'Take that you villain,' said he, 'for it's a debt I've long owed you!'

like a bit of old plaster as possible, but for those bright eyes of his, which in his eagerness for the capture, were intently fixed upon 'Have you?' said the flour-dealer's son, as the fly. Unlucky wight! Little did he think he rushed out with a cudgel in his hand. that those very eyes had attracted the at-Then tell me how you like that-giving him tention of a fine tabby cat, who but a few such a hearty whack across the shoulders, minutes before, with blinking eyes, presented that he was fain to drop his broomstick. a perfect picture of contentment, but now Yet the blow had hardly been given, before roused by a sudden temptation, was crouching a friend of the dog's master ran up with a stealthily down as she beheld the lizard, for drawn sword, and would have made mincewhom she had so often watched in vain. meat of the flour-dealer's son, but for a soldier Down stole the lizard-on stole the cat; so who cried out, 'Shame, thou coward, and son of that here at the same moment were three a coward, who would attack a youth with only creatures so bent upon indulgence, that they a stick in his hand, and you armed with a never even thought of looking about them! sword! Shame on you! It's just like you But were these three all the parties to be rascally Hindoo fellows, who pretend to be engaged? Alas! no. There was a sworn soldiers, and are as much like soldiers as that enemy of the cat's approaching also (under poor eat. Why don't you try me?' cover of a large basket), in the shape of a mis- Why not?' replied the man. 'Do you think chievous white dog, kept by a very quarrel-I'm afraid of such a bully as you? Come on, some man on the other side of the street. you scoundrel, and I'll show you what differThis dog was the terror of all the cats in ence there is between a cat and a Hindoo!' the neighbourhood, and most of all, of the flour-dealer's; so often haa e chased her, and so often experienced the bitter disappointment of seeing her climbing up the posts of the shop, and then spitting at him from the top of the shed.

Infatuated lizard! Wretched fly! Betrayed pussy! She heeded not the sly creep of the dog, so intent was she upon the successful issue of her spring upon the lizard. The fly was gorging himself with honey. He alone partook not of the intense anxiety of the lizard, the cat, and the dog. He partook only of-honey!

Upon this the soldier drew his sword, and both began to cut at each other in good earnest.

On this all the people cried out, 'Murder! Murder!' and a great many soldiers running to the spot, were soon engaged, always attacking the Hindoos, who were on the dog's side, and the Hindoos the Mussulmans, who were on the side of the cat; and wherever a Hindoo and a Mussulman were fighting, the Hindoos aided the Hindoo, and the Mussulmans the Mussulman; and the consequence was the death of many on each side, and the wounding of most of the foolish quarrelsome people engaged.

Of course such a hubbub as this could not be continued long without its being reported to the Rajah, who forthwith hastened from his palace with his body-guard and some horsemen, and soon put a stop to this terrible fray; and all the ringleaders were forthwith seized and tied together, and marched off to prison, there to be kept closely confined till the sad business should be fully enquired into, and the cause of so dreadful a riot ascertained, and fixed upon the guilty.

The crisis at length arrived. The lizard made its nimble pounce at the fly. The cat sprang at the lizard. The lizard missed its footing in consequence, and would have been the cat's portion-fly, honey, and all-but for the dog's sudden attack upon puss. Here was a scene! The lizard falling to the ground, was at once involved in the consequences of the quarrel between the dog and cat. What were fly or honey to him at the moment, when in a state between life and death he crept back sore and wounded to his chinks and cobwebs! The fly might or might not All that night, therefore, were the magishave escaped. Not so the cat, now sorely trates and police-officers hard at work listenworried by the dog, in spite of all her out-ing to evidence, but they did not advance a cries and all she could do in the way of biting single step in the business; no, nor for several and clawing; for it was an old score the dog days after, notwithstanding the great imwas paying her off, and that might soon have patience of the Rajah, to whom they could cost her her life, if her master had not rushed only report from time to time the hearing of out of his shop with a broom-stick, with nothing but the words, Cat, Dog,'-' Cat and which he began to belabour the dog. Dog,' Dog and Cat,'-' Dog'- Cat.'

