies of so much talent are to be devoted. Then comes The Tweedside Remembrancer—a regular jaw-breaker for country subscribers, and fit only for a love-gift. Shall I draw the pen across it? SIROC.

Beau! That was the product of your creative fancy-hast not a word to say, man, in behalf of the Remembrancer?

COURTLY.

[Rising slowly.] It strikes me, Doctor, that you'll not readily dis cover a more becoming title. Remembrancer! What a world of holy thoughts and feelings are allied to that magic name !-Gentlemen, the success of the Tweedside Remembrancer would be certain. There is not a corner of the habitable globe, which does not count among its immortal tenants some of those who first breathed the breath of life on the green banks

'Of Tweed's fair river broad and deep;'

let the words, then, but meet the eye or sound in the ear of the exile from the home of his love and his happiness, and gladly would he tender a moiety of his earnings in exchange for a work, which acted as a spell, and conjured up from the regions of the past the joys and the sorrows that chequered his young days. Yes apart from the intrinsic merits of the literary contributions, the very title would carry the Tweedside Remembrancer to every village of Europe, to every city and empire of the earth and the rising generations of posterity would lisp with accents of gratitude and delight the honoured names of Nestor and Placid, Ploddem and Siroc, and—

SIROC.

Master Matthew Courtly-Bravo! Bravo! my boy-spoken stoutly. DR. PLODDEM.

What Master Matthew Courtly has delivered is all very well, and bears reason on the face of it; and though preferable to the last mentioned, which is a double title, that just advocated still lies open to the objection of lengthiness.

i

MR. PLACID.

The chief object in the matter before us should be simplicity-an object which, I think, may be gained without sacrificing comprehen siveness. I would, accordingly, propose-THE BORDER MAGAZINE, as being equally distant from pomposity and silliness, and quite intelligible to every class of readers, into whose possession the work may fall.

NESTOR.

You have anticipated me by that proposal. It is excellent. Dissentients-stand!- (The Beau alone rises, and hurriedly resumes

his seat; grumbles audibly.)

SIROC.

Matthew, my dear fellow, pocket the disappointment, and be easy. -(Enter Jemmy, bowing and breathless his face disfigured with mud, and his whole exterior betokening some direful calamity.)

NESTOR.

James-James-what has befallen you? Have you seen Mr. Cameron ?

DABBLE.

Ou, aye: I hae seen him, an' were it no that I dinna but like to ser you, Sir, I wadna turn my face doon his lang dark entery again, for ony considerashin whatsomever. My certy! ye needna sit daffin there, Mr. Coortly, for confoun' me gin I can bear to be lauchin at; an' besides, ye're no sensible o' the mishap I hae met wi' on my way to Mr. Cawmeron's office this nicht. Only wutness my knee-breeks, an' the flaps o' my speck-an'-span-new waist-coat; saw ye ever ony thing dirtit like them?-they'll no dicht ava', an' I doot it will tak a' the sape and potashees in the toon to mak them look purpose like, Sir, after the abominable glaurin', whilk they hae gotten.

NESTOR.

Don't despair, my good Dabble. Your unmentionables can undergo a renovation to-morrow; and as for your vest, I am pretty certain you will find it's fellow in my ward-robe. But how, in the name of wonder, came you to such mishap?

DABBLE.

In gude truth, Sir, its mirawculous that I haena gittin my een pitten out, for sure aneuch never was ony cretur nearer blindit. Hech! I'm geyan like to fent; I wad thank ye, Sir, for a moothfu' out o' the jug (drinks). That's capital drink!—(smacks his lips). Weel, ye see, as I was rinnin doun the prenter's wynd wi' a' my birr, what sud I dae but fa' a' my lang length out owre a tub o' keppit washinwater, whilk stood like anither man-trap, set by Clootie's sel, i' the darkest nuek o' a' the entery. I was wat frae tap to tae; nor had I time to say, losh preserve me, till out comes an auld canker'd carlin' frae the doonermaist house o' the close, wi' the dowp o' a cannel in her haund, wha nae sooner saw me than she darted to the gutter, harled a neifu' o' glaur thegither, an' clash'd it i' my face. I thocht

VOL. I.

B

I wad hae been chokit wi' the stuff; and fac as death, Sirs, had she no been a puir feckless wunnel-strae o' a body, as sure as my name's Jeemes Dabble, I wad hae knocket her doon, an' left her spreulin' on the spat.

NESTOR.

I heartily pity your misfortune, James;-a bottle of Brown Stout will perhaps restore you.-Has Mr. Cameron come with you?

DABBLE.

I left him below to tak the dirt aff his shoon-that's him.-(A tap is heard at the door-James exit-and enter Mr. Cameron.)

NESTOR.

of

Mr. Cameron, be seated. We have sent for you for the purpose asking your opinion respecting the publication of a Magazine-to be issued in monthly numbers at one shilling each. Our object is to ascertain the sum you charge for printing, and how far you can assure us of the public support.

MR. CAMERON.

