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that we could manufacture the com- the difference in the world. In the modity cheaper and better than she third place, Knickerbocker celebrates, could do for herself. How far some with all his might, that invaluable of these impressions may continue class of writers, who, knowing that still unobliterated, we shall not very Noah had only three sons, and that scrupulously define ; but, this far we the earth has four quarters, set themwill go, that, if America will pledge selves most laudably to explain, what herself to be forthcoming, every other history and even tradition are silent lustrum, with a work of equal merit upon, nainely, the manner in which with the present, we, on our parts, the three great pillars of pulation, will be content to forswear many of after having learned the languages at our prejudices of oldest standing, and Babel, sallied forth and conducted to concede that her capabilities are their increasing and multiplying squamuch more extensive than we had drons, to continents, islands, isthhitherto conjectured.
muses, peninsulas, promontories, and The reader who expects to find, in creeks ;-across vast oceans, dangerthe volume before us, a bona fide his ous straits, rapid rivers, rugged mountory of New York, and nothing more, tains, and all the other forms of phyis nearly as much to be pitied as the sical difficulties that must have obman, who, in order to study a system structed and impeded their course, as of lunar natural history, pored, night they proceeded to such remote, but and day, over the celebrated theorem delectable, quarters as Greenland, Noof Herschel, and when he found him- va Zembla, Spitzbergen, and Kamsself making but scurvy progress, be- chatka ; and, what is worse than all, took himself to a close examination of without map, chart, or compass. In " tides, madmen, and sea-crabs, the last place, our author indulges the legitimate objects of lunar in- himself, very improperly we admit, fluence. The fact appears to be, that in a general tirade against the whole the book has been written for the tribe of historians, chroniclers, and purpose of throwing strong ridicule expounders of past events, whom he on the labours of the following high- not only taxes with interminably proly meritorious classes of philosophers lix prosings about the physical forand authors: In the first place, the mation and subsequent population of writer of this book, for reasons best this unfortunate globe of earth and known to himself, has launched the water, and with masses of learned full force of his derision against that nonsense on the affiliation of nations, formidable corps of sages, denoininat- but, when they do come to facts, with ed nam boxiv, the creationists, who distorting and disguising them to suit seem to believe that they possess, in
some sinister and dishonourable purtheir laboratories, the anima mundi, pose, dwelling on things of no‘imcorked up and sealed, like Asmodeus portance, and huddling up those of in the magician's bottle, and who, if real moment, so that no mortal can you take them at their own word, distinguish the truth ; exaggerating, must have been of counsel during the apologising, defending, softening, exa whole of the six days' work. In the tenuating, not according to individual second place, he grins most bitterly at a merit or demerit, but as the impulse very ingenious and convincing class of of faction, or the love of the marvelspeculators, who, regarding the bib- lous, may happen to decide. lical story as by far too simple and In the ample volume of subject intelligible for such sublime wits, thus unfolded, the author finds full set about proving it to be altoge- scope for the exercise of his unconther fabulous, because, forsooth, it mon talents, and of his ironical huhas not said one word of the won- mour; and as nothing grave, serious, derful comet, which, they allege, or sacred, is, for one instant, the butt produced the deluge, and because it of his satire, but, on the contrary, the has most audaciously and falsely as fooleries and absurdities of men, wheserted that “ God made of one flesh ther considered as writers, governors, all the kindreds of men that dwell on citizens, or actors in the mighty drama the face of the earth"-a most unpar- of human life, we may be allowed to donable and rash allegation, consider- express the satisfaction with which ing that one portion of men are black we have travelled along with him in and another white, which makes all the execution of his plan, and the
pleasure we have derived from ob- bustible imagination. According to his serving the tact, dexterity, and skill opinion, the huge mass of chaos took a sud. with which he has availed himself of den occasion to explode, like a barrel of cvery thing that promised to facilitate gunpowder, and in that act exploded the the furtherance of his object. Si fos sun.which in its flight, by a similar con
