and do not run wild through all the infamous houses about town: that the prefent grooms of the bed-chamber (then maids of honour) would not eat chalk and lime in their green-fickness: and in general, that the men would remember they are become retromingent, and not by inadvertency lift up against walls and posts.

Petticoats will not be burdenfome to the clergy; but balls and affemblies will be indecent for fome time.

As for you, coquettes, bawds, and chambermaids (the future minifters, plenipotentiaries, and cabinet-counsellors to the princes of the earth) manage the great intrigues, that will be committed to your charge, with your ufual fecrecy and conduct; and the affairs of your mafters will go better than ever.

O ye exchange women! (our right worfhipful representatives that are to be) be not fo griping in the fale of your ware as your predeceffors, but confider that the nation, like a spend-thrift heir, has run out: be likewife a little more continent in your tongues than you are at present, elfe the length of debates will spoil your dinners.

You

You housewifely good women whơ now prefide over the confectionary (henceforth commiffioners of the treasury) be so good as to dispense the fugar-plumbs of the government with a more impartial and frugal hand.

Ye prudes and cenforious old maids (the hopes of the bench) exert but your ufual talent of finding faults, and the laws will be ftrictly executed; only I would not have you proceed upon fuch lender evidences as you have done hitherto.

It is from you, eloquent oyfter-merchants of Billingsgate, (juft ready to be called to the bar, and quoifed like your fifter ferjeants) that we expect the shortening the time, and leffening the expences of law-fuits: for I think you are observed to bring your debates to a fhort issue; and even cuftom will reftrain you from taking the ofter, and leaving only the fbell to your client.

O ye phyficians, who in the figure of old women are to clean the tripe in the markets, fcour it as effectually as you have done that of your patients, and the town will fare moft delicioufly on Saturdays. I can

I cannot but congratulate human nature upon this happy transformation; the only expedient left to reftore the liberties and tranquillity of mankind. This is so evident, that it is almost an affront to common sense to infift upon the proof: if there can be any fuch ftupid creature as to doubt it, I defire he will make but the following obvious reflection. There are

in Europe alone at present about a million of sturdy fellows, under the denomination of standing forces, with arms in their hands: that thofe are mafters of the lives liberties and fortunes of all the reft, I believe no body will deny. It is no less true in fact, that reams of paper, and above a square mile of skins of vellum have been employed to no purpose to settle peace among those fons of violence. Pray who is he that will fay unto them, go and difband yourselves? but lo! by this tranfformation it is done at once, and the halcyon days of publick tranquillity return : for neither the military temper nor discipline can taint the soft sex for a whole age to come: bellaque matribus invifa, wars odious to mothers will not grow immedi ately palatable in their paternal state. VOL. IV.

Nor

Nor will the influence of this transformation be lefs in family tranquillity, than it is in national. Great faults will be amended, and frailties forgiven, on both fides. A wife, who has been disturbed with late hours, and choaked with the haugoût of a fot, will remember her fufferings, and avoid the temptations; and will for the fame reafon indulge her mate in his female capacity in fome paffions, which fhe is fenfible from experience are natural to the fex; fuch as vanity, of fine cloaths, being admired, etc. And how tenderly must she use her mate under the breeding qualms and labour-pains which the hath felt her felf? in fhort, all unreasonable demands upon husbands must ceafe, because they are already fatisfied from natural experience, that they are impoffible.

That the ladies may govern the affairs of the world, and the gentlemen thofe of their houfhold, better than either of them have hitherto done, is the hearty defire of

Their most fincere well-wisher,

M. S.

A SPE

A

SPECIMEN

OF

SCRIBLERUS's REPORTS.

Stradling verfus Stiles.

Le report del cafe argue en le commen banke devant touts les juftices de le mefme banke, en le quart. An dụ raygne de roy Jaques, entre Matthew Stradling, plant. & Peter Stiles, def. en un action propter certos equos coloratos, Anglicè, pyed horses, post. per le dit Matthew vers le dit Peter.

= Le recitel

del Cafe.

S

JR John Swale, of Swale-Hall in Swale-Dale faft by the River Swale, kt. made his Laß Will and Testament : in which, among other Bequests was this, viz. Out of the kind love and respect that I bear unto my much honoured and good friend 'Mr. Matthew Stradling, gent. I do bequeath unto the faid Matthew Stradling, gent. all my black and white horses. The Teftator had üir black horses, fir white horses, and fir pyed horses,