REGLA NSIS ELEGANT EPISTLES. BOOK THE FIFTH. RECENT LETTERS. SECTION I. FROM MRS. ELIZABETH MONTAGU, LADY MARY WORTLEY MONTAGUE, DR. JOHNSON, AND OTHERS. LETTER I. fancy in matrimony one finds variety in one, in the charming vicissitudes From Mrs. Elizabeth Montagu to of the Duchess of Portland. Madam, Hatch, 11, 1738. "Sometimes my plague, sometimes my darling; Kissing to-day, to-morrow snarling." Then the surprising and sudden YOUR grace's very entertaining let-transformation of the obsequious and ter was sent to me at sir Wyndham obedient lover, to the graceful haughKnatchbull's, where I have been tiness and imperiousness of the comabout three weeks, and propose re-manding husband, must be so agreeturning to Mount Morris in a few able a metamorphosis as is not to be days. I am as angry as I dare be equalled in all Ovid's collection, with your grace, that you did not send where I do not remember a lamb's beany account of those charming fire- ing transformed into a bear. Your works, which I fancy were the pret-grace is much to be pitied, who has tiest things imaginable. I very much never known the varieties I mention, approve your love of variety in tri- but has found all the sincerity of fles, and constancy in things of great- friendship, and complacency of a er moment. I think you have great lover in the same person; and I am reason to call exchange robbery, sure my lord duke is a most miserathough the common saying is to the ble man, who has found one person contrary. For my part, who never who has taken away that passion for saw one man that I loved, I scarce change, which is the boast and hapimagine I could be fond of a dozen, piness of so many people. Pray tell and come to that unreasonableness so my lord Dupplin that I never heard ridiculously set forth in Hippolyto in of a viscount that was a prophet in the Tempest; at present I seldom my life. I assure you I am not golike above six or eight at a time. I ing to tie the fast knot you mention : VOL. IV. Nos. 51 & 52. B 2 ELEGANT EPISTLES. [BOOK V. whenever I have any thoughts of it I you neglected your health; but since shall acquaint your grace with it, and you have had advice, there is one send you a description of the gentle- safe step taken. As for me, I have man with his good qualities and faults swallowed the weight of an apothein full length. At present I will tell cary in medicine; and what I am you what sort of a man I desire, which the better, except more patient and is above ten times as good as I de- less credulous, I know not. I have serve; for gratitude is a great virtue, learnt to bear my infirmities, and and I would have cause to be thank- not to trust to the skill of physicians ful. He should have a great deal of for curing them. I endeavor to drink sense and prudence to direct and in- deep of philosophy, and to be wise struct me, much wit to divert me, when I cannot be merry, easy when beauty to please me, good humour to I cannot be glad, content with what indulge me in the right, and reprove cannot be mended, and patient where me gently when I am in the wrong; there is no redress. The mighty can money enough to afford me more than do no more, and the wise seldom do I can want, and as much as I can as much. You see I am in the main wish; and constancy to like me as content with myself, though many long as other people do, that is, till would quarrel with such an insignifimy face is wrinkled by age, or scar- cant, idle, inconsistent person; but red by the small pox; and after that I am resolved to make the best of all I shall expect only civility in the room circumstances around me, that this of love, for as Mrs. Clive sings, "All I hope of mortal man, short life may not be half lost in pains, "well remembering and applying the necessity of dying." Be When I can meet all these things in tween the periods of birth and burial, a man above the trivial consideration I would fain insert a little happiness, of money, you may expect to hear I a little pleasure, a little peace: to-day am going to change the easy tran- is ours, yesterday is past, to-morrow quillity of mind I enjoy at present, may never come. I wonder people for a prospect of happiness; for I am can so much forget death, when all like Pygmalion, in love with a pic- we see before us is but succession; ture of my own drawing, but I never minute succeeds to minute, season saw an original like it in my life; I to season, summer dies as winter hope when I do, I shall, as some po- comes. et says, find the statue warm. I am, madam, your most obedient humble servant, ELIZ. ROBINSON. LETTER II. The dial marks the change of hour, every night brings death-like sleep, and morning seems a resurrection; yet, while all changes and decays, we expect no alteration, unapt to live, unready to die, we lose the present and seek the future, ask much for what we have not, thank Providence but little for what we have; our youth From Mrs. Elizabeth Montagu to the has no joy, our middle age no quiet, Duchess of Portland. Madam, our old age no ease, no indulgence; ceremony is the tyrant of this day, 1738. fashion of the other, business of the next. Little is allowed to freedom, As your grace tenders my peace