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of his Lord is perpetually in his view, and he never rests till he is assimilated in every point to his divine pattern. This is the calling, the business, the indispensable duty of the christian. This imitation of his Savior, especially in the spirit and temper of his mind, is repugnant in. deed to his corrupt nature; but it is on that very account to be more assiduously pursued. Accuracy in doctrines may be consistent with much warmth and acrimony. It is the humble, meek, benignant, tender character, who gives the best evidence of a right frame of heart. It is to be feared that we are in gener. al too culpable in this respecttoo little careful of "putting on as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering." But let us contemplate the Son of God as "meek and lowly of heart," as "bearing the contradiction of sinners against himself," as breathing in every action, not the angry, contentious spirit of mod. ern polemics, but love, peace, gentleness, kindness, long-suffering, and grace; "when he was reviled, reviling not again, when he suffered threatening not; but committing himself to him that judgeth righteously:" and let us labor to acquire in these respects the mind which was also in Christ Jesus. Ch. Ob.

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years. Only a seventh part of that time is left to me now, and of that small remnant of life I have no assurance. How few arrive at that period of life to which I am already come! Al. most all that were born before me are now in their long home. A very few only of the compan. ions of my youth survive. Some of them had constitutions that promised a longer life than mine, and disease or accident has made an end of them. I almost wonder that I am still in the land of the living. If it had been said by an heavenly messenger ten years ago, that either my friend J. S. or myself would be in the grave before this time, it would have been thought highly proba. ble that my friend was to be my surviver, and that before this day, my eternal doom was to be pronounced. And what would it have been? I tremble at the thought. I have all reason to fear, that it would not have been with the righteous. It is writ ten, that without holiness no man shall see the Lord. That God is of purer eyes than to behold evil, or to look upon iniqui. ty; that light can have no communication with darkness; that righteousness can have no fel. lowship with unrighteousness, nor Christ any concord with Belial. But I must deceive my own soul, if I presume to rank mf. self with those who are cleansed from their filthiness.

It would be presumptuous te pass sentence against any one d my departed friends. But is it not to be feared, that some ef them are gone to the world of torment? For many, in whes company I once took pleasure, were, I had reason to think,

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careless about their own souls as I have hitherto been and no signs of amendment appeared in them before they went down to the grave. A change might pass upon them unknown to me, or there might be some good thing in them with which I was unacquainted. God forbid that I should deal damnation amongst either the living or the dead. My business is with myself. I am well convinced by late reflections on my own conduct, that if I had met with the fate of those of my friends who died in a late epidemical fever, or of one who died by a fall from his horse, I must have been in a place which I cannot name without horror. God be thanked that I am yet in the land of the living. I have read of a nobleman who was condemned to die for offences against government, and felt such terror in his soul at the thoughts of an eternal world, that he cried out, O for some more days, though I should live in a mouse hole! But the poor wretch was chased out of the world, in all appearance with his sins cleaving fast to him, and pressing him down to the pit of destruction. I am sure that I have infinite reason to bless God that I am still alive, although I were compelled to spend all the rest of my time on earth in a dungeon, or to drag them out in incessant toil on board a galley. I have been sometimes tempted to envy some of my neighbors, because they were more prosperous than myself; but henceforth I will compare my condition, not with those who are alive, but with the dead. Had I been with them in the land of forgetfulness, I must by

this time have been a devil, removed beyond the hope of salvation by Christ. I should have gone down to the grave with my bones full of the sins of my youth, which would have lain down with me in the dust, and I should have risen with them at the last day, to be exposed to the view of the whole world in all their horrible deformity.

