1 ture. No, no, said they; we have a bad life enough of it here; and At length, a very daring, ambitious devil, of the name of Belphegor,!. said he would go. The whole infernal public were astonished; but they agreed that if it were, possible for any devil to do such a thing, Belphegor was he. It was thought that he had a private commission from Proserpine, and that Pluto was not sorry to wink at the cause of his departure. He was a sprightly devil, who could play on the ser.. pent, and wrote verses with a great deal of fire: accomplishments, which got him occasional admittance to Pluto's s table. He would! make experiments upon the flames about him; and was suspected of holding an heretical opinion upon the possibility of getting used to s any thing. The credit of his orthodoxy was not strengthened by his actually setting out. Pluto conferred on him the shape, in which a devil of his agreeable turn of mind would have appeared had he been a mauso It was something betwixt the jovial and melancholy, very amiable. He looked like one of the most agreeable gentlemen of the time. The public waited with some impatience for his appearance out of Proserpine's apartments, whither he had gone to kiss hands on leaving Pandemonium. At last my gentleman comes forth. Their spectators set up a shout, like that of a myriad of coal-heavers. Belphegor takes off his hat, with an air as if he had been used to it all his life; and it is observed universally, that if Belphegor is not happy in wedlock, there must be something worse than the devil in it.men obwod 15 3 It was settled, in order to do every thing fairly, 1st, That if our hero lit upon a wife more than usually wifely, she should die with reasonable celerity, and leave him another chance; 2dly, That he should not i return to hell without orders, upon pain of some rare punishment; and 3dly, That he should emerge in England, as the place where marriage was held in the gravest repute. Accordingly, he made his ap pearance in the British metropolis, as a young gentleman of fortune; and soon found that an alliance with him would be regarded in a very b estimable point of view. darling the adened) od ozidi and w After admiring the beauty of the women, which he thought nevertheless a little too cold-looking (a fancy at once odd and pardonable in a devil), the thing that most astonished him in this exemplary and very married nation, was to find, that the sarcasm of Pluto's counsel was as common here as elsewhere, that nothing was of such ordinary oc Jelenorum quam od tod noge bowolsed currence as the ridicule of wedlock, sometimes bitter, sometimes merry, often between both. A grave and seemingly approving ear was lent in public when it was praised;a panegyric on it in a sentimental comedy met with applause; but the applause was double, when another comedy abused it. Husbands and wives joked each other upon their: bonds, with the air of people who break the force of a satirical truism by meeting it. In the shops were pictures of Before Marriage and After Marriage, the former exhibiting a lover helping his mistress over a style, the latter the same gentleman walking on, and leaving the lady to get over by herself. Belphegor overheard a knot of persons one day disputing whether this was a caricature; but they all agreed that the spirit of it was like enough. "Generally like," said one," eh, Jack?" Jack seemed to be the melancholy wag of the party, and said, that the present company always excepted, he thought, for a general resemblance, it was particularly like. ་ per These symptoms were not at all encouraging to our hero; so that having been told to do what others did, he availed himself of the letter of his instructions somewhat beyond the spirit of their intention, and amused himself as much as possible in the character of a bachelor. He dressed, dined, lounged in the coffee-houses, went to the theatres, visited in the most respectable circles, and was understood to be well acquainted with a description of ladles, whom nevertheless it was not proper to mention. It was even supposed probable that he had for nislied his quantum of maid-eervants and others to that class of p sons, and scattered a considerable portion of misery about town, without at all diminishing his receptability among the said circles; a phe noménion, which in so grave and reputable a nation he would have placed to the account of an error of charity, had he not observed; as we have just hinted, that if the most serious ladies shewed no con tempt for himself, they evinced d good deal for the class whom He Was thought likely to have increased. He also saw, that they would expect very different conduct from him, should one of them honour him with her hand; and that if he might like the worst, and deceive the very best of the sex now, it would go hard with him should he then desire to evincé a grateful sense of the most admirable of women,qod Captain Lovell however (for he had purchased a company under i this name) had received a due portion of man's nature with his shape; and he was induced to hasten the period of matrimony, partly by an express from Pluto, and partly by his falling in love with a young lady of reasonable beauty and accomplishments, who appeared‹ to him as likely as any body to