partly perishedCommerce abroad is now forcing new chavnels of conveyance ; and were the embargo raised to-morrow, our precaution would have ruined the merchant by unequal and unjust pressure ; and he would never again be placed upon the advantageous ground on which he stood before the embargo was established, in consequence of the substitution of other carriers.

The argument of precaution now is surely at an end, as applied to seamen, ships and merchandize. If merchatits are willing to risk their property abroad under all the present restrictions of France and Eng. land; if there is a general spirit of disaffection in the commercial states, and if there are constant evasions of the laws, it is vain to per sist in the measure on that ground. Experience is daily attesting the fallacy of the principle. * The idea of presenting such appeals to the interests of the belligerent powers, as to induce them to alter their decrees and orders, which makes the second branch of Mr. Giles' defence, is perfectly absurd, on two grounds. First, because the measure was impotent as it respects our foreign relations, and because there are some inducements for believing the British government are favourable to its continuance'; and second, because had it been evidently effective, the British nation would sus. tain a very pressing emergence before she would grant the high-hand. ed principles of commerce for which our administration are contending.

It may be also mentioned that the unaccommodating temper' which the President and Mr. Madison have indicated towards Great-Britain, and their acquiescing deportment towards France, were too evident to the British ministry to induce a relaxation of a system, which, whatever might be its effects on that nation, certainly was more materially injurious to the citizens of the United States.

(To be continued.)


Few complaints have been more frequently preferred and in every instance have been so well maintained, as that, which charges the present theatrical taste, with nonsensical and affected sentiment, hardstrained wit and frivolous repartee. The scene painter, and not the poet, seems to be the object of the greatest attention ; and wild beasts, demons and angels the chief personages, to exhibit whom, the pageantry of the stage is contrived. To effect this desirable end, real dogs have been taught to plunge into real water before the audience ; wildmen, wood-demons, spectres, caravans, sorcerers, giants, oracles, green, black, red and blue fiends, are put in requisition from known and unknown worlds ; the scene painter and tailor are taught to manufacture them in legions, and they are then produced to frighten the young, and delight the full-grown children, who compose the audience. “ How natural,” exclaims a lady,“ is that hell represented ; and then " that fiery fiend! the painter must surely have been familiar with such sights, or he never could have drawn them so truly."

We really are unacquainted with any subject which requires more decisive exposure, than this tendency to applaud the marvellous and corrupt taste, by which modern authors are directed. The following parody of “ Collins's Ode on the Passions," has the exposure of this perverted taste in view. The style is not very successfully laboured, nor is the parody remarkably close ; yet the thoughts are some of them eminently happy, and others singularly humorous ; but it is mainly to be commended for its beneficial tendency. We offer no other apology for introducing it than this, that the same taste which it is intended to expose has already spread very widely in America, and threatens to eradicate every principle of legitimate comedy which has ever been implanted in the country. A COMEDY IN THE CAGE.


“ Ordine nullo
Oscula dispensat natos 'suprema per omnes.”

When Comedy, poor dame was old,
A vagrant strumpet and a scold,
The beadle forc'd her to remain
In a tall cage near Drury-lane :
Her children all, with different faces,
Sprang from promiscuous embraces,
With bawling, ballad-singing yell,
Crowded around her vaulted cell :
Till once, 'tis said, in riot frisky,
High prim'd with true Hibernian whiskey,
The motley Savoyarding band
In the piazza took their stand :
And as they oft had tried apart
The mumming masquerading art
Each, to please the gaping crowd,

Rehears'd his separate part alo u
First Snip snap aim'd her skill to trý,

(A spurious branch of repartee)
And giggling laugh'd she knew not why,

E'en at her own affected glee.
Next enter'd puzzle-headed plot,

His limbs a fowler's net surrounded ;

Striving to tear each stubborn knot,

He left “ confusion worse confounded!”
Then Bathos pour'd from brazen throat,

Ideas poor, in language rich;
Still striving to o’erleap the moạt,

But falling headlong in the ditch.
But thou, Stage Loyalty, all boast and brag,

What was thy sublime oration ?

