But his custom was to impress on his memory the substance of what he had beforehand.carefully written, and then to speak as he found liberty. One morning, as he rode rapidly along to Dunipace, his written sermons were dropped on the wayside. This accident prevented him having the opportunity of preparing in his usual manner; but he was enabled to preach with more than usual freedom. For the first time in his life, he discovered that he possessed the gift of extemporaneous composition, and learned, to his own surprise, that he had more composedness of mind and command of language than he had believed. This discovery, however, did not in the least degree diminish his diligent preparation. Indeed, the only use that he made of the incident at the time it occurred was, to draw a lesson of dependence on God's own immediate blessing, rather than on the satisfactory preparation made. "One thing always fills the cup of my consolation, that God may work by the meanest and poorest words, as well as by the most polished and ornate-yea perhaps more readily, that the glory may be all his own.' His hands were again full, distributing the bread of life in fellowship with Mr Bonar. The progress of his own soul, meanwhile, may be traced in some of the few entries that occur in his diary during this period: February 21. 1836-Sabbath.-Blessed be the Lord for another day of the Son of Man. Resumed my diary, long broken off; not because I do not feel the disadvantages of it -making you assume feelings and express rather what you wish to be than what you are-but because the advantages seem greater. It ensures sober reflection on the events of the day as seen in God's eye. Preached twice in Larbert, on the righteousness of God, Rom. i. 16. In the morning was more engaged in preparing the head than the heart. This has been frequently my error, and I have always felt the evil of it, especially in prayer. Reform it, then, O Lord." Feb. 27.-Preached in Dunipace with more heart than ever I remember to have done, on Rom. v. 10, owing to the gospel-nature of the subject and prayerful preparation. Audience smaller than usual! How happy and strange is the feeling when God gives the soul composure to stand and plead for him. O that it were altogether for him I plead, not for myself." "March 5.-Preached in Larbert with very much comfort, owing chiefly to my remedying the error of 21st Feb. There 6 Enlarge my heart, Enlarge my heart, and I shall fore the heart and the mouth were full. In this last remark we see the germ of his remarkably solemn ministry. His heart was filled, and his lips then spoke what he felt within his heart. He gave out not merely living water, but living water drawn at the springs that he had himself drank of; and is not this a true gospel ministry? Some venture to try what they consider a more intellectual method of addressing the conscience; but ere a minister attempts this mode, he ought to see that he is one who is able to afford more deep and anxious preparation of heart than other men. Since the intellectual part of the discourse is not that which is most likely to be an arrow in the conscience, those pastors who are intellectual men must bestow ten-fold more prayerfulness on their work, if they would have either their own or their people's souls affected under their word. If we are ever to preach with compassion for the perishing, we must ourselves be moved by those same views of sin and righteousness which moved the human soul of Jesus. (See Psalm xxxviii. and lv.) About this time he occasionally contributed papers to the Christian Herald: one of these was On sudden Conversions, showing that Scripture led us to expect such. During this month, he seems to have written the "Lines on Mungo Park," one of the pieces which attracted the notice of Professor Wilson. But whatever he engaged in, his aim was to honour his Master. I find him, after hearing sermon by another, remarking (April 3d), "Some things powerful; but I thirst to hear more of Christ." On Sabbath 16, he writes, " Preached with some tenderness of heart. O why should I not weep, as Jesus did over Jerusalem ? Evening-Instructing two delightful Sabbathschools. Much bodily weariness. Gracious kindness of God in giving rest to the weary." 'April 13.-Went to Stirling to hear Dr Duff once more upon his system. With greater warmth and energy than ever. He kindles as he goes. Felt almost constrained to go the whole length of his system with him. If it were only to raise up an audience, it would be defensible; but when it is to raise up teachers it is more than defensible. I am now made willing, if God shall open the way, to go to India. Here am I; send me ! The missionary feeling in his soul continued all his life. The Lord had really made him willing; and this preparedness to go anywhere completed his preparation for unselfish, self-denied work at home. Must there not be somewhat of this missionary tendency in all true ministers? Is any one truly the Lord's messenger who is not quite willing to go when and where the Lord calls? Is it justifiable in any to put aside a call from the north, on the ground that he wishes one from the south? We must be found in the position of Isaiah, if we are to be really sent of God. "April 24.-0 that this day's labour may be blessed! and not mine alone, but all thy faithful servants all over the world, till thy Sabbath come." 'April 26.-Visiting in Carron-shore. every where. Truly a pleasant labour. Well received Cheered me much. Preached to them afterwards from Proverbs i." "May 8.-Communion in Larbert. Served as an elder and help to the faithful. Partook with some glimpses of faith and joy. Served by a faithful old minister (Mr Dempster of Denny), one taught of God. This morning stood by the dying-evening, stood by the dead, poor J. F. having died last night. I laid my hand on her cold forehead, and tried to shut her eyes. Lord give me strength for living to thee!—strength also for a dying hour." 66 May 15.