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THE GORILLA'S DILEMMA.

Now this way, now that, without end, (TO PROFESSORS OWEN AND HUXLEY.)

I'm swayed by the pros and the cons,

As I feel man and monkey contend Say am I a man and a brother,

Which in nature's domain are the dons. Or only an anthropoid ape? Your judgment, be't one way or t’other, Then help me, professors, I pray; Do put into positive shape.

For English opinion I value ; Must Í humbly take rank as quadruman (You can't think how I suffered when Gray As Owen maintains that I ought:

So pitched into me, through Du Chaillu.) Or rise into brotherhood human,

Anatomy out of the question, As Huxley has flatt'ringly taught?

Had I better be monkey or man,

By enlightened self-interest's suggestion ? For though you may deem a Gorilla Don't think much of his rank in creation,

Say you—for hang me, if I can.

-Punch. If of feeling one have a scintilla,

It glows to know “who's one's relation”. Apes and monkeys (now crowding by dozens

Their kinship with us to have proved), Or an Owen and Huxley for cousins,

A VOICE FROM CAMBRIDGE. Though, it may be, a little removed.

GUILDHALL, 1862, Oct. 1st, 8.30 P.M. If you ask me my private opinion (Which humbly through Punch is submitted),

The place is as hot For which sphere of nature's dominion

As a chimney-pot, I seem to myself to be fitted :

And somebody there is uttering, utteringTo speak with decision I'm funky,

What does he say? Nature's field when I selfishly scan,

(We can't get away) For in some points if man's above monkey,

Verily that discourse wants buttering. In some monkey's far above man.

odelion

“No less than twenty thousand pounds, My ignorance needs no apologies

For excellent reasons, on glorious grounds, With anatomy naught I've to do

We have lent or spent or given or lost,
This, with all the appartenant “ologies” To men of the stamp of old Zerdost,
I leave, my professors, to you.

Who waste their lives and eke their livers, But the points wherein I say that man

To find out why the lightning quivers, Must perforce monkey own his superior,

And how the neat comes out of the sun, Are where man apes the apes all he can,

And whither the tremulous meteors run, And yet to tho apes is inferior.

And whence the wind its anger draws,

To find, in short, some physical cause
Thus, in power of jaw apes beat fellows

That superintends all physical laws,
Of your own scientific societies;
The P.R. they outrival in “ bellows,”

“Where thy cleaner waters glide, In gymnastics your first notorieties.

O Thames, above the London tido, What's Blondin to every chimpanzee,

Stands the Association's pride;
Or Leotard great in trapèze ?

A Dome of Science, fair to view,
If their feats rouse the public to frenzy, Among the flowery walks of Kew."

What rapture a gibbon should raise !
You've low comedy actors consummate

(Here the President sought to drink, In gagging, grimacing, and chaff;

Somebody helped him in less than a wink.) But in many who'd Buckstone look glum at

“ At Kew the Photo Heliograph—" The monkey-cage wakens a laugh. What are “ Cures,” Nigger-dances, and jibes

(Great applause ; too much by half;

And a man behind me dared to laugh.) To the black spider-monkey's contortions ?

The Photo-Heliograph at Kew, Before preacher-monkeys by tribes How small seen one Spurgeon's propor- To Mr. 'Warren de la Ruo,

As everybody knows, is due tions!

He took it out to Spain, One distinction alleged, I must say

In a fleet of ships, Betwixt man and monkey is hollow

To observe the eclipse, Where monkey or man shows the way,

And brought it back again. Other men, other monkeys will follow.

Here are Baroineters,

Here are Thermometers,
But from all points of difference one turns
To this crowning divergence to come,

Here are Hygrometers,
Not one man in a thousand e'er learns

Carefully tested. To keep silent-all monkeys are dumb!

With all that is extant

In Quadrant or Sextant, For distinctions of brain--cerebellum

With all Anemometers, Posterior lobe-hippocampus

All Dynamometers, I leave you to cut down or swell 'em,

All Goniometers, They are scarce the distiuctions to stamp us.

Kew is infested.

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Who {Geniets } that Man’s an Ape.

BACK AGAIN. • Wide researches have been made,

THE CAMBRIDGE DUET. Some on shore, and some in ocean;

AS PERFORMED BEFORE THE BRITISH ASSOThe cost of instruments is paid

CIATION Out of the funds of the Brishashoshan.

