loved. They are substantial, every day's wear. Wit is for les jours de gala, where people go chiefly to be stared at. XI. RAILLERY, MIMICRY, WAGS, AND WITLINGS. Dec. 28, 1765. MY DEAR LITTLE BOY, -There is a species of minor wit which is much used and much more abused, — I mean Raillery. It is a most mischievous and dangerous weapon when in unskilful or clumsy hands, and it is much safer to let it quite alone than to play with it; and yet almost everybody does play with it, though they see daily the quarrels and heart-burnings that it occasions. In truth it implies a supposed superiority in the railleur to the raillé; which no man likes even the suspicion of in his own case, though it may divert him in other people's. An innocent raillerie is often inoffensively begun but very seldom inoffensively ended, for that depends upon the raillé, who if he cannot defend himself well grows brutal, and if he can, very possibly his railleur, baffled and disappointed, becomes so. It is a sort of trial of wit in which no man can patiently bear to have his inferiority made appear. The character of a railleur is more generally feared and more heartily hated than any one I know in the world. The injustice of a bad man is sooner forgiven than the insult of a witty one. The former only hurts one's liberty or property, but the latter hurts and mortifies that secret pride which no human breast is free from. I will allow that there is a sort of raillery which may not only be inoffensive but even flattering, as when by a genteel irony you accuse people of those imperfections which they are most notoriously free from and consequently insinuate that they possess the contrary virtues. You may safely call Aristides a knave, or a very handsome woman an ugly one; but take care that neither the man's character nor the lady's beauty be in the least doubtful. But this sort of raillery requires a very light and steady hand to administer it. A little too rough, it may be mistaken into an offence, and a little too smooth, it may be thought a sneer, which is a most odious thing. There is another sort, I will not call it of wit, but rather of merriment and buffoonry, which is mimicry; the most successful mimic in the world is always the most absurd fellow, and an ape is infinitely his superior. His profession is to imitate and ridicule those natural defects and deformities for which no man is in the least accountable, and in their imitation of them make themselves for the time as disagreeable and shocking as those they mimic. But I will say no more of these creatures, who only amuse the lowest rabble of mankind. There is another sort of human animals called wags, whose profession is to make the company laugh immoderately, and who always succeed provided the company consist of fools, but who are greatly disappointed in finding that they never can alter a muscle in the face of a man of sense. This is a most contemptible character and never esteemed, even by those who are silly enough to be diverted by them. Be content both for yourself with sound good sense and good manners, and let wit be thrown into the bargain where it is proper and inoffensive. Good sense will make you be esteemed, good manners be loved, and wit give a Ilustre to both. proper object of raillery it seems to be a coxcomb, as an usurper of the common rights of mankind. But here some precautions are necessary. Some wit and great presumption constitute a coxcomb, for a true coxcomb must have parts. The most consummate coxcomb I ever knew was a man of the most wit, but whose wit, bloated with presumption, made him too big for any company, where he always usurped the seat of empire and crowded out common sense. Raillerie seems to be a proper rod for these offenders, but great caution and skill are necessary in the use of it or you may happen to catch a Tartar as they call it, and then the laughers will be against you. The best way with these people is to let them quite alone and give them rope enough. On the other hand there are many and perhaps more who suffer from their timidity and mauvaise honte, which sink them infinitely below their level. Timidity is generally taken for stupidity, which for the most part it is not, but proceeds from a want of education in good company. Mr. Addison was the most timid and awkward man in good company I ever saw, and no wonder, for he had been wholly cloistered up in the cells of Oxford till he was five and twenty years old. La Bruyère says, and there is a great deal of truth in it, "qu'on ne vaut dans ce monde que ce que l'on veut valoir; for in this respect mankind show great indulgence and value people at pretty near the price they set upon themselves, if it be not exorbitant. I could wish you to have a cool intrepid assurance with great seeming modesty, never démonté and never forward. Very awkward timid people who have not been used to good company are either ridiculously bashful or absurdly impudent. I have known many a man impudent from shamefacedness, endeavoring to act a reasonable assurance and lashing himself up to what he imagines to be a proper and easy behavior. A very timid bashful man is annihilated in good company, especially of his superiors. He does not know what he says or does and is in a ridiculous agitation both of body and mind. Avoid both these extremes and endeavor to possess yourself with coolness and steadiness. Speak to the King with full as little concern (though with more respect) as you would to your equals. This is the distinguishing characteristic of a gentleman and a man of the world. The way to acquire this most necessary behavior is, as I have told you before, to keep company, whatever difficulty it may cost you at first, with your superiors and with women of fashion, instead of taking refuge as too many young people do in low and bad company in order to avoid the restraint of good breeding. It is, I confess, a pretty difficult, not to say an impossible thing, for a young man at his first appearance in the world and unused to the ways and manners of it, not to be disconcerted and embarrassed. When he first comes into what is called the best company, he sees that they stare at him, and if they happen to laugh he is sure that they laugh at him. This awkwardness is not to be blamed, as it often proceeds from laudable causes, from a modest diffidence of himself and a consciousness of not yet knowing the modes and manners of good company; but let him persevere with a becoming modesty and he will find that all people of good nature and good breeding will assist and help him out instead of laughing at him, and then a very little usage of the world and an attentive observation will soon give him a proper knowledge of it. It is the characteristic of low and bad company, which commonly consists of wags and witlings, to laugh at, disconcert, and as they call it bamboozle a young fellow of ingenuous modesty. You will tell me perhaps that to do all this one must have a good share of vanity; I grant it, but the great point is ne quid nimis, for I fear that Monsieur de la Rochefoucault's maxim is too true, 66 que la vertu n'iroit pas loin, si la vanité ne lui tenoit pas compagnie." A man who despairs of pleasing |