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J. Van Court, printer, corner Bread & Quarry st

THE LADIES' GARLAND.

Vol. I.

December, 1837.

No. 11.

THE VILLAGE PASTOR'S like my wealthier cousins; educated at the

WIFE.

A TALE OF WARNING.

gradually lost ground in the affections of my aunt, for I unfortunately eclipsed my elder cousins in those outer gifts of nature and those acquired graces of manner, which, however valueless, when unaccompanied by inward worth, have always exercised a prevailing, an irresistible influence in society.

same schools; ushered into the same fashionable society; where I learned that awkwardness was considered the only unpardonable WHAT impels me to take up my pen, com- offence, and that almost any thing might be pose myself to the act of writing, and begin || said and done, provided it was said and done the record of feelings and events which will gracefully. From the time of our first ininevitably throw a shadow over the character || troduction into what is called the world, I which too partial and misjudging affection once beheld shining with reflected lustre? I know not-but it seems to me, as if a divine voice whispered from the boughs that wave by my window, occasionally intercepting the sun's rays that now fall obliquely on my paper, saying, that if I live for memory, I must not live in vain-and that perchance, || I never exactly knew why, but I was the when I, too, lie beneath the willow that hangs over his grave, unconscious of its melancholy waving, a deep moral may be found in these pages, short and simple as they may be. Then be it so. It is humiliat ing to dwell on past errors-but I should rather welcome the humiliation, if it can be any expiation for my blindness, my folly-no!|| such expressions are too weak-I should say, my madness, my sin, my hard-hearted guilt. It is unnecessary to dwell on my juvenile years. Though dependent on the bounty of an uncle, who had a large family of his own to support, every wish which vanity could suggest, was indulged as soon as expressed. I never knew a kinder, more hospitable, uncalculating being, than my uncle. If his unsparing generosity had not experienced a counteracting influence in the vigilant economy of my aunt, he would long since have been a bankrupt. She was never unkind to me, for I believe she was conscientious, and she had loved my mother tenderly. I was the orphan legacy of that mother, and consequently a sacred trust. I was fed and clothed GAR. VOL. I.—No. 11.

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favorite of my uncle, who seemed to love me better than even his own daughters, and he rejoiced at the admiration that I excited, though often purchased at their expense. Perhaps the secret was this. They were of a cold temperament; mine was ardent, and whatever I loved, I loved without reserve, and expressed my affection with characteristic warmth and enthusiasm. I loved my indulgent uncle with all the fervor of which such a nature, made vain and selfish by education, is capable. Often, after returning from an evening party, my heart throbbing high with the delight of gratified vanity, when he would draw me towards him and tell me-with most injudicious fondness, it is true-that I was a thousand times prettier than the flowers I wore, more sparkling than the jewels, and that I ought to marry a prince or a nabob, I exulted more in his praise, than in flatteries that were still tingling in my ears. Even my aunt's coolness was a grateful tribute to my self love-for was it not occasioned by my transcendency over her less gifted daughters?

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tion, and the glow of excited vanity that suffused my cheek was supposed to have its origin from a purer source. I was determined to enjoy the full glory of my conquest.

company us home, and sojourn with us a few days, I backed the invitation with all the eloquence my countenance was capable of expressing. Vain and selfish being that I was-I might have known that we differed from each other as much as the rays of the morning star from the artificial glare of the sky-rocket. He drew his light from the fountain of living glory, I from the decaying

The invitation was accepted-and before that short visit was concluded, so great was the influence he acquired over me, while I was only seeking to gain the ascendancy over his affections, that I felt willing to give up the luxury and fashion that surrounded me, for the sweet and quiet hermitage he described, provided the sacrifice were required. I never once thought of the duties that would devolve upon me, the solemn responsibilities of my new situation. It is one of the mysteries of Providence, how such a being as myself could ever have won a heart like his. He saw the sunbeam playing on the surface, and thought that all was fair beneath; I did love him; but my love was a passion, not a principle. I was captivated by the heavenly graces of his manner, but was incapable of comprehending the source whence those graces were derived.

