SECTION XXXI.

OF FOOLISH ANTIQUARIES.

Vetera extollimus, recentium incuriosi.

Lo! here's indeed, a rare collection
Of fools, well form'd to cause reflection:
Of dolts, by whom a trifle's cherish'd,
Which, 'neath time's with'ring hand hath
perish'd.

Whose sapient brain, from modern works, no pleasure knows:

Dotes on crack'd urn Etruscan-bust without a

nose.

Or now, behold, quite black and crummy,
Some perfect truss'd Egyptian mummy;
Or else, perhaps, to crown his bliss, sir,
A toe of queen Semiramis, sir;

Or valiant Hector's tooth, beyond denial;
Or tear* of Dido, safe preserv'd in phial.

Or, if with old late times comparing,
See Egbert's tunic† worse for wearing;
Or else of Ethelbert the boot, sir,
Or famous cup of Hardi Knute, sir;

The poet, in this line, has had an eye to the excellent after-piece of Modern Antiques, which cannot be too frequently performed, to expose the false taste of these votaries of folly, of whom we may well say,

Tutte le pietre non sono gemino.

†The writer was well acquainted with a virtuoso, who preserved, with the most scrupulous care, a scrap of the robe, found in the coffin of King John, at Winchester; who was also present at the opening of the vault, containing the remains of Edward the Fourth: on which occasion he tasted the pickle, found in the leaden receptacle of that monarch, in order to discover, if possible, of what liquids it was composed.-Oh, what a relish!

↑ The history of this cup must ever excite a smile on the countenance of individuals, who are not enslaved by this extraordinary taste for relics of antiquity; and that the reader, therefore, may not accuse me of selfishness, I will, in as few words as possible, make him acquainted with the fact. Mr. Steevens, who, for some particular reason, did not feel any great predilection for the Anti

Which, doubtless, from th' inscription, held his Rhenish wine,

Because Shaksperian Steevens carv'd himself the line.

quarian Society, caused a cup to be constructed of stone, on which he engraved some rude Saxon characters, apparently intimating, from broken syllables, that it was the vessel, out of which Hardi Knute used to drink to his knights at his round table. This vessel, by the manœuvres of Mr. Steevens, was conveyed to Somerset House, for the inspection of the learned body of antiquaries, after undergoing every necessary transfiguration, to give it the appearance of having imbibed the mould of age, the solemn hue of antiquity. Upon this cup the erudite Mr. Pegge wrote a very elaborate and learned disquisition, stamping it, indelibly, the vessel of Knute; after which it was returned to Mr. Steevens, through the channel which he had made use of in order to pass off his hoax. When that gentleman, having thus gained his end, most inhumanly published the whole transaction to the world; still augmenting his barbarity, by properly construing the lines engraven on the vessel, which proved no other than a most biting satire on the Society he had thus imposed upon. Among the impostors of this nature should not be omitted the Rowleian Chatterton, and the Shaksperian Ireland, whose memories will live as long as old chests and old manuscripts stand on record.

Old stones, bones, coffins, without number, Pots, pipkins, pans, such kitchen lumber; Old chain, mail, armour, weapons rusty, Coins*, medals, parchment, writings musty: Yet, after all antiques, not one compare I can To that most rare of all, an antiquarian.

* A very curious story is related of a collector of old coins, who, after displaying his valuable store to some amateurs, suddenly missed a rare gold piece, of the Em peror Carusius, which had peculiarly attracted the attention of his visitors, when, instantly securing the door of the apartment, he made the fact known, and requested that the gentlemen would turn their pockets inside out, in order to satisfy him that it was not in either of their possessions. Each of the visitors, anxious to vindicate himself from the charge of theft, instantly acquiesced with the desire of the collector, who, not finding his coin by this means, proceeded to acquaint the company that he must be under the necessity of administering a strong purgative to each party, which was accordingly ordered, notwithstanding the most vehement opposition on all sides; when wrought upon by this vigorous mode of attack, one of the amateurs, at length, confessed that he had been unable to resist the powerful temptation : and, as he wanted that coin only to render his series complete, he had literally taken the opportunity of swallowing it, in the hope of bearing away the prize; so that

4

L'ENVOY OF THE POET.

O! let me counsel, friend-For modern art, And British genius should not be forgot. 'Twere hard if Wedgewood could not act his

part,

And vie with Greek or Roman ch-mb-r p-t.

after evacuation he might be enabled to place it in his own repository. It is almost needless to add, that the injured collector did not suffer this swallower of emperors to quit his mansion, until Carusius had passed the great ordeal, and once more tasted the joys of light and liberty.

By way of sequel to the above, the reader should be informed, that shortly after the fact here related had taken place, an old acquaintance of this purging collector demanded the cause which had instigated him to adopt so extraordinary a method; when he confessed, that upon a former occasion he had himself pursued a similar expedient, in order to become possessed of a scarce coin, which was deficient in his assortment; and that, well knowing from experience that nothing less than a smart dose would have immediately brought forth the hidden treasure from his own bowels, he had consequently pursued that plan, on finding that his lost treasure was not concealed in the external accoutrements of his visitors.

K