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or manly, for this misanthrope to secrete himself, for the purpose of listening to the conversation of two young ladies, respecting the arrangement of their habiliments, and then to publish their conversation to the world? O fie for shame! we may truly say, "the age of chivalry is gone!" This rigid censor is surely not easily to be comprehended, when he talks of a "foot being brandished with all the exultation of modern nudity :" there is surely nothing particularly modern in such an exhibition in Scotland. Good phrases these, sir, and good phrases are, and ever will be, commendable; but I presume not quite correct, some of them, when applied to a lady's foot, decorated with a shoe made by a first-rate London artist, and a well-turned ancle, decked in a gossamer silk stocking, of the finest exture. Let him talk about the dress of my Lord This and Tom That as much as he pleases, but don't let him intrude near the hallowed sanctity of a lady's toilette. No, it is only for a mind of etherial texture, like the immortal author of the Rape of the Lock, to sport with such a delicate subject with impunity. I must say, sir, that Ti mon's observations in general, and more particularly his concluding remark, that the Edinburgh ladies do not "stand upon trifles," is a gross impeachment of their delicacy, as well as of their understandings, and every one of them should resent it. I can assure you, for my part, that as soon as my brother Lionel returns from the continent, where he is now serving with his regiment as a lieutenant in a rifle corps, and was never known to miss his mark, that this Mr Timon shall be called to a strict account for having trifled with the ancle of a Lightfoot; and if he shall dare to touch upon the flounce of my petticoat again, he shall pay dearly for his impertinence!

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thy to the "strength and sturdiness" of the
ladies' legs, and how he happened to be so
conveniently situated in Mrs Puckerwell's
back-room; for I was informed by a sure
hand,-by Miss Pinner, the foreswoman
to the before-mentioned lady, that he came
there for the purpose of getting her to make
up some false calves for half a dozen pair
of silk stockings he had lately smuggled
from Hamburgh; for, notwithstanding this
formidable name of Timon, and a tremen-
dous pair of whiskers, manufactured by
Maclauchlan, with which, armed with mi-
litary boots and spurs, he daily traverses
the pavement of Prince's Street, to the
great terror of old women and children,
this hero, who is troubled with such fasti-
dious feelings at the sight of a lady's ancle,
has, according to the homely phrase of an
Essex farmer, "sent his calves out to
grass," his legs having the same elegant pro-
portion as those of the spider. Therefore,
sir, I would entreat you to be cautious how
you give circulation to any thing like a
reflection upon the sex, because it hap-
pens to be sanctioned by a high sounding
name. I appeal to you, sir, whether there
be more taste and delicacy in dancing
a reel or strathspey with petticoats cling-
ing to our heels, or with the present degree
of fashionable brevity, which this gentle-
man deprecates with so much severity. I
trust, sir, that neither the refined affecta.
tion of him, or Mr Harmonicus, will ever
be able to substitute a taste for the mere-
tricious ornaments of foreign music and
dancing in preference to the simple melody
and exhilarating gaiety of our own.
As

you have once allowed my name to be used without my permission, I trust you will now allow me to subscribe myself Your obedient humble servant, JULIA LIGHTFOOT.

But, sir, I can tell you whence his antipa- HERIOT-Row, Feb. 17, 1817. Edinburgh, printed by James Ballantyne & Co.

For John Ballantyne, Hanover-Street.

No. IX.]

THE

SALE-ROOM.

SATURDAY, MARCH 1, 1817.

A Periodical Paper, published weekly at No. 4, Hanover-Street, Edinburgh.

THERE is no proof of the success of our labours which we regard with so much complacency, as the diversified attention which they appear to us to excite. In certain moments of pride and elevation, for who is there so humble as not to have some such moments ?-we have exulted in the lofty determination to write only for the accomplished, the high-born, and the learned; nay, we have sometimes caught ourselves, like Alnaschar, kicking at the approbation even of the vizier's daughter, and refusing any sanction of our efforts less than that of the sultan himself. But these were the dreams of the intoxicated, who is destined to awake sober; and, to confess a truth, the even tenor of our way is much more amongst the vallies of life, where we are satisfied to attract the passing smile of a humble fellow-traveller, or even to receive a kindly "good night," from those who condescend to regard themselves as beneath

us.

