you self, know how to account for this, it is a common infirmity, you have a laugh at his expense, and there is no more to be said. But here is a man who goes out of his way to be absurd, and is troublesome by a romantic effort of generosity. You cannot say to him," All this may be interesting to you, but I have no concern in it :" you cannot put him off in that way. He has got possession of a subject which is of universal and paramont interest and on that plea may hold you by the button as long as he chooses. His delight is to harangue on what nowise regards himself: how then can you refuse to listen to what as little amuses you? Time and tide wait for no man. vegetable diet, and never fails to entertain you all dinner-time with an invective against animal food. One of this self-denying class, who adds to the primitive simplicity of this sort of food the recommendation of having it in a raw state, lamenting the death of a patient whom he had augured to be in a good way as a convert to his system, at last accounted for his disappointment in a whisper-" But she ate meat privately, depend upon it." It is not pleasant, though it is what one submits to willingly from some people, to be asked every time you meet, whether you have quite left off drinking wine, and to be complimented or condoled with on your looks according as you answer in the negative or affirmative. Abernethey thinks his pill an infallible cure for all disorders. There are some who fancy the Com Bill the root of all evil, and others who trace all the miseries of A person once complaining to his life to the practice of muffling up chil- physician that he thought his mode of dren in night-clothes when they sleep treatment had not answered, he assuror travel. They will disclaim by the ed him it was the best in the world, hour together on the first, and argue" and as a proof of it," says he, “ I themselves black in the face on the have had one gentleman, a patient last. It is in vain that you give up with your disorder, under the same the point. They persist in the debate, regimen for the last sixteen years!"— and begin again" But don't you I have known persons whose minds see? These sort of partial obli- were entirely taken up at all times and quities, as they are more entertaining on all occasions with such questions and original, are also by their nature as the Abolition of the Slave-Trade, intermittent. They hold a man but the Restoration of the Jews, or the for a season. He may have one a progress of Unitarianism. year or every two years; and though, while he is in the height of any new discovery, he will let you hear of nothing else, he varies from himself, and is amusing undesignedly. He is not like the chimes at mid-night. People of the character here spoken of, that is, who tease you to death with some one idea, generally differ in their favourite notion from the rest of the world; and indeed it is the love of distinction which is mostly at the bottom of this peculiarity. Thus one person is remarkable for living on a I hate to be surfeited with anything, however sweet. I do not want to be always tied to the same question, as if there were no other in the world.— I like a mind more Catholic. an "I love to talk with mariners, That come from a far countree." I am not for "a collision" but 66 exchange" of ideas. It is well to hear what other people have to say op a number of subjects. I do not wish to be always respiring the same confined atmosphere, but to vary the scene, and get a little relief and fresh air out of doors. Do all we can to palaces, its ladies, and its streets," they shake it off, there is always enough of are the delight, the grace, and orna pedantry, egotism, and self conceit left ment of it. If they are describing the lurking behind: we need not seal our-charins of the country, they give no selves up hermetically in these precious account of any individual spot or obqualities; so as to think of nothing|ject or source of pleasure but the cirbut our own wonderful discoveries, cumstance of there being there. "With and hear nothing but the sound of our them conversing, we forget all place, They own voice. Scholars, like princes, may all seasons, and their change." learn something by being incognito. perhaps pluck a leaf or a flower, paYet we see those who cannot go into tronise it, and hand it you to admire, a bookseller's shop, or bear to be five but select no one feature of beauty or minutes in a stage-coach, without let-grandeur to dispute the palm of perfecting you know who they are. They tion with their own persons. Their carry their reputation about with them rural descriptions are mere landscape as the snail does its shell, and sit un-back-grounds with their own portraits der its canopy, like the lady in the lobster. I cannot understand this at all, What is the use of a man's always revolving round his own little circle? He must, one should think, be tired of it himself, as well as tire other people. A