pleasures of life. I sacrifice such a conveniency to you, you sacrifice another to me; this commerce circulates, and every individual finds his account in it upon the whole. The third sort of good breeding is local and is variously modified in not only different countries but in different towns of the same country. But it must be founded upon the two former sorts; they are the matter to which, in this case, fashion and custom only give the different shapes and impressions. Whoever has the two first sorts will easily acquire this third sort of good breeding, which depends singly upon attention and observation. It is properly the polish, the lustre, the last finishing stroke of good breeding. It is to be found only in capitals, and even there it varies, the good breeding of Rome differing in some things from that of Paris; that of Paris in others from that of Madrid; and that of Madrid in many things from that of London. A man of sense, therefore, carefully attends to the local manners of the respective places where he is and takes for his models those persons whom he observes to be at the head of fashion and good breeding. He watches how they address themselves to their superiors, how they accost their equals, and how they treat their inferiors; and lets none of those little niceties escape him which are to good breeding what the last delicate and masterly touches are to a good picture, and of which the vulgar have no notion, but by which good judges distinguish the master. He attends even to their air, dress, and motions, and imitates them liberally and not ser

vilely; he copies but does not mimic. These personal graces are of very great consequence. They anticipate the sentiments before merit can engage the understanding; they captivate the heart, and gave rise I believe to the extravagant notions of charms and philters. Their effects were So surprising that they were reckoned supernatural. The most graceful and best-bred men and the handsomest and genteelest women give the most philters, and as I verily believe without the least assistance of the devil. Pray be not only well dressed but shining in your dress; let it have du brillant; I do not mean by a clumsy load of gold and silver, but by the taste and fashion of it. Women like and require it; they think it an attention due to them. But on the other hand if your motions and carriage are not graceful, genteel, and natural, your fine clothes will only display your awkwardness the more. But I am unwilling to suppose you still awkward, for surely by this time you must have catched a good air in good company. When you went from hence you were naturally awkward, but your awkwardness was adventitious and Westmonasterial. Leipsic, I apprehend, is not the seat of the Graces, and I presume you acquired none there. But now if you will be pleased to observe what people of the first fashion do with their legs and arms, heads and bodies, you will reduce yours to certain decent laws of motion. You danced pretty well here and ought to dance very well before you come home; for what one is obliged to do sometimes one ought to be able to do well. Besides, la belle

danse donne du brillant à un jeune homme, and you should endeavor to shine. A calm serenity, negative merit and graces, do not become your age. You should be alerte, adroit, vif; be wanted, talked of, impatiently expected, and unwillingly parted with in company. I should be glad to hear half a dozen women of fashion say, "Où est donc le petit Stanhope? Que ne vient-il? Il faut avouer qu'il est aimable." All this I do not mean singly with regard to women as the principal object, but with regard to men and with a view of your making yourself considerable. For with very small variations the same things that please women please men, and a man whose manners are softened and polished by women of fashion and who is formed by them to an habitual attention and complaisance, will please, engage, and connect men much easier and more than he would otherwise. You must be sensible that you cannot rise in the world without forming connections and engaging different characters to conspire in your point. You must make them your dependants without their knowing it, and dictate to them while you seem to be directed by them. Those necessary connections can never be formed or preserved but by an uninterrupted series of complaisance, attentions, politeness, and some constraint. You must engage their hearts if you would have their support; you must watch the mollia tempora, and captivate them by the agrémens and charms of conversation. People will not be called out to your service only when you want them; and if you expect to receive strength from them,

they must receive either pleasure or advantage

from you.

XLI.

GOOD BREEDING IMPORTANT IN DIPLOMACY. — CIV

ILITY TOWARD WOMEN.
FROM ARCHITECTURE.

ILLUSTRATION DRAWN

[No date.]

DEAR BOY, My last was upon the subject of good breeding, but I think it rather set before you the unfitness and disadvantages of ill breeding than the utility and necessity of good; it was rather negative than positive. This therefore should go further and explain to you the necessity which you of all people living lie under, not only of being positively and actively well bred but of shining and distinguishing yourself by your good breeding. Consider your own situation in every particular and judge whether it is not essentially your interest by your own good breeding to others to secure theirs to you; and that, let me assure you, is the only way of doing it; for people will repay, and with interest too, inattention with inattention, neglect with neglect, and ill manners with worse, which may engage you in very disagreeable affairs. In the next place your profession requires more than any other the nicest and most distinguished good breeding. You will negotiate with very little success if you do not previously by your manners conciliate and engage the affections of those with whom you

are to negotiate. Can you ever get into the confidence and the secrets of the Courts where you may happen to reside, if you have not those pleasing, insinuating manners which alone can procure them? Upon my word I do not say too much when I say that superior good breeding, insinuating manners, and genteel address are half your business. Your knowledge will have but very little influence upon the mind if your manners prejudice the heart against you; but on the other hand, how easily will you dupe the understanding where you have first engaged the heart! and hearts are by no means to be gained by that mere common civility which everybody practises. Bowing again to those who bow to you, answering dryly those who speak to you, and saying nothing offensive to anybody is such negative good breeding that it is only not being a brute. It is an active, cheerful, officious, seducing good breeding that must gain you the good will and first sentiments of men and the affections of the women. You must carefully watch and attend to their passions, their tastes, their little humors and weaknesses, and aller au devant. You must do it at the same time with alacrity and empressement, and not as if you graciously condescended to humor their weaknesses.

For instance, suppose you invited anybody to dine or sup with you, you ought to recollect if you had observed that they had any favorite dish and take care to provide it for them: and when it came you should say, "You seemed to me at such and such a place to give this dish a preference, and therefore I