What has not been may be. I have no assurance of my life for a single moment. Should I at this time breathe my last, what would become of me? must I not sink down into endless perdition with those sinners who have gone before me. Some of my friends, it is to be feared, would meet me there, and load me with grievous curses for the encouragement I gave them to hold on in these evil courses which led them to the place of torment. They would tell me, that if they had seen me more careful of my salvation, they might have been awakened by mine example to consider their ways; that if I had reproved them for their drunkenness, their profane words, their neglect of divine ordinances, they might have repented and prevented those eternal horrors, from which there is now no escape for them. How shall I hear their execrations against me for endless ages, when I find it so difficult to endure an unjust reproach, which is over in a moment, and forgotten in a few days.

But in that world I will probably find, that some of my friends once not better than myself, have escaped that misery to which I am doomed. The Bible spoke of a rich man in hell, who lifted up his eyes and saw Abraham

afar off, and a poor beggar, who once lay at his door full of sores. What if I too should see some whom I pitied on earth, crowned with endless felicity, whilst I am for ever confined to the regions of unmingled misery, with the devils that deceived me, and with my companions in sin, who must hate me with a perfect hatred; and whom I too would hate and curse, because we never did any thing to hinder one another from coming to the place of torment, although we were often warned of our danger.

I am filled with horror at the thought of my own stupidity: I might have been at this moment involved in all that misery which is felt by so many millions, who were once as I now am, if divine patience had not prolonged my days to this time, whilst I was doing all that lay in my power to provoke the Omnipotent to do his worst against me. It is true I was not an adulterer, nor a thief, nor a murderer, in the eyes of men; but was I not told by the Bible, that the law is spiritual; that he who lusteth after a man's wife hath already committed adultery with her in his heart; that he who hateth his brother in his heart is a murderer; that if any man love not our Lord Jesus Christ, he must be anathema maranatha; that except a man be born again he cannot see the kingdom of God. My conscience was not seared as with a hot iron. I sometimes trembled at the thought of death I sometimes rejoiced at hearing that there was a Savior infinitely kind and powerful, who would reject none that came unto him for the life of their souls. But if I should be cast

into the place of torment, must not my tortures be dreadfully aggravated by the reflection, that my conscience frequently sound. ed an alarm to no purpose, and that I neglected the great salva. tion which was often preached in mine ears.

I stood in fear of my state from the earliest times that I can remember, and I durst not neg. lect daily prayer and weekly attendance upon the public minis. trations of the word of God. I shudder at the thoughts of my stupidity in reading and hearing so many things in vain! Will not the sermons I have heard, and every book of the Bible, all of which I have read more than once, be like coals of juniper in my conscience for ever and ever, if I die in my present condition?

I often thought after reading or hearing of the danger of un. converted sinners, that I should soon take a convenient time, and make diligent search by conversing with mine own heart concerning my prospects. Not only years, but almost my whole life-time has passed away since I formed this purpose: yet noth. ing has been done to any good purpose; for the greater part of that time I entertained a hope, that although I was conscious of much imperfection, yet I was not worse than a great part of those who have a good character in the church. I flattered myself that little or nothing might be wanting to insure my eternal felicity, although I was frequently troubled with misgiving apprehensions that my works would not be found perfect before God. But of late I have thought more deeply than formerly on the subject, and am

persuaded that all my feeble hopes were delusive, and that without a complete change I am undone. In consequence of some serious admonitions which I heard, concerning the right way of using the scripture, it has become my custom to bestow some thoughts on every chapter which I read, and to consider what the mind of God is to myself in these portions of his word. This I could not long do, till I found my heart smitten with the conviction that not only imperfection adhered to my best works, but that they all wanted what was essentially necessary for their acceptance with God. I have prayed, but my prayers were not true prayers, for I did not offer up sincere desires to God for things agreeable to his will. Although I earnestly desired the blessings of divine Providence, I did not hunger and thirst after righteousness. If my desires after holiness had been more ardent than after the good things of this life, I would not have given that indulgence which I am now sensible I have done to my sinful propensities. I have sung portions of the psalms in public and private worship, but I have been utterly destitute of that joy in the Lord, that reverence and high admira. tion of his name, without which the singing of psalms is no more an act of holy worship, than the sounding of a flute.

