Desinant Maledicere malefacta ne noscant sua.TER. Let the club of others cease to speak ill, Lest of their own misdeeds they hear 'gainst their will.


[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

Unnumbered crimes wbich I had done,
And that my character was gone,
Impossible the change did seem,
And swiftly flew the honest dream.

As swift as when between the clouds,
To view tbe moon ber form unstrouds,
Those clouds soon closing hide hev light,
And all around reigns gloomy night.
So were those darting Thoughts again
Succeeded by a darker train;
And while we chatted v'er the bowl,
My business flashed upon my soul,
And for it fitter fire, I ween,
Than this there never could have lieen.
Long time with care I devious plied,
And many a lie and story tried,
To lead the servants to declare,
If aaght resembling happened there.

I told them tales about the wars,
Add sbewed, to raise belief, my scars ;
And all that night the blazing hearth
Resounded loud our cheerful mirth;
They sung and told their tales in turn,
Yet nought of Langton could I learn;
At length from me they called a song
And roand me crowded in a throng,
I said, Ere since I have been bere,
I've met with noble hearty cheer,
So I will take you at yoar word,
And sing about your noble lord.

In an ancient hall

Fitzalban lives,
He is a Baron bold,
'Tis open to the wanderer's call,

Same as it was of old.
By a silver lake,

In a noble park,
His ancient castle stands;
And he both fish and game can take,

From his own lake and lands.
Fitzalban is bold,

Fitzalban is brave,
And full of charity;
And not more famed for land and gold,

Than hospitality
So then may no traveller

Ever pass by it,
Without singing. Fitzalban
Long live and enjoy it.

When I my simple song had ceas'd,
The servants all looked wondrous pleased;
Admired my tone and praised each word,
For well they served and loved their Lord;
And when full load the last line thrilled,
The cups were by old Edward filled,
Who now had lost his look so sour,
And loadly called another hour ;'
More logs were laid upon the fire,
For pone seemed willing to retire,
And heartily we quafted the ale,
And merrily we told the tale ;
One told the tale of Robin Hood,
And pranks in Nottingham green wood,
And this I thougbt.is just the thing,
If I am called again to sing.

Quickly the tale had gone its round,
Again the cups were empty found,
Again it was my turn to sing,
And thus I made the ball to ring.

Bold Robin Hood hated the friars and priests,
Their parses so heavy oft paid for the feasts,
And revels he kept with biş merry men brave,
In Sherwood's green forest in Robin Hood's care.

Little John and Will Scarlet and more than I know,
With Robin were famed for their skill at the bow,
From sword or from oak-stick their terrible blows,
Would conquer their stoutest and skilfullest foes.,
And wben Robin bley from his bugle a blast,
His merry men all at the sainmons would haste,
A jolly ten score of them then might be seen,
Al marching in doublets of bright Lipoolp green,
The nobles who near Robin's haunt lived around,
or Robin's lond bugle horn hated the sound,
Afraid they were of him and dreaded his name,
For freely be rang'd in their parks for his game.--

My tale would now be much too long,

I must tett of all my song,
How Robin with the tinker fought,
And friar who long had Robin sought,
When at three blasts and whistles loud,
There came of combatants a crowd,
The friar's dogs and Robin's men
Who hot renew the fight again.
How Johnny went to beg his bread,
And bow on that occasion sped ;
How Robin made two friars pray
For money half a summer day,
A'many a tale and trick I ween,
Or Robin in the wood so green;
Bat the conclusion I will tell,
And afterwards what me befel.


Fitzalban's not plagued with such outlaws as he,
But robbers and poachers his merry park flee;
And in bis old ball mirth and pleasure abound,
While peace and tranquility reign all around.

There thou art wrong,' old Edward said,
• Thon there art out,' and shook bis head.
'Wrong am I, friend,' said I, • how so,'

Listen,' cries he, and thou shalt know,
Returning lately from the chace,
The evening drawing on apace,
We heard the Baron's bugle-sound
Echoed among the hills around,
And hasting at the calling blast,
We met a fellow ranning fast,
And as his looks like guilty sbow'd,
We stopt his further devious road,

* Unto our Lord the man we took,
Who sharply gave him a rebuke;
Thep to the hall we took our way,
Nor made remark or longer stay,
There searched his sack and found a deer,
And thus thou seest we've poachers here.'
Now having thus obtained a clue,
Remained nought but to parsue ;
I did, and learned the story o’er,
That I bave told and something more.
The poacher dreading of bis fate,
Had fought with them most desperate,
And of the servants wounded five,
Whom it was thought oould not survive.
Assured I was by their account,
The poacher was our Langton Blount;
Nay more I won old Edward's mind
To tell me where he was confined.

When morning came I left the ball,
Fitzalban blessed, and thanked them all,
Directed to the cave my way,
Arrived there early in the day,
Gave to my comrades word by word,
A true account of all I'd heard ;
Thinking po steps could then be ta'en,
At rest we let the thing remain,
Until we heard report one day,
Oar comrade's life must forfeit pay.
Much were we by the tale appalled,
That strictest our attention called,
We pitied much his doleful plight,
For Langton was our favourite.