Now the owner of the dog had been as long A very similar feeling, also, was entertained at enmity with the man of flour and honey, by the lawyers who were called in, and who, as the dog had been at enmity with the cat, after intense application, declared themselves and probably longer. Of course, therefore, doubtful, very doubtful, so much was adwhen he heard his animal's cries, and saw vanced and really to be said and supported the punishment inflicting, he armed himself by various precedents, both on the side of with a broomstick also; and rushing across the street, gave the flour-dealer such a crack upon his head, as knocked him down as flat as a pancake.

the cat and of the dog, and, consequently, of the owner of the cat, as well as the owner of the dog, and the partisans of the owners of the dog and cat,-insomuch, that the whole city was

and difficulty, and which afterwards overspread the city.

split into most determined cat and dog factions, and all strangers that entered the gates were instantly absorbed in the dog and cat 'Hold, learned man,' cried the Rajah, 'thou vortex, and whirled actually round and hast well said; my eyes are opened!' and he round in this terrible fray, which every now desired search to be made for the man who and then broke out with fresh fury, notwith-had too well earned the title of Mischiefstanding all the vigilance of the Rajah's Maker. But he was no where to be either guards. And yet even these valiant heroes were in some degree infected, giving sly cuts at dog or cat men, just as they themselves inclined to support the cat and dog question. And so matters might have remained, either to the day of the final depopulation of Shorapoor, or Doomsday itself, but for the wise old Brahmin who had given such timely warning to turn out the stranger.

He had in reality been quietly chuckling a little, as many are wont to do who have lived to see their prophecies first despised and then fulfilled; but his heart relenting, he hastened to the palace, and prostrating himself before the Rajah with hands joined together, he thus spoke

May I be your sacrifice, O thou eater of mountains and drinker of rivers! I have a petition to make in this matter of the cat and dog!'

found or heard of; and the poor flour-dealer, who stood among the prisoners with a bandaged head, declared that the villain had not even paid for the honey that had caused the whole tumult.

'Well,' exclaimed the Rajah, after a profound pause; 'here now may most plainly be seen a proof-if any such were required-that my subjects only want a pretext, no matter what, to quarrel, and they are sure to go to loggerheads.

I now throw no blame upon either the cat or the dog; for each animal followed its own peculiar instinct. The blame and the punishment too, must light upon the owners of the dog and cat for fighting, and thus inducing others to espouse so ridiculous a quarrel.'

And forthwith he ordered all the principal rioters into confinement, saying also to the rest of the people :-

It shall be heard,' replied the Rajah. 'Thou art a wise man; what dost thou say?-dog- 'Go home now, fools that ye are, and try cat-dog and cat, or cat and dog? For my whether you cannot make up your minds to own part, I still reserve my decision, though live at peace with one another. I cannot somewhat inclining to the opinion that the prevent your keeping cats and dogs, because cat caused all the mischief, and for this were I to do so, we should be devoured by reason, because if the dog had not seen the vermin or exposed to robbery. But this I tell eat, he very probably would not have chased you, you shall not turn yourselves into cats her-"out of sight out of mind" being one of and dogs for the future with impunityour oldest as well as truest proverbs.' DEPART!' So they all sneaked off; and the 'Alas! that I should differ with your High-active little man whose head somebody had ness-Brave Falcon, terrible in War-the most broken, scratched it and said :valiant of the State-the Tiger of the Country,' 'Only think how well that strange fellow replied the Prime Minister. 'How could the knew us all!' eat help being worried by the dog?—and did not nature give her a right to go where she pleased?'

So the whole Court took at once different sides, and matters might have come to a serious explosion, even within the sacred walls of the palace itself, but for the Brahmin, who again lifted up his voice and said :

May it please your Highness! Let me declare to you that it was neither the dog nor the cat that caused all this misery, but the Fly and the Honey!'

The fly and the honey! The fly and the honey! exclaimed the astonished Rajah. 'What honey, and what fly?'

A CARD FROM MR. BOOLEY.

MR. BOOLEY (the great traveller) presents his compliments to the conductor of Household Words, and begs to call his attention to an omission in the account given in that delightful journal, of MR. BOOLEY's remarks, in addressing the Social Oysters.

MR. BOOLEY, in proposing the health of MR. THOMAS GRIEVE, in connexion with the

beautiful diorama of the route of the Overland Mail to India, expressly added (amid much cheering from the Oysters) the names of MR. TELEIN his distinguished coadjutor; MR. And, as this was a perfectly new idea, the ABSOLON, who painted the figures; and assembly listened with profound attention MR. HERRING, who painted the animals. while the holy man unfolded the true history Although MR. BOOLEY'S tribute of praise can of the case. His having seen the stranger, be of little importance to those gentlemen, he and warned the people against him. How is uneasy in finding them left out of the accurately he had observed the drop of honey delightful Journal referred to. dabbed against the wall. Then the approach of the fly, the sly gliding of the lizard, the wily creeping of the cat, and the stealthy vindictive movements of the dog involving all these creatures in much pain

MR. BOOLEY has taken the liberty of endeavouring to give this communication an air of novelty, by omitting the words 'Now, Sir,' which are generally supposed to be essential to all letters written to Editors for publica

tion. It may be interesting to add, in fact, that the Social Oysters considered it impossible that MR. BOOLEY could, by any means, throw off the present communication, without availing himself of that established form of address.

