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self, you know how to account for this, vegetable diet, and never fails to enit is a common infirmity, you have a tertain you all dinner-titne with an laugh at his expense, and there is no invective against animal food. Onę more to be said. But here is a man of this self-denying class, who adds to who goes out of his way to be absurd, the primitive simplicity of this sort of and is troublesome by a romantic ef- food the recommendation of having it fort of generosity. You cannot say in a raw state, lamenting the death of to him, “ All this may be interesting a patient whom he had augured to be to you, but I have no concern in it:" in a good way as a convert to his sysyou cannot put him off in that way. tem, at last accounted for his disapHe has got possession of a subject pointment in a whisper—" But she which is of universal and paramont'in- ate meat privately, depend upon it." terest and on that plea may hold you It is not pleasant, though it is what by the button as long as he chooses. one submits to willingly from some His delight" is to harangue on what people, to be asked every time you nowise regards himself; how then can meet, whether you have quite left off you refuse to listen to what as little drinking wine, and to be complimented amuses you?' Time and tide wait or condoled with on your looks acfor no man.
cording as you answer in the negative There are some who fancy the or affirmative. Abernethey thinks his Com Bill the root of all evil
, and pill an infallible cure for all disorders. others who trace all the miseries of A person once complaining to his life to the practice of muffling up chil- physician that he thought his mode of dren in night-clothes when they sleep treatment had not answered, he assuror travel
. They will disclaim by the ed him it was the best in the world, hour together on the first, and argue " and as a proof of it,” says he, “ I themselves black in the face on the have had one gentleman, a patient last. It is in vain that you give up with your disorder, under the same the point. They persist in the debate, regimen for the last sixteen years !". and begin again" But don't you I have known persons whose minds selor pe These sort of partial obli- / were entirely taken up at all times and quities, as they are more entertaining on all occasions with such questions and original, are also by their nature as the Abolition of the Slave-Trade, intermittent. They hold a man but the Restoration of the Jews, or the for a season. He may have one a progress of Unitarianism. year or every two years ; and though, I hate to be surfeited with any thing, while he is in the height of any new however sweet. I do not want to be discovery, he will let you hear of no- always tied to the same question, as if thing else, he varies from himself, and there were no other in the world. is amusing undesignedly. He is not I like a mind more Catholic. like the chimes at mid-night.
“I love to talk with mariners, · People of the character here spo
That come from a far countree." ken of, that is, who tease you to death I am not for “a collision” but “ with some one idea, generally differ in exchange" of ideas. It is well to hear their favourite notion from the rest what other people have to say op a of the world'; and indeed it is the love number of subjects. I do not wish of distinction which is mostly at the to be always respiring the same conbottom of this peculiarity. Thus one fined atmosphere, but to vary the person is remarkable for living on a scene, and get a little relief and fresh
air out of doors. Do all we can to palaces, its ladies, and its streets," they shake it off, there is always enough of are the delight, the grace, and orna. pedantry, egotism, and self conceit left ment of it. If they are describing the lurking behind : we need not seal our charins of the country, they give no selves up hermetically in these precious account of any individual spot or obqualities ; so as to think of nothing ject or source of pleasure but the cirbut our own wonderful discoveries, cumstance of there being there. With and hear nothing but the sound of our them conversing, we forget all place, own voice. Scholars, like princes, may all seasons, and their change." They learn something by being incognito.- perhaps pluck a leaf or a flower, paYet we see those who cannot go into tronise it, and hand it you to admire, a bookseller's shop, or bear to be five but select no one feature of beauty or minutes in a stage-coach, without let- grandeur to dispute the palm of perfecting you know who they are. They tion with their own persons. Their carry their reputation about with them rural descriptions are mere landscape as the-snail.does its shell, and sit un-back-grounds with their own portraits der its canopy, like the lady in the in an engaging attitude in front. They lobster. I cannot understand this at are not observing or enjoying the scene,
all. What is the use of a man's al- but doing the honours as masters of ways revolving round his own little the ceremonies to nature, and arbi
circle? He must, one should think, ters of elegance to all humanity. If be tired of it himself, as well as tire they tell a love-tale of enamoured prinother people. A well-known writer cesses, it is plain they fancy themselves says with much boldness both in the the hero of the piece. If they discuss thought and expression, that " a Lord poetry, their encomiums still turn on
is imprisoned in the Bastille of a name, something genial and unsophisticated, - and cannot enlarge himself into man: meaning their own style: if they enter
and I have known men of genius in into politics, it is understood that a the same predicament.