-This day an annular eclipse of the sun. Kept both the services together in order to be in time. Truly a beautiful sight to see the shining edge of the sun all round the dark disc of the moon. Lord, one day thy hand shall put out those candles; for there shall be no need of the sun to lighten the happy land; the Lamb is the light thereof-a sun that cannot be eclipsed-that cannot go down." "May 17.-Visited thirteen families, and addressed them all in the evening in the school, on Jeremiah 1. 4, 'Going and weeping.' Experienced some enlargement of soul; said some plain things; and had some desire for their salvation, that God might be praised." 66 May 21. Preparation for the Sabbath. My birth-day. I have lived twenty-three years. Blessed be my Rock. Though I am a child in knowledge of my Bible and of Thee, yet use me for what a child can do, or a child can suffer. How few sufferings I have had in the year that is past, except in my own body. Oh! that as my day is my strength may be Give me strength for a suffering, and for a dying hour! May 22.-O Lord, when thou workest. all discourage ments vanish-when thou art away, any thing is a discouragement. Blessed be God for such a day-one of a thousand! O why not always this? Watch and pray." Being in Edinburgh this month, during the sitting of the General Assembly, he used the opportunity of revisiting some of his former charge in the Cannongate. "J. S., a far-off inquirer, but surely God is leading. His hand draws out these tears. Interesting visits to L.; near death, and still in the same mind. I cannot but hope that some faith is here. Saw Mrs M.; many tears: felt much, though I am still doubtful, and in the dark. Thou knowest, Lord!" "June 11.-Yesterday up in Dunipace. It would seem as if I were afraid to name the name of Christ. Saw many worldly people greatly needing a word in season, yet could not get up my heart to speak. What I did failed almost completely. I am not worthy, Lord! To-day sought to prepare my heart for the coming Sabbath. After the example of Boston, whose life I have been reading, examined my heart with prayer and fasting. 1. Does my heart really close with the offer of salvation by Jesus? Is it my choice to be saved in the way which gives him all the praise, and me none? Do I not only see it to be the Bible way of salvation, but does it cordially approve itself to my heart as delightful? Lord search me and try me, for I cannot but answer, Yes, yes. 2. Is it the desire of my heart to be made altogether holy? Is there any sin I wish to retain ? Is sin a grief to me, the sudden risings and overcomings thereof especially? Lord, thou knowest all things-thou knowest that I hate all sin, and desire to be made altogether like thee. It is the sweetest word in the Bible-Sin shall not have dominion over you.' O then that I might lie low in the dustthe lower the better-that Jesus' righteousness and Jesus' strength alone be admired. Felt much deadness and much grief, that I cannot grieve for this deadness. Towards evening revived. Got a calm spirit through psalmody and prayer." "June 12-Sabbath.-To-day a sinner preached Jesus, the same Jesus who has done all things for him, and that so lately! A day of much help, of some earnest looking-up of the heart to that alone quickening power, of much temptation to flattery and pride. O for breathing gales of spiritual life! Evening-Somewhat helped to lay Jesus before little children in his beauty and excellency. Much fatigue, yet some peace. Surely a day in thy courts is better than a thousand." "May 15.-Day of visiting-rather a happy one-in Carron-shore. Large meeting in the evening. Felt very happy after it, though mourning for bitter speaking of the gospel. Surely it is a gentle message, and should be spoken with angelic tenderness, especially by such a needy sinner.' Of this bitterness in preaching, he had little indeed in after days; yet so sensible was he of its being quite natural to all of us, that oftentimes he made it the subject of conversation, and used to grieve over himself if he had spoken with any thing less than solemn compassion. I remember on one occasion, when we met, he asked what my last Sabbath's subject had been. It had been, "The wicked shall be turned into hell." On hearing this awful text, he asked, “ Were you able to preach it with tenderness ?" Certain it is that the tone of reproach and upbraiding is widely different from the voice of solemn warning. It is not saying hard things that pierces the consciences of our people; it is the voice of Divine love heard amid the thunder. The sharpest point of the two-edged sword is not death but life; and against selfrighteous souls this latter ought to be more used than the former. For such souls can hear us tell of the open gates of hell and the unquenchable fire far more unconcernedly than of the gates of heaven wide-open for their immediate return. When we preach that the glad tidings were intended to impart immediate assurance of eternal life to every sinner that believes them, we strike deeper upon the proud enmity of the world to God, than when we show the eternal curse and the second death. "June 19-Sabbath.-Wet morning. Preached at Dunipace to a small audience, on Parable of the Tares. I thank God for that blessed parable.- -In both discourses I can look back on many hateful thoughts of pride, and self-admiration, and love of praise, stealing the heart out of the service "June 22.-Carron-shore. My last. Some tears; yet fear some like the messenger, not the message; and I fear I am so vain as to love that love. Lord, let it not be so. Perish my honour, but let Thine be exalted for ever." "June 26-True Sabbath-day. Golden sky. Full church, and more liveliness than sometimes. Shall I call the liveliness of this day a gale of the Spirit, or was all natural ? I know that all was not of grace: the self-admiration, the vanity, the desire of honour, the bitterness-these were all breaths of earth or hell. But was there no grace? Lord, thou knowest. I dare not wrong thee by saying—No! |