render the married state happy a phrase indeed which was often in the mouths of her parents. The Cdplain married; and for three or four months was the happiest devit existing. He met with occasional instances of petulance and selfus will; but these, he thought, were pardonable in one who made him sở › happy in the main; and he was resolved not to be the first to create a rupture. If the lady could not bear him out of her sight, if only proved the excess of her fondness; and if she began by degrees to bear · it better, he was convinced that she did it solely for his comfort, by the sweetness with which she received the new dresses and trinkets he bestowed upon her to make amends. If he You must know that Captain Lovell, being a devil, (as the ladies occasionally startled his ear by calling him) had acquired by dint of suffering what humanity often attains to by the same means. He hated monopoly, and loved to see fair play both in the distribution of pains and pleasures. The first thing that gave him a seriously uneasy sensation about his wife, was to see so gentle a creature capable of scolding her servants. He remonstrated, and was scolded himself. The next night he stayed out longer then usual, and was welcomed home with a long lecture which perfectly stunned him. The words he could chiefly distinguish, alkbut one, were, creatures-honest wife→→→ is this usage?-tender heart-plagues of servants-other women (with great stress on other)-my husband (with still greater stress on my)— duty-decency-lawful-usual fate-defy any body-religion-and chastity. The one word in particular was virtue; which she used in common for the last mentioned quality. He afterwards found that whenever she charged him with any vice, or was guilty of any herself, she had a special taste for repeating the same synonym. looked with fondness on any lady with a frank, good humoured face, his wife was sure to doubt the lady's " 'virtue," and to remind him of her own. If she exhibited any petty selfishness in eating and drinking, or laying out money, or exacting too much of others, and suspected that he observed it, she sighed at the fate which denied the least privilege or consolation to "virtue." If she was a little insincere with him, or pettish with others, and he reproved her for it (for he began now to reprove, on his own side), she delighted to tell him, with a very malignant aspect, that such petty fault would not be found with any body but a person of "virtue." If she was in the mood to be fond with him, and he had not quite got over her last peroration, she wept and said that love was no longer considered a duty; no longer a holy tie; no longer the reward of “ virtue." He was one day so provoked by her harping upon this favourite word, that he turned on his heel, and exclaimed, with great gusto of utterance, "Damn virtue!" The lady sat down, pale, smiling, and satisfied. Well!" she exclaimed; "if"The Captain did not stay to hear the rest. He knew what that Well portended, too well. Captain Lovell fell into conversation with his brother officers on the subject of this virtue. He had laid as much stress on it as any man, particularly as he had led a very gay life, and thought it very difficult to keep. But he now began to suspect, that the difficulty was no such great matter, if ladies made up for it with all these privileged vices; that if it were, it put on a very unpleasant aspect, so managed ;—and that at all events, the system deserved inquiry, which made so many virtuous men and women disagreeable as well as respectable, so many vicious women pleasant and despised, and such numbers of both descriptions extremely miserable. He started the question at the mess, but the officers, though incorrigible profligates, were equally inexorable in their theories of virtue. If their wives and mistresses they said, were not faithful, they could shoot them through the head." But," said Lovell," suppose they become disagreeable." “Oh, damu it," said the Colonel," there are plenty of agreeable women, for that matter;" upon which they all laughed, and toasted a favourite demirep." But," returned Lovell," is that fair in us? Is, it fair in us to make our wives disagreeable with our theories, to insist, that they shall remain so for our credit forsooth, and then to leave them for those whom we teach them to despise ?"The mess all stared at him, as widely as the port in their eyes would permit." Oh, pray go home, and instruct your's, Tom," said the Colonel: " you a much too profligate for us. My compliments, however. And I say? (hallooing after him) "remember, in the event of a reformation, I'm your man,”-2015) are Lovell went home, much more ruffled than became a dæmon of his vivacity; but his earthy nature clogged him, and he began to wish himself heartily rid of it. He sat down opposite his wife, and though, he had a grudge against Milton for what he called his trucklings about.. Pandammonium, could not help repeating after him, O shame to men! Devil with devil damued' 20 Firm concord trold, men only disagréé." The lady did not at all relish this apostrophe; but she had been inexil pectedly softened by his coming home so soon; and asking him to read a little to her out of that “ truly divine poet," she went to the book an case and