PART I.

GENERAL CHARACTERISTICS.

CHAP. I.

Physical Diagnostics.

THE liberal is a somewhat curious kind of animal; and few persons would be able to divine from the name alone, the real nature and characteristics of the beast. Indeed we have sometimes thought there must be a misnomer in this case; and that a wrong appellation had either been given accidentally, or else been assumed designedly for the purpose of deception. However, let us not anticipate, but rather let us progress in a straight-forward regular manner.

Well then we will begin with his physical,

corporeal, external manifestations.

And

here we may truly say, with old Horace, "Dimidium facti, qui cœpit, habet." For this part of our task, unless it be finished almost as soon as it is begun, will never be ended, the choice lies between a single sentence and a thousand volumes; there is either very little to describe, or so much that we might go on to the end of time without getting to the end of our subject. We prefer expedition, and therefore observe succinctly that the physical and corporeal peculiarities of the liberal, are, in truth, no peculiarities at all; that in short, his material outward man does not differ necessarily from the shape which flesh and blood, for the most part, assume when moulded into human form. There is, however not uncommonly a thin cadaverous look about his universal carcass, and a careworn anxious elongation of his figure-head in particular; but as this is not always present, some few liberals wearing a lusty, plump, jolly appear

ance, perhaps the leanness more generally observable may not be natural to the species, but may be only accidental to the individual. Except for this consideration we should be disposed to think that the witty and wise old Flaccus (just quoted,) had the liberal in view when he said very graphically, and very appropriately, (except as aforesaid,)

"Invidus alterius macrescit rebus opimis."

EPIST. LIB. 1, ii.

Thus, for the present, do we dismiss the

exoteric visible features of the liberal.

CHAP. II.

Traits, Moral and Intellectual.

From the hints and innuendoes contained in the foregoing chapter, it may be conjectured that we regard the liberal as a sour-visaged, crabby kind of animal. And, no doubt, many of the species do habitually bear a very close resemblance to misery boiled in vinegar. Still we are not prepared to predicate this of the class universally. No! tout au contraire, numbers of them at first sight, and upon a slender acquaintance, are uncommonly cheerful pleasant sort of people, very courteous in their demeanour, they never contradict you upon matters of no importance; but, if you venture to express an opinion opposed to theirs on religion, politics, or political economy, ten to one you

are drawn into a red-hot argument instanter. Very obliging, and very compliant, when it costs them nothing, you might imagine they would prove the best friends in the world; but try them in any way requiring something of self-sacrifice, without a quid pro quo present or prospective, and we lay any odds that in three cases out of four, they will give you palpable proof that even with liberals "number one is the first law of nature." Indeed, take them all in all, there is perhaps no set of voluntary agents, who so uniformly endeavour to combine the suaviter in modo with the fortiter in re, as your true liberals. It must not, however, be supposed that a thorough-going out-and-out liberal cannot be guilty of a little vituperation, or other nasty conduct. O, no! Put him on his metal, and he will come out like a Trojan; and, if it so pleaseth him, he will treat you to some rare specimens of the raciest Billingsgate. But, in common justice, we must expressly admit that this only happens when he is