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soft tears of joy, at the discovery of their true papas in the palaces of Versailles and St. Jaines's, or perhaps in the regiments of guards.

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FACE-PAINTING.

As I am desirous of beginning the new year well, I shall devote this paper to the service of my fair countrywomen, for whom I have so tender a concern, that I examine into their conduct with a kind of parental vigilance and affection. I sincerely wish to approve, but at the same time am determined to admonish and reprimand, whenever, for their sakes, I may think it necessary. I will not, as far as in me lies, suffer the errors of their minds to disgrace those beautiful dwellings in which they are lodged; nor will I, on the other hand, silently allow the affectation and abuse of their persons to reflect contempt and ridicule on their understandings.

Native, artless beauty has long been the peculiar distinction of my fair fellow subjects. Our poets have long sung their genuine lilies and roses, and our painters have long endeav oured, though in vain, to imitate them: beautiful nature mocked all their art. But I am now informed by persons of unquestioned truth and sagacity, and indeed I have observed but too many instances of it myself, that a great number of those inestimable originals, by a strange inversion of things, give the lie to their

poets, and servilely copy their painters; degrad ing and diguising themselves into worse copies } of bad copies of themselves. It is even whispered about town of that excellent artist, Mr. Liotard, that he lately refused a fine woman to draw her picture, alleging that he never copied any body's works but his own and God Almighty's.

I have taken great pains to inform myself of the growth and extent of this heinous crime of self-painting,—I had almost given it a harder name,—and I am sorry to say, that I have found it to be extremely epidemical. The present state of it, in its several degrees, appears to be this:

The inferior class of women, who always ape their betters, make use of a sort of roughcast, little superior to the common lath and plaster, which comes very cheap, and can be afforded out of the casual profits of the evening.

The class immediately above these paint Occasionally, either in size or oil, which, at sixpence per foot square, comes within a moderate weekly allowance.

The generality of women of fashion make use of a superfine stucco, or plaster of Paris highly glazed, which does not require a daily renewal, and will, with some slight occasional repairs, last as long as their curls, and stand a pretty strong collision.

As for the transcendent and divine powder, with an exquisite varnish superinduced to fix it, it is by no means common, but is reserve

for the ladies not only of the first rank, but of the most considerable fortunes; it being so very costly, that few pin moneys can keep a face in it, as a face of condition ought to be kept. Perhaps the same number of pearls whole might be more acceptable to some lovers, than in powder upon the lady's face.

I would now fain undeceive my fair coun trywomen of an error, which, gross as it is, they too fondly entertain. They flatter themselves that this artificial is not discoverable or

distinguishable from native white. But I beg leave to assure them, that, however well prepared the colour may be, or however skilful the hand that lays it on, it is immediately discover ed by the eye at a considerable distance, and by the nose upon a nearer approach; and I overheard, the other day, at the coffee-house, Captain Phelim M'Manus complaining, that, when warm upon the face, it had the most nauseous taste imaginable. Thus offensive to three of the senses, it is not probably very inviting to a fourth. •

Talking upon this subject lately with a friend, he said, that, in his opinion, a woman who painted white gave the public a pledge of her chastity, by fortifying it with a wall, which she must be sure that no man would desire either to batter or scale. But, I confess, I did rot agree with him as to the motive, though I did as to the consequences; which are, I believe, in general, that they lose both operam et oleum.

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I have observed that many of the sagacious landlords of this great metropolis, who let lodgings, do, at the beginning of the winter, new vamp, paint, and stucco the fronts of their ehouses, in order to catch the eye of passengers,

and engage lodgers. Now, to say the truth, I u cannot help suspecting that this is rather the real motive of my fair countrywomen, when he they thus incrust themselves. But, alas! those le outward repairs will never tempt people to inbequire within. The cases are greatly different; in the former they both adorn and preserve, in the latter they disgust and destroy.

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acquaintance and friend of mine, whose opinion I shall here most faithfully relate.

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When I had stated my case to him as clear ly as I was able, he stroked his chin for some time, picked his nose, and hemmed thrice, in order to give me his very best opinion. publishing the names at full length in your paper, I humbly conceive, said he, that you avoid all the troublesome consequences of innuendoes. But the present question, if I apprehend it aright, seems to be, whether you may thereby be liable to any other action or actions, which, for brevity's sake, I will not here enumerate. Now, by what occurs to me off-hand and without consulting my books, I humbly -apprehend that no action will lie against you: but, on the contrary, I do conceive, and indeed take upon me to affirm, that you may proceed against these criminals, for such I will be bold to call them, either by action or indictment the crime being of a public and a heinous nature. Here is not only the suppressio veri, which is highly penal, but the crimen falsi too. An action popular, or of qui tam, would cer tainly lie; but, however, I should certainly prefer an indictment upon the statutes of forgery, 2 Geo. II. cap. 25, and 7 Geo. II. cap. 22; for forgery, I maintain it, it is. The fact, as you well know, will be tried by a jury, of whom one moiety will doubtless be plasterers; so that it will unquestionably be found." Here my counsel paused for some time, and hemmed

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