THE OLD CHEESE.

YOUNG Slouch the farmer had a jolly wife
That knew all the conveniencies of life,
Whofe diligence and cleanliness fupply'd
The wit which Nature had to him deny'd,
But then she had a tongue that would be heard,
And make a better man than Slouch afeard:
This made cenforious perfons of the town
Say Slouch could hardly call his soul his own ;
For if he went abroad too much, she'd use
To give him flippers and lock up his fhoes.
Talking he lov'd, and ne'er was more afflicted
Than when he was difturb'd or contradicted;
Yet ftill into his ftory fhe would break

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With 'Tis not fo-Pray give me leave to speak."
His friends thought this was a tyrannick rule,
Not diff'ring much from calling of him fool,
Told him he must exert himself, and be

In fact the master of his family.

He faid "That the next Tuesday noon would show "Whether he were the lord at home or no,

"When their good company he would entreat "To well-brew'd ale and clean if homely mcat." With aking heart home to his wife he goes, And on his knees does his rafh act disclose, And prays dear Sukey that one day at least. He might appear as mafter of the fcaft.

Volume II.

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I'll grant your wish," cries fhe, " that you may fee "Twere wisdom to be govern'd ftill by me."

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The guests upon the day appointed came, Each bowfy farmer with his fimp'ring dame. "Ho, Su!" cries Slouch, "why doft not thou appear? "Are these thy manners when aunt Snap is here ?” "I pardon afk," fays Su; "I'd not offend

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Any my dear invites, much lefs his friend."

Slouch by his kinfman Gruffy had been taught 35 To entertain his friends with finding fault, And make the main ingredient of his treat His faying "There was nothing fit to eat: "The boil'd pork ftinks, the roast beef is not enough, "The bacon is rufty, and the hens are tough; "The veal is all rags, the butter is turn'd to oil, "And thus I buy good meat for fluts to spoil. ""Tis we are the firft Slouches ever fat "Down to a pudding without plums or fat.

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"What teeth or ftomachis ftrong enough to feed 45

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Upon a goofe my grannum kept to breed?

"Why muft old pigeons, and they stale, be drest,
"When there is fo many fquab ones in the nest?
"This beer is four, this mufty thick and fiale,
"And worse than any thing except the ale.",

Su all this while many excufes made;
Some things fhe own'd; at other times the laid
The fault on chance, but oft'ner on the maid.

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Then Cheese was brought. Says Slouch, "This e'en

"fhall roll;

"I'm fure it is hard enough to make a bowl: 55

"This is fkimmilk, and therefore it fhall go;
"And this because it is Suffolk follow too."

But now Su's patience did begin to waste,
Nor longer could diffimulation last.

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Pray let me rife," fays Su, “my Dear! I'll find "A Cheese perhaps may be to Lovy's mind.” Then in an entry standing close, where he Alone and none of all his friends might fee, And brandishing a cudgel he had felt, And far enough on this occafion felt, "I'll try, my Joy!" the cry'd, "if I can please My dearest with a taste of his Old Cheese !" Slouch turn'd his head, faw his wife's

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'svig'rous hand Wielding her oaken fapling of command; Knew well the twang. "Is'ttheOldCheefemy Dear!" "No need, no need of Cheefe," cries Slouch; "I'l

"fwear

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"I think I've din'd as well as my Lord Mayor!".

THE SKILLET.

Two neighbours, Clod and Jolt, would marry'd be,
But did not in their choice of wives agree.

Clod thought a cuckold was a monstrous beast,
With two huge glaring eyes and spreading crest,

Therefore refolving never to be such,

Marry'd a wife none but himself could touch.
Jolt thinking marriage was decreed by Fate,
Which fhews us whom to love and whom to hate,
To a young handfome jolly lass made court,

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And gave his friends convincing reasons for 't, ΙΟ
That fince in life fuch mischief must be had
Beauty had fomething ftill that was not bad.
Within two months Fortune was pleas'd to send
A tinker to Clod's houfe with "Brafs to mend."
The good old wife furvey'd the brawny spark, 15
And found his chine was large tho' count'nance dark.
First the appears in all her airs, then tries
The fquinting efforts of her am'rous eyes.
Much time was spent and much defire expreft;
At laft the tinker cry'd, "Few words are best:
"Give me that Skillet then; and if I'm true
"I dearly earn it for the work I do."

They 'greed; they parted. On the tinker goes
With the fame stroke of pan and twang of nose,
Till he at Jolt's beheld a fprightly dame
That fet his native vigour all on flame.
He looks, fighs, faints, at last begins to cry,
"And can you then let a young tinker die?"
Says he, "Give me your Skillet then and try."
"My Skillet! both my heart and Skillet take;
"I wish it were a copper for your fake.”

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After all this not many days did pafs Clod fitting at Jolt's houfe furvey'd the brafs And glitt'ring pewter standing on the shelf, Then after fome gruff mutt'sing with himself Cry'd," Pr'ythee, Jolt, how came that Skillet thine!" "You know as well as 1," quoth Jolt; "it'en't mine; "But I'll afk Nan." 'Twas done: Nan told the matter In truth as itwas; then cry'd, “You've got the better; "For tell me, Deareft! whether you would chufe 40 "To be a gainer by me or to lofe?

"As for our neighbour Clod, this I dare fay, "We've Beauty and a Skillet more than they." 43

THE FISHERMAN.

Toм Banks by native industry was taught
The various arts how fishes might be caught.
Sometimes with trembling reed and single hair,
And bait conceal'd, he 'd for their death prepare,
With melancholy thoughts and downcaft eyes
Expecting till deceit had gain'd its prize.
Sometimes in riv'let quick and water clear
They'd meet a fate more gen'rous from his fpear.
To basket oft' he 'd pliant ofiers turn,

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Where they might entrance find but no return:
His net well pois'd with lead he 'd sometimes throw,
Encircling thus his captives all below: