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leave his claret and companions for a litle conversation with me: He was bred at the Dublin university; and, being a very deep scholar, has fine talents for a tate a tate.

Whit. She knows him too! I shall have my house overrun with the Mac Brawns, O'Shoulders, and the blood of the Backwells: Lord have mercy upon me!

Wid. Pray, Mr Whittol, is that poor spindle-legg'd crater of a cousin of yours lately married? ha! ha! ha! I don't pity the pool crater his wife, for that agreable cough of his will soon reward her for all her sufferings.

Whit. What a delivery! a reprieve before the knot was tied. [Aside. Wid. Are you unwell, Mr Whittol? I should be sorry you would fall sick before the happy day. Your being in danger afterwards would be a great consolation to me, because I should have the pleasure of nursing you myself. Whit. I hope never to give you that trouble, Madam. Wid. No trouble at all, at all; I assure you, Sir, from my soul, that I shall take great delight in the occasion. Whit. Indeed, Madam, I believe it.

Wid. I don't care how soon, the sooner the better; and the more danger the more honour: I spake from my heart.

Whit. And so do I from mine, Madam. (sighs.)

Wid. But don't let us think of future pleasure, and neglect the present satisfaction. My mantua-maker is waiting for me to choose my clothes, in which I shall forget the sorrows of Mrs Brady in the joys of Mrs Whittol. Though I have no fortune myself, I shall bring a tolerable one to you, in debts, Mr Whittol; and which I will pay you tinfold in tinderness: Your deep purse, and my open heart, will make us the envy of the little grate ones, and the grate little ones; the people of quality with no souls, and grate souls with no cash at all. I hope you'll meet me at the pantaon this evening. Lady Rantiton, and her daughter Miss Nettle down, and Nancy Tittup, with half a dozen Maccaroonies, and two Savoury Vivers, are to take me there; and we propose a grate dale of chat and merriment, and dancing all night, and all other kind of recreations. İ am quite another kind of a ciator, now I am a bird in the fields; I can junket about a week together: I have a fine constitution, and am never molested with your nasty va

pours

pous. Are you exen troubled with vapours, Mr Whittal?

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Wbit. A little now and then, Madam..

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Wed. I'll rattle 'em away like smoke! there are no vapours where I come. I hate your dumps, and your nerVes, and your megrims: and I had much rather break your rest with a little racketting, than let any thing get into your head that should not be there, Mr Whittol? Whit. I will take care that nothing shall be in my head, but what ought to be there: What a deliverance!

(aside.)

Wid. (looking at her watch.) Bless me! how the hours of the clock creep away when we are plas'd with our company but I must lave you, for there are half hundred people waiting for me to pick your pocket, Mr Whittol. And there is my own brother. Lieutenant O'Neale, is to arrive this morning; and he is so like me, you would not know us asunder when we are together; you will be very fond of him, poor lad! He lives by his wits, as you do by your fortune, and so you may assist one another. Mr Whittol, your obadient, 'till we meet at the pantaon. Follow me, Pompey; and Skips, do you follow him.

Pomp. The Baccararo whiteman no let blacky boy go fist after you, missis; they pull and pinch me.

Foot. It is a shame, your Ladyship, that a black negro should take place of English Christians-We can't follow him, indeed.

Wid. Then you may follow one another out of my sarvice; if you follow me, you shall follow him, for he shall go before me: Can'. I make him your superior, as the laws of the land have made him your equal? therefore resign as fast at you plase; you shan't oppose government and keep your places too, that is not good politics in England or Ireland either; so come along Pompey, be after going before me Mr Whittol, most tinderly vours. [Exit. 'Ecod I'

O what an escape

Whit. Most tinderly yours! (mimics her.) believe you are, and any body's else. have I had! But how shall I clear myself of this business? I'll serve her as I would bad money, put her off into other hands: My Nephew is fool enough to be in love with her, and if I give him a fortune he'll take the good and the bad together-He shall do so or starve. I'll send for

Bates

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Bates directly, confess my foily, ask his pardon, send him to my Nephew, write and declare off with the Widow, and so get rid of her tinderness as fast as I can.

ACT II.

[Exit.

SCENE, A Room in WHITTLE's House.
Enter BATES and NEPHEW.

W

Nephew, (taking him by the hand.)

E are bound to you for ever, Mr Bates: I can say no more; wods but ill express the real feelings of the heart.

Bates. I know you are a good lad, or I would not have meddled in the matter; but the business is not yet completed till Signatum & Sigillatum.

