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body of Cæsar; I shall never do it, sure; upon mine honnour, and by St. George; no I ha'nt the right grace. Well. But soft, where's Mr. Matthew? gone. Brain. No, sir; they went in here.

Well. O, let's follow them: master Matthew is gone to salute his mistress in verse. We shall have the happiness to hear some of this poetry now. He never comes unfurnish'd. Brain-worm ?

Step. Brain-worm; where? is this Brain-worm?

E. Kno. Ay, cousin, no words of it, upon your gentility.

Step. Not I, body of me! by this air, St. George, and the foot of Pharaob!

Well. Rare! your cousin's discourse is simply drawn out with oaths.

E. Kno. 'Tis larded dressing, if you love it.

with 'em. A kind of French Come, let's in. Cousin, cousin.

SCENE iv.

A Hall in Justice CLEMENTS House.

Enter KITELY and Coв.

[Exeunt.

Kite. Ha! how many are there, say'st thou? Cob. Marry, sir. your brother, master Well-bredKite. Tut, beside him: what srangers are there, man? Cob. Strangers let me see; one, two; mass, I know not well, there are so many.

Kite. How! so many.

Cob. Ay, there's some five or six of them, at the most. Kite. A swarm, a swarm!

Spite of the devil, how they sting my head

With forked stings, thus wide and large! But Cob,

How long hast thou been coming hither, Cob?

Cob. A little while, sir.

Kite Did'st thou come running?

Cob, No, sir.

Kite. Nay, then I am familiar with thy hast!

Pane to my fortunes: what meant I to marry?
1, that before was rank'd in such content,
My mind at rest too in so soft a piece,

Being free master of my own free thoughts,
And now become a slave? what, never sigh;
Be of good cheer, man, for thou art cuckold:
'Tis done, 'tis done! nay, when such flowing store,
Plenty itself, falls into my wife's lap,

The Cornucopia will be mine, I know. But Cob,
What entertainment had they? I am sure

My sister and my wife would bid them welcome! ha?
Cob. Like enough, sir; yet I heard not a word of it.
Kite. No; their lips were seal'd with kisses, and the
Drown'd in a flood of joy at their arrival;

Had lost her motion, state, and faculty.

Cob, which of them was't that kiss'd my wife? (My sister, I should say) my wife, alas ?

I fear not her: ha? who was it, say'st thou ?

[voice,

Cob. By my troth, sir will you have the truth of it?
Kite. Ay, good Cob, I pray the heartily.

Cob. Then I am a vagabond, and fitter for Bridewell, than your worship's company, if I saw any body to be kiss'd, unless they wou'd have kiss'd the post in the middle of the warehouse; for there I left 'em all, at their tobacco, with a pox!

Kite. How were they not gone in then, ere thou

cam'st?

Ccb. O, no, sir!

Kite. Spite o' the devil! what do I stay here then? Cob, follow me. [Exit.

Cob. Nay, soft and fair, I have eggs on the spit.. Now am I for some five and fifty reasons hammering, hammering revenge: nay, an' he had not lain in my house, 'twould never have griev'd me; but, being my guest, one that I'll be sworn I lov'd and trusted; and he to turn monster of ingratitude, and strike his lawful host! well, I hope to raise up an host of fury for't. I'll to justice Clement for a warrant. Strike his lawful host!

[Exit.

ACT

A C T. IV.

SCENE. I.

A Roon in KITELY'S House.

Enter DowN-RIGHT. and Dame KITELY.

DOWN-RIGHT.

W ELL, sister, I tell you true: and you'll find it so,

in the end.

Dume. Alas, brother, what would you have me to do? I cannot help it; you see my brother brings 'em in here, they are his friends.

Down. His friends? his friends! 'Slud they do nothing but haunt him up and down, like a sort of unlucky sprites, and tempt him to all manner of villainy, that can be thought of. Well, by this light, a litt e thing would make me play the devil with some of 'em; and 'twere not more for your husband's sake, than any thing else I'd make the house too hot for the best on 'em; they should say, and swear, hell were broken loose ere they went hence. But, by God's will, 'tis nobody's fault but yours; for an' you had done, as you might have done, they should have been parboil'd and back'd too, every mother's son, ere they should ha' come in e'er a one of 'em.

