this house; and here comes an honest man to shew you the way out. Your keys, Sir Enter Toм. [Philip gives the key. Tom. I respect and value you- -You are an honest servant, and shall never want encouragement-Be so good, Tom, as to see that gentleman out of my house, (Points to Philip)-and then take charge of the cellar and plate. Tom. I thank your honour; but I would not rise on the ruin of a fellow-servant. Lov. No remonstrances, Tom; it shall be as I say. [Exeunt servants. Lov. Well Charles, I must thank you for my frolic-it has been a wholesome one to me- Have I done Right? Free. Entirely-No judge could have determin'd betAs you punish'd the bad, it was but justice to reward the good. ter. Lov. A faithful servant is a worthy character. Free And can never receive too much encouragement. • Lov. Right. Free, You have made Tom very happy. • Lov. And I intend to make your Robert so too. Every honest servant should be made happy.' Free. But what an insufferable piece of assurance is it in some of these fellows, to affect and imitate their masters manners? Lov. What manners must these be which they can imitate? Free. True. Lov. If persons of rank would act up to their standard, it would be impossible that their servants could ape them -But when they affect every thing that is ridiculous, it will be in the power of any low creature to follow their example. THE THE IRISH WIDOW. DRAMATIS PERSONÆ. Kecksey, Mr Dodd. Sir Patrick O'Neale, Mr Thomas, Mr Weston. MEN... Footman, Mr Griffiths. WOMEN. Widow Brady Mis Barry. Bates, Mr Baddeley. 19 ACT I. SCENE I. Whittle's Houfe. Enter BATES and SERVANT. BATES. She gone out? his card tells me to come directly- I did but lock up some papers, take my hat and cane, and away I hurried. Serv. My master desires you will sit down, he will return immediately-he had some business with his lawyer, and went out in great haste, leaving the message I have deliver'd. Here is my young master. [Exit Servant, Enter NEPHEW. Bates. What lively Billy!-hold, I Beg your pardonmelancholy William, I think-Here's a fine revolutionI hear your uncle, who was last month all gravity, and you all mirth, have chang'd characters; he is now all spirit, and you are in the dumps, young man. Nepb. And for the same reason-This journey to Scarborough will unfold the riddle. Bates. Come, come, in plain English, and before your uncle comes-explain the matter. Nepb. In the first place I am undone. Bates. Bates. In love, I know-I hope your uncle is not undone too-that would be the devil! Neph. He has taken possession of him in every sense. In short, he came to Scarborough to see the lady I had fallen in love with Bates. And fell in love himself? Neph. Yes, and with the same lady. Bates. That is the devil indeed! Neph. O, Mr Bates! when I thought my happiness complete, and wanted only my uncle's consent, to give me the independance he so often has promis'd me, he came to Scarborough for that purpose, and wish'd me joy of my choice; but, in less than a week, his approbation turn'd into a passion for her: he now hates the sight of me, and is resolv'd, with the consent of the father, to make her his wife directly. Bates. So he keeps you out of your fortune, won't give his cousent, which his brother's foolish will requires, and he would marry himself the same woman, because, right, title, conscience, nature, justice, and every law, divine and human, are against it. Neph. Thus he tricks me at once both of wife and fortune, without the least want of either. Bates. Well said, friend Whittle! but it can't be, it shan't, be, and it must not be-this is murder and robbery in the strongest sense, and he shan't be hang'd in chains to be laugh'd at by the whole town, if I can help it. Neph. I am distracted, the widow is distress'd, and we both shall run mad. Bates. A widow too! 'gad a mercy, threescore and five Neph. But such a widow? She is now in town with her father, who wants to get her off his hands: 'tis equal to him who has her, so she is provided for-I hear somebody coming-I must away to her lodgings, where she waits for me to execute a scheme directly for our deli verv. Bates. What is her name, Billy? Neph. Brady. Bates. Brady! is not she daughter to Sir Patrick O' Neale? Nepb. The same, She was sacrific'd to the most senselefs less drunken profligate in the whole country: He lived to run out his fortune; and the only advantage she got from the union was, he broke that and his neck before he had broke her heart. Bates. The affair of marriage is, in this country, put upon the easiest footing; there is neither love or hate in the matter; necessity brings them together; they are united at first for their mutual convenience, and separated ever after for their particular pleasures-O rare matrimony!Where does she lodge? Neph. In Pail-Mall, near the hotel. Butes. I'll call in my way, and assist at the consultation; I am for a bola stroke, if gentle methods should fail. Neph. We have a plan, and a spirited one, if my sweet widow is able to go through it-pray let us have your friendly assistance-ours is the cause of love and reason. Bates. Get you gone, with your love and reason, they seldom pull together now-a-days-I'll give your uncle a duse first, and then I'll meet you at the widow's-What says your uncle's privy councellor, Mr Thomas, to this? Neph. He is greatly our friend, and will enter sincerely into our service-he is honest, sensible, ignorant, and particular, a kind of half coxcomb, with a thorough good heart-but he's here. Bates. Do you go about your business, and leave the [Exit Nephew. rest to me. Enter THOMAS. Mr Thomas, I am glad to see you; upon my word: you look charmingly-you wear well, Mr Thomas. Tho. Which is a wonder, considering how times go, Mr Bates they'll wear and tear me too, If I don't take care of myself-my old master has taken the nearest way to wear himself out and all that belong to him. Bates. Why surely this strange story about town is not true, that the old gentleman is fall'n in love? Tho. Ten times worse than that! Bates. The devil! Tho. And his horns going to be married! Bates. Not if I can help it. Tho. You never saw such an alter'd man in your bon days!-he's grown young again; he frisks, and prances and runs about, as if he had a new pair of legs, he has left off his brown camlet surtout, which he wore all sumVOL. III. I mer, mer, and now, with his hat under his arm, he goes open breasted, and he dresses, and powders, and smirks, so that you would take him for the mad Frenchman in Bedlam— something wrong in his upper story—Would you think it ? -he wants me to wear a pig-tail! Bates. Then he is far gone indeed ! Tho. As sure as you are there, Mr Bates, a pig-tail !— we have had sad work about it-I made a compromise with him to wear these ruffled shirts which he gave me; but the sta ̈d in my way—I am not so listness with them-though I have tied up my hands for him, I won't tie up my head, that I am resolute. Bates. This it is to be in love, Thomas? Tho. He may make free with himself, he shan't make a fool of me he has got his head into a bag, but I won't have a pig-tail tack'd to mine—and so I told him. Bates. What did you tell him? Tho. Tht as I, and my father, and his father before me, had wore their own hair as heaven had sent it, I thought myself rather too old to set up for a monkey at my time of life, and wear a pig-tail-be! he he!-he took it. Bates. With a wry face for it was wormwood. Tho. Yes, he was frump'd, and cali'd me old block head, and would not speak to me the rest of the day-but the next day he was at it again—he th. n put me into a passion -and I could not help te'ling him, that I was an Englishman born, and had my prerogative as well as he; and that as long as I had breath in my body I was for liberty, and a strait head of hair! Bates. Well said Thomas-he could not answer that. Tho. The poorest man in England is a match for the greatest, if he will but stick to the laws of the land, and the statute books, as they are delivered down from us to our forefathers. Bates. You are right-we must lay our wits together, and drive the widow out of your old master's head, and put her into your young masters hands. Tho. With all my heart--nothing can be more meritori❤ ous-marry at his years! what a terrible account would he make of it, Mr Bates !-Let me see on the debtor side sixty-five-and per contra creditor a buxom widow of scade twenty |