But why do I linger on the threshold of events, which, simple in themselves, stamped my destiny-for time, yea, and for eternity. It was during a homeward journey, with| When my uncle warmly urged him to acmy uncle, I first met him, who afterwards became my husband. My whole head becomes sick, and my whole heart faint, as I think what I might have been, and what I am. But I must forbear. If I am compelled at times to lay aside my pen, overcome with agony and remorse, let me pause till I can go on with a steady hand, and a calmer brain. Our carriage broke down-it was a common accident-a young gentleman on horse-fires of earth. back, who seemed like ourselves a traveler, came up to our assistance. He dismounted, proffered every assistance in his power, and accompanied us to the inn, which fortunately was not far distant, for my uncle was severely injured, and walked with difficulty, though supported by the stranger's arm and my own. I cannot define the feeling, but from the moment I beheld him, my spirit was troubled within me. I saw at once, that he was of a different order of beings from those I had been accustomed to associate with; and there was something in the heavenly composure of his countenance and gentle dignity of manner, that rebuked my restless desire for admiration and love of display. I never heard any earthly sound so sweet as his voice. Invisible communion with angels could alone give such tones to the human voice. At first, I felt a strange awe in his presence, and forgot those artificial graces, for which I had been too much admired. Without meaning to play the part of a hypocrite, my real disposition was completely concealed. During the three days we were detained, he remained with us; and aloof from all temptation to folly, the best traits of my character were called into exercise. On the morning of our departure, as my uncle was express- We were married. I accompanied him to ing his gratitude for his kindness, and his the beautiful village of - I became mishope of meeting him in town, he answered-tress of the parsonage. `Never shall I forget and it was not without emotion- I fear our the moment when I first entered this avenue, paths diverge too much, to allow that hope. shaded by majestic elms; beheld these low, Mine is a lowly one, but I trust I shall find white walls, festooned with redolent vines; it blest.' I then, for the first time, learned and heard the voice, which was then the that he was a minister-the humble pastor music of my life, welcome me here, as Heaof a country village. My heart died within ven's best and loveliest gift. How happyme. That this graceful and uncommonly how blest I might have been, and I was hapinteresting young man should be nothing py for a while. His benign glance and ap more than an obscure village preacher-it proving smile were, for a time, an equivalent was too mortifying. All my bright visions for the gaze of admiration and strains of of conquest faded away. We can never be flattery to which I had been accustomed. I any thing to each other,' thought I. Yet as even tried, in some measure, to conform to I again turned towards him, and saw his his habits and tastes, and to cultivate the usually calm eye fixed on me with an ex- good will of the plebeians and rustics who pression of deep anxiety, I felt a conviction constituted a great portion of his parish. But that I might be all the world to him. He the mind, unsupported by principle, is incawas watching the effect of his communica-l pable of any steady exertion.

My uncle would gladly have seen me established in a style more congenial to my prevailing taste, but gave his consent, as he said, on the score of his surpassing merit. My aunt was evidently more than willing to have me married, while my cousins rallied me, for falling in love with a country parson.

Mine gra

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No. 11.

