the vicinity of Durham, in a place not folitary environs of his manfion, fhe knew not the excefs of my tendernefs! She was wholly unacquainted with the dignity of my paffion! Doubtefs the fuppofed me to be one of those despicable beings who only flatter the ear of beauty, to inftil into it with fuccefs the poifon of seductory delufion, or fhe could not have refufed me at least that faint confolation which generous pity will always impart to an agonizing mind. Oh, Eleonora!' he would add, deluded, cruel, yet too lovely fair-one! could I flatter myself that thy kind concern attended my cheerlefs pur'fuits, even this folitude would cease to be irksome, and these shades afford a charm to my difconfolate heart!' To diffipate his griefs, he made occafional excurfions among the neighbouring hamlets, where refpect and veneration attended his fteps, and Labour fufpended his tafk to fall on his knees, and humbly crave a benediction. But his principal fource of confolation was in a convent of female votaries, who regaled him with excellent cordials, and were never more happy than when Father Nicodemus was announced. . In this manner had five years lingered away without his ever receiving the fmalleft intelligence refpecting the fair-one whofe caprice had driven him from fociety; when one day, as he was fitting penfive and alone, his eye bedewed with a tear which nothing but the recollection of her conduct could have drawn from it, his attention was rouzed by the appearance of a stranger, who in a feeble tone of fupplication earnestly requested to be admitted under his lonely roof, and to be taught by his precepts and example the practice of thofe duties which conftitute the fanctity of religious perfection. This propofal was far from difagreeable to a perfon who had long been weary of unfocial folitude; and the ftranger was foon furnished with a fuitable drefs, and instructed in every point of duty, to which he attended with the utmost regularity and pre cifion. cifion. He was diftinguished by the appellation of Brother Timothy, and regularly attended his preceptor in all his excurfions; but though his connection with Father Nicodemus every where enfured him the duties of politeness, he never was a particular favourite with the pious dames of whom honourable mention has already been made. Eleonora and her husband, who were furrounded with every pleasure which diffipation could point out, or an ample fortune procure, were ftill unhappy. Several unfuccefsful applications had been made to religious men on the fubject of pregnancy; but as the husband objected to one effential point, that of leaving his wife entirely at their devotion, it is no wonder that their interference should fail to produce the ufual effect. He now began to treat Eleonora with indifference, which was foon fucceeded by difguft; and, after cohabiting with her for a few years, during which time her fortune was facrificed to the bafeft purposes of his infidelity, he quitted her under a frivolous pretence, and left her to contempt and mifery, in a world where, till now, he had been cherished by the fmiles of fortune, and charmed by the voice of adulation. It is, perhaps, unneceffary to add, that from that moment the ceased to have a friend, though many were now witnesses to her diftrefs who owed their own eafe entirely to her former bounty. In this fituation, nothing ever gave her more heart-felt pain than the recollection of her conduct to Hargrove; whofe good qualities now appeared the more amiable, as they were inevitably contrasted with the vices of her perfidious husband. Though every idea of being happy with him was now deftroyed by her union with another, fhe would gladly have thrown herself at his feet, implored his forgivenefs, and made every atonement to his infulted love which the moft fincere repentance could fuggeft to a broken heart; but all her enquiries refpecting this unfortunate gentleman ended in difappointment, nor could any perfon even inform her whether he were Atill living or numbered with the dead. After experiencing a feries of woes, the relation of which would feem to mock the ear of credulity, worn out with care and wretchedness, the refolved to feek an afylum in religious retirement, the laft resource of difappointed ambition and love; and, being refufed admittance among her own fex on account of her matrimo nial tie, the found it neceffary to try her fate in the habit of a monk, under which difguife fhe became the pious affociate of her former lover. The time which had elapfed fince their former intimacy affifted to remove every trace of recollection; nor was the circumftance difcovered by either till a very extraordinary event produced a mutual explanation. Nicodemus had, indeed, feveral times expreffed his furprize at brother Timothy's having fo thin and weak a beard, which to him appeared perfectly unaccountable; but this was attributed to a natural weakness of conftitution, and every other enquiry was rendered ineffectual by the most circumfpect evafions. One morning, however, the pious brother happening to fleep rather longer than ufual, Father Nicodemus ventured into his cell to enquire after his health, and the reason of the delay. He was on this occafion furprized by a phænomenon which at firft ftruck him with terror and amazement. Brother Timothy, in his fleep, had fo far difcompofed that part of his garb which ought to have concealed his bofom, as perfectly to account for his want of beard, and fome other particulars which had excited the holy father's attention during the time of their late cohabitation. Jefu! Maria!' faid he, croffing himfelf at least a dozen times without interruption as he repeated the words, what strange metamorphofe has taken place in poor brother Timothy!thy!Brother Timothy !? 