me was the caufe and origin of them all, I might have been fo deceived by appearances as to have imputed them to averfion. She was in the habit of deciding upon almost every action in her life. by the interpretation of her dreams, in which I cannot doubt her great fkill, though I could not always comprehend the principles, on which the applied it; the never failed, as foon as winter fet in, to dream of going to London, and our journey as certainly fucceeded; I remember upon our arrival there the first year after our marriage, fhe dreamt of a new coach, and at the fame time put the fervants in new liveries, the colours and pattern of which were circumftantially revealed to her in fleep fometimes, (dear creature!) fhe dreamt of winning large fums at cards, but I am apt to think thofe dreams were of the fort, which fhould have been interpreted by their contraries: fhe was not a little fond of running after conjurors and deaf and dumb fortune tellers, who dealt in figures and caft nativities: and when we were in the country my barns and outhoufes were haunted with gypfies and vagabonds, who made fad havoc with our pigs and poultry: of ghofts and evil fpirits fhe had fuch terror, that I was fain to keep a chaplain in my houfe to exorcife the chambers, and when bufinefs called me from home, the good man condefcended fo far to her fears, as to fleep in a little clofet within her call in cafe the was troubled in the night; and I must fay this for my friend, that if there is any truft to be put in flesh and blood, he was a match for the beft fpirit that ever walked: the had all the fenfibility in life towards omens and prognoftics, and though I guarded every motion and action, that might

might give any poffible alarm to her, yet my unhappy awkwardneffes were always boding ill luck, and I had the grief of heart to hear her declare in her laft moments, that a capital overfight I had been guilty of in handing to her a candle with an enormous winding-fheet appending to it was the immediate occafion of her death and my irreparable misfortune.

My fecond wife I married in mere charity and compaffion, because a young fellow, whom the was engaged to, had played her a bafe trick by fcandalously breaking off the match, when the wedding clothes were bought, the day appointed for the wedding, and myself invited to it. Such tranfactions ever appeared fhocking to me, and therefore to make up her lofs to her as well as I was able, I put myself to extraordinary charges for providing her with every thing handsome upon our marriage: fhe was a fine woman, loved fhew and was particularly fond of displaying herfelf in public places, where fhe had an opportunity of meeting and mortifying the young man, who had behaved fo ill to her: fhe took this revenge against him fo often, that one day to my great furprize I discovered that he had eloped from me and fairly gone off with him. There was

fomething fo unhandfome, as I thought, in this proceeding, that I fhould probably have taken legal meafures for redrefs, as in like cafes other husbands have done, had I not been diverted from my purpose by a very civil note from the gentleman himself, wherein he fays-" That being a "younger fon of little or no fortune, he hopes I am "too much of a gentleman to think of reforting to the vexatious measures of the law for reveng

46

"ing myself upon him; and, as a proof of his "readiness to make me all the reparation in his

power in an honourable way, he begs leave to "inform me, that he fhall moft refpectfully "attend upon me with either fword or piftols, or "with both, whenever I fhall be pleafed to lay my commands upon him for a meeting, and appoint the hour and place."

66

After fuch atonement on the part of the offender, I could no longer harbour any thoughts of a divorce, efpecially as my younger brother the parfon has heirs to continue the family, and feems to think fo entirely with me in the business, that I have determined to drop it altogether, and give the parties no further moleftation; for, as my brother very properly observes, it is the part of a chriflian to forget and to forgive; and in truth I fee no reason why I fhould diflurb them in their enjoyments, or return evil for good to an obliging gentleman, who has taken a talk of trouble off my hands, and fet me at my eafe for the rest of my days; in which tranquil and contented ftate of mind, as becomes a man, whofe inheritance is philanthropy, and whofe mother's milk hath been the milk of human kindnefs, I remain in all bro. therly charity and good will,

Your's and the world's friend,

SIMON SAPLING.

VOL. IV.

E

NR

N CXXX.

Λιπέντα τὸν πλησιάν, ἐ ράδιον αυτὸν ἄλυπον εἶναι.

DEMOPHILI SENTENTIA.

"He, wo another's peace annoys,
By the fame act his own destroys."

TO THE OBSERVER.

AS I have lived long enough to repent of a fatal propenfity, that has led me to commit many offences, not the lefs irksome to my prefent feelings for the fecrecy, with which I contrived to execute them, and as thefe can now be no otherwife atoned for than by a frank confeffion, I have refolved upon this mode of addrefling myself to you. Few people chufe to difplay their own characters to the world in fuch colours as I fhall give to mine, but as I have mangled fo many reputations in my time without mercy, I fhould be the meanest of mankind if I fpared my own; and being now about to speak of a perfon, whom no man loves, I may give vent to an acrimony, at which no man can take offence. If I have been troublesome to others, I am no lefs uncomfortable to myself, and amidst vexations without number the greatest of all is, that there is not one, which does not originate from myself.

I entered upon life with many advantages natural and acquired; I am indebted to my parents for a liberal education, and to nature for no contemptible fhare of talents: my propenfities were

not

not fuch as betrayed me into diffipation and extravagance my mind was habitually of a ftudious caft; I had a paffion for books, and began to collect them at an early period of my life: to them I devoted the greatest portion of my time, and had my vanity been of a fort to be contented with the literary credit I had now acquired, I had been happy; but I was ambitious of convincing the world I was not the idle owner of weapons, which I did not know the ufe of; I feized every fafe opportunity of making my pretenfions refpected by fuch dabblers in the belles lettres, who paid court to me, and as I was ever cautious of ftepping an inch beyond my tether on thefe occafions, I foon found myself credited for more learning than my real ftock amounted to. I received all vifitors in my library, affected a ftudious air, and took care to furnifh my table with volumes of a felect fort; upon these I was prepared to defcant, if by chance a curious friend took up any one of them, and as there is little fame to be got by treading in the beaten track of popular opinion, I fometimes took the liberty to be eccentric and paradoxical in my criticisms and cavils, which gained me great refpect from the ignorant, (for upon fuch only I took care to practite this chicanery) fo that in a fhort time I became a fovereign dictator within a certain fet, who looked up to me for fecond hand opinions in all matters of literary taste, and saw myself inaugurated by my flatterers cenfor of all new publications.

My trumpeters had now made fuch a noife in the world, that I began to be in great request, and men of real literature laid out for my acquaint-. ance; but here I acted with a coldnefs, that was