Where'er the scene, or false or true,

Whether in China or Peru,
Still, still it prais'd the English nation,

And to Britannia bade the world submit;
Still would the patriot strain prolong,

And from the gallery, box and pit
Call bowing Encore, to repeat the song ;

And whilst in his own praise he spoke

Encore stood by and bawi'd out “ hearts of Oak ;" Whilst Loyalty huzza'd and wav'd the British flag :

And longer had he wavid-but cleft in two ':

Arch-rainbow Scenery arose,
His trembling lips the magick whistle blew,

And straight appear'd the craggy rocks,
High mountains, drawing-rooms and flocks,
Prisons to guard a truant daughter,
And cataracts of real water ;
And dapper trees in new green clothes,
All nodding “ How d’ye do,” in rows ;
And though sometimes, each loud applause between,
Rejected Costume at his side,
“ All this is mighty pretty,” cried ;
“ But tell me, gaudy painter, what
“ It has to do with me or Plot ?"
Still Scenery lengthen'd out his tether,
And Europe, Asia, Afric, danc'd a jig together,

Thy gambols, Farce, now high, now low,

Were nought but war-whoop, stride and grin ; 'Twas now philanthropy in Merchants' Row,

And now a booted harlequin.

With eyes upturn'd and hose unmended,
Pale Sentiment a tub ascended,
And from her methodistick throne,
In piteous lamentable tone,

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Pour'd in Soliloquy the doleful note,

While caught from box to box around,

Dulness bore the soothing sound,
Soft o'er the pit the drowsy murmur's float
And round the gall’ries flit in fond delay;

Till tir'd with clapping and encoring,

All gently nodding, dozing, snoring,

In sleep the audience died away.
But O how alter'd was the wondering stare,

When mad Buffoonery, leaping forth to view,
A fools-cap jingling on his crown,

One stocking red, the other blue,
Cried “ dam'me, that's your sort,” and knock'd old Squaretoes

down ;

Then strew'd the earth with broken crockery ware.

The heroes of the upper gallery go
In gathering crowds to see the show,
Creeping from forth their alleys low;
Exulting Folly join'd the yell,
And Bedlam shook his chains through every cell.

Last came Pun, as Janus sturdy,
He in zig-zag motion prancing ;
To the jews-harp his teeth address'd ;

But soon he spied the hurdy-gurdy,
Whose buzz ambiguous pleas’d his ear the best.

They would have thought who heard him gabble
His Babel jargon to the rabble,
They saw in village pool a goose,

Her red beak split, her pinions loose,
To her own hisses madly dancing.
Whilst as conundrums round he flung,

Pun join'd with Folly in an Irish reel;
Naked her body was, and light her hecl,
And he, sworn foe to melancholy,

Scorning to be outdone by Folly,
Shook nameless nothings from his quiy'ring tongue.

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O Comedy, thou fallen fair!
Friend to pleasure, foe to care,
Now common grown to half the town-
Where is thy former fair renown?
Whene'er stage history records

The memory of thy wedded lords,
Vol. 1. D

Dost thou no fond remembrance feel
For Congreve, Coleman, Cibber, Steele?
Hadst thou resery'd for such a race
Thy matrimonial, chaste embrace,
Thy womb had ne'er produc'd to view
This spurious raggamuffin crew.
Tis said, and I believe the tale,
Thy lash of old could more avail,
Wrought more amendment from the stage,
Than all that charms this senseless age.
For shame! give o'er this vagrant life,
Become once more a wedded wife;
Or turn to fasting, prayers, and Lent,
And in thy widowhood repent.


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It is the avowed intention of the Editors of the ORDEAL to expose all systems which they think repugnant to true religion ; the interests of which it is their determination to maintain. To effect which great national object they are ready to fight it to the last. Satire is now-adays, and to certain people, no longer a mirrour from which they may see the reflexion of their own faces; but a pane of window-glass, in which they can discover any other image than their own. It may be necessary to observe, that the communication which follows has a local application; let those who are concerned have wit enough to find it

Our correspondent too, is one who is no flincher, “he'll not budge an inch from the encounter.'

If any person offended with his remarks is inclined to oppose them, the pages of the ORDEAL, are open to his communications, whether they are keen or blunt, whether the arguments knock down like a sledge-hammer, or cut like a razor :

Lay on Macduff,
And sham'd be he that first cries hold, enough.

I have lately met with the following Proclamation, and as I wish to communicate some information on the subject to which it refers, I have subjoined a few observations, which I hope will meet the attention, which I think they deserve.

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Counter PROCLAMATION. 6. RATIONAL RELIGION, having been reposing at ease for many years on the bosom of her children, now informs her offspring, that she

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