in me conftitutional as well as prudential: I was refolved not to risk my laurels, and throw away the fruits of a triumph fo cheaply purchased: folicitations, that would have flattered others, only alarmed ne; fuch was not the fociety I delighted in; against fuch attacks I entrenched myself with the moft jealous caution: If however by accident I was drawn out of my faftneffes, and trapped unawares into an ambuscade of wicked wits, I armed myself to meet them with a triple tier of fmiles; I primed my lips with fuch a ready charge of flattery, that when I had once engaged them in the pleafing contemplation of their own merits, they were feldom difpofed to fcrutinize into mine, and thus in general I contrived to escape undetected. Though it was no eafy matter to extort an opinion from me in fuch companies, yet sometimes I was unavoidably entangled in converfation, and then I was forced to have recourse to all my addrefs; happily my features were habituated to a fmile of the most convertible fort, for it would anfwer the purposes of affected humility as well as those of actual contempt, to which in truth it was more congenial: my opinion, therefore, upon any point of controverfy flattered both parties and befriended neither; it was calculated to imprefs the company with an idea that I knew much more than I profeft to know; it was in fhort fo infinuating, fo fubmitted, so hesitating, that a man must have had the heart of Nero to have perfecuted a being fo abfolutely inoffenfive: but thefe facrifices coft me dear, for they were foreign to my nature, and, as I hated my fuperiors, I avoided their fociety.

Having fufficiently diftinguished myself as a critic, I now began to meditate fome fecret attempts as an author; but in thefe the fame caution attended me, and my performances did not rife above a little fonnet, or a parody, which I circulated through a few hands without a name, prepared to difavow it, if it was not applauded to my wishes: I alfo wrote occafional effays and paragraphs for the public prints, by way of trying my talents in various kinds of ftile; by thefe experiments I acquired a certain facility of imitating other people's manner and difguiling my own, and fo far my point was gained; but as for the fecret fatisfaction I had promifed myself in hearing my productions applauded, of that I was altogether disappointed; for though I tried both praife and difpraife for the purpose of bringing them into notice, I never had the pleasure to be contradicted by any man in the latter cafe, or feconded by a living foul in the former: I had circulated a little poem, which coft me fome pains, and as I had been flattered with the applause it gained from several of its readers, I put it one evening in my pocket, and went to the house of a certain perfon, who was much reforted to by men of genius: an opportunity luckily offered for producing my manufcript, which I was prepared to avow as foon as the company prefent had given fentence in its favour: it was put into the hands of a dramatic author of fome celebrity, who read it aloud, and in a manner as I thought that clearly anticipated his difguft: as foon therefore as he had finished it and demanded of me if I knew the author, I had no hesitation to declare that I did not-Then I prefume, rejoined he, it is

no

no offence to fay I think it the merest trash I ever read None in life, I replied, and from that moment held him in everlasting hatred.

Difgufted with the world I now began to dip my pen in gall, and as foon as I had fingled out a proper object for my fpleen, I looked round him for his weak fide, where I could place a blow to beft effect, and wound him undifcovered: the author abovementioned had a full fhare of my attention; he was an irritable man, and I have feen him agonized with the pain, which my very fhafts had given him, whilft I was foremost to arraign the fcurrility of the age and encourage him to difregard it: the practice I had been in of masking my ftile facilitated my attacks upon every body, who either moved my envy, or provoked my fpleen.

The meaneft of all paffions had now taken entire poffeffion of my heart, and I furrendered myself to it without a struggle: ftill there was a consciousness about me, that funk me in my own efteem, and when I met the eye of a man, whom I had fecretly defamed, I felt abafhed; fociety became painful to me; and I fhrunk into retirement, for my self-esteem was loft; though I had gratified my malice, I had deftroyed my comfort; I now contemplated myself a folitary being at the very moment when I had every requifite of fortune, health and endowments to have recommended me to the world, and to those tender ties and engagements, which are natural to man and conftitute his belt enjoyments.

The folitude, I reforted to, made me every day more morofe, and fupplied me with reflections that rendered me intolerable to myfelf and unfit

for

for fociety. I had reafon to apprehend, in spite of all my caution, that I was now narrowly watched, and that ftrong fufpicions were taken up against me; when as I was feafting my jaundiced eye one morning with a certain newfpaper, which I was in the habit of employing as the vehicle of my venom, I was startled at difcovering myfelf confpicuously pointed out in an angry column as a cowardly defamer, and menaced with perfonal chaftifement, as foon as ever proofs could be obtained against me; and this threatening denunciation evidently came from the very author, who had unknowingly given me fuch umbrage, when he recited my poem.

The fight of this refentful paragraph was like an arrow to my brain: habituated to fkirmish only behind entrenchments, I was ill prepared to turn into the open field, and had never put the question to my heart, how it was provided for the emergency: In early life I had not any reason to sufpect my courage, nay it was rather forward to meet occafions in those days of innocence; but the meannefs I had lately funk into, had fapped every manly principle of my nature, and I now difcovered to my forrow, that in taking up the lurking malice of an affalin, I had left the gallant fpirit of a gentleman.

There was fill one alleviation to my terrors: it fo chanced that I was not the author of the particular libel, which my accufer had imputed to me; and though I had been father of a thoufand others, I felt myfelf fupported by truth in almost the only charge, again which I could have fairly appealed to it. It feemed to me therefore advifeable to lofe no time in exculpating myfelf from the accufation,

yet

yet to feek an interview with this irafcible man was a fervice of fome danger: chance threw the opportunity in my way, which I had probably elfe wanted fpirit to invite; I accofted him with all imaginable civility and made the strongest affeverations of my innocence: whether I did this with a fervility that might aggravate his fufpicions, or that he had others impreffed upon him besides those I was labouring to remove, fo it was, that he treated all I faid with the most contemptuous incredulity, and elevating his voice to a tone, that petrified me with fear, bade me avoid his fight, threatening me both by words and actions in a manner too humiliating to relate.

Alas! can words exprefs my feelings? Is there a being more wretched than myself? to be friendlefs, an exile from fociety and at enmity with my. felf is a fituation deplorable in the extreme: let what I have now written be made public; if I could believe my fhame would be turned to others' profit, it might perhaps become less painful to my. felf; if men want other motives to divert them from defamation, than what their own hearts fupply, let them turn to my example, and if they will not be reafoned, let them be frightened out of their propensity.

I am, Sir, &c.

WALTER WORMWOOD.

'The cafe of this correfpondent is a melancholy one, and I have admitted his letter, becaufe I do not doubt the prefent good motives of the writer; but I fhall not eafily yield a place in thefe effays to characters