happiness, and contemplation, the of mind, you will be glad to hear I adoration of our Creator, the admiam not so angry as I was. I own Iration of his works, and the inspecwas much moved in spirit at hearing tion of ourselves. But why should I trouble your grace with these reflec- hyp will never venture to attack him tions. What my little knowledge in a public place; it is the sweet can suggest, you must know better: companion of solitude, and the offwhat my short experience has shown, spring of meditation; the disease of you must have better observed. I an idle imagination, not the child of am sure any thing is more accepta- hurry and diversion. I am afraid ble to you than news and compli-that, with the gayeties of the place, ments, so I always give your grace and the spirits the waters give, I shall the present thoughts of my heart. I be perfect sal volatile, and open my beg my compliments to lady Oxford, mouth and evaporate. I wish you who I hope is better. I am, madam, your grace's most obedient servant, E. ROBINSON. LETTER III. and his grace much comfort, and lady Bell much joy upon the occasion of her marriage. I imagine she only waits for the writings. Lawyers, who live by delay, do not consider it is often the death of love. They would rather break an impatient lov From Mrs. Elizabeth Montagu to the er's heart, than make a flaw in the Duchess of Portland. Mount Morris, Oct. 10, 1739. writings. Then they think of the jointure, and separation of the turtles, who think they can never part Madam, from, or survive each other; at last It is extremely good of your grace they are convinced they loved, but to continue to make me happy at a the lawyer reasoned. Your grace, time when I can neither see nor by experience, knows what makes hear from you. I should have written matrimony happy; from observation upon my leaving lady Knatchbull's, I can tell what makes it miserable. but the country and the head-ache But I can define matrimonial happiare certainly the worst correspond-ness only like wit, by negatives: 'tis ents, as well as the dullest compa- not kissing, that's too sweet; 'tis nions, in the world. I have promised not scolding, that's too sour; 'tis not continually to trouble you no more, raillery, that's too bitter; nor the having exhausted all my epistolary continual shuttlecock of reply, for matter; but I cannot help expressing that's too tart. In short, I hardly my gratitude to my lord duke, who know how to season it to my taste; is certainly a person of indefatigable but I would neither have it tart, nor good nature. I hope soon to have mawkishly sweet. I should not like the pleasure of seeing you in my way to live upon metheglin or verjuice; to Bath, and beg you will give orders and then, for that agreeable variety to your porter to admit me: for if not, of "sometimes my plague, someas I am grown thin since my indis- times my darling," it would be worse position, he will think it is my ghost than any thing; for recollection and shut the door; and if you should would never suffer one either entirely afterwards read in your visiting book, to love them when good, or hate them Miss Robinson from the shades be- when bad. I believe your grace will low, you will guess the meaning of easily suppose I am not a little pleasit; but remember I am not going to ed at escaping the stupidity of a winbe dipt in Lethe, but the Bath water. ter in the country. I have heard I shall stay but a few days in town, people speak with comfort of being and then proceed with my father and as merry as a cricket, but for my mother to the waters of life and re- part I do not find the joy of being cocovery. My papa's chimney-corner habitant of the fire side with them. B 2 I am in very good spirits here, and cruelty, but I was the first friend should be so were I in a desert; I who was despatched by her neglect. borrow from the future the happiness I thought it proper to acquaint you I expect; and from the past, by re- with my misfortune, and therefore collection, bring it back to the present. called for the pen and ink Mrs. Rowe I can sit and live over those hours I had used to write her Letters from passed so pleasantly with you when I the Dead to the Living, and consultwas in town, and in hope enjoy those ed with the melancholy lovers you I may have the pleasure of passing had sent there before me, what I with you again. I was a month at should say to you. One was for beHatch, where the good humour of the ginning, Obdurate fair; one for adfamily makes every thing agreeable; dressing you in metre; another in we had great variety in the house: metaphor; but I found these lovers children in cradles, and old women so sublime a set of ghosts, that their in elbow chairs. I think the family advice was of no service to me, so I may be looked upon like the three applied to the other inhabitants of tenses, the present, past, and future. Erebus. I went to Ixion for counI am very glad to hear the marquis sel; but his head was so giddy with and the little ladies are well; I beg turning, he could not give me a steady my compliments to his grace. The opinion; Sisyphus was so much out hour for ghosts to rest is come, so I of breath with walking up hill he