dignified his plantation with the name of the ancient dominion. Beside this mark of respect, and in token of his high esteem of him as a customer, as well as for certain other reasons, he made it a practice, every year, to present him with a waggon-load of Ordure, the sweepings of his back-yard, the scrapings of his dog-kennel, and contents of his own water-closet. This was a mark of politeness which John valued himself much upon. "It may seem odd," said he one day to a a friend, "that I make such a kind of compliment as this to my good customer; but if you consider it aright, you will find it a piece of refined policy; for by this means I get rid of a deal of trash and rubbish that is necessarily made in such a family as mine; I get a cursed stink removed from under my nose, and my good friend has the advantage of it upon his farm, to manure his grounds, and make them produce more plentifully that precious weed in which we all so much delight." Walter was often seen, on the arrival of Bull's waggon, to clap his handkerchief to his nose; but as he knew his old master was an odd sort of a fellow, and it was his interest to keep in with him, he generally turned off the compliment with a laugh, saying, good-naturedly enough, "Let him laugh that wins," without explaining his meaning, though it might admit of a double entendre; then calling some of his servants, he ordered them to shovel out the dung, and make his black cattle mix theirs with it. When spread over the land, the air took out most of the scent, and the salts were of some advantage to the soil. told what advantages might be gained by settling | had courage to make a settlement in his forest, he there, and promised, if he should succeed, to turn all his trade into his master's hand, and give him the refusal of whatever he might bring to market, and withal shewed him some drafts, which he had made with chalk, from the reports of the huntsmen, that Bull began to think of the matter in good earnest, and consulted his lawyer upon the subject, who, after due consideration of the premises, and stroking his band, advised him as follows-"Why yes, Mr. Bull, I don't see why you ought not to look about you as well as your neighbors. You know that old Lord Peter* lays claim to the whole country, and has assumed to parcel it out among his devotees. He has given all the western part of it, where this forest lies, to Lord Strut, and he has a large manor adjoining to your forest, which, they say, yields him a fine rent, and who knows but this may bring you in as much or more? Then there is Lewis, the cudgel player, and Nicholas Frog, the draper, who have perhaps (I say perhaps, Mr. Bull, because there may be a little doubt on both sides, and in that case, you know, sir, it would not become gentlemen of our cloth to speak positively), as good a claim as your Honor to this land; but then it is a maxim, you know, that possession is eleven points of the law, and if you once get your foot upon it, they cannot oust you without a process; and your Honor knows that your purse is as long as theirs, and you are as able to stand a suit with them as they are with you. I therefore advise you to humor your man Walter, and give him a lease, and a pretty large one-you may find more advantages in it than you are aware of-but lease it, lease it at any rate." Upon this he was ordered to make out a lease; and Walter being thus invested with as good authority as could be obtained, filled his pockets with bread and cheese, took his gun, powder-flask, and shot of various kinds, with a parcel of fishing lines and hooks, his surveying instruments, and a bag of corn on his shoulders, and off he trotted to his new paradise. It was some time before he could fix upon a spot to his liking, and he at first met with some opposition from the bears and wolves, and was greatly exposed to the weather, before he could build him a hut; once or twice the savage animals had almost devoured him, but being made of good stuff, he stood his ground, cleared a little spot, put his seed into the earth, and lived as well as such adventurers can expect, poorly enough at first, but supported, as all new planters are, by the hope of better times. After a while he began to thrive, and his master, Bull, recommended a wife, whom he married, and by whom he had a number of children. Having found a new sort of grain in the forest, and a certain plant of a narcotic quality, he cultivated both, and having procured a number of black cattle, he went on pretty gaily in the planting way, and brought his narcotic weed into great repute, by sending a present of a quantity of it to his old master, who grew excessively fond of it, and kept calling for more, till he got the whole trade of it into his own hands, and sold it out of his own warehouse to Lewis, Frog, and all the other tradesmen around him. In return, he supplied Walter with cloths and stuffs for his family, and utensils for his husbandry; and as a reward for being the first, who After Walter Pipeweed had got his affairs into tolerable order, he was visited in his retirement by Cecilius Peterson, another of Bull's apprentices, who had taken a fancy to the same kind of life, from a disgust of some things that had happened in the family. He had not been long with Walter before he found it would not do for him to remain there. Peterson was supposed to be a natural son of old Lord Peter, after whom he was nick-named. He had the same affected airs, and a tincture of the high-flying notions of his reputed father. These made him rather disgustful to Walter, who had learned his manners of Mr. Bull's mother, when she was in her sober senses, and