SIR,-I am as much pleased with works of iogenious fiction as any man, when they are used in the cause of virtae, or tend to innocent amusement : bnt when I find them employed in the diffusion of soandal, misrepresentation, and falsehood, then I conceive it to be the duty of every lover of truth, to step forward and unmask the pretender, to strip the lion's skin from his recreant limbs, and show the world the asses ears concealed beneath. Such was the object of my former letter, and I flatter myself, the success attendant on my endeavours, has been such as not to deter me from the prosecution of my plan. Let the Club' indulge themselves as much as they please in the works of imagination, but when they pretend to represent the manners of the age, or lash" the follies of the day, let them then, at least, bave some regard to truth, and though they nothing extenuate, let them not set ought down in malice. Let them reflect that they, who live ip glass-houses should not be the first to throw stones, for they who attack another, ubprovoked, must expect retaliation, and if they are not quite so gently treated as they may wish, it is the nataral result of their own conduct, and they are themselves only to blame.

· Whether I have a musical oddity of face, or recite with a northern accent, whether I bave married a blue stocking, or framed a foolish hypothesis, can make no more difference to your readers than if I was a spouting character of notoriety,-a frequenter of ale house clubs,-a self-created critic,-or a modest Clubite, not sparing of self-praise, for they will still look at the Club' with the same merited contempt, with which the world in general treats those who are brougbt up in the school of scandal. They will still have the same reason to admire their vanity and egotism, their impudence and assurance. Though indeed my claim to praise, for my efforts to expose them, may not be so worthy of praise, if they arise from private feeling, yet it can make no difference as to the merits of the Club' in the eye of the world.

As I am too modest to take praise to myself where it is not my due; it becomes me to admit, that I have neither generosity sufficient voluntarily to become a victim, nor courage enough to attack a windmill, lest your readers by my silence should think I laid claim to such distinction. No, indeed, those would be undertakings far too elevated for me, who ought only to meddle with humbler matters, such for instance, as 'the Club;' for though a worm may feel a pang as great as when a giant dies, yet the same degree of exertions or abilities is not required, to destroy the one as the other, nor is the destroyer of mean animals considered equal to the bunter of nobler brutes, or is he required to bave the same extent of courage or capacity.

I trust that I am equally as willing to receive as to give advice, and shall certainly avail myself even of that of the Club,' if ever I find any thing useful to myself; but am sorry to say, their labour is at present thrown away upon me, as they do not seem to understand the situation in which I am placed. The conduct of the members of the Club,' had already led me to imagine, that many other persons were connected with ridiculous clubs than those with whom I am associated, and I am pleased to have my ideas confirmed by their own acknowledgment.

I sincerely hope, Mr. Editor, that my letter may be the cause of obtaining more readers to the papers of the Club,' than they otherwise would have, as it must not only be productive of benefit to you, but entirely answer my end, that of making the Club' more publicly ridiculous, until the members become,

[ocr errors]


like the characters in the Dunciad, only notorious You have saved me the trouble of disavowing all THEATRE-ROYAL, MANCHESTER. for their folly and dullness. From such objects, connection with the Club.' The connection is, howhowever ambitions may be their views, the world ever, one of which I should have been proud ; for

FOR EASTER WEEK ONLY! can have little to fear, but has much to expect in the to discover the superior talent of the author or authors way of amusement from their assumed importance of the papers in question, the mere ordinary reader The Re-engagement of Mr. Lee's Magnificent Pageant their egregious vanity, and their invulnerable egotism. need only to compare the essays of the Club,' with

of the Coronation. If your readers can discover in the conspicuous dis- the learned letters by which they have been assailed. On Easter Monday, April 8th, will be Performed play made of these qualities, by the Club,' the advo- The genius evinced by the Club, can neither acquire

the popular Play of cates of rational opinions and the cheerful encomiasts reputation by my praises, 'nor lose it by the feeling of real excellence, then ought they not to withold sneers of Ichneumon.

BRUTUS; or, THE FALL OF TARQUIN. their tribute of praise, but if, on the contrary, they Ichneumon is certainly very consistent, when he re- After which, will be presented, for the 20th time at perceive that their aim is to misrepresent and to de- proaches a supposed author of the Club,' for his per- this Theatre, the Grand Pageant of the tract from whatever is useful or good, tben, however sonalities. The motive of Ichneumon's interference

CORONATION much they may be amused by their futile attempts, with the Club,' is, I think, very apparent. It is

HIS MAJESTY GEORGE THE FOURTH, they must hold them in sovereign contempt.

plain that he is quite ignorant of the source of the If I had indeed been the first to utter the war letters; for you, sir, bave, with generous mildness, Which still continues to be performed at the Theatrewhoop and lift the hatchet, then should I conceive exposed his mistake : and I therefore think that the Royal, Drury-Lane, to crowded and overflowing myself in the wrong, bat, when I merely take up my readers of the Iris have, from circumstances, a right houses. The whole produced, at an immense expen to expose slanderers, I feel myself perfectly jas- to infer, that Ichneumon has meanly availed himself pense, by-Mr. Lee, from London, who is engaged for tified in holding up to ridicule both them and their of this opportunity to attempt to wound the feelings