PROFESSOR O. PROFESSOR H. "A vessel, specially fitted out

Prof. 0. HY, don't kick up a scrimmage, For the purpose, did survey

Take these brains, and mark their The British coast all roundabout,

shape :
And the colonies far away,

Made in Providence's image,
Very magnetically

Man must not be called an Ape
Hydrotheoretically:
Don't forget what I say.

Prof H. 0—n, I am noways funky,

And maintain that this is true: “ A word or two about the progress

Man is really but a Monkey, Of Science, sweet celestial ogress.

Save in moral points of view. “Monsieur Delaunay, the man of the moon,

Prof. 0. Man's no
Prof. H. Man's a

Monkey.
Has made up his book, and will print it soon.

Both. From this fix there's no escape. “ The name of the great sky-scraper, Glaisher, That name already is known

Prof. O. He is drunky. Through Europe, America, Africa, Asia ; Prof. H. He's a fnnkey. And not on this globe alone,

Prof. 0.1 But e'en in the starry heights of heaven; Prof. H.) For he journeyed upward six or seven

-Punch.
English miles,

Above the house-tiles,
In mortal flesh and bone.

BACK AGAIN.
Chemistry thrives :
A man who dives

From all the Fonts, salt, bitter, sweet-
Into its darkest, deepest nooks

Fashion's Bethesdas, Wealth's and Pride's-
Says he has blended,

Where, in “the season, the elite
Heaven-befriended,

Baptize-in Health's name—their insides ; Carbon with hydrogen." (Oh, Gadzooks !)

From Newport, Rockaway, Cape May, "And hence other compounds, more composite

Where, lively as the tutored fleas, still,

Matrons and maids at leap-frog play Have answered the call of alchemical skill;

In summer, with gymnastic seas; And he bids fair soon to produce such mixtures From where, in foam, Niagara's floods As only are found in organical fixtures."

Explode with earth-convulsing throes,

To gratify the belles and bloods (The President, uniformly dry,

Who gape at the sublime Coloes; Here grew thirsty and so did I.)

From mountains White and mountains Green,

From lakes by wood-crowned hills clipt in, "Why need we tell you how Mr. Scott Russell From every kind of rural scene, Has been exerting his mental muscle,

"Done by the folks of Ton and Tin, In finding relations of force and form,

Throngs back our human China-ware,
Between a model ship in a storm

Our locomotive porcelain,
And waves as high as huge Cairn Gorm ? And Fourteenth Street is debonair,

Fifth Avenue itself again!
Artillerymen at Shoeburyness
Have made away with-I should guess- On Broadway, “ forms of choicest mould”
Five hundred thousand, more or less,

Once more are moving to and fro, Projectiles. Mr. Fairbairn knows;

And-see the Testament, the OldBut cannot very well disclose.

Forever “ mincing as they go.'

"*

The clergy that in summer's heat « The International Exhibition

To the “first temples ” fled to cool, Show's the good of competition

Again the pulpit cushions beat, In things of mechanical power;

Again rich sinners mildly school. There's many a locomotive engine,

Theatres and concert-halls are jammed,
Would run from London to Stonehenge in The Park's alive with prancing steeds,
Less than a solar hour."

The millinery stores are cram med,
And still the place

The rich give ostentatious feeds,
Grows hotter apace :

The Falls, the Spas, the Lakes, the Sea,
A fue—and a chimney-sweep-

Have had their day—their halls are bare

And robed for conquest, Vanity
Voluptuous feeling-
The brain is reeling-

Proclaims anew her Urban Fair.
And I'm-a-going to sleep.

-Vanity Fair.
-Punch.

* Isaiah, iii. 16.

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Τ THE LIVING AGE.

No. 966. - 6 December, 1862.

CONTENTS.

PAGE. 435

1. Aids to Faith,

Quarterly Review,
[The former part of the article here concluded,
in which judgment is passed upon the writers
of “ Essays and Reviews," and some others, may

be found in No. 965.]
2. The Water-Babies. A Fairy Tale for a Land-
Baby,

Rev. Professor Kingsley, 3. A German Pepys,

Spectator, 4. Medicine and Physiology, .

Saturday Review, 5. Forgery of Bank of Eugland Notes,

London Review, 6. France and England,

Spectator, 7. Mummies,

London Review, 8. The British Reform Jews, .

Spectator, 9. Dürkheim.—The Grape Cure,

London Review,

450 459 463 466 467 469 472 475

POETRY.--Albert Pike described by Himself, 434. “Old Stars,” 434. Morning, 478. Pere La Chaise, 479. The Last Day of October, 1862, 479. A Drifting Leaf, 479. Hope, 479. Harben's Love Song, 480.