between her and Lord Peter there had been a long variance. When Peterson perceived that his company was not desired, he had so much good sense as to leave Walter's plantation, and, paddling across a creek, scated himself on a point of land that ran out into the lake. Of this he obtained a lease of his old master, and went to work in the same manner as Walter had done, who, liking his company best at a distance, was willing to supply him with bread and meat till he could scramble for himself. Here he took to husbandry, raising corn and the narcotic weed, and buying up black cattle, and after a while turned his produce into his old master's warehouse, and received from him the annual compliment of a waggon-load of dung, excepting that when there had not been so much as usual made, he and Walter were to share a load between them. To ingratiate himself still farther with his old master, he accepted of a girl out of his family for a Convicts. + Lord Baltimore, who first settled Maryland, was a Papist; his successors abjured Popery, and conformed to the Church of England. wife (for John was always fond of his tenants marrying for fear of their doing worse), he took as little notice as possible of his reputed father, and dropping or disowning his nickname of Peterson, he assumed that of Marygold,* which old Madam Bull understood as a compliment to one of her daughters. He also made his court to the old lady by kneeling down and kissing the golden fringe of her embroidered petticoat, as was the fashion of that day. This ceremony, though a trifle in itself, helped much to recommend him to Mr. Bull, who was a very dutiful son, and took his mother's advice in most parts of his business. In short, Cecilius was too much of a politician to suppose that filial affection ought to stand in the way of a man's interest, and in this he judged as many other men would have done in the same circumstances. About the time in which these first attempts were making, and the fame of them had raised much jealousy among some, and much expectation among others, there happened a sad quarrel in John Bull's family. His mother, poor woman, had been seized with hysteric fits, which caused her at times to be delirious and full of all sorts of whims. She had taken it into her head that every one of the family must hold knife and fork and spoon exactly alike; that they must all wash their hands and face precisely in the same manner; that they must sit, stand, walk, kneel, bow, spit, blow their noses, and perform every other animal function by the exact rule of uniformity, which she had drawn up with her own hand, and from which they were not allowed to vary one hair's breadth. If any one of the family complained of a lame ankle or stiff knee, or had the crick in his neck, or happened to cut his finger, or was any other way so disabled as not to perform his duty to a tittle, she was so far from making the least allowance, that she would frown, and scold, and rave like a bedlamite; and John was such an obedient son to his mother, that he would lend her his hand to box their ears, or his foot to kick their backsides, for not complying with her humors. This way of proceeding raised an uproar in the family; for though most of them complied, either through affection for the old lady, or through fear, or some other motive, yet others looked sour and grumbled; some would openly find fault and attempt to remonstrate, but they were answered with a kick or a thump, or a cat-o'nine-tails, or shut up in a dark garret till they promised a compliance. Such was the logic of the family in those days! Among the number of the disaffected, was Peregrine Pickle, a pretty clever sort of a fellow about his business, but a great lover of sourcrout, and of a humor that would not bear contradiction. However, as he knew it would be fruitless to enter into a downright quarrel, and yet could not live there in peace; he had so much prudence as to quit the house, which he did by getting out of the window in the night. Not liking to be out of employment, he went to the house of Nicholas Frog, his master's old friend and rival, told him the story of his sufferings, and got leave to employ himself in one of his workshops till the storm should be over. After he had been here a while, he thought Nick's family were as much too loose in their manners as Bull's were too strict; and having heard a rumor of the Forest, to which Nick had some kind of claim, he packed up his little all, and hired one of Nick's servants, who had been there a hunting, to pilot him to that part of the Forest to which Nick laid claim. But Frog had laid an anchor to windward of him; for as Pickle had said nothing to him about a lease, he supposed that when Peregrine had got into the Forest, he would take a lease of his old master, Bull, which would strengthen his title, and weaken his own; he therefore bribed the pilot to show Peregrine to a barren part of the Forest, instead of that fertile place to which he had already sent his surveyors, and of which he was contriving to get possession. Accordingly, the Pilot having conducted Pickle to a sandy point which runs into the lake, it being the dusk of the evening, bade him good night, and walked off. Peregrine, who was fatigued with his march, laid down and went to sleep, but waking in the morning, saw himself alone in a very dreary situation, where he could get nothing to live upon but clams, and a few acorns which the squirrels had left. In this piteous plight, the poor fellow folded his arms, and walking along the sandy beach, fell into such a soliloquy as this: "So much for travelling! Abused by Bull, cheated by