took down a volume of him, intending (we must own) that ↑ he should shame himself with reading the conjugal loves of Adam and Exe. Unluckily, she happened to hit upon one of his prose instead of i poetical works; and what was more unlucky, the Captain, opening it at random, hit upon a passage in his Doctrine and Discipline of Dise vore, where in spite of his divinity, he says that personal infidelity in s a woman is not so good a ground for separation as ill temper and other, vices of antipathy, because she may still remain a very pleasing and even affectionate woman in the main, whereas the other vices totally; cut up the happiness of a wedded life. After sitting dumb with asto-d nishment at hearing such a quotation from Milton (which the Captain maliciously showed her, to convince her eyes) the lady ended a long and vehement, dispate by charging him with wishing to corrupt her virtue, in order to furnish excuses for himself. There had been little" / peace before. There was now an uninterrupted cannonade of hard words. The gentleman was the most wonderful, the most amazing, the very meanest of mankind for deliberately wishing to pander to his own, dishonour she was astonished at him-she was, overwhelmed ; shen,short, for the first time in her life, she wanted words," On the other hand, the lady was "the most provoking of women for eter nally beginning the question, to indulge her own silly mistakes, cursed a ill humours, spleen, vanity, envy, hatred, and malice, and all uncha ritableness." P The Captain not having been used to this sort of torture in the othern world, had much the worst of it. Ilis wife could talk, though she said nothing. She also piqued herself more than ever upon her "virtue," whereas he had nothing to boast on that, score. By degrees, her neglected his affairs, and grew melancholy and slovenly. His credit tors came upon him; but the lady would not go out of the house, 1 because she said he did it on purpose to get rid of her. At length he sold his commission, and absconded. Our hero looked hard at every person he met in black, hoping that The brought him the summons to return to hell; but he was disappointed. He was therefore obliged to content himself with hiding from his creditors; for though he had lived so long in the infernal regions, he could not bear the idea of hailiffs and lock-up houses. One day, being hot pressed with the pursuit, he made known the earthly part of his history to a countryman. The peasant, in spite of his deaf wife's objections, who saw she knew but half the secret, concealed him faithfully; and the Captain-in return, undertook to make his for- tune. The rustic laughed at this. "Nay, nay, Muster Lovell,” said he, "there's no making a zilk purse of zow's ear. I judge I beez better able to make fortunes nor you; and God he knows, I'm as poor as Job ; and for that matter," added he, winking towards his wife, "as patient too; eh, Captain ?" Belphegor (for so we shall again call him) did not much relish this sally, for obvious reasons; not to mention that his natural pride, as a devil, began to return upon him from a comparison with mortals. However he adhered to his promise. He therefore disclosed his real quality to the terrified countryman, whom he had much ado to encourage. A good deal of ale, and some toasts given to the church (which made the man think him too good natured a devil, considering the tithes) succeeded in re-assuring him. Our hero undertook to go to the continent, and possess a German prince, whom the farmer was to follow and cure. The latter gave out, that in consequence of some experiments with dogs, he had found a marvellous remedy for disorders connected with phrensy; and as a previous step, Belphegor pitched himself into a censorious old lady in the village, who began talking of the farmer with such extraordinary fondness, that it was thought better to send for him in his new capacity. He came ac sea, cordingly, and wrought a cure which was reckoned the more surprising, inasmuch as the old lady, from that day forward, became extremely charitable in her discourse. On the day of the cure, Belpheger crossed and pitched himself into the German prince. His Majesty was taken with a very odd fancy. He was a huge, fat man, very profligate; and yet fell into long discourses on his exceeding thinness and integrity. Nothing relieved him so much as making him presents of shoes and gloves too small for him, measuring waists to see which was the larger, and making bold to say, that, if any thing, he was somewhat too slender and amiable for a man. He had already been seized with a notion, that his wife (a sort of harum-scarum, but excellent-hearted person) was not as genteel and virtuous as himself; and for this Belphegor had a pique against him, both on account of the mistake, and of the man's making it so ridiculous. He accordingly entered him in all his triumph, and rendered his behaviour so exceedingly fantastic and absurd, that his very courtiers were ready to die with laughter. The rustic doctor, as he anticipated, was sent for. His fame had spread rapidly by means of the newspapers; and his second cure, being upon a prince's understanding, of course outdid in reputation his first. His method electrified the physicians. He merely ap |