SHORT ARTICLES.-Frogs in Coal, 449. Derotion to Science, 449. General Liprandi, 462. Cockney Criticism, 480. How to see the Exhibition in Ten Minutes, 480.

i News from the Styx,” 480. A smooth Way of getting out of it, 480. Forgiveness of Injuries, 480.

PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY BY LIT TELL, SON, & CO., BOSTON.

For Six Dollars a year, in advance, remitted directly to the Publishers, the LIVING Age will be punctually for warded free of postage.

Complete sets of the First Series, in thirty-six volumes, and of the Second Series, in twenty volumes, handsomely bound, packed in neat boxes, and delivered in all the principal cities, free of expense of freight, are for salo at two dollars a volume.

ANY VOLUME may be had separately, at two dollars, bound, or n dollar and a halfin numbers.

ANY NUMBER may be had for 13 cents; and it is well worth while for subscribers or purchasers to comploto any droken volumes they may have, and thus greatly enhance their value.

I.

II.

III.

IV.

ALBERT PIKE DESCRIBED BY HIMSELF. Turn, turn then! Cast down in your might General Albert Pike of Arkansas was once a

The pilots that sit at the helm ; loyal man. What he is now is forcibly told in Steer, steer your proud ship from the gulf which

dark night the following verses written by loyal Albert Pike, and printed in a volume gathered some

And treason and fear overwhelm ! years ago for private distribution among his Turn back! From your mountains and glens, friends. One of those friends, a loyal man, From forest and precipice, cavern and den,

From your swamps, from the rivers and sea, sends it to be printed in the Evening Post.

Where your brave fathers bled to be free,
DISUNION.

From the graves where those glorious patriots llo Ay, shout! 'Tis the day of your pride,

Re-echoes the warning, “Turn back, or ye die!” Ye despots and tyrants of earth!

1834. Tell your serfs the American name to deride, And to rattle their fetters in mirth.

" OLD STARS." * Ay, shout! for the league of the free Is about to be shivered to dust,

Hung be the heavens with black.
And the rent limbs to fall from the vigorous tree,
Wherever Liberty put her firm trust.

His mighty life was burned away
Shout! shout! for more firmly established will be By Carolina's fiery sun;
Your thrones and dominions beyond the blue sca. The pestilence that walks by day

Smote him before his course seemed run. Laugh on! for such solly supreme

The world had yet never beheld; And ages to come will the history deem

The Constellations of the sky, A tale by antiquity swelled :

The Pleiades, the Southern Cross, For nothing that Time has upbuilt

Looked sadly down to see him die,
And set in the annals of crime,

To see a nation weep his loss.
So stupid and senseless, so wretched in guilt,
Darkens sober tradition or rhyme.

"Send him to us," the stars might cry It will be, like the fable of Eblis's fall,

“ You do not feel his worth below; A byword of mocking and horror to all.

Your petty great men do not try

The measure of his mind to know. Ye mad, who would raze out your name

From the league of the proud and the free, And a pitiful separate sovereignty claim,

“ Send him to us. This is his place, Like a lone wave flung off from the sea;

Not 'mid your puny jealousies; Oh, pause ere you plunge in the chasm

You sacrificed him in your race That yawns in your traitorous way!

Of envies, strifes, and policies.
Ere Freedom, convulsci with one terrible spasm,

Desert you forever and aye !
Pause! think! ere the earthquake astonish your

“His eye could pierce our vast expanse,

His ear could hear our morning songs, soul, And the thunders of war through your green

His, mind, amid our mystic dance,

Could follow all our myriad throngs. valleys roll! Good God! what a title, what name

“ Send him to us! no martyr's soul, Will history give to your crime !

No hero slain in righteous wars, In the deepest abyss of dishonor and shame, No raptured saint could e'er control Ye will writhe till the last hour of time,

A holier welcome from the stars." As braggarts who forged their own chains,

Pulled down what their brave fathers built, And tainted the blood in their children's young

Take him, ye stars ! take him on high,

To your vast realms of boundless space, veins

But once he turned from you to try With the poison of slavery and guilt;

His name on martial scrolls to trace. And Freedom's bright heart be hereafter tenfold,

VIII. For your folly and fall, more discouraged and cold.

That once was when his country's call

Said danger to her flag was nigh, What flag shall float over the fires

And then her banner's stars dimmed all And the smoke of your patricide war,

The radiant lights which gemmed the sky. Instead of the stars and broad stripes of your

sires ? A lonc, pale, dim, flickering star,

Take him, loved orbs! His country's life, With a thunder-cloud veiling its glow

Freedom for all--for these hc wars; As it faints away into the sea ;

For these he welcomed bloody strife,
Will the Eagle's wing shelter and shield you ?