Nepb. Let me fly to the Widow, and tell her how prosperously we go on,

Butes. Don't be in a hurry, young man; she is not in the dark I assure you, nor has she yet finish'd her part; so capital an actress should not be idle in the last act.

Nepb. I could wish that you would let me come into my uncle's proposal at once, without vexing him farther,

Bates. Then I declare off. Thou silly young man, are you to be dup'd by your own weak good nature, and his worldly caft? This does not arise from his love and justice to you, but from his own miserable situation; he must be tortur'd into justice: he shall not only give up your whole estate, which he is loth to part with, but you must now have a premium for agreeing to your own happiness. What, shall your Widow, with wit and spirit, that would do the greatest honor to our sex, go thro' her task cheerfully; and shall your courage give way, and be outdone by a woman's?-fie for shame!

Neph. I beg your pardon, Mr Bates; I will follow your directions: be as haid-hearted as my uncle, and vex his body and mind for the good of his soul.

Bates. That's a good child: and remember that your own and the Widow's future happiness depends upon

your

Your both going through this business with spirit; m-ke y our uncle feel for himself, that he may do justice to other People. Is the Widow ready for the last experiment?

Neph. She is; but think what anxiety I shall feel while she is in danger?

Bates. Ha ha ha! she'll be in no danger; besides, shan't we be at hand to assist her. Hark! I hear him coming: I'll probe his callous heart to the quick; and, if we are not paid for our trouble, say I am no politician. Fly; now we shall do! [Exit Nephew.

Enter WHITTLE.

Whit. Well, Mr Bates, have you talk'd with my Ne phew? is not he overjoy'd at the proposal?

Bates. The demon of discord has been among you, and has untun'd the whole family; you have screw'd him too high the young man's out of his senses, I think; he stares and mopes about, and sighs-looks at me indeed, but gives very absurd answers. I don't like him.

Whit. What's the matter, think you ?

Bates. What I have always expected. There is a crack in your family, and you take it by turns! you have had it, and now transfer it to your Nephew; which, to your shame be it spoken, is the only transfer you have ever made him.

Whit. But am not I going to do him more than justice? Bates. As you have done him much less than justice hitherto, you can't begin too soon.

Whit. Am not I going to give him the lady he likes, and which I was going to marry myself?

Bates. Yes, that is, you are taking a perpetual blister off your own back, to clap it upon his what a tender uncle you are?

Whit. But you don't consider the estate which I shall give him.

Bates. Restore to him, you mean-'tis his own, and you should have given it up long ago; you must do more, or Old Nick will have you. Your nephew won't take the Widow off your hands without a fortune-throw him ten thousand into the bargain.

Whit. Indeed but I shan't; he shall run mad, and I'l marry her myself rather than do that. Mr Bates, be a

true

true friend, and soothe my Nephew to consent to my proposal.

Bates. You have rais'd the fiend, and ought to lay him; however, I'll do my best for you: When the head is turn'd, nothing can bring it right again so soon as ten thousand pounds. Shall I promise for you? Whit. I'll sooner go to Bedlam myself. [Exit Bates. Why, I'm in a worse condition thau I was before! If this Widow's father will not let me off without providing for his daughter, I may lose a great sum of money, and none of us to be the better for it. My Nephew half mad; my self half married; and no remedy for either of of us. Enter SERVANT.

1

Serv. Sir Patrick O'Neale is come to wait upon you; would you please to see him?

Whit. By all means, the very person I wanted; don't let him wait. [Exit Servant. I wonder if he has seen my letter to the Widow; 1 will sound him by degrees, that I may be sure of my mark before I strike the blow.

Enter Sir PATRICK.

Sir Pat. Mr Whizzle, your humble servant. It gives me grate pleasure, that an old Jontieman of your property, will have the honour of being united with the fa mily of the O'Nales: We have been too much Jontle. men to spend our estate, as you have made yourself a kind of Jontleman by getting one. One runs out one way, and t'other runs in another; which makes them both meet at last, and keeps up the balance of Europe. Whit. I am much oblig'd to you, Sir Patrick; I am an old gentleman, you say true; and I was thinking→

Sir Pat. And I was thinking if you were ever so old, my daughter can't make you young again: She has as fine rich tick blood in her veins as any in all Ireland, I wish you had a dare swate crater of a daughter like nie, that we might make a double cross of it.

Whit That would be a double cross, indeed! (aside.) Sir Pat. Though I was miserable en ugh with my first wife, who had the devil of a spirit, and the very model f her daughter; yet a brave man never shrinks from danger, and I may have better luck another time.

Wbit. Yes, but I am no brave man, Sir Patrick; and I begin to shrink already.

Sir Pat.

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