Highbury Barn, Monday Evening.

'I am glad,' I said, 'to think that this is not all additional litigation. I presume these are the thousands of causes a-year withdrawn from the superior Courts?'

'The skeletons of them,' said Mr. Ficker, with a sigh. There were some pickings out of the old processes; but I am afraid that there is nothing but the bone here.'

'I see here,' said I, pointing to one of the lists, a single plaintiff entered, as proceeding against six-and-twenty defendants in succession.'

LAW AT A LOW PRICE. Low, narrow, dark, and frowning are the thresholds of our Inns of Court. If there is one of these entrances of which I have 'Ah,' said Mr. Ficker, rubbing his hands, a more dread than another, it is that leading knowing fellow that; quite awake to the out of Holborn to Gray's Inn. I never business of these Courts. A cheap and easy remember to have met a cheerful face at it, way, Sir, of recovering old debts. I don't until the other morning, when I encountered know who the fellow is a tailor very likely Mr. Ficker, attorney-at-law. In a few-but no doubt you will find his name in minutes we found ourselves arm in arm, and the list in this way once every half year. straining our voices to the utmost amid the If his Midsummer and Christmas bills are noise of passing vehicles. Mr. Ficker stretched not punctually paid, it is far cheaper to himself on tiptoe in a frantic effort to inform come here and get a summons served, than to me that he was going to a County Court. send all over London to collect the accounts, 'But perhaps you have not heard of these with the chance of not finding the customer at places?'

home. And this is one way, you see, in which I assured Mr. Ficker that the parliamentary we solicitors are defrauded. No doubt, this discussions concerning them had made me fellow formerly employed an attorney to write very anxious to see how justice was adminis- letters for him, requesting payment of the tered in these establishments for low-priced amount of his bill, and 6s. 8d. for the cost of Law. I am going to one now,' but he impres- the application. Now, instead of going to an sively added, you must understand, that pro- attorney, he comes here and gets the summons fessionally I do not approve of their working. served for 28. A knowing hand that,—a knowThere can be no doubt that they seriously pre-ing hand.'

judice the regular course of law. Comparing But,' I said, 'surely no respectable tradesthe three quarters preceding with three quar-man

ters subsequent to the establishment of these 'Respectable,' said Mr. Ficker, 'I said nothing, Courts, there was a decrease of nearly 10,000 about respectability. This sort of thing is writs issued by the Court of Queen's Bench very common among a certain class of tradesalone, or of nearly 12,500 on the year.'

people, especially puffing tailors and bootmakers. Such people rely less on regular than on chance custom, and therefore they care less about proceeding against those who deal with them."'

We soon arrived at the County Court. It is a plain, substantial-looking building, wholly without pretension, but at the same time not devoid of some little architectural elegance of exterior. We entered, by a gateway far less austere than that of Gray's Inn, a long, welllighted passage, on either side of which were offices connected with the Court. One of 'Phoo, phoo,' said Mr. Ficker; they are, these was the Summons Office, and I observed probably, soon known here, and then, if the on the wall a Table of Fees,' and as I saw judge does his duty, they get bare justice, Mr. Ficker consulting it with a view to his own business, I asked him his opinion of the charges.

'But,' said I, 'this is a decided abuse of the power of the Court. Such fellows ought to be exposed.'

"Why,' said he, 'the scale of fees is too large for the client and too small for the lawyer. But suitors object less to the amount than to the intricacies and perplexities of the Table. In some districts the expense of recovering a sum of money is one-third more than it is in others; though in both the same scale of fees is in operation. This arises from the variety of interpretations which different judges and officers put upon the charges.'

Passing out of the Summons Office, we entered a large hall, placarded with lists of trials for the ensuing week. There were more than one hundred of them set down for trial on nearly every day.

and nothing more. I am not sure, indeed, that sometimes their appearance here may not injure rather than be of advantage to them; for the barrister may fix a distant date for payment of a debt which the tradesman, by a little civility, might have obtained from his customer a good deal sooner.'

'The Court' I found to be a lofty room, somewhat larger and handsomer than the apartment in which the Hogarths are hung up in the National Gallery. One half was separated from the other by a low partition, on the outer side of which stood a miscellaneous crowd of persons who appeared to be waiting their turn to be called forward. Though the appearance of the Court was new and handsome, everything was plain and simple.