Frog, what am I at last come to? Here I am alone, no creature but bears, and wolves, and such vermin around me! Nothing in the shape of a human being that I know of, nearer than Pipeweed's plantation, and with him I cannot agree; he is so devoted to old Dame Bull, that he and I cannot live together any more than I could with the old woman. But why should I despair? That is unmanly; there is at least a possibility of my living here, and if I am disappointed in my worldly prospects, it is but right, for I professed not to have any. My wish was to have my own way without disturbance or contradiction, and surely I can here enjoy my liberty. I have nobody here to curse me, or kick me, or cheat me. If I have only clams to eat, I can cook them my own way, and say as long a grace over them as I please. I can sit, or stand, or kneel, or use any other posture at my devotions, without any cross old woman to growl at me, or any hectoring bully to cuff me for it. So that if I have lost in one way I have gained in another. I had better, therefore, reconcile myself to my situation, and make the best of a bad market. But company is good! Apropos! I will write to some of my fellow-apprentices; I know they were as discontented as myself in old Bull's family, though they did not care to speak their minds as plainly as I did. I'll tell them how much happiness I enjoy here in my solitude. I'll point out to them the charms of liberty, and coax them to follow me into the wilderness; and by and by, when we get all together, we shall make a brave hand of it." Full of this resolution, he sat down on a wind-fallen tree, and pulling out his inkhorn and paper, wrote a letter to John Codline, Humphrey Ploughshare, and Roger Carrier, three of his fellow-apprentices, informing them of the extreme happiness he enjoyed in having liberty to eat his scanty meals in his own way, and to lay his swelled ankles and stiff knee in whatever posture was most easy to him; conjuring them, by their former friendship, to come to join him in carrying on the good work so happily begun, etc. etc. As soon as he had finished the letter (which had deeply engaged his attention), a huntsman happened to come along in quest of game.. This was a lucky circumstance indeed, for Peregrine had not once thought of a conveyance for his letter; it proved also favorable to him in another view, for the huntsman taking pity on his forlorn situation, spared him some powder and shot, and a few biscuit which he happened to have in his pocket; so, taking charge of the letter, he delivered it as it was directed. This letter arrived in good season, for old Madam had grown much worse since Pickle had left the family her vapors had increased, and her longings and aversions were much stronger. She had a strange lurch for embroidered petticoats and high waving plumes; her Christmas pies must have double the quantity of spice that was usual; the servants must make three bows where they formerly made but one, and they must never come into her presence without having curled and powdered their hair in the pink of the mode, for she had an aversion to every thing plain, and a strong relish for every thing gaudy. Besides, she had an high-mettled chaplain who was constantly at her elbow, and said prayers night and morning in a brocaded cope with a gilded mitre on his head; and he exacted so many bows and scrapes of every one in the family, that it would have puzzled a French dancingmaster to have kept pace with him. Nor would he perform the service at all, unless a verger stood by him all the while with a yard-wand in his hand; and if any servant or apprentice missed one bow or scrape, or made it at the wrong time, or dared to look off his book, or said Amen in the wrong place, rap went the stick over his head and ears and knuckles. It was in vain to appeal from the chaplain or the old dame to their master, for he was so obedient a son that he suffered them to govern him as they pleased; nay, though broad hints were As soon as the letter of Peregrine Pickle arrived, the apprentices, to whom it was directed, held a consultation what they should do. They were heartily tired of the conduct of the chaplain; they lamented the old lady's ill health, and wished for a cure; but there was at present no hope of it, and they concluded that it was best to follow Pickle's advice, and retire with him into the Forest. Though they were infected with the spirit of adventure, yet they were a set of wary fellows, and knew they could not with safety venture thither unless they had a lease of the land. Happily, however, for them, Bull had a little while before that put the affairs of the Forest into the hands of a gentleman of the law, with orders to see that the matter was properly managed, so as to yield him some certain profit. To this sage they applied, and for the proper fees, which they clubbed for between them, they obtained a lease, under hand and seal; wherein, for "sundry causes him thereunto moving, the said Bull did grant and convey unto John Codline and his associates, so many acres of his Forest, bounded so and so, and which they were to have, hold, and enjoy for ever and ever, yielding and paying so and so, and so forth." When this grand point was gained by the assistance of the lawyer and his clerks, who knew how to manage business, the adventurers sold all their superfluities to the pawnbrokers, and got together what things they supposed they should want, and leaving behind them a note on the compter, to tell their master where they were bound, and what were their designs; they set off all together and got safe into a part of the Forest adjoining to Pickle, who, hearing