And followed in the wake of Mars !
Ah, no!

* General Mitchell was familiarly known by tho His wing shelters only the free.

soldiers of his command under the sobriquet of Miscall it, disguise it, boast, rant as you will, * Old Stars." You arc traitors, misled by your mad leaders still.

-N. Y. Evening Post.

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VI.

VII.

IX.

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From The Quarterly Review. diminution of lawful authority in matters AIDS TO FAITH.

spiritual. This was probably inevitable. [CONTINUED FROM NO. 965.]

The isolated spirituality could not balance WE enter now upon a different branch of properly the great and neighboring weight of our subject. When we first drew attention the temporal power. The evil was increased to this subject we expressed an opinion ac- by the unavoidable mixture of questions of cordant with that which the Bishop of Os- property with questions directly spiritual ford has stated in his preface to the "Re- through our system of endowments; and the plies to the Essayists." "Two distinct ever-growing jealousy of the law of England courses," he

says, seem to be required as to freehold rights raised the danger to its the distinct, solemn, and, if need be, highest point. Soon after the Reformation atsevere decision of authority, that assertions tempts were made to remedy the evil. The such as these cannot be put forward as pos- abortive “ Reformatio Legum” stands as an sibly true ... by honest men who are abiding record of such an effort. All such enbound by voluntary obligations to teach the deavors as these were utterly swept away by Christian revelation as the truth of God. the great flood of Puritan violence which soon

Secondly, we need the calm, compre- afterwards broke forth upon the land. Nor hensive, and scholar-like declaration of pos- was the period of the Restoration in any way itive truth upon all the matters in dispute, favorable for the development of a well-conby which the shallowness and the passion sidered and impartial strengthening of the and the ignorance of the new system of un- spiritual authority of the Church. It was belief may be thoroughly displayed.”. pre-eminently a time of reaction; and a re

We have traced the discharge by several actionary time, full as it necessarily is of writers of the second of these duties. We now spasms and violence, is most unfavorable for pass on to examine what has been done by au- the formation of those joints and bands of thority to free the Church of England from any reasonable restraint which form the truest complicity in the strange and erroneous doc- protection of liberty itself. There was the trines of the essayists. Constituted as that irritation bred by the action of that spiritual body is, it is impossible that there should, revolution on the possession of endowments. under any circumstances, be within its pale There was first the remembrance of the many the sharp, sudden acting of authority which grievous wrongs which had been wrought in may be found in other communions or in the ejection from their benefices of the best other lands. All our traditions are in favor of the clergy, under the falsest professions, of liberty; all are hostile to the authorita- in order to install into them the ignorant and tive repression of independent action, and fanatical self-seekers of the Puritan predomstill more, we thank God, of independent inance; and then there was next the natuthought. Even when we were a part of that ral but unhappy action of the spirit of retrivast organic body, half spiritual, half civil, bution running into revenge, righting freely of which the Papacy was the head, the ac- these past wrongs by new ejections. All tion of authority in all matters spiritual was this acted mischievously upon the mind of feebler and more tardy in this land than in the Church, and made the question of the any other. Many were the concessions restoration of her civil rights, for which she wrung by our spirit of national indepen-had mainly to lean on the civil arm, rather dence from the distant Popedom ; many the than the maintenance of her doctrinal purity, acts of rebellious freedom at which that the great object upon which her eye was crafty power was compelled to wink, in order fixed. to preserve any dominion over the self-willed

This was not all. The temper of the whole islanders. Our separation from Rome, and nation was one of reaction in favor of authorthe full establishment of the apostolic freedom ity. Churchmen who had been faithful to of our own Church from the usurpations of the crown when it was trampled in the dirt the see which had transformed a lawful pri- under the feet of the Independents, would macy into a lawless tyranny, were accompa- naturally suffer in the highest degree from nied — an evil waiting as the inseparable the general epidemic; and the very loyalty shadow upon our many blessings — with a of the Church led to its unduly exalting the * Preface to “ Replies,” etc., pp. 9, 10.

throne, for which it had so severely suffered.

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