To drop the metaphor, we heartily rejoice in the multitude and variety of the communications which our weekly exami

nation of the letter-box presents to us for our decision. We are sometimes tempted to believe, with the rhyming Butler of the German play, that we have correspondents in the East, the West, the North, and the South, and that, if we cannot, like him, number amongst them, mighty generals, and mightier prime ministers, we could yet boast of such as might give good hints (if well taken) to those at the helm both of church and state. This opulence of choice, together with the comfortable self-importance which it has helped to cherish in us, has produced a singular change in our es timation of others as well as of ourselves. We have learnt to open a glittering and gilded card, sealed with a massy coat-ofarms, and breathing all the odours of Arabia, with a considerable abatement of the tremor which at first assailed our nerves in such circumstances; and the same sober experience has taught us, that a vast deal of good sense may be conveyed in a plain wafered epistle, even though the modest author should have been so vulgarly considerate as to write With care, on one

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corner, and Post paid on the other. Under such an unassuming aspect, the following quiet and reasonable remonstrance made its way to us; and we trust it will not be worse treated by the "Masters and Mistresses" whom it appeals to, than its modesty and candour appear to us to deserve.

To the Conductor of the SALE-ROOM. "This cuff was but to knock at your ear, and beseech listening."-SHAKESPEARE.

SIR,

I consider you as far too wise to think a subject altogether unimportant because it is not a matter of church or state; and I flatter myself that your experience of the human character has given you occasion to observe, that the power of reflection is not confined to the wealthy or the welleducated. You will not, therefore, enquire so much about the rank of your correspondents, as about their understandings and opportunities; and you will not overlook a letter, if, in other respects, worthy of notice, because it is written by a plebeian; and my education has been sufficient to enable me to employ many leisure hours in reading.

My fortune, in the course of sixty years, has not raised me above the rank of a foot man; and since the age of sixteen, it has been generally my lot to attend the noisy summoner at the front door. When I was light of heart and nimble of foot, and used to catch an admiring glance of myself in a mirror as I tripped along in my striped jacket and snow-white apron, I cared little how loud or how long the rap was that I hastened to answer; nay, I believe I entertained the opinion, which still seems to pos

sess the rest of this city, that it was smart and stylish to alarm and shake a whole house, and to bring all the opposite neighbours to their windows with bours to their windows with my rat-tat-tat. Now, however, that advancing years have added to the weight, and taken from the agility of my person, I often take my seat by the hall door during the two hours and half when it is fashionable to transact all the business of morning enquiries; and as the mode of leaving cards engraven in German text saves me all exercise of memory, I have time enough for observation and reflection.

There is, sir, I am humbly of opinion, more character displayed in the exercise of the knocker, than ever there was in Addison's days in that of the fan; besides, it is more extensively employed, for the knocker is free, not only to the delicate lady who can still cool herself with this little ventilator, but, like the door-steps, it may be thumped by the porter, the coachman, the millinery girl, the doctor, the lawyer, the friend, the acquaintance, and the fashionable lounger.

After many years experience, I cannot help thinking that there is more incongruity in the raps of most of our people of style than there is in that of the washerwoman and the porter. The distinct and once-repeated business rap of the latter tells you before you draw the lock whom to expect; while the imposing thumps, that say " "I will be heard," of the former, after giving my lady a fit of the nerves, setting all the children in an uproar, and giving the housekeeper a head-ach, leave you at a loss to tell whether the driver of the broadwheeled waggon has come from the country-house with potatoes and fruit, or whether my Lord or the Duke is making a morning

visit to my master. Now, neither his grace nor his grace's gentleman need to apprehend, that their dignity will be overlooked in a house the limits of which are all within hearing of a moderately-handled knocker. I have, it is true, known cases, in the course of my service, that justify a tremendous rattle; such as, when the porter is hard of hearing, which, I rejoice to say, I am not,when the business of the visitor requires dispatch,—or when a lord happens not well to beseem his rank. It is not for servants to be mentioning tales about their superiors, but I warrant, Mr Sale-Room, you have in your time seen a few gentlemen, who, after an unreasonable rap at a morning hour, would stand a chance of a good scold from the house-maid for awakening her mistress before the breakfast-room was dusted, and who, if they did not announce themselves as lords or knights, would not pass for any thing higher than a tailor. It would be well for such gentlemen if loud and long rapping were the exclusive privilege of the great; but, unluckily, a flourish beat on the door-nail costs nothing, and so it happens that all who want to ape their betters can do it in that particular. I remember well when I was a foot-boy, and it was my ambition to be rather smart than useful, that I have practised for a tonish rap at our own back-door of an evening when the family was from home, till the maids, who had not such an interest in that accomplishment as I had, have treated my back with a rap of the duster to quiet me. This recollection convinces me that there is no real distinction, either intellectual or physical, in the mode of rapping. I don't know that there was at that time a smarter knock in town than mine; and I can depone to my being slender both in wit and

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strength, as I suppose all about me will readily do to my want of gentility.