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dually wearied of the effort of assuming vir-|| briars, was doomed to feel this thorn, daily, tues to which it had no legitimate claim. hourly, goading me; and was constrained to The fervor of feeling which had given a conceal as much as possible the irritation she bluer tint to the sky and a fairer hue to the caused, because my husband treated her with flower, insensibly faded. I began to perceive as much respect as if she were an empress. defects in every object, and to wonder at the I thought Mr. L was wrong in this. blindness which formerly overlooked them. Owing to the deep placidity of his own disI still loved my husband, but the longer I position, he could not realize what a trial lived with him, the more his character soared such a companion was to a mercurial, inabove the reach of mine. I could not com- dulged, self-willed being as myself. Nature prehend, how one could be endowed with has gifted me with an exquisite ear for music, such brilliant talents and winning glances, and a discord always' wakes the nerve where and not wish for the admiration of the world. agony is born.' Poor aunt Debby had a perI was vexed with him for his meekness and fect mania for singing, and she would sit and humility, and would gladly have mingled, if sing for hours together, old fashioned ballads I could, the base alloy of earthly ambition and hymns of surprising length, scarcely with his holy aspirations after Heaven. I pausing to take breath. I have heard aged was even jealous-I almost tremble, while I people sing the songs of Zion, when there write it-of the God he worshipped. I could was most touching melody in their tones; not bear the thought, that I held a second and some of the warmest feelings of devoplace in his affections-though second only tion I ever experienced, were awakened by to the great and glorious Creator. Con- these solemn, trembling notes. But aunt tinually called from my side to the chamber Debby's voice was full of indescribable ramiof the sick, the couch of the dying, the dwell-fications, each a separate discord-a sharp, ing of the poor and ignorant, I in vain sought sour voice, indicative of the natural temper to fill up the widening vacuum left, by be- of the owner. coming interested in the duties of my station. I could not do it. They became every day more irksome to me. The discontent I was cherishing, became more and more visible, till the mild and anxious eye of my husband vainly looked for the joyous smile that used to welcome his return.

It is true, there were many things I was obliged to tolerate, which must inevitably be distasteful to one educated with such false refinement as I have been. But I never reflected they must be as opposed to my husband's tastes as my own, and that christian principle alone led him to the endurance of them. Instead of appreciating his angelic patience and forbearance, I blamed him for not lavishing more sympathy on me for trials which, though sometimes ludicrous in themselves, are painful from the strength of association.

The former minister of the village left a maiden sister as a kind of legacy to his congregation. My husband had been a protogee and pupil of the good man, who, on his deathbed, bequeathed his people to the charge of this son of his adoption, and him, with equal tenderness and solemnity, to the care of his venerable sister. She became a fixture in the parsonage, and to me a perpetual and increasing torment. The first month of our marriage, she was absent, visiting some of her seventh cousins in a neighboring town. I do not wish to exculpate myself from blame; but, if ever there was a thorn in human flesh, I|| believe I had found it in this inquisitive, gratuitously advising woman. I, who had always lived among roses, without thinking of

One Sunday morning, after she had been screeching one of Dr. Watts' hymns of about a hundred verses, she left me to prepare for church. When we met after finishing our separate toilettes, she began her animadversions on my dress as being too gay for a minister's wife. I denied the charge; for though made in the redundance of fashion, it was of an unadorned white. 'But what,' said she, disfiguring the muslin folds with her awkward fingers, what is the use of all these fandangles of lace? They are nothing but Satan's devices to lead astray silly women, whose minds are running after finery.' All this I might have borne with silent contempt, for it came from aunt Debby; but when she brought the authority of a Mrs. Deacon, and a Mrs. Doelan of the parish to prove that she was not the only one who found fault with the fashion of my attire, the indignant spirit broke its bounds; deference for age was forgotten in the excitement of the moment, and the concentrated irritation of weeks burst forth. I called her an impertinent, morose old maid, and declared that one or the other of us should leave the parsonage. In the midst of the paroxysm, my husband entered-the calm of heaven on his brow. He had just left his closet, where he had been to seek the divine manna for the pilgrims it was his task to guide through the wilderness of life. He looked from one to the other in grief and amazement. Aunt Debby had seated herself on his entrance, and began to rock herself backward and forward, and to sigh and groan-saying it was a hard thing to be called such hard names at

