a thing, it would have provoked any body, would it not, madam ? Indeed, madam, it would, says she again; poison me, should never have borne with it. I Truly madam, says the lady, I did not bear with it long, I tried to break him of it a good while; but when I found it was to no purpose, I told him my mind very plainly, and in short, this is the reason of our parting. Poison me, madam, says the companion, and a good reason too. Wife. And now my brother wants to have me go home again, and beg my husband's pardon,-and because I won't do it, he falls upon me like a fury. Comp. Who? Sir Richard, madam? Poison him, nobody minds what he says. Wife. Yes, and my lady too, she has been upon my back. Comp. Aye, poison her, she is a mighty wise busy thing too, she knows nothing of the matter; she only says as Sir Richard bids her. Wife. Now, madam, would you advise me to go back to my husband upon such terms as these? Comp. Go back, madam,-no, poison him, you ought never to go near him till he gives you satisfaction. This was a companion now to her heart's content; in such conversation you may be sure her separate condition began to be very easy to her, and she began to have a perfect aversion to her husband; nay, so natural was this foolish, empty, flattering conversation of her new companion's grown to her, that she began to be infected with her language; and if any body talked of her husband, or of her going back to her husband, she would frequently answer, he should be poisoned first. In the middle of all this, and as if she was now brought to a right disposition for affronting the tenderest husband that ever woman had, a messenger brought her word one morning that her husband was come to the house to see her, and was below stairs. The story of the honest gentleman's being come from London, his resolution to find out bis wife, and to use all possible means to persuade her to return to him, is reserved to another place; only it is proper to observe, that he came prepared with all the calmness and affection that he was capable of, to invite her home, and that all things might be forgotten between them; and, in a word, to do even more than became him, to win and engage her to him again. She was surprised very much when she heard he was below stairs; and had she not had an evil spirit at her elbow in her wicked adviser, she had certainly gone down to him, and home with him,-nay, had she done the first, she could not have resisted the last,-he resolved to treat her with so much affection, and such passionate persuasions, that she must have been a tyrant to herself, and a very monster of her sex, if she had refused him. But in the very juncture this creature comes into her chamber: Oh! madam, says she to her new companion, who do you think is below? Comp. I can't imagine; but you look surprised, I warrant it is Sir Richard let me go down to him. if it be, you shall not see him ; Wife. No, no, it is not Sir Richard, I assure you. Comp. Your husband! poison him, that is impossible. Why he is at London, madam. Wife. Why I thought so too; but it seems he is come back, and has sent for me; what shall I do, madam? I intreat you advise me. Comp. Do! poison him, you shall not see him. Wife. I think had I not best see him? what would you advise me to? Comp. By no means; he wants to have you go home, he should be poisoned first: no, no, madam, if you let him have you too cheap, he will make you pay for it too dear. No, poison him, he should go home as wise as he came. Wife. I am of your mind, I will not see him; here Betty, go down and tell Mr. I cannot be spoke with. [She calls in the servant.] Betty. Madam, have they told you how long he has been here? He has waited above an hour already; and if I say you cannot be spoke with, he will stay longer. Wife. Well, well, do you as I bid you, or go and call my cwn maid to me. Betty. Yes, Madam. [Betty goes and calls her own maid. Here, Susan, says she, go to your mistress, I think she is stark mad; your master is come a purpose to her, and she will not be spoke with; for my part I cannot carry the poor gentleman such a message, not 1; so your mistress bids me call you.] [Says Susan, I will go to her, but I will not carry such a message to my master, I'll assure her.] Susan. Madam, did you want me? Wife. Yes, yes, go down and see who that is wants me, and tell them I am indisposed, and cannot be spoke with. Susan. Indisposed, Madam! why, it is my master! I wonder Betty should not tell you who it was all this while; he has stayed this hour and more all alone.] Wife. Your master, you fool; your master is at London. Susan. Madam, I hope you'll believe I know my master when I see him; I am sure I spoke to him. Wife. Spoke to him! and what did you say? Susan. Why, Madam, he asked me how you did, and 1 told him you were very well; then he asked me if you were up; and I told him, up, Sir, yes, a great while ago; and that you were up and dressed: then he asked me if you were busy, or had any body with you? and I told him you were not busy, you were doing nothing but drinking a dish of tea. could I say else? You know, Madam, it is all true; what Comp. Poison you, for a dull jade, could not you have run at first, and have asked your mistress what you should have said. Susan. I might have done so indeed, Madam; but my master came in before I was aware: but what could my mistress have bid me say to such questions as those? Comp. Why, you fool you, poison you, you might have said, your mistress was not at home, could not ye? You know she did not desire to see him. Susan. Madam, I will serve my mistress as faithfully as any body; but I cannot lie for my mistress. Comp. Cannot you, hussy, then poison me, if I would give six-pence a year for such a servant. Susan. Others will, Madam, nay, some ladies will give six-pence a year the more for a servant on that very account, than they will for another. Comp. They are fit for nothing, that cannot speak their mistress's mind. Susan. Madam, you will be pleased to remember that those servants who will tell a lie for you will tell a lie to you. Comp. It is no matter for that. Susan. Well, Madam, it is my misfortune, perhaps, but I cannot do it; and if I am not fit for your service, I am for the place I am in, I hope, and I am very easy; I de sire no better a mistress. Wife. Well, what must we do? She has said I am well, I am up, I am dressed, I am at leisure; what can I say next. Comp. Say! poison him, send him word plainly you have no business with him, and you will not be spoke with. Wife. Well, let it be so then; go, Susan. [Susan falls a crying.] Comp. What ails the fool? Wife. Go, Susan. [Susan cries, but does not go.] Comp. Can't you go, you fool, and deliver your message as your mistress orders you? Susan. If I had as little respect for my mistress as you have, Madam, I could; but I can't see my mistress ruined, and be the tool to help it forward. Comp. You are a saucy wench, poison you; if you were my servant, I'd turn you out of doors this minute. Susan. I had rather be turned out of doors than deliver such a message to my master; I wish I had been turned out of doors before I came into your house; I am sure you will be the ruin of my mistress. Wife. Hold your tongue, and go down, and say as 1 bid you. Susan. Indeed, Madam, I love your service, and will do any thing to oblige you; but I beg you would not let me go on such an errand. Comp. Come, Madam, servants will be saucy, I'll go myself, I warrant you I'll send him packing; he shall trou. ble you no more here. so? [She goes down.] Susan. O dear, Madam, how can you use my master [Susan cries.] Wife. How do I use him? Susan. Why, to let this devil of a woman go down to hector and bully him, when he comes so kindly to see you! Did not you tell me, Madam, that you only wanted him to come after you, and you would go home again? Wife. Well, but my mind is altered now; that is none of your business. Susan. Such power has bad counsel, Madam, where it is listened to! Can this wicked woman be sensible of the mischiefs that will follow this, Madam? Have you not two poor innocent children at home, left without a mother? Have not you disobliged Sir Richard and all your friends |