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characters fo difgufting, and reprefentations fo derogatory to human nature The hiftorians of the day, who profefs to give us intelligence of what is paffing in the world, ought not to be condemned, if they fometimes make a little free with our foibles and our follies; but downright libels are grown too dangerous, and fcurrility is become too dull to find a market; the pillory is a great reformer. The detail of a court drawing-room, though not very edifying, is perfectly inoffenfive; a lady cannot greatly complain of the liberty of the prefs, if it is contented with the humble task of celebrating the workmanship of her mantuamaker as for fuch inveterate malice, as my correfpondent Wormwood defcribes, I flatter myself it is very rarely to be found: I can only fay, that though I have often heard of it in conversation, and read of it in books, I do not meet in human nature originals fo ftrongly featured as their paintings amongst a fmall collection of fonnets in manufcript, defcriptive of the human paffions, which has fallen into my hands, the following lines upon Envy, as coinciding with my fubject, fhall conclude this paper.

ENVY.

"Oh! never let me fee that shape again,
"Exile me rather to fome favage den,

"Far from the focial haunts of men!
"Horrible phantom, pale it was as death,
Confumption fed upon its meager cheek,
"And ever as the fiend effay'd to speak,
"Dreadfully fteam'd its peftilential breath.
"Fang'd like the wolf it was, and all as gaunt,
"And till it prowl'd around us and around,
"Rolling its fquinting eyes afkaunt,
"Wherever human happiness was found.

E 5

"Furious

"Furious thereat, the felf-tormenting sprite
"Drew forth an afp, and (terrible to fight)
"To its left pap the envenom'd reptile preft,
"Which gnaw'd and worm'd into its tortur'd breaft.

"The defperate fuicide with pain
"Writh'd to and fro, and yell'd amain;

"And then with hollow, dying cadence cries
"It is not of this afp that Envy dies;

""Tis not this reptile's tooth, that gives the fmart;
""Tis others' happinefs, that gnaws my heart."

N° CXXXI.

Alter in obfequium plus æquo pronus, et imi
Derifor lecti, fic nutum divitis horret,
Sic iterat voces, et verba cadentia tollit.

HORAT.

I AM bewildered by the definitions, which metaphyfical writers give us of the human paffions: I can understand the characters of Theophraftus, and am entertained by his fketches; but when your profound thinkers take the fubject in hand, they appear to me to dive to the bottom of the deep in fearch of that, which floats upon its furface: if a man in the heat of anger would defcribe the movements of his mind, he might paint the tempeft to the life; but as fuch defcriptions are not to be expected, moral effayifts have fubftituted perfonification in their place, and by the pleafing introduction of a few natural incidents

form

form a kind of little drama, in which they make their fictitious hero defcribe thofe follies, foibles and paffions, which they who really feel them, are not fo forward to confefs.

When Mr. Locke in his Efay on the Human Understanding defcribes all pity as partaking of contempt, I cannot acknowledge that he is fpeaking of pity, as I feel it when I pity a fellow creature in pain (a woman, for instance, in the throes of childbirth) I cannot fubmit to own there is any ingredient of fo bad a quality as contempt in my pity: but if the metaphyficians tell me that I do not know how to call my feelings by their right name, and that my pity is not pity properly fo defined, I will not pretend to difpute with any gentleman, whofe language I do not understand, and only beg permiflion to enjoy a fenfation, which I call pity, without indulging a propensity, which he calls contempt.

The flatterer is a character, which the moralifts and wits of all times and all nations have ridiculed more feverely and more fuccefsfully than almost any other; yet it ftill exifts, and a few pages perhaps would not be mifapplied, if I was to make room for a civil kind of gentleman of this defcription, (by name Billy Simper) who, having feen his failings in their proper light of ridicule, is willing to expofe them to public view for the amufement it is hoped, if not for the use and benefit, of the reader.

I beg leave therefore to introduce Mr. Billy Simper to my candid friends and protectors, and fhall leave him to tell his ftory in his own words.

I am the younger fon of a younger brother: my father qualified himself for orders in the univerfity

verfity of Aberdeen, and by the help of an infinuating addrefs, a foft counter-tenor voice, a civil fmile and a happy flexibility in the vertebræ of his back-bone, recommended himself to the good graces of a right reverend patron, who after a due courfe of attendance and dependance prefented him to a comfortable benefice, which enabled him to fupport a pretty numerous family of children. The good bifhop it feems was paffionately fond of the game of chefs, and my father, though the better player of the two, knew how to make a timely move fo as to throw the victory into his lordship's hands after a hard battle, which was a triumph very grateful to his vanity, and not a little ferviceable to my father's purpofes.

Under this expert profeffor I was inftructed in all the fhifts and movements in the great game of life, and then fent to make my way in the world as well as I was able. My firfl object was to pay my court to my father's elder brother, the head of our family; an enterprize not lefs arduous than important. My uncle Antony was a widower, parfimonious, peevith, and reclufe; he was rich however, egregiously felf-conceited, and in his own opinion a deep philofopher and metaphyfician; by which I would be understood to fay that he doubted every thing, difputed every thing and believed nothing. He had one fon, his only child, and him he had lately driven out of doors and difinherited for nonfuiting him in an argument upon the immortality of the foul: here then was an opening no prudent man could mifs, who fcorned to fay his foul was his own, when it stood in the way of his intereft: and as I was well tutored beforehand, I no fooner gained admiffion

to

to the old philofopher, than I fo far worked my way into his good graces, as to be allowed to take poffeffion of a truckle-bed in a fpare garret of the family manfion: envy muft have owned (if envy could have looked afquint upon fo humble a fituation as mine was) that, confidering what a game I had to play, I managed my cards well; for uncle Antony was an old dog at a difpute, and as that cannot well take place, whilft both parties are on the fame fide, I was forced at times to make battle for the good of the argument, and feldom failed to find Antony as compleatly puzzled with the zig-zaggeries of his metaphyfics, as uncle Toby of more worthy memory was with the horn-works and counterfcarps of his fortifications.

Amongst the various topics, from which Antony's ingenuity drew matter of difpute fome were fo truly ridiculous, that if I were fure my reader was as much at leifure to hear, as I am just now to relate them, I fhould not fcruple the recital. One morning having been rather long-winded in defcribing the circumftances of a dream, that had disturbed his imagination in the night, I thought it not amifs to throw in a remark in the way of confolation upon the fallacy of dreams in general. This was enough for him to turn over to the other fide and support the credit of dreams totis viribus : I now thought it advisable to trim, and took a middle course between both extremes by humbly conceiving dreams might be fometimes true and fometimes falfe: this he contended to be nonfenfe upon the face of it, and if I would undertake to fhew they were both true and falfe, he would engage to prove by found logic they could be neither one nor the other:-" But "why "do we begin to talk," added he, "before we

"fettle

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