of their arrival, took his oaken staff in his hand, and hobbled along as fast as his lame legs could carry him to see them, and a joyful meeting indeed they had. given that the chaplain was an emissary of Lord | Having laid their heads together, it was agreed the Peter, and was taking advantage of the old lady's Codline should send for a girl whom he ahysterics to bring the whole family into his interest, John gave no heed to any of these insinuations. *Archbishop Laud. *The Council of Plymouth in Devonshire. + Letter written on board the Arabella, after th tion of the Massachusetts settlers. the courted,* and marry her and that he should be considered as the lord of the manor, that Pickle should have a lease of that part which he had pitched upon, and that Ploughshare and Carrier should for the present be considered as members of Codline's family. John had taken a great fancy to fishing, and thought he could wholly or chiefly subsist by it; but Humphrey had a mind for a farm; so after a while they parted in friendship. Humphrey, with a pack on his back and a spade in his hand, travelled across the Forest till he found a wide meadow, with a large brook running through it, which he supposed to be within John's grant, and intended still to consider himself as a distant member of the family. But as it fell out otherwise, he was obliged to get a new lease, to which Mr. Frog made some objections, but they were over-ruled; and soon after another old fellow-servant, Theophilus Wheatear, came and sat down by him. They being so much alike in their views and dispositions, agreed to live together as intimates, though in two families, which they did till Wheatear's death, when Ploughshare became his sole heir, and the estate has ever since been his. This Humphrey was always a very industrious, frugal, saving husband; and his wife, though a formal, strait-laced sort of a body, yet always minded her spinning and knitting, and took excellent care of her dairy. She always clothed her children in homespun garments, and scarcely ever spent a farthing for outlandish trinkets. The family and all its concerns were under very exact regulations: not one of them was suffered to peep out of doors after the sun was set. It was never allowed to brew on Saturday, lest the beer should break the fourth commandment by working on Sunday; and once, it is said, the stallion was impounded a whole week for holding crim. con. with the mare while the old gentleman was at his devotions. Bating these peculiarities (and every body has some) Humphrey was a very good sort of a man, a kind neighbour, very thriving, and made a respectable figure. Though he lived a retired life, and did not much follow the fashions, yet he raised a good estate and brought up a large family. His children and grandchildren have penetrated the interior parts of the country, and seated themselves on the best soil, which they know how to distinguish at first sight, and to cultivate to the greatest advantage. Whereever you find them, you find good husbandmen. rhymes together. The example of domestic virtues has CHAMBERRY, SAVOY, January, 1798. The Hasty Pudding. A SIMPLICITY in diet, whether it be considered with reference to the happiness of individuals or the prosperity of a nation, is of more consequence than we are apt to imagine. In recommending so important an object to the rational part of mankind, I wish it were in my power to do it in such a manner as would be likely to gain their attention. I am sensible that it is one of those subjects in which example has infinitely more power than the most convincing arguments or the highest charms of poetry. Goldsmith's "Deserted Village," though possessing these two advantages in a greater degree than any other work of the kind, has not pre-YE Alps audacious, through the heavens that rise, vented villages in England from being deserted. The apparent interest of the rich individuals, who form the taste as well as the laws in that country, has been against him; and with that interest it has been vain to contend. The vicious habits which, in this little piece, I endeavor to combat, seem to me not so difficult to cure. No class of people has any interest in supporting them, unless it be the interest which certain families may feel in vying with each few other in sumptuous entertainments. There may, indeed, be some instances of depraved appetites which no arguments will conquer; but these must be rare. There are very persons but what would always prefer a plain dish for themselves, and would prefer it, likewise, for their guests, if there were no risk of reputation in the case. This difficulty can only be removed by example; and the example should proceed from those whose situation enables them to take the lead in forming the manners of a nation. Persons of this description in America, I should hope, are neither above nor below the influence of truth and reason, when conveyed in language suited to the subject. CANTO I. To cramp the day and hide me from the skies; Whether the manner I have chosen to address my argu-Oh! could the smooth, the emblematic song The Massachusetts charter. + Connecticut River. Flow like thy genial juices o'er my tongue, Through the rough sieve to shake the golden shower, I here ascribe her one great virtue more. Dear Hasty Pudding, what unpromised joy, Each clime my country, and each house my home, London is lost in smoke and steep'd in tea; But here, though distant from our native shore, But man, more fickle, the bold license claims, There are who strive to stamp with disrepute My song, resounding in its grateful glee, Let the green succotash with thee contend |