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THE MUTUAL COMPLAINT.

My travellers are fley'd to deid

Wi' creels wanchancy, heap'd wi' bread, Frae whilk hing down uncanny nicksticks, That aften gie the maidens sic licks,

As mak them blithe to skreen their faces
Wi' hats and muckle maun bon-graces,

And cheat the lads that fain wad see
The glances o' a pauky e'e,

Or gie their loves a wylie wink,

That erst might lend their hearts a clink!
Speak, was I made to dree the ladin

O' Gallic chairmen's heavy treadin,
Wha in my tender buke bore holes
Wi' waefu' tackets i' the soals

O' broggs, whilk on my body tramp,
And wound like death at ilka clamp?

CAUSEY.

Weel crackit, friend!-It aft hauds true,

'Bout naething fouk mak maist ado.

THE MUTUAL COMPLAINT

Weel ken ye tho' ye doughtna tell,
I pay the sairest kain mysel,

Owre me, ilk day, big waggons rumble,
And a' my fabric birze and jumble.

Owre me the muckle horses gallop,

Eneugh to rub my very saul up;

And coachmen never trow they're sinnin,'
While down the street their wheels are spinnin',`
Like thee, do I not bide the brunt

O' Highland chairmens' heavy dunt?
Yet I hae never thought o' breathing
Complaint, or makin din for naething.

PLAINSTANES.

Haud sae, and let me get a word in;

Your back's best fitted for the burden:

And I can eithly tell you why,

Ye're doughtier by far than I :

For whipstanes houkit free the craigs,

May thole the prancin feet o'naigs,

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THE MUTUAL COMPLAINT.

Nor ever fear uncanny hotches

Frae clumsy carts or hackney coaches;
While I, a weak and feckless creature,
Am moulded by a safter nature.
'Wi' mason's chissel dighted neat,

To gar me, look baith clean and feat,
I scarce can bear a sairer thump

Than comes frae sole o' shoe or pump,
I grant, indeed, that now and then,
Yield to a paten's pith I maun:

But paten's though they're aften plenty,
Are

ay laid down wi' feet fou' tenty;

And strokes frae ladies, tho' they're teazin, I freely maun avow are pleasin.

For what use was I made, I wonder?. It was nae tamely to chap under The weight o' ilka codroch chiel, That does my skin to targets peel. But gin I guess aright, my trade is To fend frao skaith the bonny ladies;

THE MUTUAL COMPLAINT.

To keep the bairnies free frae harms
Whan airin i' their nurses' arms;
To be a safe and canny bield

For growin youth or droopin eild.

Tak then frae me the heavy load

O' burden-bearers heavy shod;

Or, by my troth, the gude auld town sall Hae this affair before the Council.

CAUSEY.

I dinna care a single jot ;
Tho' summon'd by a shelly-coat;
Sae lealy I'll propone defences,
As get ye flung for my expences.
Your libel I'll impugn verbatim,
And hae a magnum damnum datum:
For, tho' frae Arthur's Seat I sprang,

And am in constitution strang,

Wad it na fret the hardest stane

THE MUTUAL COMPLAINT.

Beneath the Luckenbooths to grane ?
Tho' magistrates the Cross discard,
It maks na, whan they leave the Guard,-
A lumbersome and stinkin biggin,
That rides the sairest on my riggin.
Poor me o'er meikle do ye blame,
For tradesmen trampin on your wame;

Yet a' your advocates, and braw fouk,

Come still to me 'twixt ane and twa o'Clock, And never yet were kent to range

At Charlie's Statue or Exchange.

Then, tak your beaux and macaronies;

Gie me trades' fouk, and country Johnnies;

The deil's in't gin ye dinna sign

Your sentiments conjunct wi' mine.

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