2 Y 2 exclaimed exclaimed he with peculiar emphafis At and his eyes raised to Heaven, expreffed what his tongue would have faid, had it finished the fentence. this inftant Timothy awoke; and feeing the grave Nicodemus in his cell, with great compofure requested his benediction. This was no fooner granted, than the pious father began to urge feveral queftions of a peculiar nature to his affociate, which the reader may easily fuppofe, when he was interrupted by a loud rap at the door of his cell. Astonished at fo early an intrufion, the pious father haftily enquired the caufe; and was anfwered by a villager, in a melancholy tone, that a ftranger of genteel appearance had just been attacked by robbers, and was at the very point of death in confequence of the wounds which their barbarity had inflicted. This intelligence put an end to all farther queries for the prefent, The countryman led the way; and Nicodemus and Timothy followed with the utmost expedition to the fatal fpot: but what was their furprize, when they beheld in the perfon of the ftranger who had been juft affaffinated, an affecting inftance of that vengeance which foon or late is ever obferved to fall on the guilty head! In him Nicodemus beheld with astonishment his fuccefsful rival, and his fair companion discovered the husband by whom fhe had been treated with fuch unmerited indignity, Every idea of refentment was loft in compaffion for his haplefs fate; but all their attempts to afford him relief proved inefficacious, and his laft fighs were uttered in imploring forgiveness of Heaven for his ill-treatment of Eleonora. After depofiting the mangled corpfe in the earth, the two hermits returned to their place of refidence; and fuch were the explanations and arrangements which took place between them, that a difpenfation was obtained, the hermitage difpofed of, and Eleonora, in the space of one fhort week, ceafed to be a wife, a hermit, and a widow! F THE TOUCHSTONE. NUMBER IV. TO SOLOMON SAGEBARO, ESQ. SIR, AMONG the numberless abfurdi ties with which this wife and populous city is known to abound, every perfon who has been taught to read and fpell muft immediately distinguish the very curious infcriptions which at once adorn and difgrace our shops, ta verns, and streets. To begin with the feats of literature, fcarce a day-school is to be found but what is dignified with the pompous title of an Academy; and I was not a little furprized, the other day, in paffing through a certain capital ftreet, to fee over one of the doors, infcribed in large golden characters, THE FEMALE ACADEMY. But, whatever pretenfions these Academies may have to literature, certain it is, that there are many others where it is not quite fo neceffary: fuch, for example, are Meffrs. Hughes's and Aftley's Horfe- Academies, Dancing-Academies, Hairdreffing Academies; and various others, for the promulgation of equally important fciences. In Long Acre, we are taught to expect Beef à la mode at nine o'clock all the day long; but this trifling error may be easily overlooked, as the proprietor of the houfe is an Hibernian. In another quarter of the metropolis, our attention is excited by a gentleman whofe fign-board ftiles him the Patriotic Drawing-Mafter. Should it be asked in what this new fpecies of patriotism can poffibly confift, the answer will be, in teaching the nobility and gentry at half the ufual price; not with any view of intereft, but merely for the good of the public. But what most excites my admiration, is the loyal difpofition of hopkeepers, clearly demonftrated in their defire to be thought the fervants of his Majefty. I never was authentically informed that our gra.. cious fovereign was addicted to extravagance vagance in the articles of fhoes, hats, periwigs, or leather-breeches; and yet, from the amazing number of perfons who have the honour of fupplying that great perfonage with these feveral requifites in drefs, one would naturaliy fuppofe at least two-thirds of his time must be spent in pulling off the old external man, and putting on the new. In one street I have obferved a dog-merchant, and in feveral elaftic wig-makers to his Majefty; and as to perfumers, fruiterers, tinmen, poulterers, tallow-chandlers, bug-deftroyers, and many others, they are fo numerous as almost to defy the powers of calculation. I will grant that the palace of St. James's is an antiquated building, and that, as it is for the most part adorned with wainscot, a moufe or a bug may at times have the prefumption to intrude on the royal premifes; yet I think one perfon employed in each of thofe honourable departments would, by proper exertion, be adequate to the task of destroying all these naufeous vermin. I will only add on this fubject, that her Majefty is not lefs amply provided with loyal fervants in all her wants than her benign confort; and that his Royal Highness the Prince of Wales is more largely fupplied than either, The lift of those who furnish the heir-apparent with boots, fpurs, buckles, fwords, canes, filk-ftockings, and watch-chains, (not to mention the eating-houfes, hotels, bagnios, and furgeons, who prefume to call them felves his) may be faid to extend from Hyde Park to the extremities of White Chapel. Certainly great praife is due to his Royal Highness's condefcenfion in going fuch lengths for commodities which he might foeafily procure with Qut exceeding the verge of the court. The only difficulty that occurs in thefe matters is, to reduce them within the ftatutes of common fenfe and honefty, without which they can only be confidered as moft glaring impofitions on the credulous public, By