THIS WEEK ONLY !!! objects, and shall not shrink from the task, though of some individual, who bas, for reasons best known in the course of the Pageant, the Grand Entrée of the tenfold the wit that enlivens and the elegance that to bimself, found it proper to shup his society. Let

King's Champion on Horseback. adorns' their compositions, were arrayed against me; him explain this matter as he may: his readers will nor shall they find me in the least afraid either of judge from facts wbich he can neither pervert nor A Dramatic Performance will precede the Coronation themselves or the dragon, as I consider them both to conceal.

every Evening this Week. be creatures better adapted for the meridian of a This worthy member of a worthy fraternity seems pot house, than the pages of the Iris, and each of to be at cross purposes with himself. If, in the ridi

SMALL SWORD EXERCISE. whom I shall always treat with an equal degree of culous portraits which the author of the Club' has respect, and consider alike, usefal, valuable, and presented as, there is no resemblance to be found to

MONSIEUR ROQUEMIR'S Exhibition of Attack estimable.

the shining characters which Ichneumon enumerates, and Defence, with the SMALL SWORD, in the Large If the laurel branches were the real object of my where, then, are the 'offensive personalities.'. But Room in the Old Assembly Rooms, Brown-street, on ambition, I certainly have shewn a want of judgment, Ichneumon is angry; as is evident from his insionain suffering my pen to dwell upon so mean a subject tion respecting your partialities, as well as from his Monday the 8th, and Friday the 12th of April, 1822,

at Seven o'Clock in the Evening.-In the course of the for the exercise of its skill as is the Club.' With a harmless menaces against another; and therefore it Evening, MASTER MINASI, (only Seven Years mind dwelling upon any thing so low and humble, was not unlikely that his letter should be sprinkled old) will have the honour to Play, (by desire, the who could reasonably expect to soar far above its own with inconsistencies.

following FAVOURITE AIRS ; accompanied on the level, or to gain credit by shewing his acquaintance I fear that a little advice would be thrown away Piano, by Mr. BARDSLEY, and on the flute, by Mr. with it. My object was, I avow, to expose the Club' apon my assailant; otherwise I would remind bim MINASI. for its wanton and approvoked attack upon individu- that, whether among Jews or Gentiles, it is rather il merit and useful institutions, and not to acquire for ill-jadged in a person to excite pæblic attention ' when Introduction and Grand March.—Composed and exniyself the fame of literary merit. If I have succeed- he has nothing particular to say.'-I am, Sir,

pressly arranged for the occasion, for piapo-forte ed in that object, I am perfectly indifferent as to hav

April 2nd, 1822.

A CLUBITE. and two flutes-Mr. Minasi, Mr. Bardsley, and ing transgressed against the rules of grammar, or

Master Minasi.

...... Bardsley. having drawn upon me the censure' of the school mas

Solo Flute.-Master Minasi, the much admired air, ter, or provoked the smiles of the Club.' . It is much

TO CORRESPONDENTS. easier for men to find fault with the composition of

“Ye Banks and Braes," with the favourite Che

rokee air, “Fall-lall-la," with variations, composothers, than to compose with purity themselves and I would, therefore, refer ' the Club' to the words of The Letter of * A Friend,' in reply to the Philosophical

ed expressly for bim ; accompanied on the grand Terence, and advise them to act accordingly, lest

piano, by Mr. Bardsley....

Denwan. Query, and. Observator' on the Lancasterian School, are others should think it worth their notice to direct unavoidably deferred until our next.

Rousseau's Dream," an air with variations, for the some attention to the productions that are poured We are under the necessity of apprising our correspondents,

piano-forte, with introduction, by Mr. Bardsley.. forth from the Green Dragou, and examine whether that the controversy respecting 'the Club must termi.

J. B. Cramer. they are fit to be compared with the periodical essays

nate with the letters inserted in the present nuniber.

Solo Flute.-Master Minasi, ihe much admired air,

Speaking generally, we have, for our own parts, no objecof Addison, with which, indeed, the modest member tion to these paper bullets of the brain,' when the firing

“ O Dolce Concento," by Mozart, with variations, of the club, without a nam3, who is now the equally is not kept up too long; and we feel persuaded that even accompanied by Mr. Minasi and Mr. Bardsley. as modest member of the Club,' has thought fit in the contcading parties will acquiesce in the propriety of

J. F. Barrowes and C. Nicholson. the exercise of bis modesty to compare them.—Let

our determination, when they look back and see to what

little purpose they have written.-We can assure them that Solo Flute.—Master Minasi, “Oh! Nanny, wilt thon them reflect

the anthors of the Club' are behind a curtain which, gang wi' me?" and the favourite Hungarian Waliz, Tis hard to say if greater want of skill unless they withdraw it themselves, will conceal them for

with piano and flute accompaniments. Appears in writing or in judging ill :

ever. We shall be glad to hear from some of their oppo. Bit of the two less dangerous is th' offence,

nents and friends on other subjects.-1f'war is their ele. -"' I have lost my love, but I care not," a favourite air, To tire our patience than mislead our sense 4 ment, and they cannot live out of it,' we shall be happy

with introduction, and variations for the pianoSome few in that but numbers err in this, to allow them a reasonable space for every new discussion

forte. M.S. Ten censure wrong for one who writes amiss. they may please to commence.-We give them credit,