must vanish; I shall appear again in could not make me an answer. Tana white sheet of paper ere long; but talus was so dry he could not speak what can I write from a place where to be understood; and Prometheus I know nothing but that I am, your had such a gnawing at his stomach grace's humble servant, he could not attend to what I said. Presently after I met Eurydice, who asked me if I could sing a tune, for Pluto had a very good ear, and I might release her for ever, for though E. ROBINSON. LETTER IV. From Mrs. Elizabeth Montagu to the Madam, "Fate had fast bound her, With Styx nine times round her, I told her I had no voice, but that -1739. there was one lady Wallingford in the other world, who could sing and As I always acquaint your grace play like her own Orpheus, but that with my motions from place to place, I hoped she would not come thither I think it incumbent on me to let a great while. The Fatal Sisters you know I died last Thursday; said they had much fine thread to having that day expected to hear of spin for her yet, and so madam Eua certain duchess, and being disap- rydice must wait with patience.— pointed, I fell into a vexation, and Charon says the packet-boat is ready, from thence into a chagrin, and from and ghosts will not wait, so I must that into a melancholy, with a com- take my leave of you to my great plicated et cetera, and so expired, grief; for, as Bays in the Rehearsal and have since crossed the Styx, says, ghosts are not obliged to speak though Charon was loth to receive sense, I could have added a great me into the boat. Pluto inquired deal more. Pluto gives his service, into the cause of my arrival; and and Proserpine is your humble serupon telling him it, he said, that la- vant. We live here very elegantly; dy had sent many lovers there by her we dine upon essence like the duke of Newcastle; we eat and drink the been convinced it was in your power soul and spirit of every thing; we to give me happiness, and I shall beare all thin and well-shaped, but what gin to think health too, for I have most surprised me was to see sir been much better ever since I receivRobert Austin,* who arrived here ed it. I hope the duke is entirely when I did, a perfect shadow; in- well of his new disorder; I am sure deed I was not so much amazed his grace will never have it much, that he had gone the way of all flesh, for it is a distemper always accompaas to meet him in the state of all spi- nied by peevishness; and as he has rit. At first I took him for sir not the smallest grain of that in his his cousin; but upon hearing him composition, he can never have a say how many ton he was shrunk in constitution troubled with the gout. circumference, I easily found him What will this world come to now out. I shall wait patiently till our duchesses drink gin and frequent packet wafts me a letter from your fairs! I am afraid your gentlemen grace: being now divested of passion, did not pledge you, or they might can, as a ghost, stay a post or two have resisted the frost and fatigue by under your neglect, though flesh the strength of that comfortable liand blood could not bear it. All quor. I want much to know whether that remains of me is your faithful your grace got a ride in the flying shade, E. ROBINSON. coach, which is part of the diversion of a fair. I am much obliged to you for wishing me of the party; I should have liked it extremely. When you P. S. Pray lay up my letter where it cannot hear the cock crow, or it will vanish, having died a maid.There are a great many apes who go again, pray beware of a thaw, lest were beaus in your world, and I have you should meet with your final dissoa promise of three more who made a lution. Lady Berkshire, Mrs. Grefine figure at the last birth-day, but ville, and her daughter, called upon cannot outlive the winter. me yesterday. Every body takes pity on me now I am confined so much. Written from Pluto's palace by I am much obliged to your grace for darkness visible. LETTER V. forming schemes for me. If any castles come to my share, they must be airy ones, for I have no materials to build them on terra firma. I am not a good chimerical architect: and be From Mrs. Elizabeth Montagu to the sides, I would rather dwell this sumDuchess of Portland. Bath, Jan. 30, 1740. mer in a small room in a certain noble mansion near Gerrard's Cross, than in the most spacious building I Madam, could have. I shall not be troubleIT is said, Expectation enhances the value of a pleasure. I think will be so long, that our family will some to you in town; for our stay here your letters want nothing to add to hardly go down till the end of May. I the satisfaction they give, and I have many things to say which can be would not have your grace take the conveyed to your knowledge by no method of delay to give a zest to your way but through your ear. The time favours: however, your letter did give will come that we shall meet at Phime the greatest pleasure; I must lippi. Time, though swift, seems slow have been sunk in insensibility if it while its progress is towards our wishhad not made me happy. I have long es: if I was at the old gentleman's * A very fat man. elbow I should shake his hour-glass |