94 SOCIETY A HELP AND A HINDRANCE. the greatest souls; but to have the conscious life over which we do exercise control, affected by other men, that is the sin of dependence." Oakfield. Would'st with thyself be acquainted, then see what the others are doing. But would'st thou understand others, look into thy own heart. Schiller. Solitude shows us what we should be; society shows us what we are. Cecil. Solitude cherishes great virtues, and destroys little ones. Sidney Smith. A man can do without his own approbation in much society, but he must make great exertions to gain it when he lives alone. ль. A talent is perfected in solitude, says Goethe; a character in the stream of the world. Si nous sommes trois qui voyagions ensemble, je trouverai necessairement deux instituteurs ; je choiserai l'homme de bien pour l'imiter, et l'homme pervers pour me corriger. Rochefoucauldt. If it is a matter of indifference, in the formation of human character, whether we mix in society or not, this earth might have been so divided that each human being might A CURE FOR A CONTRADICTORY SPIRIT. 95 have had a little planet and an immortality exclusively his own. Alcott. There are few good listeners in the world who make all the use they might of the understandings of others in the conduct of their own. No individual ingenuity can sift and examine a subject with as much variety and success, as the minds of many men, put in motion by many causes, and affected by an endless variety of accidents. Nothing, in my humble opinion, would bring an understanding so forward, as this habit of ascertaining and weighing the opinions of others; a point in which almost all men of abilities are deficient; whose first impulse, if they are young, is too often to contradict; or, if the manners of the world have cured them of that, to listen only with attentive ears but with most obdurate and unconquerable entrails. I would recommend to such young men, an intellectual regimen, of which I myself, in an earlier period of life, have felt the advantage; and that is, to assent to the two first propositions that they hear every day; and not only to assent to them, but, if they can, to improve and embellish them; and to make the speaker a little more in love with his own opinion than before. When they have a little got over the bitterness of assenting, they may gradually increase the number of assents, and so go on as their constitution will bear it. Sidney Smith. I do not quite agree in what you say relative to the 96 LEARNING FROM OTHERS. mode of treating others by humoring their natural bent. As far as regards myself, I do not wish it, and would always rather that my peculiar cast of mind should be disregarded in my intercourse with men. For, otherwise, what is it but to be thought so fixed in our habits as to be incapable of change, and perhaps thus to be strengthened in bad ones? In proportion, therefore, as I see that any one willingly labors to improve his character, and does not shun mortifications as long as they are beneficial, I consider the bent of bis mind less, and may thus, probably, appear to spare those the least whom I esteem the most. William Von Humboldt. A great man is always willing to be little. Whilst he sits on the cushion of advantages, he goes to sleep. When he is pushed, tormented, defeated, he has a chance to learn something; he has been put on his wits, on his manhood; he has gained facts; learns his ignorance; is cured of the insanity of conceit; has got moderation and real skill. The wise man always throws himself on the side of his assailants. It is more his interest than it is theirs to find his weak point. The wound cicatrizes and falls off from him like a dead skin, and when they would triumph, lo he has passed on invulnerable. As long as all that is said, is said against me, I feel a certain assurance of success. But as soon as honied words of praise are spoken for me, protected before his enemies. not succumb, is a benefactor. I feel as one that lies un- LEARNING FROM OTHERS. 97 believes that the strength and valor of the enemy he kills, passes into himself, so we gain the strength of the temptation we resist. Emerson. When we have to treat with those who spy a blot every we where, uncandid men but yet men of capacity, must not say "What signifies the opinion of that man? That man can never be pleased." True! that man can never be pleased, but it does not follow that he tells you no truth. His edge may be too keen for candor and sound judgment; yet if it lays open to me what I could not otherwise see, let me improve by its keenness. The best hints are obtained from snarling people. Cecil. To learn from the faults of others, like every intellectual way of reaching a moral truth, makes a hard character. Sir Joshua Reynolds says that he who notices only the faults of other painters, gets his head full of deformities, and has no ideal of Beauty to paint from. Attraction acts on all, and at all distances. To feel repulsion, we must be very near. It is a petty and personal feeling; or, at the best, is the protest of natural affinities against unsought proximity. Because you must have contact to enjoy heat, be not incredulous that I am warmed by radiation. Two persons can hardly set up their booths in the 98 A DIET OF COMPANY. same quarter of Vanity Fair, without interfering with, and therefore disliking each other. Do you wish to find out a person's weak points? Note the failings he has the quickest eye for in others. They may not be the very failings he. is himself conscious of; but they will be their next-door neighbors. No man keeps such a jealous look-out as a rival. Hare. Zwei Männer sind's, ich hab' es lang gefühlt, Goethe. St. Pierre says, we must have a diet of company as well as one of books. There are some minds that act as conductors to every selfish and fiery spark that lurks in human character, so that no evil is latent in their presence; and others that come in contact with no noxious element, and by the unaffected spirit of a just respect and concession, awaken only the better and happier parts of character, and take away all nourishment from the spirit of self-assertion. J. H. Thom. The people we are wont to call interesting, form a class by themselves. They are generally the most agreeable in conversation, and yet not those whom you would take to your heart. Men of the world, although intellectual and polished, often lose themselves entirely, and remain a mere |