But to go on with my incongruities.Don't you think, sir, that a tripping young miss, whose tall plume of feathers and many-flounced skirts bespeak her of style, would be much shocked with any charge of want of delicacy? And yet what can shew more vulgar rusticity than her many subdivided rat-tats, ending with a blow that makes the street ring? And none but an experienced footman would guess that the languid gentleman who can hardly bestir himself from his lounging posture on the sofa to help himself to a cordial, is the same who saluted the front door a few minutes ago as if he had been storming a fortress with a battering-ram. Neither would one be ready to suspect, unless they had known it, that the matron, who, with her six children at home, must have learnt that a servant is not always at liberty to stand with his hand on the lock, will, if not answered in a second, give you another peal, and again another, and by the time you have got the door opened, have reached the lowest step in a huff, which she conceals under the supposition that the family is from home and the house shut up. It would be of service, sir, to give these various people a hint not to betray so much of their consequence, vanity, or impatience, as they are unwittingly doing in this apparently trivial article. Now, sir, to shew you that I am not too old for my post, nor inclined to be querulous on that account, I will name some serious inconveniences which I have observed my superiors suffer from the fashion of rapping so rudely.

1st. When baby is hushed to his noon. day sleep, and nurse rejoices that he will be a good boy when he awakes, I have

known him untimely aroused by the rapper, and cry and fret a whole afternoon, till he was quite in a fever.

ed. When my lady pleases to say she is not at home, I have often known her secret betrayed by the loud rap startling little Fido, whose riotous bark in the hall contradicts the story that I am telling at the door, as every body knows that he is my lady's constant companion, and will not be at home when she is not.

By the way, I have sometimes thought that this is the only kind of self-denial which people of fashion now-a days are disposed to practise; and I think it hard that masters and mistresses will turn away their servants for cheating them, when their first lessons of deceit have been learnt from themselves. I have heard my lady say, the tiresome creature, why should I be teazed with her!" and immediately after, she would send me with compliments, and she would be most happy to see this same tiresome friend. And I have delivered many a message of apology, such as that my mas. ter was harassed with business, and could not fulfil his engagement, when he was enjoying himself over a new book, with his snuff box, and his feet on the fender. As

I was a quick-witted lad, I soon adopted the practice for my own convenience, and learnt to say, that the shoemaker or tailor kept me waiting for the shoes or the coat, when I had trifled at the mountebank's; and I laid the blame on the cat, when I happened to break the glasses or eat the tarts. From the place where the example of my superiors taught me these tricks, I was dismissed for being an intolerable liar! but I doubt this misfortune would not have cured me, had I not been so fortunate as to get into the family of a worthy man, who gave

me good advice instead of hard words, and shewed me by his own practice how much better it is to have both a good name and a good conscience than to gain a little passing indulgence by deceit. But now that I have left off telling lies for my own accommodation, I cannot but think it hard to have it to do for them that are called my betters.

But you will think my moralizing tedious, and I hasten to mention the most serious inconvenience that proceeds from the unreasonable use of the knocker.

3d. When any of the family are sick, they are like to be thrown into a fever by the never-ceasing disturbance that arises from those who enquire after them. When my young master had the scarlet fever, though we had a piece of soft leather tied round the rapper, his sense of hearing was so much quickened by the disease, that, if he were in a slumber, he was sure to be awakened in a tremble that would make any feeling heart ache, and that, perhaps, by the rap of a young gentleman who professed to be his affectionate friend. While his grandmamma lived, I have known the good old lady just dropping into a sleep, after a severe fit of coughing, when the fashionable rap of some thoughtless guest would rouse her, and she would fall into a second fit, which would nearly carry her off before she recovered. On the other hand, it is pleasing to reflect, that as vanity, pride, impatience, or thoughtlessness, are often betrayed by the abuse of the knocker, sympathy, kindness, and consideration, are also expressed by those who possess these qualities in the use of this simple engine. There was one kind young gentleman who often enquired for my young master during his illness, that would pop a bit of gravel against my window in

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