[Reflecting.]-Presuming that you would not require a less quantity than ten thousand copies per month, I think, at a rough guess, a hundred and eighty pounds would remunerate me, and leave you ample funds to pay correspondents, besides a moiety for your own labours.

SIROC.

A hundred and eighty pounds!-Zounds! That money would go a great way towards the purchase of a neat frigate.

COURTLY.

Lieutenant Siroc should not forget that he is fast fading into the melancholy hue of the "sere and yellow leaf," and he might not show himself reluctant to hazard a speculation, which promises to preserve his name to future ages, not only as a brave defender of his King and country, but also as a man of genius, who, amid the turmoils of a maritime life, found leisure to cultivate the talents with which his Maker had entrusted him, and to fit himself alike for the polished circle and the social feast of intellectuality.

SIROC.

True-true-Beau;-my youngest blood has been shed, and the strength of a vigorous arm has been exerted, in punishing insults offered to British dignity, and in repelling the invader from our shores;-a few gales more on the ocean of life, and the voyage will be over. I care not, lad, if I risk the fifth of a hundred and eighty; appoint a day for the launch, and I'm at your service.

MR. PLACID.

Mr. Cameron, do you not think your estimate of the literary cha racter of our town too high? The population, including the liberties

of Berwick and the parish of Tweedmouth, does not exceed fifteen thousand.

MR. CAMERON.

I proceed, Sir, on the supposition, that one-third of that number will read the Magazine, and five thousand will scarcely be adequate to the demand about the Borders and in Foreign parts.

NESTOR.

Gentlemen, I would recommend to you to confide unhesitatingly in Mr. Cameron's discretion. By the sale of the first Number we shall be enabled to regulate that of the rest; and the printing expences, I am certain, will not exceed moderation. We can discuss particulars at supper. Do you agree? (They nod assent-Nestor rings the bell, and Dabble immediately makes his appearance.)

DABBLE.

I was just comin' to bring a complent against your new lass, Maister-she's a perfect misert, and winna gie me the bottle you ordered: sma' beer, she says, is gude eneugh for me, and she was fit to worry me, because I ate the wee bit fool that was left frae denner, and twa or three o' the baker's baps, that ye might squeeze into a nutshell. NESTOR.

Sirrah, I anticipated a portion of that fowl to-night-Did you add no other provocation?

DABBLE.

I dinna weel ken what ye ca' provocashin-I just thocht a wee drap o' Glenleevet wad na' be improper to keep out the cauld—

COURTLY.

So you thought you might overstep your orders:-and did you not tell me, you were acting up to the principle of the Temperance Society, although you had not lent your name to the cause? Fie, James, to break your

'oath and resolution, like

A twist of rotten silk!".

DABBLE.

Hoot, Sir, the Temperance Society dis na' forbid a glass, when it'll do a body gude. Na! na! Mr. Ainshlie tell't me that.

NESTOR.

I fear you will never be persuaded that any quantity will do you harm.-Tell John to have supper on the table in five minutes, and in future let me hear no complaints similar to the present. (Dabble retires.)

DR. PLODDEM.

I am a friend of temperance, but not of abstinence, and shall be happy to enter the lists and try my prowess with you, Nat, and the

Beau on a future occasion;-I look to the Lieutenant for aid, and let Mr. Placid be umpire.

SIROC.

Deprive me of my grog, and you take my life, because you take the means of life-I speak from experience. About five and thirty years ago I was cast upon a desert island, where the bravest set of men that ever paced a quarter-deck and myself tasted only a few shell-fish during fourteen days, and drank nothing but salt water. On the fifteenth morning, when all were laid on their beam ends, saving your servant, a cask of rum, from the wreck, hove in sight, and by favour of wind and tide reached the shore. I got it landed in safety, though my bones were cutting my jacket, and having cheered my drooping spirits with a shell-full, I hastened to the relief of my dying comrades. Some of them had slipped their cables, and the rum

COURTLY.

I beg pardon for interrupting you, my dear Siroc, but as your story seems to be long and interesting, you had better reserve it till after supper.

Before adjourning, I may intimate that my letters to the principal writers of the day have met with a most favourable reception, and ere the lapse of many weeks, you may expect to see this good oaken table loaded with manuscripts. It is exceedingly to be regretted, that the Lion of Abbotsford is so much reduced by the infirmities of age and the effects of a laborious, life as to be forced to seek relief under a milder sky. Blackwood, however, is to extend his generosity to us; and my excellent, friend North, whose wonderfully varied powers have excited the admiration of the world, will not be backward to encourage our enterprise. In short, our endeavours will be seconded by the ablest minds in the three kingdoms. Mat, you volunteered to visit the Shepherd; have you performed your promise?

COURTLY.

I have deputed a friend of mine to do so for me, and will be able to lay the results before you prior to our next meeting.

NESTOR.

I hear the welcome sound of the supper-bell. I would merely express a hope, in conclusion, that the readers of the Border Magazine will suspend judgment for a time, since, while No. I. will undoubtedly contain much to deserve approbation, the arrangement and selection of materials cannot possibly partake of that judiciousness and variety, which experience will provide for subsequent exhibitions. (Exeunt omnes.)