well-known writer says with much boldness both in the thought and expression, that "a Lord is imprisoned in the Bastille of a name, and cannot enlarge himself into man:" and I have known men of genius in the same predicament. " There are persons, who without being chargeable with the vice here spoken of, yet" stand accountant for as great a sin :" though not dull and monotonous, they are vivacious mannerists in their conversation, and excessive egotists. Though they run over a thousand subjects in mere gaiety of heart, their delight still flows from one idea, namely, themselves. Open the book in what page you will, there is a frontispiece of themselves staring you in the face. They are still playing antics and keeping an incessant motion, to attract attention and extort your pittance of approbation. Whether they talk of the town or the country, poetry, or politics, it comes to much the same thing. If they talk to des you of the town, its diversions," its in an engaging attitude in front. They are not observing or enjoying the scene, but doing the honours as masters of the ceremonies to nature, and arbiters of elegance to all humanity. If they tell a love-tale of enamoured princesses, it is plain they fancy themselves the hero of the piece. If they discuss poetry, their encomiums still turn on something genial and unsophisticated, meaning their own style: if they enter into politics, it is understood that a hint from them to the potentates of Europe is sufficient. In short, as a lover (talk of what you will) brings. in his mistress at every turn, so these persons contrive to divert your attention to the same darling object they are, in fact, in love with themselves; and like lovers, should be left to keep. their own company. 10 10 THE TRAVELLER No, de To the Editor of the Literary Melange. SIR, News being the saluting word with almost every description of the community, and it being the peculiar pro-. vince of your Melange to announce the literary news of the day, I shall take the liberty Sir to hand you a paper now and then for a short time, under the appellation of the Traveller, which though neither consisting of the fashions or the politics of the times, and though (as the title implies) these shall chiefly consist of descriptive remarks on our own country, i. e. on certain cities, towns, &c. in Great Britain, taken at the close of the year 1817, though never yet made public, and possibly may not seem news to any one, nevertheless I should he happy to think I could form a short series of interesting remarks worthy a place in your publication if from my common-place book and memory together I could be accurate in my descriptions. From this short apologetical preamble Sir, you will perceive (as will your readers) that nothing great may be expected in this attempt, and that I will think myself sufficiently rewarded if these be found worthy of a perusal and can give any amusement, Knowledge or profit to the reader. I shall not here enter into the motives of the journey that led me to make these notes, but shall merely state that it was more for pleasure than the pleasure is the profit profit, ergo thereof. Being much pleased on the visiting of Port-Glasgow and Greenock (the summer season being far advanced) the noise of the carpenters hamnmers, the stupendous skeletons of vessels, and the bustling manner of these towns, gave me indeed a far nobler opinion of them than I had previously supposed, and produced a relish for visiting other scenes. Dumbarton also, that considerable borough town. After having ferried from the opposite shore I was shewn to the top of the Castle by one of the 20th Regt. from whence I can scarcely point out a more picturesque scene; on the left to the north are the stupendous mountains of the highlands, in particular the gigantic peak of Benlomond and the town of Dumbarton, the latter of which, you completely o'ertop and it appears well on the fore-ground. To view a different part of the panorama, namely to look up the river, which is here of considerable breadth, the scene equally pleased me, I could discover Renfrew, Paisley, &c. a little more, to the right, and on turning round the scenery behind equally gratified my curiosity. On the top of this fortress I was shewn a large round cairn of stones which the soldier told me Sir William Wallace reared that he might from thence view the country, from this we came down to the guard-house, where I was presented with a monstrous tall sword that I was told had been wielded by Wallace. On turning from these sea ports to Paisley, I fancied it but dull and heartless and like to a Sunday, the people walking as saints (so great is the spirit of a sea-port to an inland town) in comparison to the two former of them, though of much greater extent, its abbey, however, is certainly worthy of the historian or antiquary, (and now there is an elegant County Jail, House of Correction, Barracks for foot soldiers, &c. erected