vulsion, exploded the earth which in like ret in terris, rideret Democritus. Like the work of Geoffrey Crayon, concatenation of explosions, the whole solar
guise exploded the moon--and thus by a Gent. that of the relloubted Diedrich system was produced, and set most systeKnickerbocker contains some finished matically in motion! and graphical portraitures of the man By the great variety of theories here Ters of the bon vicur temps, as con- alluded to, every one of which, if thoroughtrasted with those of the present day. ly examined, will be found surprisingly Without being exactly a landator consistent in all its parts, my unlearned temporis acti, honest Diedrich dwells, readers will, perhaps, be led to conclude,
that the creation of a world is not so dif. with much apparent satisfaction, on the primitive simplicity and still life ficult a task as they at first imagined. I
have shown at least a score of ingenious that reigned undisturbed in the hal methods in which a world could be concyon days of the olden time, when the structed ; and I have no doubt
, that had sovereignty of Wouter Van Twiller, any of the philosophers above quoted the sirnamed Wouter the Doubter, was use of a good manageable comet, and the exercised in moderating the factious philosophical warehouse chaos at his com. feuds of Tough Breeches and Ten mand, he would engage to manufacture a Breeches, and in establishing his un- planet as good, or, if you would take his doubted right to the glorious title of word for it
, better than this we inhabit
. Father of his Country. But we must
“ And here I cannot hely noticing the now introduce the author to our read- kindness of Providence, in creating comiets ers, and allow him to speak for himself. for the great relief of bewildered philoso. Our readers will please to remem
phers. By their assistance more suddea
evolutions and transitions are effected in ber, that as the learned Diedrich the system of nature than are wrought in a Knickerbocker has undertaken to
pantomimic exhibition by the wonder-workwrite the history of New York from ing sword of Harlequin. Should one of the earliest period of which we have our modern sages, in his theoretical flights any authentic accounts, namely, from among the stars, ever find himself lost in the creation of the world, downwards the clouds, and in danger of tumbling inin a direct line to the end of the Dutch to the abyss' of nonsense and absurdity, he dynasty, he is, therefore, in duty bas but to seize a comet by the beard, bound, to tell somewhat of that
mount astride of its tail, and away he galmorable era at which his researches lops in triumph, like an enchanter on his
hippogriff, or a Connecticut witch on her commence. After reviewing, a va, broonistick, to sweep the cobwebs out of riety of world-building theories, all the sky.” of them cunningly devised, (fables,) " It is an old and vulgar saying, about he proceeds to sum up the case, as the a beggar on horseback, which I would lawyers would say, and, after a word not for the world have applied to these rein passing to "that learned Tbeban,” verend philosophers; but I must confess Dr Darwin, recounts the wants, ne- that some of them, when they are mounted cessities, and bountiful provisions of on one of those fiery steeds, are as wild in Providence in favour of philosophers. When he aspired to manage the chariot of
their curvettings as was Phaeton of yore, “ But I pass over a variety of excellent Phæbus. One drives his comet at fall theories, among which are those'of Burnet, speed against the sun, and knocks the world and Woodward, and Whitehurst ; regret out of him with the mighty concussion ; ting extremely that my time will not suffer another, more moderate, makes his comet me to give them the notice they deserve- a kind of beast of burden, carrying the sun and shall conclude with that of the renown. a regular supply of food and fagots ; a ed Dr Darwin. This learned Theban, third, of more combustible disposition, who is as much distinguished for rhyme as threatens to throw his comet like a bomb. reason, and for good natured credulity as
shell into the world, and blow it up like a scrious research, and who has recommend- powder magazine ; while a fourth, rith no ed himself wonderfully to the good graces great delicacy to this planet and its inhabisof the ladies, by letting them into all the ants, insinuates that some day or other his gallantries, amours, debaucheries, and other comet-my modest pen blushes while I topics of scandal of the court of Flora, has write it shall absolutely turn tail upon fallen upon a theory worthy of his com our world, and deluge it with water
Surely, as I have already observed, comets even in the Dutch speculations of the were bountifully provided by Providence eccentric Knickerbocker, to garnish a for the benefit of philosophers, to assist new edition of his much perused, much them in manufacturing theories.” pp. abused, and certainly highly meritori47–50.