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her time of life, &c. I stood, my cheeks || gratitude and feeling, I was melted into goodglowing with anger, and my heart violently ness, transient, but sincere. Had aunt Debby palpitating with the sudden effort at self-con- remained from us, all might yet have been trol. He approached me, took my hand and well; but after having visited awhile among said, 'My dear Mary! There was affection the parish, she returned; and her presence in his tone, but there was upbraiding also; choked the blossoms of my good resolutions. and drawing away my hand, I wept in bitter- I thought she never forgave the offending ness of spirit. As soon as I could summon epithet I had given her in the moment of sufficient steadiness of voice, I told him the passion. It is far from my intention, in delinecause of my resentment, and declared that I ating peculiarities like hers, to throw any opwould never again enter a place where I was probrium on that class of females, who from exposed to ridicule and censure, and from their isolated and unprotected situation, are those, too, so immeasurably my inferiors in peculiarly susceptible to the shafts of unkindbirth and education. Dearest Mary!' ex-ness and ridicule. I have known those whose claimed he, turning pale from agitation, 'you influence seemed as diffusive as the sunshine cannot mean what you say. Let not such and gentle as the dew; at whose approach trifles as these mar the peace of this holy day. the ringlets of childhood would be tossed I grieve that your feelings should have been gaily back, and the wan cheek of the aged wounded; but what matters it what the world lighted up with joy; who had devoted the says of our outward apparel, if our souls are glow of their youth, and the strength of their clothed with those robes of holiness which prime to acts of filial piety and love, watchmakes us lovely in our Maker's eye? Let ing the waning fires of life, as the vestal us go to the temple of Him, whose last legacy virgins the flame of the altar. Round such to man was peace.' Though the bell was beings as these, the beatitudes cluster; and ringing its last notes, and though I saw him yet the ban of unfeeling levity is passed upon so painfully disturbed, I still resisted the ap- the maiden sisterhood. But I wander from peal, and repeated my rash asseveration. The my path. It is not her history I am writing, bell had pealed its last summons, and was no so much as my own; which, however defilonger heard. Mary, must 1 go alone?' cient in incident, is not without, its moral His hand was on the latch-there was a burn-power.

ing flush on his cheek, such as I had never I experienced one source of mortification, seen before. My pride would have yielded-which I have not mentioned; it may even my conscience convicted me of wrong-I seem too insignificant to be noticed, and yet would have acknowledged my rashness, had it was terribly grating to my aristocratic not aunt Debby, whom I thought born to be iny evil spirit, risen with a long drawn sigh, and taken his arm, preparatory to accompany him. No,' said I, you will not be alone. You need not wait for me. In aunt Debby's company you cannot regret mine.'

6

Surely my heart must have been steeled, like Pharoah's, for some divine purpose, or I never could have resisted the mute anguish of his glance, as he closed the door on this cold and unmerited taunt. What hours of wretchedness I passed in the solitude of my chamber. I magnified my sufferings into those of martyrdom, and accused Mr. Lof not preparing me for the trials of my new situation. Yet even while I reproached him in my heart, I was conscious of my injustice, and felt that I did not suffer alone. It was the first time any other than words of kindness had passed between us, and it seemed to me that a barrier was beginning to rise, that would separate us forever. When we again met, I tried to retain the same cold manner and averted countenance, but he came unaccompanied by my tormentor, and looked so dejected and pale, my petulance and pride yielded to the reign of better feelings. I had even the grace to make concessions, which were received with such

feelings. Some of our good parishioners were in the habit of lavishing attentions, so repugnant to me, that I did not hesitate to refuse them; which I afterwards learned, gave great mortification and displeasure. Í would willingly accept a basket of fragrant strawberries, or any of the elegant bounties of nature; but, when they offered such plebean gifts as a shoulder of pork or mutton, a sack of grain or potatoes, I invariably returned my cold thanks and declined the honor. Is it strange, that I should become to them an object of aversion, and that they should draw comparisons, humbling to me, between their idolized minister and his haughty bride?

To be continued.

A pious cottager residing in the centre of a long and dreary heath, being asked by a Christian visiter, "Are you not sometimes afraid in your lonely situation, especially in winter?" He replied, "Oh no! for Faith shuts the door at night, and Mercy opens it in the morning."

Confession of a fault makes half amends for it,