Bardsley. however, for being able to produce better things on more Italian Air.-"Sal Margine d'un rin," with an introand then proceed again to censure and criticise as interesting occasions.

duction and variations for the flute, composed exmuch as they please, for the world must be made We wish · Observer would substantiate the charges which pressly for, and dedicated to Master Minasi, by conscius of their own abilities, before they will he has brought against some of our pretended friends," retake their censures or criticism upon trust.-I am specting a breach of confidence. If he declipe doing so,


.... Lacy. he must excuse us if we place the charge to the account of Solo Flute.—Master Minasi, the favourite air, “ YelMarch 22th, 1822. AN OBSERVER

low-hair'd Laddie,” with new introduction and diWe have received P. L.'s Ictter; but as it consists merely of vertimento, composed expressly for, and dedicated TO THE EDITOR. an eulogiom ou ' the Club,' and as we have had a number

to him, accompanied on the piano, by Mr. Bardsof letters to the same purpose, we must decline inserting it.-Since the confession is, in a manner, extorted from


Lacy. Our men in backram shall have blows enough,

ns, we may be allowed to say, that in respect to style and Aud feel they too' are penetrable staff;'

manner, at least, the letters of the Club are, in our opi. This will be the last time of Master Minasi's appearance And though I hope not hence unscathed to go,

nion, entitled to very high praise. They will certainly in Manchester, previous to his departure. Who conquers me, shall find a stabborn foe. loose nothing by a comparison with any imitations of them.

ADMITTANCE, THREE SHILLINGS. The communication of Ms is received. He is certainly The Doors will be open at Six, and the Performance SIR, I had anticipated a reply to my short letter

mistaken in the allusion he makes. We wish he would in favour of the Club. I touched a sore place, and send us the names of the persons he mentions, as we do will commence precisely at Seven in the Evening. was prepared for the consequences. I have, how- not recognize them from the initials. eyer, been disappointed. I did imagine that the party Further communications to acknowledge-Philomathes.-of which Ichneumon seems to be the organ, would

Juvena.-J. S. of Stayley.-- John Swilbrig. -N

MANCHESTER : Printed, Published, and Sold, by

B. B.-T. V.-P. G.-C. M. of Bolton.-Pbilo-Juvenis. have had the talent to do better, or the sense to be

HENRY SMITH AND BROTHERS, St. Ann's T. A. -Saxo-Grammaticns.--Bede the Younger, and Tho. silent mas Welsby of Leicester.


[ocr errors]

his invention!


[graphic][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small]


are caused by the expansive force of steam, | beyond a doubt, by the extraordinary interest aided by fire; but from what has been before which his pictures excite, not only among t'.

said respecting the decomposition of water, graphically untutored, but the most cultivate VOLCANOES.

steam can have little or no power, as the water tastes. They are not only crowded about in THE opinion of the Philosophical part of the duced into air, therefore steam can have little of charmed recollection and discourse. Like

instead of being converted into vapour is re- the Exhibition-room, but are the after-subjects nomena could never be reconciled, yet, it is agency in these cases. A more modern, and impressions of friendship, they exist in the generally acknowledged that, though their ef that

eruptions are caused by the central fire them are withdrawn from the sight; for with

perhaps a more reasonable theory, supposes mind, after the objects which first produced world, they tend to the well-being, if not the coming in contact with large quantities of out the aid of the Engraver and Painter, we preservation, of the whole. Were it not for have the property of detonating when mixed. our imaginations. They at once become inter

sulphur, nitre, and other substances, which carry away beautiful impressions of them upon these vent holes of the earth, as we may justly That these exist in the earth, combined with woven in the finely-wrought texture of sensicall them, the accumulation of the internal other bodies, none can doubt'; and it is clear bility and thought. The fire of genius burns fire, and consequent dilatation of subterranean from the examples which gunpowder, &c. give us, them at once into our

memories. But the pure bodies, would certainly produce earthquakes that the combination of these bodies with heat, pictorial ore is not without alloy. Mr. MARTIN very frequently, which all must allow are (to is fully sufficient to produce the effects recorded has a correct and elegant eye for the arrangethe world in general) of much worse conse of the eruptions of Etna. In answer to this ment of his architecture, landscape, and figures, quences than volcanoes. Thus, were it possible explanation, however, it may be asked, why do (of a mixture of which his works generally conof the like nature, we should undoubtedly not eruptions happen more frequently, for we sist,) and a strong and imaginative conception subject ourselves to earthquakes, which would may suppose the fire, sulphurous, and bitu- of his subject ; but he wants a proportionate in time break up the shell of our world, and minous rocks to be stationary, and why do power of proper execution, to give that concepdestroy it, at least as a habitable globe.

not the eruptions continue until the whole in- tion all its force. In the language of his art,

Hammable matter is spent. Sone have endeavoured to account for the

he is inferior to his invention. In the latter,

Froin this short view of the theories which he rises above comipon nature into the poetical; immensity of fame and heat which are given have been raised to explain these wonders of in the first

, he is below it. His execution is of water and consequent production of inflam- nature, we see that none of them are satisfac- indeed vigorous ; but it is a mannered vigor. mable air.

