So faster, now, you middle men, Here, tread upon the long man's toes, And punch the little fellow's ribs, He's lost them both, -don't pull his hair, But poke him in the further eye, Hark! fellows, there's the supper-bell, It's pretty sport, -suppose we take If ever they should turn me out, A treadmill of my own! THE MUSIC-GRINDERS. THERE are three ways in which men take One's money from his purse, And very hard it is to tell Which of the three is worse; But all of them are bad enough You're riding out some pleasant day, It's hard to meet such pressing friends It's very hard to lose your cash, And so you take your wallet out, Perhaps you're going out to dine,— You'll hear about the cannon-ball That carried off his pegs, He tells you of his starving wife, You're sitting on your window-seat, You hear a sound that seems to wear As if a broken fife should strive And nearer, nearer still, the tide There's something like a human voice, And something like a drum; You sit in speechless agony, Until your ear is numb. Poor "home, sweet home," should seem to be A very dismal place; Your "auld acquaintance" all at once Is altered in the face; Their discords sting through Burns and Moore, Like hedgehogs dressed in lace. You think they are crusaders, sent But hark! the air again is still, And silence, like a poultice, comes To heal the blows of sound; It cannot be,—it is,—it is, A hat is going round! No! Pay the dentist when he leaves And pay the owner of the bear That stunned you with his paw, And buy the lobster that has had But, if you are a portly man, To turn them out of town; Then close your sentence with an oath, And, if you are a slender man, Go very quietly and drop TO AN INSECT.1 I LOVE to hear thine earnest voice, Thou pretty Katydid! Thou mindest me of gentlefolks,- Thou art a female, Katydid! I know it by the trill That quivers through thy piercing notes, I think there is a knot of you O tell me where did Katy live, Or kiss more cheeks than one? I warrant Katy did no more Dear me! I'll tell you all about My fuss with little Jane, And Ann, with whom I used to walk So often down the lane, 1 Perhaps most of our readers are aware that there is an insect in America named the "Katydid," on account of its emitting a sound resembling that combination of syllables. I have been told that sometimes the insect varies its utterances into "Katydidn't."-W. M. R. And all that tore their locks of black, Ah no! the living oak shall crash, The rock shall rend its mossy base Shall add one word, to tell Whose name she knows so well. Peace to the ever-murmuring race! Shall fold in death her feeble wings Then shall she raise her fainting voice, And then the child of future years THE SPECTRE PIG. A BALLAD. IT was the stalwart butcher man And oh! it was the gentle Pig Lay stretched upon the ground, And ah! it was the cruel knife They took him then, those wicked men, And through his heels a thong; And round and round an oaken beam A hempen cord they flung, And, like a mighty pendulum, All solemnly he swung! Now say thy prayers, thou sinful man, And think what thou hast done, And read thy catechism well, Thou bloody-minded one; For, if his sprite should walk by night, It better were for thee That thou wert mouldering in the ground, Or bleaching in the sea. It was the savage butcher then It was the butcher's youngest son,- All young and ignorant was he, And, in his soft simplicity, Out spoke the tender child: "O father, father, list to me; And men have hung him by his heels, It was the bloody butcher then "O Nathan, Nathan, what's a Pig, It was the butcher's daughter then, That sobbed as if her heart would break, And thus she spoke in thrilling tone,- "Ah! woe is me! Alas! Alas! Then did her wicked father's lips |