MISADVENTURES AT MARGATE. "Cheer up! cheer up! my little man-cheer up!" I kindly said; "Come home with me, my little man-come home with me and sup; I took him home to number two,—with charitable joy— But Mrs. Jones was rather cross, she made a little noise; I did not go to Jericho-I went to Mr. Cobb I changed a shilling (which in town the people call a "bob "); When I came back, I gazed about—I gazed on stool and chair— I said, "You little vulgar boy! why, what's become of you?" I could not see my table-spoons :-I looked, but couldn't see I couldn't see my sugar-tongs-my silver watch-oh dear! I know 't was on the mantelpiece when I went out for beer. I couldn't see my Mackintosh !—it was not to be seen! Nor yet my best white beaver hat,-broad-brimmed, and lined with green; My carpet-bag-my cruet-stand,-that holds my sauce and soy My roast potatoes! all are gone!-and so 's that vulgar boy! I rang the bell for Mrs. Jones, for she was down below;— "Oh, Mrs. Jones! what do you think? ain't this a pretty go?— That horrid little vulgar boy, whom I brought here to-night, He's stolen my things and run away."-Says she, "And sarve you right!" Next morning I was up betimes-I sent the crier round, I told my tale-he seemed to think I'd not been treated well; A son-of something-'t was a name I never heard before A little "gallows-looking chap,"-dear me, what could he mean? With 66 a carpet-swab," and "mucking togs," and a hat turned up with green. He spoke about his "precious eyes," and said he'd seen him "sheer,"- A landsman said, "I twig the chap,-he's been upon the 'mill,' I went and told the constable my property to track; I answered, "To be sure I do!-it's what I came about ;" He smiled and said, "Sir, does your mother know that you are out?" Not knowing what to do, I thought I'd hasten back to town, And beg our own Lord Mayor to catch the boy who'd "done me brown." His Lordship very kindly said he'd try to find him out, But he "rather thought that there were several vulgar boys about." He sent for the Inspector then, and I described the "swag,"- REMEMBER, then, what (when a boy) I've heard my grandma' tell, Don't take too much of double X! and don't at night go out -BARHAM. THE CORONATION OF QUEEN VICTORIA. ОCH! the Coronation! what celebration For emulation can with it compare? Making a skrimmage at half after four, Their pillows scorning, that self-same morning With General Dullbeak-Och! 't was mighty fine With his sword drawn, prancing, made them keep the line. Then the Guns' alarums, and the King at Arums All jools from his jasey to his di'mond boots, And Wellington, walking with his sword drawn, talking To Hill and Hardinge, haroes of great fame: And Sir De Lacy, and the Duke Dalmasey (They called him Sowlt afore he changed his name), Themselves presading Lord Melbourne, lading The Queen, the darling, to her royal chair, And that fine ould fellow, the Duke of Pell-Mello, THE JACKDAW OF RHEIMS. Then the Noble Prussians, likewise the Russians, There was Baron Alten himself exalting, And Prince Von Schwartzenberg, and many more; Och! I'd be bothered and entirely smothered To tell the half of 'em was to the fore; With the swate Peeresses, in their crowns and dresses, And Aldermanesses, and the Board of Works; But Mehemet Ali said, quite gintaly, "I'd be proud to see the likes among the Turks!" Then the Queen, heaven bless her! och! they did dress her In her purple garaments and her goulden Crown; Like Venus or Hebe, or the Queen of Sheby, With eight young ladies houlding up her gown, Sure 't was grand to see her, also for to he-ar The big drums bating, and the trumpets blow. And Sir George Smart! O! he play'd a Consarto, With his four-and-twenty fiddlers all in a row! Then the Lord Archbishop held a goulden dish up, Boys! Here's your Queen! deny it if you can! And if any bould traitour, or infarior craythur, Sneezes at that, I'd like to see the man!" Then the Nobles kneeling to the Powers appealing, Then there was preaching, and good store of speeching, Then the trumpets braying, and the organ playing, Then the crames and custard, and the beef and mustard, All on the tombstones like a poultherer's shop; With lobsters and whitebait, and other sweetmeat, And wine and nagus, and Imparial Pop! There were cakes and apples in all the chapels, With fine polonies, and rich mellow pearsOch! the Count Von Strogonoff, sure he got prog enough, The sly old villain, underneath the stairs. Then the cannons thundered, and the people wondered, Crying, "Long live Victoria, our Royal Queen!" Och if myself should live to be a hundred, Sure it's the proudest day that I'll have seen! And now I've ended, what I pretended, This narration splendid, in swate poe-thry; THE JACKDAW OF RHEIMS. "Tunc miser Corvus adeo conscientiæ stimulis compunctus fuit, et execratio eum tantopere excarneficavit, ut exinde tabescere inciperet, maciem contraheret, omnem cibum aversaretur, nec ampliùs crocitaret: pennæ præterea et defluebant, et alis pendulis omnes facetias intermisit, et tam macer apparuit ut omnes ejus miserescent." "Tunc abbas sacerdotibus mandavit ut rursus furem absolverent; quo facto, Corvus, omnibus mirantibus, propediem convaluit, et pristinam sanitatem recuperavit."-De Illust. Ord. Cisterc. THE Jackdaw sat on the Cardinal's chair: Bishop and abbot and prior were there; Many a monk, and many a friar, Many a knight, and many a squire, With a great many more of lesser degree,— In sooth a goodly company; And they served the Lord Primate on bended knee. In and out Through the motley rout, That little Jackdaw kept hopping about; Here and there Like a dog in a fair, Over comfits and cakes, And dishes and plates, Cowl and cope, and rochet and pall, Mitre and crosier! he hopped upon all! With saucy air, He perch'd on the chair And he peered in the face Of his Lordship's With a satisfied look, as if he would say, And the priests with awe, As such freaks Said, "The Devil must be in that little Jackdaw!" The feast was over, the board was clear'd As any that flows between Rheims and Namur, One little boy more A napkin bore, They turn up the dishes, they turn up the plates,They take up the poker and poke out the grates, -They turn up the rugs, They examine the But, no!-no such thing;-They can't find THE And the Abbot declared that, "when nobody twigg'd it, Some rascal or other had popp'd in, and prigg'd it!" The Cardinal rose with a dignified look, He call'd for his candle, his bell, and his book! He solemnly cursed that rascally thief! He cursed him in coughing, in sneezing, in He cursed him in sitting, in standing, in lying; He cursed him in walking, in riding, in flying, He cursed him in living, he cursed him in dying!— Never was heard such a terrible curse! But what gave rise To no little surprise, Nobody seem'd one penny the worse! The day was gone, The night came on, The monks and the Friars they search'd till dawn; When the Sacristan saw, On crumpled claw, Come limping a poor little lame Jackdaw; No longer gay, As on yesterday; His feathers all seem'd to be turned the wrong way; His pinions droop'd-he could hardly stand,- HIM! |