I was much struck by the appearance and

manner of the Judge. He was comparatively a friendly sort of confidence which characa young man; but I fancied that he displayed terised some of the proceedings. Here again the characteristics of experience. His atten- the effect in a great measure was attribution to the proceedings was unwearied; his table to the Barrister. He seemed to act,discrimination appeared admirable; and there as indeed he is rather as an authorised was a calm self-possession about him that arbitrator than as a Judge. He advised bordered upon dignity. rather than ordered; 'I really think,' he said to one defendant, I really think, Sir, you have made yourself liable.' 'Do you, Sir?' said the man, pulling out his purse without more ado, then, Sir, I am sure I will pay.'

The suitors who attended were of every class and character. There were professional men, tradesmen, costermongers, and a peer. Among the plaintiffs, there were specimens of the considerate plaintiff, the angry plaintiff, the It struck me, too, as remarkable, that cautious plaintiff, the bold-swearing plaintiff, though some of the cases were hotly contested, the energetic plaintiff, the practised plaintiff, none of the defeated parties complained of the shrewish (female) plaintiff, the nervous the decision. In several instances, the parties plaintiff, and the revengeful plaintiff. Each even appeared to acquiesce in the propriety plaintiff was allowed to state his or her case of the verdict. in his or her own way, and to call witnesses, if there were any. When the debt appeared to be prima facie proved, the Barrister turned to the defendant, and perhaps asked him if he disputed it?

The characteristics of the defendants were quite as different as the characteristics of the plaintiffs. There was the factious defendant, and the defendant upon principle-the stormy defendant, and the defendant who was timidthe impertinent defendant, and the defendant who left his case entirely to the Court-the defendant who would never pay, and the defendant who would if he could. The causes of action I found to be as multifarious as the parties were diverse. Besides suits by tradespeople for every description of goods supplied, there were claims for every sort and kind of service that can belong to humanity, from the claim of a monthly nurse, to the claim of the undertaker's assistant.

In proving these claims the Judge was strict in insisting that a proper account should have been delivered; and that the best evidence should be produced as to the correctness of the items. No one could come to the court and receive a sum of money merely by swearing that Mr. So-and-so owes me so much.'

With regard to defendants, the worst thing they could do, was to remain away when summoned to attend. It has often been observed that those persons about whose dignity there is any doubt, are the most rigorous in enforcing its observance. It is with Courts as it is with men; and as Small Debt Courts are sometimes apt to be held in some contempt, I found the Judge here very prompt in his decision, whenever a defendant did not appear by self or agent. Take a case in point :Barrister (to the Clerk of the Court). Make an order in favour of the plaintiff. Plaintiff's Attorney. Your honour will give us speedy recovery?

-

Barrister. Will a month do, Mr. Docket? Plaintiff's Attorney. The defendant is, not here to assign any reason for delay, your honour. Barrister. Very well: then let him pay in a fortnight.

I was much struck, in some of the cases, by

A Scotch shoeing-smith summoned a man who, from his appearance, I judged to be a hard, keen-dealing Yorkshire horse-jobber; he claimed a sum of money for putting shoes upon six-and-thirty horses. His claim was just, but there was an error in his particulars of demand which vitiated it. The Barrister took some trouble to point out that in consequence of this error, even if he gave a decision in his favour, he should be doing him an injury. The case was a hard one, and I could not help regretting that the poor plaintiff should be non-suited. Did he complain? Neither by word or action. Folding up papers, he said sorrowfully, 'Well, Sir, I assure you I would not have come here, if it had not been a just claim.' The Barrister evidently believed him, for he advised a compromise, and adjourned the case that the parties might try to come to terms. But the defendant would not arrange, and the plaintiff was driven to elect a non-suit.

his

The mode of dealing with documentary evidence afforded me considerable satisfaction. Private letters-such as the tender effusions of faithless love-are not, as in the higher Courts, thrust, one after the other, into the dirty face of a grubby-looking witness who was called to prove the handwriting, sent the round of the twelve jurymen in the box, and finally passed to the reporters that they might copy certain flowery sentences and a few stanzas from 'Childe Harold,' which the shorthand writers' could not catch,' but are handed up seriatim to the Judge, who looks through them carefully and then passes them over without observation for the re-perusal of the defendant. Not a word transpires, except such extracts as require comment.

