XXIII. THE ENDEAVOR TO ATTAIN PERFECTION. -SPORTING TASTES. BATH, Nov. 17, 1767. MY DEAR LITTLE BOY, -Your last letter was so good a one that had it not been for Dr. Dodd's attestation that it was all your own, I should have thought it a translation of one of Cicero's or Pliny's, those two acknowledged standards of epistolary perfection. However, go on, and strive to attain to absolute perfection in writing, as in everything else that you do; for though absolute perfection is denied to human nature, those who take the most pains to arrive at it will come the nearest to it. The famous disturber and scourge of mankind, Charles the Twelfth of Sweden, in his low camp style used to say that by resolution and perseverance a man might do everything. . . . I own I cannot entirely agree with his Swedish Majesty; but so much I will venture to say, that every man may by unremitting application and endeavors, do much. more than at the first setting out he thought it possible that he ever could do. Learn to distinguish between difficulties and impossibilities, which many people do not. The silly and the sanguine look upon impossibilities to be only difficulties; as on the other hand the lazy and the timorous take every difficulty for an impossibility. A greater knowledge of the world will teach you the proper medium between those two extremes. I approve greatly of your father's method of shooting his game with his pen only, and heartily wish that when you have game of your own you may use no other. For my part I never in my life killed my own meat, but left it to the poulterer and butcher to do it for me. All those country sports, as they are called, are the effects of the ignorance and idleness of country esquires, who do not know what to do with their time; but people of sense and knowledge never give in to those illiberal amusements. You make me fair promises in your letter of what you will do; but remember that at the same time you give me great claims upon you, for I look upon your promises to be engagements upon the word and honor of a gentleman, which I hope you will never violate upon this or any other occasion. I have long ago and often repeated to you "qu'un homme d'honneur n'a que sa parole." God bless you. My compliments to your whole house. XXIV. THE TREATMENT OF INFERIORS. BLACK-HEATH, Tuesday. MY DEAR BOY,-You behaved yourself last Saturday very much like a gentleman, and better than any boy in England of your age would or could have done. Go on so, and when you are a man you will be with more acquaintance with the world and good company what I most earnestly wish you to be, the best bred and consequently the best liked gen tleman in England. Good breeding, and a certain suavitas morum, shines and charms in every situation of life with relation to all sorts and ranks of people, as well the lowest as the highest. There is a degree of good breeding towards those who are greatly your inferiors which is in truth common humanity and good-nature; and yet I have known some persons who in other respects were well bred brutal to their servants and dependents. This is mean, and implies a hardness of heart, and is what I am sure you never will be guilty of. When you use the imperative mood to your servants or dependents, who are your equals by nature (and only your inferiors by the malice of their fortune), you will add some softening word, such as "pray do so and so," or "I wish you would do so." You cannot conceive how much that suavity of manners will endear you to everybody, even to those who have it not themselves. In high life there are a thousand minucies of good breeding which though minucies in themselves are so necessary and agreeable as to deserve your utmost attention and imitation, as for instance what the French call" le bon ton "or "le ton de la bonne compagnie," by which is meant the fashionable tone of good company. This consists of many trifling articles in themselves which when cast up and added together make a total of infinite consequence. Observe and adopt all those little graces and modes of the best company. Suppose two men of equal abilities employed in the same business, but one of them perfectly well bred and engaging, and the other with only the common run of civility; the former will certainly succeed much better and sooner than the latter. XXV. THE FALSE PRIDE OF RANK. BLACK-HEATH, July 16, 1768. I dare say you know, and perhaps too well, that in time probably you will have a title and a good estate; but I dare say you know too that you will owe them merely to chance and not to any merit of your own, be your merit never so great. Whenever you come to the possession of them, there will be people enough mean and absurd enough to flatter you upon them. Be upon your guard against such wretches, and be assured that they must think you a fool and that they have private views to gratify by such impudent adulation. The most absurd character that I know of in the world, and the finest food for satire and ridicule, is a sublime and stately man of quality, who without one grain of any merit struts pompously in all the dignity of an ancient descent from a long, restive race of droning kings, or more probably derived to him from fool to fool. I could name many men of great quality and fortune who would pass through the world quietly, unknown and unlaughed at, were it not for those accidental advantages upon which they value themselves and treat their inferiors, as they call them, with arrogance and contempt. But I never knew a man of quality and fortune respected upon those accounts unless he was humble with his title, and extensively generous and beneficent with his fortune. "My Lord" is become a ridiculous nick-name for those proud fools, "See, My Lord comes," "There 's My Lord; " that is, in other words, "See the puppy," "There is the blockhead." I am sure you would by all means avoid ridicule, for it sticks longer even than an injury; and to avoid it, wear your title as if you had it not; but for your estate, let distress and want even without merit feel that you have one. I remember four fine lines of Voltaire upon this subject: "Repandez vos bienfaits avec magnificence, Même aux moins vertueux ne les refusez pas; By these virtues you may dignify your title when you have one, but remember that your title without them can never dignify you. Nothing is more common than pride without dignity. A man of sense and virtue will always have dignity; but a fool, if shuffled by chance into great rank and fortune, will be proud of both. There is as much difference between pride and dignity as there is between power and authority. Power may fall to the share of a Nero or a Caligula, but authority can only be the attendant of the confidence mankind have in your sense and virtue. Aristides and Cato had authority. |