There yndoubtedly is in the interior of the bably will be so until our knowledge of elec- represented, for it wants that true exterior of earth, a large space filled with fire and water, for let the true cause be what it may, electricity, ture, which, whether the subject be elevated or

tricity (which is yet in its infancy), advances, objects, that similitude to their surface in nacharcoal, &c. resolves the latter into its con- seems to bear a considerable part, as in a late common, ought to characterise every picture, stituent elements, viz. oxygen or vital air, and eruption of Vesuvius the air was so strongly whatever some esteemed crities, with REY: hydrogen prinflammableair ; whenever this de- electrified that it would charge a Leyden phial NOLD's at their head, may say to the contrary;

when held out of the window. Thus as the ---such a truth of surface as represented the composition takes place it must be in large science of electricity becomes better under- mist,the vegetation, &c. in CLAUDE's pictures ; these gases must be disengaged: oxygen is stood, we shall be more able to judge of the and the flesh, &c. inTitian's, as Nature's own! absorbed by all bodies during combustion, but agent which keeps these extraordinary and -- This true appearance never derogates from hydrogen is itself a combustible body, the awful phenomeņa in a state of activity during the dignity of Nature, but imitates a portion of oxygen is consequently absorbed as soon as it so many centuries, until then we can only ex- her rich and beautiful variety. is produced, and the hydrogen is united with the ercise our imaginations in forming theories,

The picture, however, immediately under our subterranean fire, but from its natural light- which must, like their predecessors in every able quantity of heat, it has a strong tendency observation establish more certain grounds on volcanic luminousness is there not inappropri ness and being now combined with a consider science, sink into nothing, as experiment and observation, is in no small degree an excep

which we may reason,

. to ascend, and at the first vent rushes out in

ately represented by that clear and brittly look, the state of fame, with an inconceivable force,

which is mainly the erroneous surface we have bearing with it stones, earth, and whatever op


been complaining of in this Artist's works. pose its passage, which it sometimes melts,

There has been also a want of more science and forming lava. This theory, however, is liable PICTURE OF THE DESTRUCTION OF an unconstrained air in this painter's figures, to some objections, for the force which is ma- POMPEII AND HERCULANEUM. together with some of that deep but not exnifested at Etna and Vesuvius in throwing

ternally agitated look of grief and despair, stones 40 and 60 miles, cannot well be en

which Poussin, with so observant and various gendered in the mere tendency of the air to

a knowledge of the human figure, physiogascend; and as we are not to suppose a parti- E. ATHERSTONE's Last Days of Herculaneum. nomy, and heart, intermixed among others tion between the fire and the water, why does

of a strenuous character. With a diminished, not this admixture oftener take place?

Whatever variety of opinion exist's as to the and indeed a comparatively small portion of It has been the opinion of others, that erup- kind and degree of Mr. Martin's genius, the these defects, including also the size of the tions and all the phenomena attendant thereon, fact of its being of a very high order is placed picture, which seems to limit the magnificent

“ What thought can reach, What language can express, the agonies, The horrors of that hour !'

and awful nature of the subject, the work is look like the Tartarean regions of punishment | far short of my wishes. In most things too, I
more complete than any previously painted by anguish and horror. Some persons have on- am an arlmirer of brevity; I cannot endure
this Artist. The lines and groups are all jected to this; but a gentleman who has wit- long dinners. All the delicate viands that sea
beautifully arranged; and the light, from its nessed the eruption very many times, says that and land, with all the points “on the shipman's
central energy on Vesuvius, is gradually car- the fiery effect cannot be exaggerated. The card,” produce, are not so irresistible a temp-
ried off with exquisite judgment to the dark- Painter has made us see as well as feel the tation to gluttony, as the ennui of a needless
ened extremities of the picture, after blazing vivid essence of his art in these nobly painted half-hour at table : certain motions of the jaws
over the fate-emitting volcano, glaring on its novelties—now novelties, though their originals are undoubtedly infectious ; such are laughing,
contiguous objects, and decreasingly gleaming have been, and in part are occasionally repeat- yawning, and eating. Should the night-mare,
to the foreground. The mother, with her ed from those great steam engines of the and her nine fold,” descend visibly upon the
death-smitten offspring at her side, exposing world--the nitrous Vesuvius and Etna.t dishes ; should indigestion, after the old fashi-
herself with open and inviting arms to the fiery
deluge, and the wife, fallen on the bosom of

on, assume the shape of Abernethey to admonish
+ It is thought that the eruption of the volcanic me, and gout appear in the yet more formida-

matter from the crater is occasioned by the operation ble likeness of a racking toe, the mere dead
her expired husband, are well chosen, because
natural and pathetic groups. In the elevated of steam in the cavity below.

weight of time would turn the balance of my
foreground, are a family stretched on the ground

resolves. I am partial to short ladies. Here
dead; Roman centurions protecting their fami-

BRIEF OBSERVATIONS UPON BREVITY.XI shall be told, perhaps, that the Greeks in-
lies under their shields; Pliny embracing his

clude size in their ideal of beauty; that all Ho
friend Pomponianus; the soldiers and slaves

mer's fair ones are “large and comely,” and
in attendance on him and Pliny; parts of the

“ Brevity,” says Polonius, " is the soul of that Lord Byron has expressed his detestation
town of Stabia falling, by earthquake.