ous work, which has at last, we perceive, After a most learned enumeration called down the wrath of Mr Godwin, of the honours and appellations be- corked up in his phials for so many stowed, by the grateful nations of an- years, in a very thick unreadable-looktiquity, on the great Father of Navi- ing octavo, the look of which has, in gation, whom the Chaldeans honour- truth, been enough for us. But what ed under the appellation of Xieu- delights us most is to think how edified thrus,—the Egyptians as Osiris,--the Mr Pinkerton must feel, when he disa Indians as Menu, -the Greeks and covers the notice taken en passant of Romans as Ogyges, -the Thebans as his most satisfactory suppositions, and, Deucalion,-and the Chinese as Fohi, above all, when he learns, that his
-our author proceeds to unfold the ingenious and truly original device of reason “ why America did not come a bridge of chains or pontoons over so early into the world as the other Behring's Straits, is not found to have quarters of the globe."
been at all necessary to account for 66 Noah, we are toid by sundry very
the population of the youngest quar
ter of the globe. While we are on credible historians, becoming sole survive ing heir and proprietor of the earth, in fee this part of our author's performance, simple, after the deluge, like a good father,
we must confess, however, that we portioned out his estate among his children. have met with nothing in the course To Shem he gave Asia ; to flam, Africa ; of our reading for a long time past, and to Japhet, Lurope. Now it is a thou- half so pithy, rational, and decisive, sand times to be lamented that he had but as the following argument of that three sons, for had there been a fourth, he bluff old Jesuit, Charlevoix, who, it would doubtless have inherited America; appears, had studied a system of lowhich of course would have been dragged gie astonishingly different from that forth from its obscurity on the occasion, faught by the more learned and ora and thus many a hard working historian
thodox metaphysicians of modern and philosopher would have been spared a
times. prodigious mass of weary conjecture re
“ The inhabitants of both specting the first discovery and population hemispheres," says the dogmatical faof this country. Noah, however, having ther, “ are certainly the descendants provided for his three sons, looked in all of the same parent. The common faprobability upon our country as mere wild ther of mankind received an express unsettled land, and said nothing about it; order from heaven to people the and to this unpardonable taciturnity of the world, and accordingly it has been patriarch may we ascribe the mistortune, peopled. To bring this about, it was that America did not come into the world necessary to overcome all difficulties as early as the other quarters of the globe.” in the way, and they have also been
overcome. The whole of book fourth, chapter With regret we prætermit much first, we would, with all becoming interesting matter relative to the voyhumility and submission, recommend ages of that renowned argonaut Hudto the consideration of Mr Malthus, son, and his good ship the Goede as being well calculated to afford him Vrouw, also to the new right got up some new light regarding the princi- in modern times, and found in some ples of population, and more particu- late editions of Puffendorff, Grotius, larly on that most puzzling problem, and Vattel, called the right of discothe present distribution of men on the very-to the bickerings and feuds of face of the earth. We have not for- Tough Breeches and Ten Breeches gotten that this learned and reverend and sundry other particulars illustraauthor is more famous for having tive of the internal administration of concerned himself about feeding and government during the most smoking procreation, than about the post lilu- period of the Dutch dynasty. As our vian wanderings of olul Noah's paid- limits are narrowing apace, we must off crews; but, at the same time, we content ourselves with one short exhave no inanner of doubt, that as the tract, which, we hope, will be read bee extracts honey from every flower, with advantage by some of the stateso Mr Malthus might find soinewhat, cobblers among ourselves.