There was a claim against a gentleman for a butcher's bill. He had the best of all defences, for he had paid ready money for every item as it was delivered. The plaintiff was the younger partner of a butchering firm which had broken up, leaving him in possession of the books and his partner in possession of the credit. The proprietor of the bookdebts proved the order and delivery of certain joints prior to a certain date, and swore they had not been paid for. To show his title

to recover the value of them, he somewhat It did not appear to me that the plaintiffs unnecessarily thrust before the Barrister the generally in this Court were anxious to press deed which constituted him a partner. The very hardly upon defendants. Indeed it would Judge instantly compared the deed with the be bad policy to do so. Give a man time, bill. Why,' he said, turning to the butcher, and he can often meet demands that it would 'all the items you have sworn to were pur- be impossible for him to defray if pressed at chased anterior to the date of your entering once. into partnership. If any one is entitled to recover, it is your partner, whom the defendant alleges he has paid.' In one, as they are called, of the Superior Courts,' I very much doubt whether either Judge or Jury would have discovered for themselves this important discrepancy.

6

'Immediate execution' in this Court, seemed to be payment within a fortnight. An order to pay in weekly instalments is a common mode of arranging a case, and as it is usually made by agreement between the parties, both of them are satisfied. In fact the rule of the Court seemed not dissimilar from that of tradespeople who want to do a quick business, and who proceed upon the principle that 'No reasonable offer is refused.'

The documentary evidence was not confined to deeds and writings, stamped or unstamped. Even during the short time I was present, I saw some curious records produced before the I had been in the Court sufficiently long to Barrister-records as primitive in their way make these and other observations, when as those the Chancellor of the Exchequer used Mr. Ficker introduced me to the clerk. On to keep in the Tally-Office, before the com- leaving the Court by a side door, we repaired paratively recent introduction of book-keeping to Mr. Nottit's room, where we found that into the department of our national accountant. gentleman, (an old attorney,) prepared to do Among other things received in evidence, the honours of 'a glass of sherry and a biscuit.' were a milkwoman's score, and a baker's Of course the conversation turned upon 'the notches. Mr. Ficker appeared inclined to County Court." think that no weight ought to be attached to such evidence as this. But when I recollect that there have occasionally been such things as tombstones produced in evidence before Lord Volatile in his own particular Court, the House of Lords, ('the highest jurisdiction,' as they call it, in the realm,') I see no good reason why Mrs. Chalk, the milk woman, should not be permitted to produce her tallies in a County Court. For every practical purpose the score upon the one seems just as good a document as the epitaph upon the other.

I was vastly pleased by the great consideration which appeared to be displayed towards misfortune and adversity. These Courts are emphatically Courts for the recovery of debts; and inasmuch as they afford great facilities to plaintiffs, it is therefore the more incumbent that defendants should be protected against hardship and oppression. A man was summoned to show why he had not paid a debt pursuant to a previous order of the Court. The plaintiff attended to press the case against him, and displayed some rancour.

'Doing a pretty good business here?' said Mr. Ficker.

'Business-we're at it all day,' replied Mr. Nottit. 'I'll show you. This is an account of the business of the County Courts in England and Wales in the year 1848; the account for 1849 is not yet made up.'

'Takes six months, I suppose, to make it,' said Mr. Ficker, rather ill-naturedly. "Total "Number of Plaints or Causes entered," read the clerk, '427,611.'

'Total amount of money sought to be recovered by the plaintiffs,' continued Mr. Nottit, '1,346,8027.'

'Good Gracious!' exclaimed Ficker, his face expressing envy and indignation; 'what a benefit would have been conferred upon society, if all this property had been got into the legitimate Law Courts. What a benefit to the possessors of all this wealth. I have no doubt whatever that during the past year the suitors who have recovered this million and a quarter have spent the whole of it, squandered it upon what they called "necessaries of life." Look at the difference if it had only been locked up for them-say in Chancery. It would have been preserved with the greatest possible safety; accounted for every fraction of it-in the books of the Accountant-General; and we, Sir, we-the respectable practitioners in the profession- should have gone down In the Superior Courts this would have three or four times every year to the Master's been no excuse. The man would probably offices to see that it was all right, and to have have gone to prison, leaving his wife and had a little consultation as to the best means family upon the parish. But here that novel of holding it safely for our client, until his sentiment in law proceedings-sympathy-suit was properly and equitably disposed of." peeped forth. 'But, perhaps, Ficker,' I suggested, 'these

'Why have you not paid, Sir?' demanded the Judge, sternly.

'Your honour,' said the man, 'I have been out of employment six months, and within the last fortnight everything I have in the world has been seized in execution.'

I believe this man would pay,' said the poor clients make better use of their own barrister, if possible. But he has lost every-money, after all, than the Courts of Law and thing in the world. At present I shall make Equity could make of it for them.' Then the costs,' said Mr. Ficker, with an

no order.'