hint from them to the potentates of * There are persons, who without Europe is sufficient. In short, as a
being chargeable with the vice here lover (talk of what you willy brings.in spoken of, yet “ stand accountant for his mistress' at every tum, sờ these as great a sin :" though not dull and persons contrive to divert your attenmonotonous, they are vivacious man- tion to the same darling object--they nerists in their conversation, and ex- are, in fact, in love with themselves; cessive egotists. Though they run and like lovers, should be left to keep over a thousand subjects in mere gaiety their own company. :*** 31597
agus! of heart, their delight still flows from one idea, namely, themselves. Open
Ceils the book in what page you will, there THE TRAVELLER is a frontispiece of themselves staring
TISTOFOTO SETTE you in the face. They are still play
Inger-Lin. No bobode stil ing antics and keeping an incessant 155 motion, to attract attention and extort To the Editor of the Literary Melange. your pittance of approbation. Whether they talk of the town or the coun- Sik,
AUCT's try, poetry, or politics, it comes to News being the saluting word with
much the same thing. If they talk to almost every description of the comdari you of the town, its diversions," its munity, and it being the peculiat pro«.
vince of your Melange to announce from whence I can scarcely point out the literary news of the day, I shall a more picturesque scene; on the left take the líberty Sir to hand you a to the north are the stupendous mounpaper now and then for a short time, tains of the highlands, in particular the under the appellation of the Traveller, gigantic peak of Benlomond and the which though neither consisting of the town of Dumbarton, the latter of fashions of the politics of the times, which, you completely o'ertop and and though (as the title implies) these it appears well on the fore-ground. shall chiefly consist of descriptive re- To view a different part of the marks on our own country, i. e. on panorama, namely to look up the certain cities, towns, &c. in Great Bri- river, which is here of considerable tain, taken at the close of the year breadth, the scene equally pleased tne, 1817, though never yet made public, I could discover Renfrew, Paisley, and possibly may not seem news to &c. a little more to the right, and on any one, nevertheless I should he hap- turning round the scenery behind py to think I could form a short se- equally gratified my curiosity. On Ties of interesting remarks worthy a the top of this fortress I was shewn a place in your publication if from my large round cairn of stones which the common-place book and memory to- soldier told me Sir William Wallace gether I could be accurate in my de- reared that he might from thence view scriptions.
the country, from this we came down From this short apologetical pre- to the guard-house, where I was preamble Sir, you will perceive (as will sented with a monstrous tall sword your readers) that nothing great may that I was told had been wielded by be expected in this attempt, and that Wallace. I will think myself sufficiently reward- On turning from these sea ports to ed if these be found worthy of a pe- Paisley, I fancied it but dull and heartfusal and can give any amusement, less and like to a Sunday, the people krówledge or profit to the reader. walking as saints (so great is the spirit
I shall tives of the journey that led me to comparison to the two former of them, make these notes, but shall merely though of much greater extent, its state that it was more for pleasure than abbey, however, is certainly worthy of profit, ergo the pleasure is the profit the historian or antiquary, (and now thereof.
there is an elegant County Jail, 31 Being much pleased on the visit- House of Correction, Barracks for ing of Port-Glasgow and Greenock foot soldiers, &c. erected here) here (the summer season being far advanc- also, in almost every street, we have ed) the noise of the carpenters ham- the noisy shuttle heard at every other mers, " the stupendous skeletons of door and window instead of the carvessels, and the bustling manner of peuters tools, and which gave me sinthese towns, gave me indeed a far gular gratification. nobler opinion of them than I had Kilmarnock too, a large and popupreviously supposed, and produced a lous town and (like irvine which has relish for visiting other scenes. Dum- a fine harbour) is much handsomer barton also, that considerable borough than I had any idea of, all of which i rown. After having ferried from the sights, as you may perceive, paved the
opposite shore I was shewn to the top way, and was but a prelude to more • of the Castle hy one of the 20th Regt. I extensive ones.
From this short introductory sketch | every reader within hearing. Of the WhistSir, you will see my manner is not to lers there are frequently more than one, and dwell long in one place, and to give Whistler the first (whom I shall call A)
in that case the process is as follows : but a bird's eye view of the scenes as commences a tune : Whistler the second it were, though perhaps too brief an (B) takes it up about the third or fourth account of the subject in hand—your bar, and accompanies him to the end of the readers however may think the account stave, by which time A has exhausted his of such common topics but too long, the meantime B continues, and just as you
wind, and stopt to replenish his lungs. In and perhaps you may thing it long are flattering yourself with a hope that he enough for your paper when you have also will be soon winded, and allow you to more important matter. In my next pursue your employments, a third Whistler you will find me in Glasgow,
(C) at the other end of the table, unexpect
edly opens his pipes, and takes a spell' at I am Sir,
the bellows; soon after which A once more Yours respectfully, joins the concert with renewed vigour, THE TRAVELLER. and so on ad libitum.