But as Peter Stuyvesant had a singu- thyself to the vocation for which heaven Lar inclination to govern his province with. has fitted thee-But," elevating his voice out the assistance of his subjects, he felt until it made the welkin ring, if ever I highly incensed, on his return, to find the catch thee, or any of thy tribe, meddling factious appearance they haul assumed dur. again with affairs of government, by St Ni. ing his absence. His first measure, there. colas, but I'll have every mother's bastard fore, was to restore perfect order, by pro- of ye flea'd alive, and your hides stretched strating the dignity of the sovereign peo- for drum-heads, that ye may thenceforth ple.
make a noise to some purpose !" “ He accordingly watched his opportu
pp. 431-436. nity, and one evening when the enlighten. ed mob was gathered together, listening to
Here, however unwillingly, we a patriotic speech from an inspired cobler, must stop, and we shall only add, the intrepid Peter all at once appeared a. that, although there has existed, both mong them, with a countenance sufficient in this country and America, a feeling to petrify a millstone. The whole meet- of mutual exasperation, which has ing was thrown into consternation—the been carefully cherished and embitterorator seemed to have received a paralytic ed by the factious of both countries, stroke in the very middle of a sublime and which has led to recrimination, sentence, and stood aghast with and trembling knees, while the words hor. detraction, and calumny, beyond what ror! tyranny! liberty rights ! taxes! could have been credited in an age so death destruction ! and a deluge of other enlightened as the present; yet we are patriotic phrases, came roaring from his delighted to think, that, with the return throat before he had power to close his lips. of peace, more liberal and generous The shrewd Peter took no notice of the sentiments have begun to manifest skulking throng around him, but, advanc- themselves, and that the rational and ing to the brawling bully-ruffian, and draw. the intelligent on both sides of the Ating out a huge silver watch, which might lantic are now exerting themselves to have served in times of yore as a town. diffuse a spirit of reciprocal forbearance clock, and which is still retained by his de; and good will, and to prove to the people scendants as a family curiosity, requested that their substantial interests are much the orator to mend it, and set it going. The orator humbly confessed it was utterly out
more closely connected than interests of his power, as he was unacquainted with ed, fuctious, and venal scribblers had the nature of its construction. « Nay, but," formerly taught them to believe. said Peter, try your ingenuity, man: you There cannot, indeed, be a prouder see all the springs and wheels, and how testimony to the spirit of national li. easily the clumsiest hand may stop it, and berality, by which this great country pull it to pieces ; and why should it not be is distinguished, than the unexampled equally easy to regulate as to stop it?' The rapidity of the sale of these American orator declared that his trade was wholly productions, and it is with no slight different that he was a poor cobbler, and satisfaction that we can lay claim to had never meddled with a watch in his life have been among the first journalists --that there were men skilled in the art, in this island who were sensible of whose business it was to attend to those matters; but for his part, he should only
their great merit, and who, without mar the workmanship, and put the whole hesitation, predicted their success: If in confusion- Why, harkee, master of we had had room, we should have mine,' cried Peter, turning suddenly upon aduled to our present Number, from him, with a countenance that almost petri- the second volume of the Sketch Book, fied the patcher of shoes into a perfect lap- some of those fine Christmas scenes stone, dost thou pretend to meddle with which naturally at this time attract us, the movements of government-o regu. and which are so beautifully illustralate, and correct, and patch, and cobble, a tive of old English manners. We shall, complicated machine, the principles of however, find room for them in our which are above thy comprehension, and its simplest operations too subtle for thy late. The Christmas pye, we rejoice
next, and they will not then be too understanding, when thou canst not correct a trifling error in a common piece of me- to believe, lingers on throughout Jachanism, the whole mystery of which is nuary. At present, we must be satisopen to thy inspection ?-Hence with thee fied with merely wishing our readers to the leather stone, which are emb ms every happiness and blessing of the of thy head ; cobble thy shoes, and confine season !
LITERARY AND SCIENTIFIC INTELLIGENCE.
