de l'usage du monde, dont je vous parlerai fort souvent dans la suite; mais en attendant, cherchez a plaire autant que vous le pourrez, et faites vos petites remarques de tout ce qui vous plait ou vous deplait dans les autres, et comptez qu'a peu pres les mêmes choses en vous plairont ou deplairont aux autres. Pour les moyens de plaire, ils sont infinis, mais je vous les developperai peu a peu selon que votre âge le permettra, a present je me contenterai, si vous prenez une forte resolution de plaire autant que vous le pourrez. Sacrifiez toujours aux Graces. VII. FLAT CONTRADICTION A PROOF OF ILL BREEDING. AN EPIGRAM.-SIMILES AND METAPHORS. July 13, 1764. I shall sometimes correspond with my giddy little boy in English,1 that he may not be a stranger to his own language; for though it is very useful and becoming to a gentleman to speak several languages well, it is most absolutely necessary for him to speak his own native language correctly and elegantly, not to be laughed at in every company. It is a terrible thing to be ridiculous, and little things will make a man so. For instance, not writing nor spelling well makes any man ridiculous, but above all things being ill bred makes a man not only ridiculous but hated. I am sure you know that it is 1 Many of Lord Chesterfield's earlier letters to his godson were written in French. your most important moral duty to do to others what you would have them do to you; and would you have them civil to you and endeavor to please you? To be sure you would; consequently it is your duty as well as your interest to be civil to, and to endeavor to please, them. There is no greater mark of ill breeding than contradicting people bluntly, and saying, "No," or " It is not so ;" and I will give you warning that if you say so, you will be called Phil Trott, of Mansfield, and perhaps you would never get off of that name as long as you live, for ridicule sticks a great while. When well-bred people contradict anybody, they say, instead of "No," "I ask pardon, but I take it to be otherwise," or "It seems to me to be the contrary; " but a flat "No" is as much the same as saying " You lie ; for which if you were a man you would be knocked down, and perhaps run through the body. To refresh your English, I send you here a pretty little gallant epigram, written upon a lady's fan by the late Bishop of Rochester, Dr. Atterbury. "Flavia the least and slightest toy It wounds us more than Cupid's bow, This epigram you see turns upon the flame of love, which is a common metaphor used by lovers, and the coolness that fanning gives. But you will naturally ask me what is a metaphor, and I will tell you that it is a short simile, but then what is a simile? A simile is a comparison, as for example, if you should say that Charles the Twelfth of Sweden was as brave as a lion, that would be a simile, because you compare him to a lion; but if you said that Charles the Twelfth was a lion, that would be a metaphor, because you do not say that he was like a lion, but that he was a lion. Do you understand this? Good-night, my little boy; be attentive to your book, well bred in company, and alive at your play. Be totus in illis. VIII. DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD THEY SHOULD DO UNTO YOU. BATH, Nov. 7, 1765. MY DEAR LITTLE BOY, The desire of being pleased is universal; the desire of pleasing should be so too, it is included in that great and fundamental principle of morality, of doing to others what one wishes that they should do to us. There are indeed some moral duties of a much higher but none of a more amiable nature, and I do not hesitate to place it at the head of what Cicero calls the "leniores virtutes." The benevolent and feeling heart performs this duty with pleasure, and in a manner that gives it at the same time; but the great, the rich, and the powerful too often bestow their favors upon their inferiors in a manner that they bestow their scraps upon their dogs, so as neither to oblige man nor dog. It is no wonder if favors, benefits, and even charities, thus ungraciously bestowed, should be as coldly and faintly acknowledged. Gratitude is a burden upon our imperfect nature, and we are but too willing to ease ourselves of it, or at least to lighten it as much as we can. The manner therefore of conferring favors or benefits is as to pleasing almost as important as the matter itself. Take care, then, never to throw away the obligations which you may perhaps have it in your power to lay upon others, by an air of insolent protection, or by a cold, comfortless, and perfunctory manner, which stifles them in their birth. Humanity inclines, religion requires, and our moral duty obliges us to relieve as far as we are able the distresses and miseries of our fellow creatures; but this is not all, for a true, heartfelt benevolence and tenderness will prompt us to contribute what we can to their ease, their amusement, and their pleasure as far as innocently we may. Let us then not only scatter benefits but even strew flowers for our fellow travellers in the rugged ways of this wretched world. There are some, and but too many in this country more particularly, who without the least visible taint of ill-nature or malevolence seem to be totally indifferent, and do not show the least desire to please, as on the other hand they never designedly offend. Whether this proceeds from a lazy, negligent, and listless disposition, from a gloomy and melancholic nature, from ill health and low spirits, or from a secret and sullen pride arising from the consciousness of their boasted liberty and independency, is hard to determine, considering the various movements of the human heart, and the wonderful errors of the human mind; but be the cause what it will, that neutrality which is the effect of it makes these people, as neutralities always do, despicable, and mere blanks in society. They would surely be roused from this indifference, if they would seriously consider the infinite utility of pleasing, which I shall do in my next. IX. ON SELF-COMMAND. BATH, Dec. 12, 1765. MY DEAR LITTLE BOY,- If you have not command enough over yourself to conquer your humor, as I hope you will and as I am sure every rational creature may have, never go into company while the fit of ill humor is upon you. Instead of companies diverting you in those moments, you will displease and probably shock them, and you will part worse friends than you met. But whenever you find in yourself a disposition to sullenness, contradiction, or testiness, it will be in vain to seek for a cure abroad; stay at home, let your humor ferment, and work itself off. Cheerfulness and good humor are of all qualifications the most amiable in company, for though they do not necessarily imply good-nature and good breeding, they act them at |