the gentleman went to Sir H. Sidney, to take his advice upon this offer, telling him, that his wife promised now a new life; and to tell him truth, five hundred pounds would come well with him; and besides that sometimes he wanted a woman in his bed. By my truth, said Sir Henry Sidney, take her home, and take the money: then whereas other cuckolds wear their horns plain, you may wear yours gilt.

36. When Rabelais, the great jester of France, lay on his death-bed, and they gave him the extreme unction, a familiar friend of his came to him afterwards, and asked him how he did? Rabelais answered, even going my journey, they have greased my boots already.

37. Mr. Bromley solicitor, giving in evidence for a deed, which was impeached to be fraudulent, was urged by the counsel on the other side with this presumption, that in two former suits when title was made, that deed was passed over in silence, and some other conveyance stood upon : Mr. Justice Catiline taking in with that side, asked the solicitor, I pray thee, Mr. Solicitor, let me ask you a familiar question? I have two geldings in my stable; I have divers times business of importance, and still I send forth one of my geldings, and not the other; would you not think I set him

aside for a jade? No, my lord, said Bromley, I would think you spared him for your own saddle.

38. Thales, as he looked upon the stars, fell into the water; whereupon it was after said, that if he had looked into the water he might have seen the stars, but looking up to the stars he could not see the water.

39. A man and his wife in bed together, she towards the morning pretended herself to be ill at ease, desiring to lie on her husband's side, so the good man to please her came over, making some short stay in his passage over, where she had not long lain, but desired to lie in her old place again; quoth he how can it be effected? She answered, come over me again. I had rather, said he, go a mile and a half about.

40. A thief being arraigned at the bar for stealing a mare, in his pleading urged many things in his own behalf, and at last nothing availing, he told the bench, the mare rather stole him, than he the mare; which in brief he thus related: that passing over several grounds about his lawful occasions, he was pursued close by a fierce mastiff dog, and so was forced to save himself by leaping over a hedge, which being of an agile body he effected; and in leaping, a mare standing on the other side of the hedge, leaped upon her back, who run

ning furiously away with him, he could not by any means stop her, until he came to the next town, in which town the owner of the mare lived, and there was he taken and here arraigned.

41. Master Mason of Trinity college, sent his pupil to another of the fellows, to borrow a book of him, who told him, I am foth to lend my books out of my chamber, but if it please thy tutor to come and read upon it in my chamber, he shall as long as he will. It was winter, and some days after the same fellow sent to Mr. Mason to borrow his bellows; but Mr. Mason said to his pupil, I am loth to lend my bellows out of my chamber, but if thy tutor would come and blow the fire in my chamber, he shall as long as he will.

42. A notorious rogue being brought to the bar, and knowing his case to be desperate, instead of pleading, he took to himself the liberty of jesting, and thus said, I charge you in the king's name, to seize and take away that man (meaning the judge) in the red gown, for I go in danger of my life because of him.

43. In Flanders, by accident, a Flemish tiler fell from the top of a house upon a Spaniard, and killed him, though he escaped himself: the next of the blood prosecuted his death with great violence, and when he was offered pecuniary recompence, nothing would serve him but lex talionis; where

upon the judge said to him, that if he did urge that sentence, it must be, that he should go up to the top of the house, and then fall down upon the tiler.

44. A rough-hewn seaman, being brought before a wise just-ass for some misdemeanour, was by him sent away to prison, and being somewhat refractory after he heard his doom, insomuch as he would not stir a foot from the place where he stood, saying it was better to stand where he was, than go to a worse place: The justice thereupon to shew the strength of his learning, took him by the shoulder, and said, thou shalt go nogus vogus, instead of nolens volens.

45. Francis the first of France, used for his pleasure sometimes to go disguised: so walking one day in the company of the cardinal of Bourbon near Paris, he met with a peasant with a new pair of shoes upon his arm: so he called unto him, and said; by our lady these be good shoes, what did they cost thee? The peasant said, guess; the king said, I think some five sols. Saith the pea

sant, you have lyed, but a carlois.

What, villain,

said the cardinal of Bourbon, thou art dead, it is the king. The peasant replied; the devil take him of you and me, that knew so much.

46. There was a young man in Rome, that was very like Augustus Cæsar; Augustus took knowedge of him, and sent for the man, and asked

him, was your mother never at Rome? He answered; no, sir, but my father was.

47. A debauch'd seaman being brought before a justice of the peace upon the account of swearing, was by the justice commanded to deposit his fine in that behalf provided, which was two shillings; he thereupon plucking out of his pocket a half crown, asked the justice what was the rate he was to pay for cursing; the justice told him, six-pence; quoth he then, a pox take you all for a company of knaves and fools, and there's half a crown for you, I will never stand changing of money. 48. Dionysius the elder, when he saw his son in many things very inordinate, said to him, did you ever know me to do such things? His son answered, no, but you had not a tyrant to your father; the rather replied no, nor you if you take these courses, will have a tyrant to your son.

49. Callisthenes the philosopher, that followed Alexander's court, and hated the king, being asked by one, how one should become the famousest man in the world, answered, by taking away him that is.

50. Agesilaus, when one told him there was one did excellently counterfeit a nightingale, and would have had him heard him, said; why, I have heard the nightingale herself.