Northern Expedition.-Lieutenant Parry, names in honour of Major Rennell, Capwho so ably conducted the voyage to the tain Sabine, and others. Polar Sea, has been raised to the rank of Among the curious discoveries made Captain in the Navy. The details of the was an American musk ox, on Melville voyage, so far as have transpired, may be Island, the principal of the groupe of iscomprised in a few words. The Hecla and lands in a cove of which this enterprising Griper arrived at the entrance of Lancaster navigator wintered in 1819. This animal Sound on the 1st of August 1819, pro. has a large head and shaggy mane, resemceeded directly over Captain Ross's chart bling the lion. It was the only one of the of land, and reached the parallel of 740 species seen during the stay of the expedior 75°, or 114° or 115° west, about 550 tion at that island. A white hare was the miles farther than Captain Ross asserted only small animal which was met with. the Polar Sea to be navigable. In 90° It was found upon another island. Parthey fell in with islands which continued tridges were seen in great numbers, and successively till they reached the extreme the newly discovered islands also abound. westerly point of one nearly in 1150. ed with florescent plants of different unWinter overtook them here, and they turn- known species. The huts, of which some ed back several degrees, and wintered in vestiges remain, are presumed to have bea snug harbour in five fathoms water. On longed to some Esquimaux, whom chance the breaking up of the ice this season ate or enterprise may have carried into these tempts were made to proceed westerly; inhospitable regions. Numerous dresses, but immense barriers of ice, from the Polar canoes, &c. &c. have also been brought Sea to the northward, precluded all hope over from Baffin's Bay, which are conof succeeding in the parallel of 74°, and structed with astonishing natural genins, before they could return to the eastward, industry, and neatness. and renew the attempt in a lower latitude, We mentioned the only serious casualty the navigable season, which is confined to which befel during the wintering of the August and a few days in September, of crews in those high latitudes. Neverthefered no reasonable chance of succeeding less the cold was so intense, that the utthis year. The existence of a Polar Sea to most care was necessary to prevent fatal the westward of Hearne's River is now in- consequences. An idea of this may be formcontestibly established, and the existence ed from the fact, that a servant of Capof a north-west passage demonstrated, tain Sabine's, on some alarm of fire, ran though perhaps not available for commer. into the air without covering his hand-it cial purposes. In 90° the compasses were was immediately frost-bitten, and the poor nearly useless. What Captain Ross laid fellow lost three of his fingers. down in his map as the Croker Mountains, The ships were roofed over during the was found to be an open channel 40 miles winter, and the crews did not, as reported, broad. The cold during the winter was erect huts on shore. Melville's Island was excessive, the thermometer descending to however explored by hunting parties, and 55° below Zero. Beer, wine, and spirits Captain Parry crossed it, and was absent became ice ; the beer was destroyed, but for three weeks together. It is reckoned the wine and spirits were tolerably good about 150 miles long, and from 30 to 40 when thawed. The vessels are entitled to broad. It is also supposed that the whole the L. 5000 reward for having gone to a sea north of the American continent is longitude beyond 110° west of Greenwich. broken into islands.
On the north side of Barrow's Sound, A singular phenomenon was observed the voyagers discovered a broad channel, relative to the magnet, which held a variaup which they could not descry any land, tion of 120° west, and only of about 150 though the weather was clear and favo:ir- miles farther, of 120° east, plainly proving, able. To the land bounded on the west that in the course the ship took it had got by this unexplored channel, and on the round the Magnetic Pole. The ice in the south by the Sound, the name of New De harbour where Captain Parry wintered invon was given. Nearly opposite the chan- creased to about seven feet ; but he found nel, i. e. on the south side of the Sound, the ice westward to be upwards of 40 feet, they met with another broad inlet, (nearly which effectually stopped him, as he had no as broad it seemed as the Sound itself,) on chance of cutting his way through such an which the name of Regent's Inlet was be immense body, for 500 miles, into Behstowed. The expedition sailed up this in- ring's Straits. let a considerable way. The land opposite Many whales and seals were seen, but to New Devon was denominated New So no natives, nor any traces of human beings. merset. Other places discovered received the ships were out 18 months, having