marry for love and such old-fashion'd stuff, are to me as ridiculous as those that advertise for an agreeable comparin in a post-chaise. Sir John. I have done, my lord; Miss Tittup shall either return with me into the country, or not a penny shall she have from Sir John Trotley, Baronet, [Whistles and walks about. Miss Tit. I am frighten'd out of my wits! [Lord Minikin sings and sits down. Sir John. Pray, my lord, what husband is this you have for her? Lord Min. A friend of mine; a man of wit, and a fine gentleman. Sir John. May be so, and yet make a damn'd husband for all that, You'll excuse me!-What estate has he pray? Lord Min. He's a Colonel; his eldest brother, Sir Tan Tivy, will certainly break his neck, and then my friend will be a happy man. Sir John. Here's morals! a happy man when his brother has broke his neck!. -a happy man-mercy on me! Lord Min. Why he'll have six thousand a year, Sir John 1 Sir John. I don't care what he'll have, nor I don't care what he is, nor who my niece marries; she is a fine lady, and let her have a fine gentleman; I shan't hinder her; I'll away into the country to-morrow, and leave you to your fine doings; I have no relish for 'em, not I; I can't live among you, nor eat with you, nor game with you; I hate cards and dice, I will neither rob nor be robb'd; I am contented with what I have, and am very happy, my lord, though my brother has not broke his neck you'll excuse me! [Exit. Lord Min. Ha, ha, ha! Come, fox, come out of your hole! Ha, ha, ha! Miss Tit. Indeed, my lord, you have undone me; not a foot shall I have of Trotley Manor, that's positive!—but no matter, there's no danger of his breaking his neck, so I'll e'en make myself happy with what I have, and behave to him, for the future, as if he was a poor relation. Lord Minikin. [Kneeling, snatching her band, and kissing it. VOL. III. G I must I must kneel and adore you for your spirit; my sweet heavenly Lucreția ! Re-enter Sir JOHN. Sir John. One thing I had forgot- [starts. Sir John. Why, what the devil!-heigho! my niece Lucretia, and my virtuous lord, studying speeches for the good of the nation.-Yes, yes, you have been making fine speeches, indeed, my lord; and your arguments have prevail'd, I sée. I beg your pardon, I do not mean to interupt your studies-you'll excuse me, my lord? Lord Minikin. [Smiling and mocking him. You'll excuse me, Sir John! Sir John. O yes, my lord, but I'm afraid the devil won't excuse you at the proper time-Miss Lucretia, how do you, child? You are to be married soon-I wish the gentleman joy; Miss Lucretia; he is a happy man to be sure and will want nothing but the breaking of his brother's neck to be completely so. Miss Tit. Upon my word, uncle, you are always putting bad constructions upon things; my lord has been soliciting me to marry his friend-and having that momentextorted a consent from me-he was thinking-and-and -wishing me joy in his foolish manner. [Hesitating. Sir John. Is that all !-but how came you here, child? did you fly down the chimney, or in at the window? for I don't remember seeing you when I was here before. Miss Tit. How can you talk so, Sir John? You really confound me with your suspicions; and then you ask so many questions, and I have so many things to do, that-that-upon my word, if I don't make haste, I shan't get my dress ready for the ball, so I must-run-You'll excuse me uncle ! [Exit running. Sir John. A fine hopeful young lady that, my lord? Lord Min. She's well-bred, and has wit. Sir John. She his wit and breeding enough to laugh at her relations, and bestow favours on your lordship; but I must tell you plainly, my lord-you'll excuse me-that your marrying your cousin, to use her ill, and sending for my niece, your lady my cousin, to debauch her— Lord Min. You're warm, Sir John, and don't know the the world, and I never contend with ignorance and a passion; live with me some time, and you'll be satisfied of my honour and good intensions to you and your family; in the mean time command my house; I must away to lady Filligree's-and I am sorry you won't make one with us-here, Jessamy, give me my domino, and call a chair; and don't let my uncle want for any thing: you'll excuse me Sir John; tol, lol, derol, &c. [Exi. Sir John. The world's at an end!-here's fine work! here are precious doings; this Lord is a pillar of the state too; no wonder that the building is in danger with such rotten supporters; heigho!—and then my poor lady Minikin, what a friend and husband she is bless'd with! let me consider!