Dame. God's my life! did ever you hear the like? what a strange man is this! could I keep out all them, think you? I should put myself against half a dozen of men, should I? good faith, you'd mad the patient'st body in the world to hear you talk so without any sense or reason!

Enter Mrs. BRIDGATE, Mr. MATTHEW WELL-BRED STEPHEN. Ed. KNO'WELL, BOBADIL. and CASH.

Bridge. Servant, in troth, you are too prodigal Of your wit's treasure, thus to pour it forth,

Upon so mean a subject as my worth.

Mat. You say well, inistress; and I mean as well.
Down. Hay-day, here is stuff!

Well. O, now stand close: pray heav'n she can get him to read; he shou.d do it of his own natural impudence. Bridge. Servant, what is this same, I pray you?

Mat.

7 Vol. 1

Mat. Marry, an elegy, an elegy, an old to—I'll read it if you please.

Bridge. Pray you do, servant.

Down. O, here's no foppery! death, I can endure the stccks better.

E. Kno. What ails my brother? can he not bear the reading of a ballad.

Well. O, no; rhime to him is worse than cheese, or a bagpipe. But, Mark, you lose the protestation.

Bob. Master Matthew, you abuse the expectation of your dear mistress, and her fair sister; fie, while you live, avoid this preplexity.

Mat. I shall, sir.

Rare creature, let me speak without offence,
Would beav'n my rude words bad the influence
To rule thy thoughts, as thy fair looks do mine,
Then should'st thou be bis prisoner, who is thine.

[Master Stepben answers with shaking his head. E. Kno. 'Slight, he shakes his head like a bottle, to feel an' there be any brain in it!

Well. Sister, what ha' you here? verses? Pray you, let's see. Who made these verses? they are excellent

good.

Mat. O, master Well-bred, 'tis your disposition to say so, sir. They were good i' the morning, I made 'cm extempore this morning.

Well. How, extempore?

Mat. I would I might be hang'd else: ask captain Bobadil. He saw me write them at the- -(pox on it) the star yonder.

Step. Cousin, how do you like this gentleman's verses? E. Kno. O, adinirable the best that ever I heard, coz! Step. Body o' Cæsar! they are admirable !

The best that ever I heard, as I am a soldier.

Down. I am vext, I can hold ne'er a bone of my stile! heart, I think they mean to build and breed here.

Well. Sister Kitely. I marvel you get you not a servant than can rhime, and do tricks too.

Down Oh, monster! impudence itself, tricks! come, you might practice your ruffian-tricks somewhere else, and not here, I wuss: this is no tavern, nor drinking-school, to vent your exploits in.

Well.

Well. How now! whose cow was calv'd?

Down. Marry, that has mine, sir. Nay, boy, never look askance at me for the matter; I'll tell you of it, ay, sir; you and your companions, mend yourselyes, when I ha done.

Well. My companions?

Down. Yes, sir, your companions, so I say, I am not afraid of you nor them neither; your hang-bys here. You must have your poets, and your potlings, your Soldados and Foolados, to follow you up and down the city, and here they must come to domineer and swagger. Sirrah, you, ballad-singer, and Slops, your fellow there, get you out; get you home: or, by this steel, I'll cut off your ears, and that presently.

Well. 'Slight, stay let's see what he dare do: cut off his ears! cut a whetstone. You are an ass, do you see; touch any man here, and by this hand, I'l run my rapier to the hilts in you.

Down. Yea, that I would fain see, boy.

[They all draw, and they of the house make out to part

them.

Dame. O, Jesu! murder! Thomas, Gasper!

Bridg. Help, help, Thomas.

E. Kno. Gentlemen, forbear, I pray you.

Bob. Well, sirrah, you, Holofernes; by my hand, I will pink your flesh full of holes with my rapier, for this; I will by this good heav'n: nay, let him come, gentlemen, by the body of St. George, I'll not kill him.

[They offer to fight again, and are parted. Casb. Hold, hold, good gentlemen.

Down. You whorson, bragging coistril !

Enter KITLEY.

Kite. Why, how now? what's the matter? what's the

stir he e.

Put up your weapens, and put off this rage.

My wife and sister, they are the cause of this:

What Thomas, where is the knave?

Casb. Here, sir.

Well. Come, let's go; this is one of my brother's ancient humours this.

[Exit.

Step. I am glad nobody was hurt by his ancient humour.

[Exit.

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