A wit,” and twenty men as wise as he have said of “dumpy women.” All this is very true,
little beyond these, are the mutitude of people so after him.

« Truth,” says Mr. Stephen but what is it all to me? Women are not
crowding towards the shipping for safety. In Jones, the worthy compiler of parious Bio- ideals, nor do we love or admire them as such;
the mid-distance, is the sea with ships, agitated graphical, Geographical, and Lexicographical Homer makes his heroes tall as well as his
by the earthquake; the town of Pompeii; the

" is the soul of my work, and heroines ; there cannot, as Falstaff says be bet-
bridge of the Serna falling by carthquake the brevity is its body.”. Strange quality, that ter sympathy. And as for his Lordship, when
Stabian way crowded with fugitives, &c.; Re- can at once be body and soul! Rare coinci

: I am the Grand Turk, he shall choose for me.
tina, the Villa Suburbina, &c. Remotely, are dence, that the soul of wit should be the body I revere the sex as much as any man, but I do
Oplontis, Herculaneum, the sloping and hilly of a pocket dictionary.

not like to look up to them. I had rather be
approaches to Vesuvius; and, above all, the

Many excellent things, good reader of six consorted “ with the youngest wren of nine,"
stupendous Vesuvius

, from whose summit rises feet high, partake of the property which thou than with any daughter of Eve whose morning
a huge and bright column of fiery matter, dost look down upon, or else overlook, so

stature was taller than my evening shadow.
lava, &c. while down its sides is the rapid flow scornfully: To take a few casual instances; Whatever such an amazon might condescend
of the boiling and destroying lava upon the ill- such as life, pleasure, a good style, and good to say to me, it would sound of nothing but
fated towns and country below. An immense resolutions, all which are notoriously, nay, low and little." Those pretty diminutives,
• black

and dreadful cloud, in which flash the proverbially, brief: would scantily raise the which in all languages are the terms of affec-
• forked lightnings, overhangs the whole, and matter to the altitude of the apprehension. tion, from her lips would seem like per-
pours down hot ashes, stones, and torrents Go then, and learn by experience ; read law-sonalities; she could have but one set of
of stony mud, which converted the cities and yers' briefs without a fee; study the Statutes phrases for fondness and for seorn. If I
blooming fields into igneous sepulchres for at Large ; regale thyself with Viner's Abridge would

whisper soft nonsense in her ear," I
their numerous and terrified people. In the ment: if thou beest a tradesman, give long must get on my legs, as if I were going to
fiery horror, before inconceivable, Nature ap- credit ; if thou dost set a value on the mo-

move a resolution; if in walking I would
pears as if forsaken of her conservative power ments, bind thine ears to seven hours' ap- keep step with her,' I must stride as if I were
and her guardian God, and that the great Prin- prenticeship to the British Senate, or the Bri- measuring the ground for two duellists, one,
ciple of Evil was pouring out his phial of wrath tish Forum: or, if thou canst, recal the days of whom was my very good friend, and the
upon inert but beauteous Nature, and upon of Auld Lang Syne, of long sermons, and the other a very good shot. Should I dance with
sentient Man.

long Parliament ; when the long - winded her (alas,' I am past my dancing days) I
Some very novel features of representation preachers were accustomed to hold forth over should seem like a cock-boat tossing in a
are seen in the perpendicular descent of the un-

their glasses, to the long-eard and long suf-storm, at the stern of a three decker. And
wonted and ruthless sleet; the voluminous as fering multitude : over their glasses, I say, should I wed her (proh dolor! I am declared.
cent of the smoky and pitchy cloud; the floods but not such glasses as were wont to inspire by signs infallible an old bachelor elect; cats,
of streaming lava ; the shields of the military the tragic sublimity of Æschylus, the blis- the coyest of the breed, leap on my knees
held up against the sky-descending contents of tering humour of Aristophanes, and the blus- that saucy knave,* called the old bachelor,

artillery; the awful concavity above tering humour of Old Ben; not such glasses falls eternally to 'my share, and no soft look
of combustious cloud, impenetrable to the sun's

as whetted the legal acuinen of Black stone, of contradiction averts the omen; candles
light, and vaulting and overwhelming
an in- and assisted the incomparable Brinsley to weep shrink self-extinguished when I would

for the calamities of India. No, my jovial them, and no sweet voice will chide my awk-
inense and populous country (where till now
Nature and Art reposed in undisturbed glory) friends, the Gospel trumpeters were as dry as wardness): but should I wed her, 7 must
and an expanse of sea that moved with the they were lengthy. Their glasses were such as