-should tell the good woman of these pranks? I may only make more mischief, and mayhap go near to kill her, for she's as tender as she's virtuous;poor lady! I'll e'en go and comfort her directly, and endeavour to draw her from the wickedness of this town into the country, where she shall have reading, fowling, and fishing to keep up her spirits, and when I die, I will leave her that part of my fortune, with which I intended to reward the virtues of Miss Lucretia Tittup, with a plague to her! Lady MINIKIN'S Apartments. [Exit. Lady MINIKIN and COLONEL TIVY difcover'd. Lady Min. Don't urge it, Colonel; I can't think of coming home from the masquerade this evening; tho' I should pass for my niece, it would make an uproar among the servants; and perhaps from the mistake break of your match with Tittup. Col. Truy. My dear lady Minikin, you know my marriage with your niece is only a secondary consideration; my first and principal object is you-you, Madam!-therefore, my dear lady, give me your promise to leave the ball with me; you must, lady Minikin; a bold young fellow and a soldier as I am, ought not to be kept from plunder when the town has capitulated. Lady Min. But it has not capitulated, and perhaps nover will; however, Colonel, since you are so curious, I must come to terms, I think-Keep your eyes upen me G 2 at at the ball, I think I may expect that, and when I drop my handkerchief, 'tis your signal for pursuing; I shall get home as fast as I can, you may follow me as fast as you can; my Lord and Tittup will be otherwise employed: Gymp will let us in the back way-No, no, my heart misgives me! Col. Tivy. Then I am miserable! Lady Min. Nay, rather than you should be miserable, Colonel, I will indulge your martial spirit; meet me in the field; there's my gauntlet. [Throws down ber glove. Col. Tivy. [Seizing it.] Thus I accept your sweet challenge; and if I fail you, may I hereafter, both in love and war, be branded with the name of coward. [Kneels and kisses her band. Enter Sir JoHN opening the door. Sir John. May I presume, cousin- [Squalls. Sir John. Mercy upon us, what are we at now! [looks astonished. Lady Min. How can you be so rude, Sir John, to come into a lady's roo:n without first knocking at the door? you have frighten'd me out of my wits! Sir John. I am sure you have frighten'd me out of mine! Col. Tivy. Such rudeness deserves death! Sir John. Death indeed! for I shall never recover my self again- All pigs of the same stye! all studying for the good of the nation! Lady Min. We must soothe him, and not provoke him. [Half aside to the Colonel. Col. Tivy. I would cut his throat if you'd permit me. (Aside to lady Minikin. Sir John. The devil has got his hoof in the house, and has corrupted the whole family; I'll get out of it as fast [Going. as I can, lest he should lay hold of me too. Lady Min. Sir John, I must insist upon your not going away in a mistake. Sir John. No mistake, my lady, I am thoroughly convinced. Mercy on me! Lady Min. I mast beg you, Sir John, not to make any wrong constructions upon accident: you must know, that the 1 the moment you was at the door-I had pronris'd the Colonel no longer to be his enemy in his designs upon Miss Tittup this threw him into such a rapture-that upon promising my interest with you-and wishing him joy -he fell upon his knees, and-and-(laughing) ha, ha, ha! Col. Tivy. Ha, ha, ha! yes, yes, I fell upon my knees, and-and Sir John. Ay, ay, fell upon your knees, and-and-ha, ha! a very good, joke faith: and the best of it is, that they are wishing joy all over the house upon the same occasion: and my lo d is wishing joy, and I wish him joy, and you with all my heart. Lady Min. Upon my word, Sir John, your cruel suspi cions affect me strongly; and tho' my resentment is curb'd by my regard, my tears cannot be restrain'd; 'tis the only Jesourse my innocence has left. [Exit crying. Col. Tivy. I reverence you, sir, as a relation to that lady, but as her slanderer I detest you: her tears must be died, and my honour satisfied; you know what I mean: take your choice; time, place, sword, or pistol; consider it calmly, and determine as you please; I am a Soldier, Sir John. Sir John. Very fine, truly! and so between the crocodile and the bully, my throat is to be cut; they are guilty of all sorts of iniquity, and when they are discovered, no humility, no repentance! the ladies have recourse to their tongues or their tears, and the gallants to their swordsThat I may not be drawn in by the one, or drawn upon by the other, I'll hurry into the country while I retain my senses, and can sleep in a whole skin. [Exit. ACT II. Enter Sir JOHN and JESSAMY. Sir John we in! upon my werd, Mr Jessamy, you HERE is no hearing this! what a land are should look well to the house, there are certainly rogues about it; for I did but cross the way just now to the pamphlet-stop, to buy a touch of the times, and they have taken By honger from my side; ay, and had a pluck at my G 3 watch |