here) here also, in almost every street, we have the noisy shuttle heard at every other door and window instead of the carpenters tools, and which gave me singular gratification. Kilmarnock too, a large and populous town and (like Irvine which has a fine harbour) is much handsomer than I had any idea of, all of which sights, as you may perceive, paved the way, and was but a prelude to more cxtensive ones. From this short introductory sketch Sir, you will see my manner is not to dwell long in one place, and to give but a bird's eve view of the scenes as it were, though perhaps too brief an account of the subject in hand-your readers however may think the account of such common topics but too long, and perhaps you may thing it long enough for your paper when you have more important matter. In my next you will find me in Glasgow. I am Sir, THE TRAVELLER. FROM THE NORTH GEORGIA GAZETTE. To the EDITOR of the Winter Chronicle. SIR, I do not know whether you take cognizance of such matters as I am now to address you upon; but if you do, hope you will endeavour to remedy the grievance I complain of. However improbable it may seem to you in these times of somnolency I like to read for an hour or two, now and then, and even to write a little occasionally beyond the daily repetition of "moderate breezes and cloudy," and the formal assertion that we have been "employed as necessary.” Under these circumstances, added to the great scarcity of light in our own cabins at this season, you will, I am certain, enter into my feelings of annoyance, at the innumerable disturbances to which our tables are subject; I allude to the habits which some members of our community have acquired in earlier life, and which they continue to practise daily, to the interruption of the more industrious, and to the absolute preclusion of all serious occupation. I have endeavoured to class these annoyances, or rather those who practise them, under separate heads, of which the first are the Whistlers, who, having a tolerable ear themselves, seem to forget that the rest of us have any ears at all, and are contiually screnading us with "Molly. put the Kettle on," or the " Duke of York's March," with variations, to the utter discomfiture of every reader within hearing. Of the Whistlers there are frequently more than one, and in that case the process is as follows: Whistler the first (whom I shall call A) commences a tune: Whistler the second (B) takes it up about the third or fourth bar, and accompanies him to the end of the stave, by which time A has exhausted his wind, and stopt to replenish his lungs. In the meantime B continues, and just as you are flattering yourself with a hope that he also will be soon winded, and allow you to pursue your employments, a third Whistler (C) at the other end of the table, unexpect edly opens his pipes, and takes a spell' at the bellows; soon after which A once more joins the concert with renewed vigour,and so on ad libitum. Second are the Hummers, who are closely allied to the first class, and are distinguished by employing the greater part of the day in humming songs, which they usually do out of tune, and always out of time. They are in general more sentimental than the Whistlers in their selection of tunes, confining themselves to the Irish melodies, or some plaintive Scotch ditty. Of these they will hum you a detached bar or two occasionally, in the most pathetic strain imaginable, and are particularly fond of filling up in this manner all the little intervals of time, which are not easily disposed of in any other way, such as while the ink is drying on one side of the paper, or while they are mending their pens, or warming their fingers: perhaps, Mr. Editor, you can recommend some mode of proceeding, by which it shall necessarily fall our that all our pens want mending, and all our fingers warming, exactly at the same instant. We could then all have our hum at the same time, and no disturbance would result, as at present, to any individual of the party. The third class are the Drummers, who, to borrow a well-known joke from Joc Miller, were certainly born to make a great noise in the world. They have, like the Whistlers, a tolerable car for music, and occupy a great deal of their time in drumming most musically with both hands upon the table; they usually join the Whistlers, to whom they may, indeed, be considered as an accompaniment. They have been lately practising a new mode of drumming which is performed by placing the wrist upon the table, and then bringing the nails of each finger, beginning with the little one in quick succession, one after the other, their own noses, without annoying their neighbour's ears. Having already exceeded the limits of a letter, I am under the necessity of concluding, without having half finished my list, and shall, perhaps, resame the subject at some future time, should see occasion to do so. In the meanwhile) I remain. Mr. Editor, Your obedient Servant, |