bringing them to the test of your unerring court, you will effectually prevent fuch grofs infults on our understandings in fu ture, and greatly oblige your obedient fervant, VERITAS. (F.) TO SOLOMON SAGEBARO, ESQ TREMENDOUS SIR! THOUGH, by the officious aid of H a loquacious nurse, I am able to trace my nativity to the firft day, hour, and even minute, of my existence, yet, not being verfed in the profound fcience of aftrology, I am ftill to learn whether I owe my misfortunes to the planet which ruled at my birth, or to fome other circumftance that equally eludes my penetration. Whatever be the caufe, the effect has been invariable, as I have been moft unaccountably baffled in all my arduous undertakings. In a word, Sir, the old Dutch proverb, 'that every man is born to eat and drink, but that every man is not born to get money,' has been literally veri.. fied in me; being bleffed, or rather curfed, with an excellent appetite, though not unfrequently deftitute of the means of providing for it's regular demands. The confequence of this unhappy fate has been inevitable, and has prevented me at times from being as punctual in my payments as I could have wished; on which account I have as often been ftigmatized by the opprobrious name of a fwindler. You, Sir, I am informed, have established a court of judicature, wherein common fense is to prefide in defiance of common flander and prejudice; to that court I am willing to appeal; and, after briefly ftating the nature of my cafe, am prepared to abide by it's decifion. The first occafion of my acceffion to the title already mentioned, was in the year 1779. Being at that time, as ufual, lower in cafh than fpirits, I had taken an airy lodging on the attic ftory, at the moderate rate of two fhillings and fix-pence a week. I would gladly have made my agreement for monthly payments; but to this my landlady objected; not from any doubt of my honour, but on the plea of heavy taxes, and a large family, which called called loudly for more frequent fupplies. What I apprehended was not very remote; for, at the end of the third week, when my kind hostess informed me, as ufual, that it was Saturday night, eighteen-pence proved to be the full extent of my finances; and though the feemed perfectly fatisfied with my apology, and promife of producing the odd fhilling in a few days, her charitable infinuations fo far prevailed in the neighbourhood, that by Monday every perfon I met feemed to fhun my approach, and feveral whispered as I paffed, loud enough for me to hear-There goes a fwindler!' The fatisfaction I obtain ed by remonftrance was, that the only way to be thought honeft, and a gentleman, was to pay every body their own;' to which fhe added, that no perfon was more humanely difpofed than herself, and that it had given her infinite concern to advertife a gentleman a few days before, who went away nine-pence three farthings in her debt. To avoid the honour of feeing myfelf in print on a fimilar fcore, I pawned the only waistcoat I had not on my back, and took my leave without bidding God bless the woman who had treated me with fuch unmerited indignity. Soon after this, my coat, which had long with flood the injuries of time and the weather, began to fhew evident fymptoms of that decay to which every thing is unfortunately fubject. This appeared in feveral ample fiffures behind and before; befides which, the fleeves were threadbare, and it was out at both elbows. I did not begin to contrive how to procure a new one, because that confideration had already long occupied my mind; but the abfolute neceffity of the thing now required immediate attention. I accordingly agreed with a confcientious taylor, (for fo he ftiled himself) and my payment was to be punctual at the expiration of three months, when I fatisfied him that I fhould have pecuniary claims to above four times the amount. But, alas! my ufual ill fortune attended me in this tranfaction; my creditor became a bankrupt, and I of courfe failed in my payment: yet my confcientious taylor did not fcruple to publish to the world that he had been defrauded by a fwindler. To be ferious, Sir; the avenues to defamation are already too numerous in this nation, and to fupprefs them entirely is a task to which legal terrors are at prefent inadequate. Common fenfe will tell every man, that honour and honefty depend not on the caprice and injuftice of partial fortune, and are by no means to be always determined by external caufes and appearances. A decree, Sir, from your tribunal, might fet the world to rights in this delicate point, and prevent violent means for the prefervation of character,which is more dear to every man of principle than prudence, than fortune, or even than life itfelf. I am, Sir, your unfortunate humble fervant, (F.) A GENTLEMAN. REMARKS ON THE PRESENT RECEIVED THEORY OF. ELECTRICITY. HOUGH we are racking nature THO in all her departments, in order to extort her fecrets from her; I think it will be granted me, by every unprejudiced enquirer after truth, that ours is an age for inventing and fupporting hypothefes; and it is much to be feared that, in many inftances, weare contriving experiments to prop up fyftems, rather than endeavouring, by refults drawn from experiments, to trace the hidden myfteries of nature up to their first fource. It may probably be thought by the indolent, and those who are eagerly grafping at fame, that propofitions founded upon hypothefes are short fteps to the knowledge of the laws of nature; but a little acquaintance with the hiftory of our ancestors ought furely to inform us better, when we read how many centuries the tenacious adherence to systems kept truth from their eyes, Το |