Second are the Hummers, who are closely allied to the first class, and are distinguished by employing the greater part
of the day in humming songs, which they NORTH GEORGIA GAZETTE.
usually do out of tune, and always out of
time. They are in general more senti. To the EDITOR of the Winter Chronicle. mental than the Whistlers in their selection
of tunes, confining themselves to the Irish SIR,
melodies, or some plaintive Scotch ditty. I do not know whether you take cogni. Of these they will hum you a detached zance of such matters as I am now to ad- bar or two occasionally, in the most padress you upon; but if you do, I hope thetic strain imaginable, and are particularly you will endeavour to remedy the grievance fond of filling up in this manner all the I complain of. However improbable it little intervals of time, which are not easily may seem to you in these times of somnol- disposed of in any other way, such as ency I like to read for an hour or two, now while the ink is drying on one side of and then, and even to write a little occa- the paper, or while they are mending their sionally beyond the daily repetition of pens, or warming their fingers : perhaps, “ moderate breezes and cloudy,” and the Mr. Editor, you can recommend some mode formal assertion that we have been “em- of proceeding, by which it shall necessarily ployed as necessary.”
fall our that all our pens want mending, Under these circumstances, added to the and all our fingers warming, exactly at the great scarcity of light in our own cabins at same instant. We could then all have our this season, you will, I am certain, enter hum at the same time, and no disturbance into my feelings of annoyance, at the innu- would result, as at present, to any indimerable disturbances to which our tables vidual of the party. are subject; I allude to the habits which The third class are the Drummers, who, some members of our community have ac- to borrow a well-known joke from Joc quired in earlier life, and which they con- Miller, were certainly born to make a great tinue to practise daily, to the interruption noise in the world. They have, like the of the more industrious, and to the absolute Whistlers, a tolerable car for music, and preclusion of all serious occupation. I have occupy a great deal of their time in drumendeavoured to class these annoyances, or ming most musically with both hands upon rather those who practise them, under sepa- the table; they usually join the Whistlers, rate heads, of which the first are the to whom they may, indeed, be considered Whistlers, who, having a tolerable ear them as an accompaniment. They have been selves, seem to forget that the rest of us lately practising a new mode of drumming have any ears at all, and are contiually which is performed by placing the wrist serenading us with “ Molly, put the Kettle upon the table, and then bringing the nails on," or the “ Duke of York's March," of each finger, beginning with the little one with variations, to the utter discomfiturc of l in quick succession, one after the other,
upon the wood, or what is considered more their own noses, without anneying their sonorous and musical, upon a hard-cover- neighbour's ears. Having already exceeded ed book, which they keep by them shut for the limits of a letter, I am under the nethe purpose. I beg leave strongly to recom- cessity of concluding, without having half mend ilus mode, as infinitely more neat finished my list, and shall, perhaps, tiesume and gentleman-like than the other, which the subject år some future time, should see consists in merely thumping the table, un- occasion to do so. In tbe meanwliile: I mercifully with both hands, like a common remair. Mr. Editor, drummer, and making the candlesticks and Your obedient Servant, ink-stands dance a hornpipe. Perhaps
z. these first three classes might be employed with advantage for a couple of bours daily iu whistling, humming, and drumming to
REVIEW the ship's companies, when they take excrcise: and a convenient spot for practising their arts might be selected in the neigh- Napoleon in Exile ; or, a Vorom bourhood of the boat-house, or the green
St. Helent. The puntate and ravine.
Fourth in order are the Bangers, who Reflections of Nepotent, or the never bring a book or a desk, or any thing mostainportant events of his life else to the table, without banging it down and Government, in his own Tords. with all their might and main, to the sad
By Barry E. O'MERA; $q. derangement of all weak nerves, and the production of many an unintentional pot
his date Surgeon. 2 vols hook in their neighbour's writing. This practice would seem intended to announce peared m the present day, perhaps not
Amēng the books which hay capthe arrival of the said Bangers, as if they had ex claimed, “ Behold, I say? I am ac- one is more catculated to exclus contually going to write !" Such an event trary opinions than thar now before which, it must be confessed, is singular us. No individual has more diled enough in itself, and of vital importance to the opinions of society, than the subwith ful as much effect, and with much ject of it:
to none has móre Lavish less disturbance to others, by all the Bangers praise, or more vehement censurd been being furnished with a conical cấp and bells
, applied ; the strongest prejudices and such as is described to have been worn by partialities of which our nature is caCounsellor Puzzlewell on a certain occasion; pable, have-beerarrayed to and the jingle of the bells would give ample against hisn. National feelings, and table many a lusty thump which even the those of patty, have_alike been agitated strongest of them cannot stand without on his account. He, on aim the shaking.
fate of so many empires dans now The fifth class consists of the Blowers, sleeps under the boughs of a willow, so called from the frequency with which they blow their noses, when nature requires in a lone island of the Atlantic esan. no such operation. By constant practice. But if the storm-on which he Zade, they have attained such perfection in that seems to have subsided-for-e time, noisy art, that it is now really a public there are those who at least inimäginuisance. It resembles the sound of a fer, nation, hear the wings of the tempest being repeated at regular and mechanical sounding fearfully at no remate disintervals, completely
distracts your atten- tance; and the faces of men, sauming tion. There is a custom on board some to the horizon of every side with anof our ships, of sending huglemen to prac-xiety, gather an expression of arcând tise at the bowsprit-end, that they may not apprehension. The elements of strife would be an eligible one for these unnatural are yet afloat—principles of incàlenaand preposterous nose-blowers, who might ble power have been called into artim, there be indulged in their propensity to pull which, though apparently for Ta tiine