And threatens to exhibit me With four or five performing mice." 199 "Restrain my tears I wish I could." "I don't know what to Said Captain Bagg: "You're very good." "Oh, not at all," said Baines Carew. "She makes me fire a gun," said Bagg: In public places calls me 'Sweet!' "Oh, woe! oh, sad, oh, dire to tell!" (Said Baines). "Be good enough to stop." And senseless on the floor he fell, With unpremeditated flop. Said Captain Bagg: "Well, really I I thank you for your sympathy; But, hang it !-come-I say, you know!" But Baines lay flat upon the floor, BOB POLTER. BOB POLTER was a navvy, and His hands were coarse, and dirty too, His homely face was rough and tanned, His time of life was thirty-two, He lived among a working clan, He smoked, but in a modest way, Because he thought he needed it ; He drank a pot of beer a day, And sometimes he exceeded it. At times he'd pass with other men A loud convivial night or two, With, very likely, now and then, On Saturdays, a fight or two. But still he was a sober soul, No other could wake such detestable groans, | He blew at his "Cottage," and blew with a With reed and with chaunter-with bag and with drones: All day and all night he delighted the chiels With sniggering pibrochs and jiggety reels. He'd clamber a mountain and squat on the ground, And the neighboring maidens would gather To list to the pipes and gaze on his een, All loved their McClan, save a Sassenach Who came to the Highlands to fish and to shoot; He dressed himself up in a Highlander way, Torbay had incurred a good deal of expense, A Sassenach chief may be bonily built, Stick a skean in his hose-wear an acre of But he cannot assume an affection for pipes. Clonglocketty's pipings all night and all day "Macphairson Clonglocketty Angus, my lad, With pibrochs and reels you are driving me mad. will, For a year, seven months, and a fortnight, until (You'll hardly believe it) McClan, I declare, Elicited something resembling an air. It was wild-it was fitful-as wild as the It wandered about into several keys; If you really must play on that cursed af-Oh! fair, My goodness! play something resembling an air." Boiled over the blood of Macphairson Mc- Oh! loud were the wailings for Angus McClan, deep was the grief for that excellent man, The maids stood aghast at that horrible scene Especially Ellen McJones Aberdeen. The Clan of Clonglocketty arose as one man; "Let's show," said McClan, "to this Sasse nach loon That the bagpipes can play him a regular tune. He pitied the poor little fluttering birds, And solaced their souls with the following words: Let's see," said McClan, as he thoughtfully "Oh, maidens," said Pattison, touching his sat, "In My Cottage' is easy-I'll practice at "Don't blubber, my dears, for a fellow like that." bat, that; Observe, I'm a very superior man, They smiled when he winked and addressed them as " dears," And they all of them vowed, as they dried up their tears, A pleasanter gentleman never was seen- GENTLE ALICE BROWN. This is the most distressing news that I have ever heard. Why, naughty girl, your excellent papa has pledged your hand To a promising young robber, the lieutenant of his band! "This dreadful piece of news will pain your worthy parent so! They are the most remunerative customers I know; For many many years they've kept starvation from my doors: It was a robber's daughter, and her name I never knew so criminal a family as yours! was Alice Brown, Her father was the terror of a small Italian town; Her mother was a foolish, weak, but amiable old thing; But it isn't of her parents that I'm going for to sing. As Alice was a-sitting at her window-sill one day, A beautiful young gentleman he chanced to pass that way; She cast her eyes upon, and he looked so good and true, That she thought: "I could be happy with a gentleman like you!" "The common country folk in this insipid Have nothing to confess, they're so ridicuneighborhood And if you marry any one respectable at lously good; all, Why, you'll reform, and what will then be come of Father Paul?" The worthy priest, he up and drew his cowl upon his crown, And started off in haste to tell the news to Robber Brown To tell him how his daughter, who was now for marriage fit, And every morning passed her house that Had winked upon a sorter, who recipro "For shame!" said Father Paul, "my erring And Mrs. Brown dissected him before she daughter! On my word went to bed. And pretty little Alice grew more settled in | And beef for the generous mess, where the her mind, She never more was guilty of a weakness of the kind, Until at length good Robber Brown bestowed her pretty hand On the promising young robber, the lieutenant of his band.' A bumboat woman was I, and I faithfully served the ships With apples, and cakes, and fowls and beer, and half-penny dips, officers dine at nights, And fine fresh peppermint drops for the rollicking midshipmites. Of all the kind commanders who anchored in Portsmouth Bay, By far the sweetest of all was kind Lieutenant Belaye. Lieutenant Belaye commanded the gunboat "Hot Cross Bun," She was seven and thirty feet in length, and she carried a gun. With a laudable view of enhancing his country's naval pride, When people inquired her size, Lieutenant Belaye replied: "Oh, my ship, my ship is the first of the Hundred and Seventy-ones!" Which meant her tonnage, but people im. agined it meant her guns. |