But why should I specify particulars. My heart is deeply impressed with a sense of innumerable evils, all of which will be brought forth against me at the day of judgment, to my ut. ter confusion, if I still remain what I am at present, an unpar.

VOL. II. New Series.

doned sinner. I thank God that I am not yet become the object of general detestation. I have not been left to the commission of those gross iniquities which might have made me the object of public scorn. But the fashion of this world passeth away. At the day of judgment, persons and things will appear very different from what they are at present. Then many adulterers, fornicators, and drunkards, compared with whom I was accounted a saint, will not appear to have been worse men than I, when my secret iniquities are disclosed. Unbelief, hypocrisy, formality in the divine worship, will then appear to have been as loathsome to God, as the vile gratifications of lust, which are detested, and cannot be too greatly detested by men. Or, if these enormities, perpetrated by men who bear the christian name, shall be found to expose the doers of them to a more dreadful condemnation than their fellow sinners, who, through the knowledge of the gospel, escaped the pollution of the world through lust, yet of this I am assured, that I must (if I continue impenitent) be found a viler creature, than the most abominable sinner of the heathen world. My stupidity, my neglect of the salvation purchased by the Son of God, my preference of the pleasures of vile lusts to the pleasures of holiness, will be found more inexcusable, and will put me to more shame before the assembled world, all of whom will then view things in their proper light, than the sins of Sodom and Gomorrah would have done, if my light had been no clearer than theirs. But God forbid that I

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should, after all that I now know concerning myself, be found at the left hand of my Judge at the time of his appear ance. I have indeed arrived at old age without obtaining a share in the salvation of Christ, because I have treated it with contempt. But I am ashamed and confounded at my folly, and from henceforth I will no more trample on the grace and blood of the only Savior. O that they had known, says the gracious Redeemer, the things that belong to their peace in the day of their merciful visitation; but now they are hid from their eyes. This is not the case with me, I am not yet in the place where the mercy of God is clean gone for ever, but I still remain in the earth which is full of the goodness of the Lord. I still dwell in the valley of vision, and hear the Savior saying to sinners, who like me have long continued to provoke him by their folly, "How long, ye simple ones, will ye love simplicity, and ye scorners delight in scorning, and fools hate knowledge."

Is there hope for an old sinner who has turned for sixty years a deaf ear to the voice of eternal wisdom? Yes; who shall set limits to the grace of Christ, or who has a right to restrict the meaning of his gracious calls? It is evident that when he says, "How long will ye love simplic. ity," he speaks to men who have long refused to receive his in. structions. And who will say that he means only those who have for ten, or twelve, or twenty, or fifty years refused to hear him, but that no person of sixty years who has hitherto persisted in unbelief, has a right to

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derive any comfort from them? He saith elsewhere, "Him that cometh unto me, I will in nowise cast out." Will any man say that these blessed words are to be understood only of per. sons below sixty years of age? I know indeed that few, that perhaps next to none at that pe riod of life, who have spent all their former days in sin, are re newed to repentance. But this consideration shall urge me to greater earnestness in my appli cation to Jesus for the life of my soul. Not many wise, not many noble, not many mighty are called. But have any of the wise and noble been deterred by this consideration from seeking salvation by Christ? Perhaps some have; but this is certain, that none of the wise or mighty that ever came to Christ were cast out by him. Dionysius the Areopagite was made as wel come to Jesus, as the poorest sinner of Athens or of any oth. er place. Sergius Paulus was not rejected any more than the most obscure individual in Cyprus.

Some have told us, that the converted robber who was cru. cified with Jesus, never perhaps enjoyed the means of grace till he was doomed to die, or till he was nailed to the cross. But whence do they derive this supposition? Salvation was of the Jews; John's doctrine was heard of through all the land; what man in Judea had not heard of the preaching and miracles of Jesus? Bibles were common in the land. The robber, wherever he was, might have enjoyed the means of conversion if he had not despised them. His example is surely designed as an encouragement to those who are now

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