“ stand the push of every beardless vain com-
gentle breathings of Nature, the breezes of that which old Time is represented as running

parative." The young Etonian jackanapes
health and commerce ; the reddened fever with away with, though in sober truth they run, or would call us Elegiacks (carmen lugubre!);
which she is all over flushed, except where rather creep away with him ; such glasses as

the Cantab pedants would talk of their dupli-
varied with ashy grey and partial darkness from we naturally associate with a death's head, a

cate ratios ; yea, unbreached urchins, old ale-
the nubilous covering, and where the blue college fag, or a lawyer's office. Should a wives, and coblers in their stalls, would cry
electricity varies her eriinson complexion pre- modern pulpit orator undertake to preach by out after us " There goes eighteen pence;'
viously to her deep moans in thunder, the re- the hour-glass, I am inclined to think he would and prudential punsters would wish the match
Vesuvius, and her loud panting

res- be building his hopes of preferment on a sandy might prove bappy, but it was certainly very
pirations of air. The whole scene has å red foundation, and would inost probably see his

and yellow reflex of fiery light, that, terrible congregation run out before his sand. At all

But of all long things, there are three
in its glory, makes the spreading ocean, the events, he would make the world (uneaning which I hold in special abhorence ; a long bill

winding shore, the stately edifices, the vege- thereby the parish clerk, and charity children,

a long coach, and a long debate. Bills, it
tative plains, the gradually rising hills and who were compelled to a final perseverance) must be observed, are apt to grow long in
mountain, with the astounded population

as much in love with brevity, as if they had
each inherited a chancery suit, or had their

* It is needless to mention that this alludes to a
* In the year 1694 the stones reached Benevento, several properties charged with long annuities. Christmas gambol, wherein a particular knave in the
nearly 30 miles off'; and in 1717, the boiling stream

I am brief myself; brief in stature, brief in pack is called the old bachelor, and the person
of laya was half a mile broad and 5 miles long. discourse; short of memory and money, and I drawing it is set down as a confirmed Calebs.

[ocr errors]

* 2 y






and xs

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors][ocr errors]

proportion as the means of paying them are, children; confinement and the want of fresh

MATHEMATICS. short; and tradesmen do not, like "honorable air are themselves sufficiently painful to them, gentlemen,” move for leave to bring thein in. and they seldom possess the faculty of deriv

Solution of No. 4, by Agnes. But it is not the appalling sum total that I ing amuseinent from inconveniencies. But regard. It is the mizzling insignificant items, all the troubles of our progress were nothing The first equation, by transposition, will become the heart-breaking fractions, the endless sub-to the intolerable stopping. All conversation,

x3 + skie

14y3 divisions of misery, that provoke me. It is as even that of the politicians, ceased instantly. if one were condemned to be blown up with a Sigh answered sigh, and groans were heard in

This, with the addition of

125y3 mass of gunpowder, and at the same time to all the notes of the gamut. The very horses

is evidently the feel the separate explosion of every grain. seemed to sympathize with the feelings of the

cube of .. Few of those pestilential vehicles called long passengers, by various inarticulate sounds ex

. If, therefore, we add to both sides coaches infest our roads at present; but when pressing, not, indeed, impatience to be gone, of this equation


we shall obtain, by evolution, I was a young traveller they were frequent, but uneasiness at staying. It was a hopeless especially on the northern stages. Their ex- condition. Every face was a glass, in which

* = 54; and, hence, = - 2y. ternal semblance was that of a hearse, and one might see the lengthening of one's own.

Let this value of x be substituted in the second their inward accomodations might vie with For the last stage, a dozing silence prevailed, those of a slave-ship. An incontinent vestal which made me almost wish for noise again. given equation, and we shall have, might have rehearsed her living inhumation in Any thing to drown the rumble of the

azy 2ay 2 --- 3y3 = 0; one of them. They carried ten inside! Au- wheels, and the perpetual and unavailing and by transposition, and division, thors, children, and dandies, were only counted crack of the whip, which was applied unmer

a2 2ay = 3y ; as fractions; and Daniel Lambert himself would cifully, and, as it were, mechanically, with- If to both sides of this equation we add yo, and only have been considered as an unit. Their out the smallest acceleration.

then extract the square root, we shall find a-y= 2y. pace was intolerably slow; their stages long; I am not sure whether these machines have their drivers thirsty'; and ale-houses innumer- not been put down by the legislature. Would Wherefore, y able. It is difficult to conceive what a variety that the same, august body would exercise A solution was received from Amicus. of distress they sometimes contained. I re- their authority upon long speeches as well as member à journey in one of them, I think it on long coaches, and be as careful of the nawas between Lancaster and Manchester, per- tional time as of the bones of his Majesty's lo

