and filled it was well repaid for his liberality by a bountiful sprinkling of its jet de juice. An old Dutch "mirror," that had often shown the physiognomies of the Inamorati, and their predecessors, suffered a collision with his fist-and its face broke out. And all the while, a most unhuman noise came from his stretching mouth, his eyes shone, and hair flew like the ancient Sibyls! "He's crazy! he's mad!" roared from every quarter: Ichabod rushed into the closet to find a rope; and Fidget, darting to the window, was about to 'cry out, "Help! ho! the watch!" when Phlogiston, whose left cheek stuck out with a huge antidote, snatched the paper that was the cause of all the uproar and—the Secretary stood alone-while the alarming document was read.

"As I went lorn, one fri-day morn,

I had most wondrous luck;

I caught a beast, and made a feast,

Of what some call wood chuck.
CHо. He he he!"

One flare-up followed, and there was awful silence. The Secretary looked like a cur detected in filching bacon, sneaking under the table, with his tail carefully protected by his legs; Phlogiston meditated sorrowfully on his new pants, well wet at first putting on, according to custom; and the Speaker, having got into an abstraction, was probably somewhere-in China. At last, Ichabod, who had long been laboring to concoct a new idea, sung out, "I've got it! I've got it"-" a prodigious birth," roared Bufo, "what's coming?" "Alas!" continued Ichabod," what fools we've been! for six long months have we all labored officially with head and hands like Guinea slaves. Think you, John Bull's Parliament, or Uncle Sam's Congress would have committed an act so reprehensible? Never. Let us, then, rise to our proper dignity, ascend above this drudgery, and shift it off into the hands of a committer." Agreed," came from all quarters of the room; "move that Ichabod be its Chairman and all hands." "Aye," said the Speaker, "the committee will please report at the next meeting ;" and Ichabod, who had unwittingly overlooked this probable conclusion, suddenly found himself overwhelmed with work for a fortnight, and looked just as any body else would, caught so dexterously in his own trap.

66

During this effectual burst of eloquence, Phlogiston, seizing his hat and cane, and carefully gliding to the door, was off, unnoticed by most of the Inamorati. Poor Ichabod looked the very image of despair, and when the Speaker proceeded to make the usual inquiry for miscellaneous business, the honors of his situation bursting on his mind, made him sob out, "For heaven's sake, not yet-don't, gentlemen, don't inflict upon me the outrageous task of reading all these unreadable eternitieswhy, 'twill give me the delirium tremens, and alas for sweet vacation all used up in this villainous job; think of a month of precious existence wasted so-think of my home, where they all expect me next week-think of her, that lovely one, whom❞— "stop," said the Speaker, "that last consideration unmans us, and out of mere grace, we order the examination to proceed-so far, at least, that Ichabod can finish the rest in time to kiss his lady.”

Such being the stern decision, some half a dozen elbow points again pressed the groaning table. "Fidget," said Bufo, "will you please to count these papers, and let me mark them down as you proceed, by fives. I should like to calculate the probable length of our term of imprisonment." "Count them!" ejaculated Fidget, "I would as soon attempt to count the strokes of the morning prayer-bell, when it jingles its horrid din in our half-asleep ears; and I think, by the way, that impudent dangler will soon break up our deliberations, for I heard a cock crow, up town, long

since." "A cock "" replied the other; "no, 'twas only the echo of the Secretary's rumpus, though, 'pon honor, there's not much difference-none, if Diogenes would only feather him." During this small talk, Ichabod, in more sober mood, as became him, was diving into the papers, and now quietly said, "Here's an article that is very relevant to this subject, entitled, "The Belle, a Story of the Springs." "Please read it," said the Speaker. And Ichabod carried the heroine, a dashing lady of unknown origin, while we followed attentively in her train, through all the cities of the Union and Canada; and seemed about to repeat the operation, when Bufo said he would like to inquire how far off the end was, and whether Canada was the most direct route to the "Springs." "The end," replied Ichabod, " is cut off, for it seems to be wanting, and, therefore, however far I go, I shall never reach it." "Move it be infinitely deferred, with a promise to call when she gets there," said Fidget. Passed unanimously.

"But here's a cart load yet," proceeded the Speaker; "how shall we dispatch these? in the gross, or singly?" "By lot," said one; "by weight," echoed another; "by Ichabod, the committee," rejoined a third; but that worthy individual had seized a manuscript with both hands, and was reading with all his might. "Let's follow his example," chimed in the rest; and a moment afterwards the old way was in successful practice again, after the trial of Secretary and committee; each of the Inamorati sat bolt upright, with a formidable roll of paper within an inch or two of his nose, scowling as he limped over the unreadableness. Even the Speaker condescended to crawl through the tardy lines of an Alexandrian poem on "Laziness." "The writer of this," said he, "shows that he has had great experience, and it's enough to make one a sluggard by induction; for the public good, then, it can't go." "I think that will do,” said Bufo, laying down an essay; and just then we seemed to have struck a rich vein in the mine, for several fine articles came to hand. At last, the Speaker assorted the rejected, and found fourteen sonnets in imitation of Milton's, four epic poems, a multitude of essays on as many new subjects, a mysticotranscendental-out-of-sight disquisition on "The Spiritual," and innumerable smaller articles, besides those left for the comfort of Ichabod.

