SECTION L.

OF FOOLS THAT WILLINGLY PUT THEMSELVES IN THE WAY OF PERIL.

-Idemens! et sævas curre per Alpes,

Ut pueris placeas et declamatio fias.

Or sportsmen I've already spoken,
Whose limbs and necks so oft are broken; ;
But now behold the buck quite dashing,
Who down fam'd Bond Street must be splashing;
On boot high perch'd the palm to win,
With four blood horses half broke in.

For fame as knight o'the whip thus striving,
Through ranks close hemm❜d of coaches driving;
His furious steeds each moment whipping,
And all competitors outstripping;
Is all his aim, aud that each stranger,
May see him, fool-like, dare all danger *.

* It is certain that though the rashest actions have at times been crowned with success, they are but few in

If racing, that the fool may win it,
He'd fain go one mile in the minute;
For which he urges, spurs, and whips,
In hopes to vie with fam'd Eclipse ;
And striving still to gallop faster,
Down drops the racer with his master.

number, when compared with the destructive termination which has in general accompanied this species of folly.Charles the Twelfth, of Sweden, proved himself a rash fool, in opposing the whole army of the Turks at Bender, when he had but a few followers; nor was there more real bravery in his conduct than was displayed some years back, by the fool who walked round the iron balustrade which appears at the summit of the monument; for in both cases, the same fact will hold good, viz. had the Swedish monarch been shot, no one would have pitied his fate, but branded him with the well earned appellation of fool; and, in like manner, if the ideot who sported himself on the rail of the monument, had been precipitated to the bottom, there would have been but one opinion-That his foolhardiness well merited its punishment. Such being the fact, let all rash men, ere they undertake an action, consider only what will be the derision of mankind, if they fail, and that simple interrogatory will at once instruct them, whether or no their conduct is sanctioned by the dictates of reason, common sense, and prudence, for the latter requisite is as absolutely essential to real courage, as any other.

A strumpet's character's so tender,
That fools there are, who, to defend her,
Their lives consult no more than pullets,
And willing meet th' offender's bullets;
Thus wisely sufeiting his hobby,
By being shot *-for row in lobby.

*Notwithstanding the modern vocabulary of honour, which tells a man to risk his life, because another treads upon the tail of his dog; I must nevertheless affirm, that such conduct has nothing to do with real courage; for there are but very few injuries of such a glaring nature as to demand the blood of one fellow creature at the hands of another. Would it argue real courage, let me ask, for a man of a delicate and weak habit, and quite devoid of skill, to put his strength in opposition to an experienced bruiser? or would it redound to the credit of an individual who had never fired a pistol, to place himself within twelve paces of a man who could hit a crown piece at 30 yards, and who was to have the first shot into the bargain; if such be the standard bravery, and the touchstone of honour, I must certainly coincide with Falstaff, when he exclaims,

"What is honour? a word-What is that word honour? Air; a trim reckoning. Who hath it? He that died a Wednesday. Doth he feel it? No. Doth he hear it? No. Is it insensible then? Yea, to the dead. But will it not live with the living? No."

No jot are modern belles less tardy,

To show themselves alike fool hardy ;
Who of their health are grown so thriftless,

As to go next akin to shiftless;

"is

"Art," they exclaim, " is naught to us,' In puris naturalibus.

L'ENVOY OF THE POET.

Short is life's span, and much we have to do, Their final doom none court but little wits; For death fools and madmen only sue,

your

Wise men will live as long as God permits.

THE POET'S CHORUS TO FOOLS.

Come, trim the boat, row on each Rara Avis, Crowds flock to man my Stultifera Navis.

Dr. Paley, in his Political and Moral Philosophy, very justly observes, that honour is nothing more than a law instituted by one certain class of people which is to act as a tie upon another, having no reference whatever, either to religion or morality; and with respect to that species of honour which prompts a man to rush headlong into ruin, it is invariably the rule, that if the actor succeeds, he is crowned with the applause of the multitude; whereas, if he fails, he is sure to be as universally reprehended.

SECTION LI.

OF GENTLEMEN FOOLS.

Licet superbus ambules pecuniæ,
Fortuna non mutat genus.

SOME cheesemonger or tallowchandler,
Who's got by trade of gold command sir ;
To vie with gentlefolks aspires;
Thinks no one half so bless'd by fate,
As when he's got a fine estate;.
And to his country seat retires *.

With purse-proud folly overbearing,
And ignorance beyond comparing,

* On the score of tradesmen having country seats, I have only to remark, that if our men of title and fashion do not look sharp about them, all the estates of their ancestors will become the property of the mercantile part of this country. Thanks to their own depravity!