Solution of No. 5, by Mathematicus. haps the dullest road in England, which beat comotive subjects. Oh! that the value of bre- Let d be the diameter of the sphere, a= 3.1416, the miseries of human life hollow. It was vity were understood within the walls of St. and h = height of the segment; then, da will repreduring the high fever of trade, and just after Stephen's! I never cast an eye on the close- sent the circumference of the sphere. Now, by menthe summer holidays. I was then a minim, printed colums of a paper, without being trans- saration, the convex superfices of the segment, whose and counted as nobody. Three youths, return-ported by imagination into the Speaker's chair. height is h, will be d a h; again, by a well known ing " unwillingly to school," "with all their I had rather be transported to Botany Bay property of the circle, (d-b) x x 4x=dah consolatory store of half-eaten apples and gin- How anxiously must that model of enforced ah2 = area of the base of the segment, whose gerbread, and with looks that indicated a patience keep watch for some irregularity, and height is h ;-lastly, 4 times the area of a circle woeful neglect of regimen during the vacation, with what joy must he seize the opportunity of whose dianteter is h, is ah2 ; consequently, dah --composed one passenger. The landlady of the crying Order. How sweet to his ears must be ah2 + ah2 dah. Swan Inn, in bulk a Falstaff, and clothed like the sound of his own voice, thus coupled with Prestbury Road,

Q. E. D. the Grave-digger, ditto (bearing a brandy- the sense of authority.

Macclesfield, April 1st, 1822. bottle, which, with most importunate civility, A long debate is, to me, like a long story,

Solutions were received from X. Y.-J. H.--and she proffered to the company, in spite of re- of which I know the conclusion before it is

Gordius. peated and sincere refusals); a consumptive begun. To read or listen to it is as tedigentleman, who supplied his lack of natural ous as to play a game which you are sure

Question No. 7, by Agnes. dimension by a huge box-coat; a sick lady, of losing, or to fight for your life when you

Find the length of a pendulum that will vibrate with her son (who by the way was very dis- know that, in case of defeat or victory, it is agreeably affected by the motion of the car alike forfeited. The catastrophe of every dis- seconds, where a heavy body descends from rest riage), her sister, and a lap-dog ; a strong mi- cussion may be so clearly foreseen, and thevery througb 10.4 feet in a second of time. nisterialist of eighteen stone; and an equally arguments, and also the very metaphors of

Question No. 8, by O. violent, and almost equally bulky, partizan each member, so easily anticipated, that it is of opposition ; neither of these worthies were a cruel oppression to force a man to tread Having given . + 40y – xy2 : 40

the intricate mazes of eloquence, in order to And 48% perfectly sober, and their vociferation was such

2 + 50y - y 545 to find x & y. as to drown every other sound, except the arrive at a point to which a hop, step, and complaints of the sick lady, and the occasional | jump, may carry him. I proposed to speak REPOSITORY OF GENIUS. yelping of the lap-dog ;) a very smart, yet in- briefly of brevity, and lo, I have produced a nocent-looking young woman, who was sadly long discourse upon length. I intended to

An Acrostic, a Solution of Charade No. 2. pestered with the coarse gallantry of a middle-shew that lovely things are brief, and I have

War is allowed by all to be aged manufacturer of cotton; there was also a digressed into an exposition of the unloveli

“A national calamity.” very prim and self-complacent young gentle- ness of lengthiness. Lest I should utterly

R ing, with high and low in common, man, who seemed to value himself much on belie my title, I will even conclude here.

Remains “ a pledge of union.” his acute sense of the disagreeable, and not

I f you would find half a dead sheep, less on a peculiar delicate mode of swearing,

No doubt you'll look for mut-ton cheap. mincing and clipping his oaths till they were


(Guarded by union and peace almost softened into nonsense

The popular Song of ‘Oh the Roast Beef of Old That plenty here may never cease), Such were the intestines : the roof and box England' was set to music by a composer of that pe- Of these three, then, war, ring, and ton, were proportionably loaded. There was some riod, named Leveridge. As he was one day passing N ought can be made but Warrington. little danger of breaking down, and no little a Butcher's Shop, where the owner was employed in

ARION. fear of it. Every jolt produced a scream from scraping his chopping block, he was greeted by the the sick lady, a yelp from the lap-dog, an oath sound of God bless you, Master Leveridot God Charade, No. 12, ascribed to the celebrated from the young gentleman, and a nauseous jest, from whom hie perceived it came, he thanked him for

Porson. or a vulgar proffer of service to the females, his benediction, but said he was wholly ignorant bow My first, though your house, nay your life, be defends, from the cotton-manufacturer. Against this he deserved it. God bless you, Master Leveridge,' You ungratefully name like the wretch you despise, chaos of discords we had to balance the mo

the man repeated, 'You have given us a fine song upon My second, (I speak it with grief) comprehends mentary interruption of the political jangle, the Roast Beef of Old England, it goes off rarely; All the good, and the fair, and the learned, and the and a shriek in exchange for the customary but, Master Leveridge, could'nt you be so good as wise, groans of the landlady's.

give us acotber upon boil'd beef, for that sticks on of my whole, I bave little or nothing to say, Scenes of this kind are very distressing to hand confoundedly.'

Except that it tells the departure of day.


« ElőzőTovább »