"Miscellaneous business in order," sounded gruffly from the Speaker. "Well, then," said Fidget, that date on the sixty-second page in the last number had better be corrected in errata at the end of the volume. The true date is 1783; I mean that in the seventh line from the foot. Though, on this matter, I move that all mistakes be attributed to our friend the Devil; who, in fact, is a very skillful necromancer, and sometimes makes the most curious transformations. I lately called at his office, and saw him, with one stroke, turn a hose into a nose, and an engine into an engi. neer; and the public were soon after astonished by the report, that the new engineer has a most beautiful, flexible nose, five inches in diameter, and fifty rods in length;" ha! ha! "The gentleman is out of order," said the Speaker; "it is highly improper to desecrate this literary sanctum, by such dark allusions." his remarks be expunged," said Ichabod. "Volat irrevocabile," interposed Bufo, "his sulphurous majesty is abroad; he leaves a trail of"

"Move

"Hark! what noise is that?" said Fidget; and hushed was every voice. Intensely we listened. "Did you hear any thing," whispered Ichabod, trembling in every limb, and looking all eyes. "Yes, and there! again it sounds." It was now perfectly audible, and seemed to come in hollow echoes from a vast depth, directly under us. We thought some imp was surely coming, commissioned to take ven. geance on us for speaking thus lightly of his master. In the mean time, the noise increased like a coming earthquake; a slow, iron tread resounded through the hall

like thunder. Our hair began to bristle, and a pair of shining fire-balls seemed to blaze in every head. Stomp-crash-slam-up, up, 'twas coming deliberately, on the stairs. The Speaker, forgetting his dignity, tumbled from his seat, and was the first man to ensconce his precious person behind the coffin. The example was contagious. Ichabod rolling over the Speaker, and beyond the tomb, pitched into the closet, and tried to hide himself under a ton of coal. Bufo darting to our side of the room, crawled under the carpet, which shook with his trembling like a cranberry swamp; and Fidget leaping up, landed head first in a barrel half full of ashes, that stood by the open door of the coal room. Rap-rap-bang-now thundered on the door. "Exorcizo te," mumbled the Speaker. Bang-bang-again rattled the door, mingled with another sound, like the gurgling of some liquid in the process of abolition. At last, the man with gravest looks, humbly rising, and crossing himself thrice, advanced with trembling steps to the key-hole; and even ventured, with awful misgivings, to peep through the crack of the barely opened door-when he espied-not some demon, coming to vex our souls-but the thick lips of a genuine son of Ham; who was tugging up a long basket, full of good things, for the comfort of our bodies; and near by stood Phlogiston, grinning like a hyena, at the terrified looks of his friend. A mutual laugh dissipated the fright within; whereupon the squatters arose en masse, one brushing the ashes from his head, another dusting his coat, the Speaker rising from the cerements, and all boasting of their courage; to prove which, they kicked the nigger down stairs, having first secured the rich contents of his basket, upon which we made ourselves gloriously merry afterwards.

Ichabod was too much gorged by this latter operation, to think of recording the votes of the meeting. Indeed, had some waking wight at that late--or rather early hour-seen him reeling along, supported by two members of the body-guard, and another of the corps passing a few yards in advance, with a most formidable club, to clear the way of all vagrants, he might have entertained some strange suspicions; though we assure those concerned, that 'twas all stuff. As it was, we saw our brother safely stowed away and well tucked up, and then scattered to moralize. About a week afterwards, Ichabod ascended with slow steps to the council-chamber, and deposited in that department the following notices to correspondents.

"The Tail of Affection" is a mighty uncouth appendage. It don't wag at all becomingly. The lawful owner had better make a proper application of it to himself. "Home-I love thee." Very likely; but we like not the "withered sten" in thy weedy garden, nor the jolting road to thy old hearth. We are out of patience with careless rhyme and jarring measure.

"Major Andre" is-well executed.

The paper on "Colt's Suicide," contains mature thought well expressed; but we do not deem it suitable for the Magazine.

"Winter" has no shocking faults, but it lacks warmth, and is of very common oc

currence.

"The Goose-berry Bush," if published, would be strong enough to hang its author on. Out of kindness to him, therefore, we reject it. Several articles on hand are necessarily deferred. Some are under consideration.

By the last page of the cover, it will be seen, that all communications should be sent through the Post Office. For obvious reasons, this rule must hereafter be strictly adhered to; and all articles must be anonymous.